Funny Sexual Jokes

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I swear. Please don’t cancel me before chapter 1. Anyway, I was a stand-up comedian. Not the good kind who gets Netflix specials. The kind who gets hit with beer bottles and told to “Meet me backstage. You’ll get one more mic.” One night, I was performing in a bar so shady, even cockroaches walked in with bodyguards. It was full of tattooed bikers who drink engine oil, smoke burnt rubber, lick silencers, cry over their exes, and still believe their fists are a valid debate technique. And there I was—trying to make them laugh using yo mamma jokes and dark humor so black it should’ve come with a flashlight and some cotton. They didn’t laugh. I kept going. One of them pulled out a gun. I cracked a joke. He cracked my skull. Bullet. Brain. Curtains. Boom. But here’s the funny part: I always wanted to be a successful comedian. Maybe get a standing ovation. But what I got was Uncontrollable Blood Ovulation. Still, I had dreams, man. Big dreams. Make people laugh. Marry someone who doesn't need two chairs to sit. Eat three meals a day, Own a yacht (the humble kind with a helipad) I wasn’t greedy. I would have donated 0.01% of my wealth to charity. I only wanted 99% of everything. But fate, karma, God, or probably the trends of Webnovel had other plans. Because instead of resting in peace… I woke up in another world. A fantasy world full of monsters, heroes, magic, kingdoms, war… And zero comedy clubs. Just my luck. So now I’ve got a second life, a rude system, and maybe a power or two. But being a Hero is secondary. First, I am gonna roast dragons, clown on kings, incest—invest, I mean invest and make the whole world laugh until they cry—or kill me again. Either way… Welcome to the story of the most dangerous thing in every world— A man who won’t shut up. ——— ——— ——— Support Me - ko-fi.com/khyaal Join My Discord For Reference Arts and much more - https://discord.gg/zmUcswM2N5

DROPPED YOU HEARD ME RIGHT? I DROPPED IT!

A husky that can bite mythical beasts to death in one bite, a giant panda with an immortal body, and even one who claims to be the Dragon God... This is the story of a funny pet shop owner who travels through time and obtains a system. Blood, youth, and the return of the king!!

A supernatural dating app. One clueless human. And a half-demon who’s way out of his league. Dave just wanted to earn some money, test some code. What he got was accidentally thrown into the front seat of the hottest dating app for supernaturals. MonsterMatch. Thinking it’s some kind of joke, or at best RPing gold, he sets up a profile and chooses an alias. Nightmare Incubus with “chaotic cuddle energy” seeks devilishly hot female for fiery romance and walks in hell. He thinks he’s being funny. But when he matches with Lilith, she thinks he’s just plain charming. Lilith is everything he’s not: seductive, sarcastic, and half-demon. Unlike Dave, she has a sexy job in dream management. Her favorite color is leather, and she thinks he’s adorably low-effort sexy. Too bad she doesn’t know he’s only human. Now Dave’s stuck faking celestial powers, surviving monster mixers, and trying not to spontaneously combust every time Lilith smirks at him. But Lilith isn’t stupid. She knows he’s faking it. She just doesn’t care—because for once, she’s found someone who doesn’t want to drain her, summon her, or banish her. He just wants her, for her. And that might be the most dangerous thing of all.

Many think of the afterlife, some think they will face the judgment of God, some think they will only fade away in the darkness of nothing or that they will be reicarnated in another world. Like any nerd and otaku, Kaio belived/hopped that will be the last option that would happened to hum when he died, and that's what happened to him, he just didn't expect it to turn into a dungeon. Now he will have to adapt quickly, if he want to survive in this new world, that seems like a mixture of a western fantasy world and eastern cultivation, as possibly the only Dungeon in the world.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can.

