Roman Dick Jokes

En ouvrant les yeux, elle devient la fille aînée du Grand Général du Royaume de Liuyin. Elle est la fille moderne qui a été transposée dans un monde qui ne respecte que les forts. Martyrisée par ses cousins... Fiançailles rompues... Tout cela ne lui importe peu. Sa devise s'inspire de l'un de ses animes favoris, Hyouka : "Si je n'ai pas besoin de le faire, je ne le ferai pas. Si je dois le faire, je ferai vite." "Tu es déjà dans les bras de ce Seigneur. Oses-tu t'enfuir ?" Un Seigneur la menace. "Tu penses que j'ai peur de toi ? Continue de rêver." Elle lui répond. Elle veut juste une vie paisible, mais le pourra-t-elle ? Note de l'auteur : - L'image de couverture de ce roman est créditée à son créateur. Je l'ai juste retouchée -Veuillez également consulter mon autre roman : Reborn: Space Intelligent Woman

``` La culture dual n'est pas un choix ; c'est une nécessité. Après avoir été percuté par un camion comme la plupart des protagonistes chanceux (ou malchanceux), Vaan s'est retrouvé transmigré dans le corps d'un orphelin dans le monde des sorcières et des démons. Cependant, ils n'ont pas toujours existé. Les démons terrorisent le monde depuis que le Royaume de la Gehenne est descendu il y a plus de 300 ans. Mais avec eux est venu le mana, donnant naissance aux sorcières pour combattre ces démons. Depuis, le monde des hommes était dominé par les sorcières, établissant les sept royaumes de sorcières, qui protègent en première ligne de l'invasion des démons. Pour survivre dans la société matriarcale des royaumes des sorcières, Vaan, comme tous les autres hommes qui ne peuvent pas utiliser la magie, a dû apprendre à servir les sorcières pour survivre. Néanmoins, cela n'est pas venu sans ses propres avantages. Des années de recherche ont amené le monde à découvrir que l'intimité entre hommes et femmes pouvait augmenter l'absorption de mana des sorcières. Mais en même temps, les hommes pouvaient absorber une partie de ce mana pour améliorer leur physique et leur durée de vie. Ainsi, depuis, une relation complexe s'est formée entre les hommes et les sorcières dans les quartiers rouges. L'amour est devenu décontracté, et la culture dual est courante. En tant que prodige dans l'art de plaire aux femmes, Vaan a vécu paisiblement deux années depuis sa transmigration en tant qu'orphelin. Cependant, tout s'est écroulé en un instant un jour où sa vie a failli être prise et Madame Eniwse, qu'il servait, est entrée en furie. Mais cela n'était pas la fin. Avec l'éveil du Système de Chasseur de Sorcières, regardez comment Vaan prend le dessus sur le monde et devient le seigneur des sorcières. ===== Genre : [Contenu Mature] [R-18] [Smut] [Magie] [Sorcières] [Démons] [Esprits] [Dragons] [Bêtes] [Réincarnation] [Aventure] [Action] [Mystère] [Académie] [Faible-à-Fort] [MC Machiavélique] [Harem] [Système] [Serviteurs] [Esclaves] [MC Intelligent] [Alchimie] [Forge] [Malentendus] [Éléments de Jeu] [Construction de Royaume] [MC Surpuissant] ===== Note : Contient des lemons. Chasser les sorcières n'implique pas nécessairement de les tuer, si vous voyez ce que je veux dire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ===== N'hésitez pas à rejoindre le discord pour discuter du roman ou pour obtenir le rôle de mise à jour du roman pour être notifié dès que de nouveaux chapitres sont publiés avec le lien ci-dessous ; https://discord.gg/9SUWMPZ ===== Mes autres romans ; Premier roman : Originateur Premier (Univers Partagé) Second roman : Je suis un patron notoire dans le monde alternatif (Univers Partagé) ===== ```

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

Johann von Hohenfeld was a man of the modern world, brilliant, ambitious, and obsessed with history. But his life ended in a flash of metal and fire, a car accident that sent him plunging into darkness. Only, death was not the end. He awakens in the Swiss Alps, 11th century, as the sixteen-year-old son of a struggling noble house. The Holy Roman Empire looms over the land, and war is never far away. Armed with his knowledge of the future—and a ruthless determination—Johann refuses to accept his fate as a forgotten second son. He will not serve. He will not kneel. He will carve out his own kingdom, no matter how much blood must be spilled.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can.

A book about Austria’s recovery to mightiness!!! A history about House of Habsburg’s struggles and successes!!! The Holy Roman Empire — which was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire — now came back!!!

Menjadi cacat di dalam kawanan sudah cukup buruk. Ditolak? Oleh pasangan sejatimu sendiri? Ya. ITU adalah tingkat rendah yang baru. Ava Grey adalah cacat dalam kawanan, seorang shifter tanpa serigala. Dia berjuang dalam hidup dengan impian kebebasan yang samar. Kesempatannya datang ketika tiba-tiba dia diberi tahu bahwa dia akan menghadiri Gala Bulan, sebuah pesta dansa tahunan untuk shifters muda dewasa untuk menemukan pasangan sejati mereka. Dan dia menemukannya. Dia tampan dan intens, dan ciumannya mengirimkan keinginan melalui pembuluh darahnya seperti narkoba. Hingga dia MENOLAKnya. Ava tidak akan kembali ke kehidupan suramnya. Dia melarikan diri dan membentuk identitas baru jauh dari kawanan, dan jauh dari pasangan alpha nya. Dia berteman baru dan bahkan diadopsi secara paksa oleh seekor husky yang lucu. Tapi tepat ketika dia mulai menetap dan menemukan kebahagiaan, hal-hal aneh mulai terjadi... Husky-nya telah menyimpan rahasia. Dia mendengar bisikan bahwa kawanan shifter di mana-mana sedang mencarinya. Dan dia dapat mencium aroma familiar di apartemennya, yang tidak masuk akal sama sekali... karena pria yang aromanya itu telah menolaknya. [Entri Cupids Quill Mar 2024] --------- Ini adalah roman shifter serigala dengan banyak pemicu yang suka berdansa beriringan dengan semua tema gelap melalui sebuah padang bunga mati. Dalam buku ini Anda akan menemukan titik tertinggi dan terendah. Tertawa, menangis, marah; Anda dapat melakukannya semua saat Anda mengikuti Ava dalam perjalanan yang cukup berbahaya menjadi pemindah serigala di generasi ini dari roman werewolf. Ada adegan R18 yang disebarkan di seluruh buku ini seperti permen yang meledak dari pinata. Silakan baca dengan tanggung jawab. ------- DISCORD PENULIS: https://discord.com/invite/ApNZDux8kj

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!! ——— ——— ——— Read My Review Gib Money - ko-fi.com/khyaal Join My Discord For Reference Arts and much more - https://discord.gg/zmUcswM2N5

Follow the story and rise of a warrior from a family that once ruled the mighty Roman Empire, but after centuries now on another continent, he needs to establish himself as the man who will unify what the Western Romans created in the New World. Augustus Theodosius Maximus will face great enemies such as the frenchs, english, spanish and even the prussians.This alternative history takes place in the 18th century and 19th century , in which what would be the current United States, Mexico, Canada and Cuba, would be the Caesarian Empire that lasted from 486 to 1648, when the province of New Rome was taken by the Dutch and a few years later sold to the English and establishing territories in the former Caesarian provinces, leaving only a few Caesarian states made of buffer states such as the Grand Duchy of New Ravenna (state of Florida in real life), the Serene Republic of Londinium (state of Alabama in real life) and the Praetorian Confederacy (state of Tennessee in real life).So expect a series of upheavals, coups d'état and revolutions in the Caesarean provinces lost to the Europeans, as the period of reunification will last from 1772 until 1815.

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

well i guess this is it ... wait why wont this world let me die ? is this some kind of joke ?

"When fate brings together 23year-old Julienne Jenkins, a fierce, beautiful, and ambitious young lady, and a billionaire Roman Thompson 28 year old, a notorious, ruthless, and handsome CEO, their lives are forever changed. After A marriage of convenience sparks a whirlwind of emotions, secrets, and lies. Behind Roman's confident façade lies a dark past, one that has earned him the reputation as a woman-hater. His status as the "King of the Business World" has been built on his cunning, smart and ruthless tactics, but Julie's presence threatens to disrupt his carefully constructed empire. As Julie navigates her new reality and new identity, she must confront the darkness of her past and the uncertainty of her future. Will she be able to tame the heart of the king, or will Roman's secrets and lies tear them apart? Dive into the world of "Roman and Julienne's heart desire" to uncover a tale of love, heartbreak, and the true cost of secrets."

