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Your Mum So Fat Jokes

Yours, Illegally.

Selena thought her life was picture-perfect. Married to her high school sweetheart, Peter, with a quiet, comfortable home and the kind of stability most women dream of. But stability shatters when Peter, the man she trusted most, suggests an open marriage... just to explore things with his secretary. Devastated and emotionally shattered, Selena walks into a nightclub for the first time in nearly a decade. One reckless night. One familiar face. That’s all it takes to set her world spinning. Jack Brooks, her brother’s best friend, the one man who always felt a little too off-limits, is there. Older, bolder, and far more dangerous to her heart than she ever remembered. What begins as an impulsive escape turns into something addictive. Jack becomes her forbidden thrill that grows into something raw, obsessive, and all-consuming. But secrets have a habit of surfacing. And when Peter discovers the truth, the fallout is catastrophic. The marriage implodes. Family bonds rupture. And Selena is left to pick up the pieces alone. She flees to New York, determined to rebuild from scratch. Hardened by betrayal and scarred by the mess she left behind, Selena shuts down the part of herself that once craved love. Now, she plays by her own rules; a seductive, ruthless, and untouchable woman with no attachments and apologies. After years of struggles, success, and power come in her way, but emotional detachment has a price, and Selena doesn’t realize how much of herself she’s lost until she sees Jack again. And suddenly, the walls she built start to crack, because it was never guilt that haunted her... it was love. But is love enough now? Can Jack forgive the woman Selena has become? Can he accept her, flaws and all? Or has too much been broken to ever put back together?
sofyaleblanc · 14.3K Views

The System Thinks I'm a Joke (But I'll Take OP)

Kai's life sucks. Born with meridians like a cracked teacup, he can't hold Qi and is the laughingstock of his cultivation clan. After his jealous "best friend" frames him and has him dumped in a monster-infested forest to die, Kai hits rock bottom – bruised, broken, and literally beast-chow. Enter the System. Just when Kai curses his fate, a shimmering blue screen pops up: "The Absolute Bullshit Cultivator System Activated!" Its name is ridiculous, its attitude sarcastic ("Peak Level Trash" status, really?), but its gifts? Instant. A healing elixir patches him up. A movement technique downloads straight into his brain. Powerful pills flood his dantian with more Qi than he's ever felt. Suddenly OP? Kinda. Kai isn't a god... yet. But dodging a charging Razorback Boar with impossible, lightning-crab speed? Check. Leading spirit beasts on frustrating chases while laughing like a maniac? Check. This "bullshit" system just turned the world's biggest loser into its luckiest cheat code. His mission now? Survive the woods. Get stronger. Unlock more absurd system perks. And absolutely wreck the faces of everyone who threw him away. With a sarcastic AI in his head and the universe's cheat codes at his fingertips, Kai's path to becoming stupidly overpowered begins with one simple step: running away really, really fast. And maybe embracing the absolute bullshit. The path to OP starts here. Get ready for face-slapping, fast progression, and a system that thinks it's hilarious.
Malevolentnick · 10.5K Views
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