> Yun Wao was just trying to vibe. He partied in another city, made a few jokes, flirted with the wrong girl, and thought life was going great. Then he came back home and found his entire dynasty reduced to ashes. No family. No friends. No king. No survivors. Just him... and the smoke. Now? Yun Wao’s walking the path of cultivation — not because he wants glory, but because someone’s gonna pay. This is the story of the Immortal Born from Ashes. It starts with tragedy. It continues with chaos. And somehow, it might even end with him smiling from the heart again. ...

Theo, a 20-year-old young man, died in the most cliché way possible, run over by a truck-kun. When he believed it was all over, a Goddess appeared before him, offering a second chance. She rebuilt his original body and sent him to another world, assuring him that he would love the new life awaiting him. Love? That was a funny joke that damned Goddess told him. The first thing he had to do when he woke up was flee from zombies that wanted a piece of him. And, to make matters worse, he didn’t seem to have a golden finger and was about to be caught by the zombies when a girl on a motorcycle appeared. After being saved by Violet, the girl on the motorcycle who had ice-creating powers, Theo learned a bit more about the world upon arriving at her base, which was actually a cruise ship. He discovers that there are cores in the heads of some zombies, and each one who absorbed a core had a certain percentage chance of becoming an ability user. A month after working on the cruise ship, Theo finally had the chance to try awakening an ability. When he was called and touched the core, something happened! [It was identified that the Host found a level 1 core, 95% pure, would you like to absorb it and activate the System now [Yes] or [No]?] ════════════ What to expect: - An MC who starts weak and gradually gets stronger. - Starts in a Zombie Apocalypse, but new mutations happen, whether with animals, zombies or plants. - LitRPG elements. Plan for Series: - 7 chapters/week. Read more chapters on my patreon: patreon.com/Lruska

JUST READ THE DAMN THING ----joking hahahahha

Death by Truck-kun? Too mainstream. I died choking on my own laughter during a late-night comedy rerun. Pathetic? Yes. Fitting for someone who gave up on life halfway through university and became a full-time couch potato? Also yes. When I opened my eyes again, I wasn’t in the afterlife—or if I was, it had a suspicious amount of baby talk and clean diapers. I was reincarnated... as an infant. No powers. No memories of my new name. Just chubby cheeks and existential dread. But the real horror? I slowly realized I was now living inside one of those cliché romance novels I absolutely despised. You know the type: cold-hearted king meets brave commoner girl, falls in love, political chaos ensues, blah blah gag me with a spoon. I read it. I hated it. And now? I think I’m in it. And not as the heroine. Or the villain. Or even the funny sidekick. No—I'm just some background baby who probably gets held once, then vanishes from the plot forever. With no grand destiny, no cheat skills, and no idea what chapter we’re on, I’ve decided to do the only thing I was ever good at—absolutely nothing. But fate has a funny way of dragging the lazy into the spotlight… They think I’m innocent. I think this whole thing is a joke. Let's see who breaks first.

Beast Bonding: Failed! Royal Bloodline: Rejected! Villainous Upgrade: Hell Yeah! Corrupted Monkey Sidekick: Bananas! Elion Von Blackmere was born with everything: charm, lineage, talent—except the one thing that mattered most: a beast. In a world where power equals beast, Elion got humiliated, exiled, and tossed aside like a broken sword. But an invitation and a corrupted mythical egg from a 13-member villain group gave him a second chance… Inside? A demon monkey with zero chill and 100% attitude. This little troublemaker got jokes, pranks, and enough sass to embarrass an entire kingdom. Now Elion isn’t here to play hero. He’s here to ruin kingdoms, crush chosen ones, and make the world regret ever laughing at the “Beastless Prince.” Face-slapping arrogant heroes? Check. Taming the untamable? Absolutely! World domination plot? …Why not? Monkey jokes? Every. Damn. Chapter. Witness the rise of the Exiled Prince of No Beast as he climbs with a demon monkey on his shoulder and vengeance in his heart. #VillainEra #ExiledPrinceArc #MonkeyMadness #FaceSlapSeason

"You aren't telling me that you want me to tell jokes. The most powerful people in this world are the jesters? No. This is ridiculous. Send me back, right now. What? Why are you laughing? I am not joking. Quit laughing, damn it." His laugh fuels my rage, as well as my newfound power. I punch him as hard as I can in the face. When I pull my fist away... his face is covered in clown makeup. I hate this world.