``` Une invasion sans pareille. Des dragons détruisant tout sur leur passage. Un nouveau monde émergeant des cendres. Blake a tout vécu avant de mourir, mais à présent, il était de retour, revenu avant que tout cela ne se produise. Un lieu étrange avec une fille étrange... Blake n'avait aucune idée de comment cela s'était produit, mais soudain, il avait pour petite amie une des ennemies de l'humanité, une fille dragon. --Infos Supplémentaires-- L'étiquette Yuri concerne ses épouses. Toutes les personnes dans le harem s'aimeront mutuellement. Étiquette supplémentaire : PAS DE NTR Mise à jour 2x par jour **Objectifs de Chapitres Quotidiens Plus Élevés*** Pour 4 chapitres par jour, le roman doit rester dans le top 150 des Pierres de Pouvoir. Pour 6 chapitres par jour, le roman doit rester dans le top 20 des Pierres de Pouvoir. Pour 8 chapitres par jour, le roman doit rester dans le top 5 des Pierres de Pouvoir. Pour 1 chapitre supplémentaire par jour en plus des chapitres quotidiens actuels, le roman doit atteindre le top 10 des tickets dorés. ***Chapitres Cadeaux Super!*** Château Magique = 1 chapitre supplémentaire Vaisseau Spatial = 2 chapitres supplémentaires Golden Gachapon = 3 chapitres supplémentaires ***Objectifs de Votes!**** Pierres de Pouvoir : Tous les 1000 votes = 1 chapitre supplémentaire par semaine. Ticket doré : Pour chaque mois où nous restons dans le top 15, je ferai 1 chapitre bonus par mois. Pour chaque mois où nous restons dans le top 10, je ferai 3 chapitres bonus par mois. Pour chaque mois où nous restons dans le top 5, je ferai 6 chapitres bonus par mois. Rejoignez mon Discord ! https://discord.gg/79yyJSD Montrez votre soutien et achetez-moi un café ou rejoignez pat-reon ! https://ko-fi.com/invayne https://www.pat-reon.com/invayne (enlevez le ‘-’ dans l'adresse. Webnovel censure le mot pat-reon) Suivez sur Twitter : https://twitter.com/AuthorInvayne Suivez sur Instagram https://www.instagram.com/invayne/ ```

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if your dick exploded? Or if voodoo or black magic actually worked? Axel got a crash course in both after leaving a one-star review for a trashy smut novel where the hapless author-san offed a minor villain. Little did he know that this particular author had some serious power. Suddenly, Axel found himself in the body of the very villain he was lamenting, right at the moment when everything was about to spiral into chaos. Now, with a second chance at life (and a brand-new set of problems), Axel must navigate the wild world of villainy—complete with explosive consequences and dark magic—if he wants to rewrite his story before it ends in disaster.

I think I have an obsession for rabbits, fussy tailed, always curious, never stopping running all over the place, rabbits… Then one day as a joke, I decided to call my partner, for life, Bunny Barlow….. Him, calling me Bunny Rose…. Mrs Bunny Rose Barlow…..

Une guerre entre les plus grands se prépare à l'est de ce monde fantastique ! Les conséquences se font ressentir dans le monde entier, même dans les profondeurs sauvages des terres inexplorées. Noctis va découvrir tout cela, mais également vivre avec un pouvoir bien mystérieux... - Serveur du roman : https://discord.gg/D5z9xsRE

There was a special patient in Spruce Hospital. A person in vegetative state and coma that the tree doctor, So Lee-yeon, has been hiding for two years… ‘Don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up.’ It was her dream to live quietly so she prayed every night. Then one day, by pure miracle or failure, the person in vegetative state woke up! “Did you come to suck this poor bastard’s dick?” In front of the man that lost his memory and common sense, she told a lie that couldn’t be turned as she was afraid of his murderous instinct. “I’m your w-wife, Kwon Chae-woo.” The man who buried someone alive and tried to kill her two years ago!

**"When a cosmic glitch turns a biryani-loving teen into the god of a broken universe, he’ll need more than divine powers to survive his own creations—including a goddess who hates him, sentient pasta, and a black hole that runs on dad jokes."**

The once-mighty Holy Empire is crumbling. Internal strife fueled by religious and cultural divides tears at its foundations, while neighboring kingdoms simmer with the threat of rebellion. The noble houses engage in relentless struggles for dominance, and the Emperor, desperate to maintain control, clings to what little authority he has left. Caught in the middle of this chaos is Arnold von Hohenfels, heir to the Margrave of Hohenfels, who is unwillingly sent to the Imperial Academy—a ruthless arena where the Empire’s ambitious youth sharpen both their minds and their blades. Gifted with a power that brings both opportunity and peril, Arnold must master the treacherous game of noble intrigue. Representing House Hohenfels, he is forced to navigate dangerous rivalries, forge uneasy alliances, and keep his reckless cousin Friedrich from making enemies of the wrong people. If he had a choice, he’d be anywhere else.

Drake was a troublemaker with a knack for bad jokes. One of them got him killed. Now, he finds himself in Atheria, a world of magic, mythical creatures, and warring Gods. Equipped with the mysterious System of Chaos—a game-like interface that grants him skills, stats, and quests—Drake must learn to survive in this dangerous new reality. But his arrival hasn't gone unnoticed. The Gods, offended by his irreverent attitude and fearful of his unique system, have marked him for death. To live peacefully (and maybe get some payback), Drake will have to embrace his chaotic nature, master his newfound powers, and challenge the very beings who rule Atheria.