[sexual content and lemons warning] Warning: Sexual content, lemons, Comedy, MILFs, Genius Mc and his harem. Support the novel by adding to your library and with power stones!! ***** Freshly turned eighteen, John Newman, a helpless nerd, suddenly gets video game abilities granted to him. A mysterious higher power, a secret Abyss of magic beneath the surface of the normal world, mages, martial artists, eroticism, tragedy and a harem of hot girls awaits.

This is bullshit story a clock. I'm shitposting funny shit here.

" A killing joke " follows Dr. Kazuki Mizushima, a young physician who mysteriously awakens in a dungeon in another world. He immediately finds himself accused of being an operative for a secret cult known as the Masked Ones, who have been causing deadly transformations throughout the kingdom of Azuria.Kazuki's predicament is twofold: not only does he have no idea what his accusers are talking about, but he also can't remember any details about his personal life or what he was doing that brought him to this world. His medical knowledge remains intact, but his identity and purpose are shrouded in mystery.While imprisoned, Kazuki is interrogated by Lady Reina, a beautiful and talented court mage/physician. She discovers that Kazuki's memory loss was intentionally induced through sophisticated magical barriers, which only throws more suspicion on him. Captain Valerius, determined to protect the realm, wants to extract information from Kazuki "by any means necessary." ( also on royal road)

This is seriously just a joke I swear to God this is a joke dear Federal Agents I do not condone anything inside of this joke thingy

Three teenagers being reincarnated into a fantasy world, a joke fantasy adventure based off a Dungeons & Dragons campaign between good friends.

Kai's life sucks. Born with meridians like a cracked teacup, he can't hold Qi and is the laughingstock of his cultivation clan. After his jealous "best friend" frames him and has him dumped in a monster-infested forest to die, Kai hits rock bottom – bruised, broken, and literally beast-chow. Enter the System. Just when Kai curses his fate, a shimmering blue screen pops up: "The Absolute Bullshit Cultivator System Activated!" Its name is ridiculous, its attitude sarcastic ("Peak Level Trash" status, really?), but its gifts? Instant. A healing elixir patches him up. A movement technique downloads straight into his brain. Powerful pills flood his dantian with more Qi than he's ever felt. Suddenly OP? Kinda. Kai isn't a god... yet. But dodging a charging Razorback Boar with impossible, lightning-crab speed? Check. Leading spirit beasts on frustrating chases while laughing like a maniac? Check. This "bullshit" system just turned the world's biggest loser into its luckiest cheat code. His mission now? Survive the woods. Get stronger. Unlock more absurd system perks. And absolutely wreck the faces of everyone who threw him away. With a sarcastic AI in his head and the universe's cheat codes at his fingertips, Kai's path to becoming stupidly overpowered begins with one simple step: running away really, really fast. And maybe embracing the absolute bullshit. The path to OP starts here. Get ready for face-slapping, fast progression, and a system that thinks it's hilarious.

Within the boundaries of The Empire, powerful presences lurk behind each and every corner. After finding a mysterious mask Oscar is suddenly thrust into the deep, treacherous undercurrents of the world. Tricks to attack, Jokes to deceive. In the end, everything is in the hands of fools. ------ Cover is AI ------

This book is simple. It doesn’t have romance, or drama, or jokes. But it has unanswered questions, unresolved doubts, questionable thoughts, and escapes I once considered. It’s not much, but if you want to know what it’s about... find out.