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

The God of war is having a laugh,as to the phoenix,he doesn't know he messed with the wrong mortal.Death is only a boundary,once overcomed it holds nothing.Follow as Roman sets his eyes on revenge.He is reincarnated by The God of Wisdom to defeat the former Notorious phoenix and Ares the God of war who she cannot defeat as she if forbidden by the 3 mythical gods.The phoenix who now rules as king shall be slayed he sleeps every day with this mantra.Follow him on his journey of death and carnage to slaughter the God of war Ares and the Strongest divine mortal,the notorious phoenix.As he always says,revenge is a dish best served cold.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

Victor war ein normaler 21-jähriger Mann, er wuchs in einer liebevollen Familie auf, die ihm half, für sich selbst zu sorgen, obwohl er wusste, dass er eine praktisch unheilbare Krankheit hatte, das RH-Null-Blut, er war der Besitzer einer seltenen Blutgruppe... Aber was Victor nicht wusste, war, dass diese Blutgruppe eine Delikatesse in der übernatürlichen Welt war, Kreaturen, die sich von Blut ernährten, liebten seine Blutgruppe... Und dieses Blut, das er hasste, würde der Faktor sein, der Victor zum größten Vampir aller Zeiten machen würde. ........................... [A/N: Das Cover ist von mir, es ist das Original] Dieser Roman wird bearbeitet von: IsUnavailable, und Davo 2138. Wenn ihr mich unterstützen wollt, damit ich Künstler bezahlen kann, die die Charaktere in meinem Roman illustrieren, besucht mein Patreon: patreon.com/VictorWeismann Weitere Charakterbilder in: https://discord.gg/4FETZAf

The Professor, a renowned expert in ancient civilizations and historical wars, is on the brink of one of the most challenging moments of his life. At 60 years old, he receives the devastating news that he has only three months to live due to a terminal illness. Just when he believed his journey was coming to an end, a mysterious stranger appears with a proposal that defies all laws of time and reason: to travel to the past and anticipate the advancements that shaped humanity, all to prevent a future catastrophe caused by an alien civilization. Between disbelief and hope, the Professor finds himself torn between spending his final days with his family and embracing the possibility of becoming the key to humanity’s survival. In a plot that combines science, history, and existential dilemmas, he will need to decide if he is willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good.

In the year 3147 the Roman Imperium had finally achieved its goal of colonizing its own corner of the galaxy. Unlike in our own world the Rome of this one never fell, but instead grew to encompass the whole of the earth, and overtime spread itself, and humanity, among the stars. Yet even with the marvelous advancements in technology, healthcare, welfare, and every other category required for a thriving society. There is still one roman tradition that refuses to die. GLADIATORS!! And we should all be glad for it, because during the year 3149, just two years after the long and exhausting colonization campaigns were ended, mankind learned that it was not alone in the galaxy, let alone the universe. It had just stepped onto a much bigger stage where entire planets and even star systems were used as bargaining chips in universal gladiator games. Wars on a galactic scale are far too destructive to simply be allowed, if left unchecked the vast majority of life in the universe would cease to be. Therefore each race recognized by the galactic or universal council (it changes depending on the scale of the race itself) must submit champions or gladiators to represent them in the games. The winners gain unfathomable rewards, the losers perish or worse have their entire species enslaved. Please join our hero as he embarks upon his own perilous journey as a lanista, will he rise above the masses, or fall like so many others before him? Or perhaps his own latent gifts may bring him to a height, or depth hitherto unexplored by any before.

Linalia Fronme est une jeune femme qui après la mort de ses parents se fera maltraiter et battre par sa belle famille et son époux,ne supportant plus cette vie,elle décidera de mettre fin à ses jours .A sa plus grande surprise ,elle ne mourra pas et se retrouvera réincarné dans le roman que sa mère lui a offert avant sa mort ,dans le corps de Louyhoze oslio ven Revenjer,la principale antagoniste.

Yan fan was a young boy who was transmitted in the body of yan chi, who was a useless young master of the yan family in the demonic sect, his dick was cripple since, his adulthood, but on the day of his revival he received a system which let him regain energy in his dick, but at what cost ?, in his family there was beautiful mother, and sister, and his evil father. he even had his childhood friend who is unparalleled beauty in the demonic sect. (Don't Read if You Don't Like) , (it's all about perspective, Ntr/Netori are two sides of one coin.) #NTR, #NETORARE,..... (If you want to support)(btw, i know you won't) ETH/BSC Address: 0x595A0f35FE52ef84632F4984E41d2AB211cf0746

A young omega who's constantly abused and tortured by her tyrant of a father and her half siblings tries to run away from them only to be captured by her father's sworn enemy. Roman, alpha of the dark moon pack. Five years ago Roman's family was ruthlessly killed by the hands of Michael, Aurora's father. Now grief stricken and burning with rage, Roman hungers for blood and will not rest until he avenges the death of his family by killing each and every member of Aurora's family, including her as well.