Recently, the company I run under my name needed to move to a larger office building due to expansion. To clear out some unwanted items from the company, I specifically posted a message on my social circle, offering these miscellaneous items for free. "The company is closing, if anyone needs these things, just message me directly." This was originally just a joke, after all, my business is doing well, and anyone could guess I was joking. Unexpectedly, after posting it, my girlfriend actually called to question me. "Wang Xiao, is what you said on your social circle true? Did your company go bankrupt?" "If that's the case, then let's break up!" This joke allowed me to see my girlfriend’s true colors. Well, I guess I’ll stay in that villa I was going to give her myself!

After the Century War between the Vampires and the Elves, The prince of vampires attempts to make peace with the princess of elves. Due to both parents being murdered because of the war, both have to find a humane solution to create peace with their respected people. This novel is an Erotica. Sexual themes and sexual scenes occur frequently within the plot. You must be 18+ to read!

A reclusive billionaire, fed up with the isolation that comes with wealth, is reluctantly pushed by his well-meaning friends to download TikTok the app he’s long despised. But then he stumbles across her: an enigmatic creator who posts sarcastic, no-holds-barred daily vlogs, always hiding her face behind witty commentary and dry humor. Her take on the world is unlike anything he’s ever seen, and before he knows it, he’s hooked laughing at every joke and captivated by her sharp perspective on life. Determined to connect, he slides into her DMs, only to be met with silence. Just as he starts to give up, she posts a shocking announcement she’s engaged. It’s absurd, he knows, but the thought gnaws at him: What if she’s the one? Driven by an overwhelming sense of fate and a growing obsession, he embarks on a wild hunt to find the woman behind the screen. But as the chase escalates, he begins to question what it really means to fall in love in the digital age and whether he's chasing a dream or a real connection. In this unexpected, funny, and heartfelt tale of love, loneliness, and self-discovery, a billionaire sets out to prove that sometimes the most unpredictable paths lead to the greatest rewards.

WARNING ‼️‼️ ‼️ ‼️ Contains explicit content and strong language. Thanks for reading in advance. “Get married to me, and I will make you have a great stand in this firm,” She broke out into a peak of laughter, as did Marcello and Emilio. “Did I say something funny?” I asked and her laughter seized. “Wa… wait, you mean what you said?” "Do I look like someone who have the time to joke around?" I asked as she gave me an odd stare. "I would be willing to transfer my share of this firm to you if you agree," ****** The life of Isabella Alessandro, a young and renowned Prosecutor in one of Italy's top law firms, took a dramatic turn when she decided to celebrate her divorce at a club, only to wake up the next morning in the bed of a dangerous mafia king, who turns out to be a rival of her father. Captured by her charisma, he decided to pursue her and make her only his, not out of love but to bring about her downfall.

A teenage tennis prodigy starts his first day at a new high school only to meet a girl who’s just as skilled—and wildly unpredictable. What begins as a light rivalry on the court becomes an offbeat, funny, and philosophical exploration of love, ambition, and the strange rhythms of life.

Raised on Earth under the watchful eye of his Protector, Nova grew up in the shadows of a criminal empire, thriving, surviving, and completely unaware of the truth behind his birth. Until one day… everything changes. A near-death encounter awakens something terrifying and strange. The ability to read a person’s story. “What the hell is this!?” No more secrets. No more lies. Everyone is an open book, whether they like it or not. But what happens when his story begins to unfold? When the truth he reads… is about himself? -Nova Alaric. -20. -Born in the Astral Realm of Lummiel. -Son of the Saintess and the Astral Essence. -Heir to the infamous Strata Syndicate. All secrets laid bare. A forgotten past. A shattered identity. A terrifying realization… “I’m… I’m an ALIEN!?” ************************* A/N: Read a few chapters please, I beg of you. No joke. I mean, there are jokes and I try to be funny to stay alive but you know what I mean. Just READ. Additional stuff: Possesive characters, we like those… Not sure if it’s harem, let’s wait and see cause even I don’t know what Nova will do. Just try it. I’ll try to blow you… Ehem, I’ll try to blow your mind. You pervert! THANKS.