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How Can I Self Suck

How Am I Still Alive?

Spiritual Qi Resurgence, Gods descending? Continuous disasters, all living beings suffering? What does it have to do with me? I'm just a patient with an incurable disease, who's been given up on treatment and has a countdown to death. Embarking on the path of exorcising demons and annihilating immortals with my crippled body is not for the sake of protecting my family and country, but because the hazardous duty pay is too tempting, especially the compensation... "This Evil Gods profession system is cursed, even if there's smooth progress in the early stages, the practitioners will eventually commit suicide..." "Give me a set." "This Demon Sword poisons its user and has already taken ninety-nine lives..." "Give me two, and also that man-eating demonic helmet, soul-devouring blood claws, get me a set." "This Magic Potion is harmful to heaven and earth..." "Enough talk, I'll take them all!" However, the problem is, why am I still alive after taking on all these high-risk missions, stepping on every risk, and doing every deadly task? 【Congratulations, congratulations! Ranked first among the Top Ten Heroes Who Moved the World...】 "...Heavens, wasn't the average life expectancy in this line of work three and a half years? I've been here for one cycle of three years after another, I'm almost an S-level hunter, the first of the top ten heroes! Why am I still alive? I just want to make an honor sacrifice, scam some compensation! Is that so hard?!"
Persimmon Whale · 528.5K Views

I Can Extract Game Items

August Clementine was once Reacher, a wealthy and thrill-seeking businessman who had everything but satisfaction in life. After a fatal adventure, Reacher awakens on a parallel Earth, in the body of the destitute and troubled 19-year-old August Clementine. With his new identity, August finds himself burdened with debt and responsible for his beloved younger sister, Sophia. Desperate to change their fate, August immerses himself in Enders Light, a cutting-edge VRMMORPG that blurs the line between virtual and reality. In this fantastical game world, players can bring specific items that meet certain requirements into the real world and even gain a fraction of their in-game abilities and strength. Stuck at level 12 and unable to progress past his starting village due to a rare armor shortage, August must rely on his wits and determination. A breakthrough comes when he retrieves a mystical purification stone from a river teeming with magical aqua beasts and uses it to cleanse an ancient, corrupted altar. His reward includes the legendary Fruit of Corruption, a priceless item with the potential to grant supernatural abilities in the real world. Caught between the allure of selling the fruit for financial security and the temptation of gaining extraordinary powers, August must make a choice that will define his and Sophia’s future... "What? I gained the ability to extract any item from the game into the real world without restrictions?"
Decrepit_bastard · 962K Views

self-references engine

PROLOGUE: WRITING A SET OF all possible character strings. All possible books would be contained in that. Most unfortunately though, there is no guarantee whatsoever you would be able to find within it the book you were hoping for. It could be you might find a string of characters saying, “This is the book you were hoping for.” Like right here, now. But of course, that is not the book you were hoping for. I haven’t seen her since then. I think she’s most likely dead. After all, it has been hundreds of years. But then again, I also think this. Noticing her as she gazes intently into the mirror, the room in disarray; it is clear that centuries have flowed by, or some such. And she, perhaps, has finished applying her makeup, and she is getting up and is going out to look for me. Her eyes show no sign of taking in the fact that the house has been completely changed, destroyed around her. The change was gradual, continuing, and even long ago she was not very good at things like that. As far as she is concerned, that is not the sort of thing one has to pay attention to. Not that she is aware, but it seems so obvious, she doesn’t need to care about it. Have we drowned, are we about to drown, are we already finished drowning, are we not yet drowning? We are in one of those situations. Ofcourse, it could be that we will never drown. But think about it. I mean, even fish can drown. I remember her saying meanly, “If that’s the case, you must be the one from the past.” It is true of course. Everybody comes out of the past; it’s not that I’m some guy who comes from some particular past. Even when that is pointed out, though, she shows no sign of backing down. “It’s not as if I came out of some bizarro past,” she said. That’s how she and I met. Writing it down this way, it doesn’t seem like anything at all is about to happen, right? Between her and me, I mean. As if something could ever really happen. As if something continues to happen that might ever make something else happen. I am repeating myself, but I haven’t seen her since then. She promised me, with a sweet smile, that I would never see her again. For the short time we were together, we tried to talk about things that really meant something to us. Around that time there were a lot of things that were all mixed up, and it was not easy to sort out what was really real. There might be a pebble over there, and when you took your eyes off it it turned into a frog, and when you took your eyes off it again it turned into a horsefly. The horsefly that used to be a frog remembered it used to be a frog and stuck out its tongue to try to eat a fly, and then remembered it used to be a pebble and stopped and crashed to the ground. With all this going on, it’s really important to know what’s really real and what’s not. “Once upon a time, somewhere, there lived a boy and a girl.” “Once upon a time, somewhere, there lived boys and girls.” “Once upon a time, somewhere, there lived no boy and no girl.” “Once upon a time…lived.” “Lived.” “Once upon a time.” From beginning to end, we carried on this back-and-forth process. For example, in this dialogue, we were somehow finally mutually able to comeup with this kind of compromise statement: “Once upon a time, somewhere, there lived a boy and a girl. There may have been lots of boys, and there may have been lots of girls. There may have been no boys at all, and there may have been no girls at all. There may even have been no one at all. At any rate there is little chance there were equal numbers of each. That is unless there had never been anybody at all anyway.” That was our first meeting, she and I, and of course it meant we would never see each other again. I was making my way in the direction she had come from, and she was headed in the direction I had come from, and this is a somewhat important point; you must realize this walking had to be,
author_3 · 3K Views

how can I escape from them?

Synopsis: In a world where supernatural powers and awakened abilities reign supreme, an extraordinarily handsome but unawakened young man is granted a lifeline in the form of a mysterious life simulation system. Haunted by a traumatic past where an obsessive ex-girlfriend ended his life, he now avoids women like the plague. His only solace is the sentient, teasing, and ever-helpful system that becomes his brother-in-arms. Through the system, he can live out countless simulated lives in fantastical worlds populated by dragons, elves, demons, spirits, and other mystical beings. In each life, he takes on different species and gains random traits and abilities—but always retains his dangerously attractive appearance. However, there’s one constant across every simulation: he attracts obsessive yandere women, each more psychopathic and powerful than the last, determined to keep him forever. What begins as simulated survival soon turns into a nightmare when the yandere women discover a way to cross into his real world. Believing he was free from their grasp, the MC is now forced into a relentless game of hide-and-seek with no room for error. With the system’s help, he must use every ounce of wit, cunning, and survival instinct to stay one step ahead of these dangerous pursuers. As different yandere figures form alliances and rivalries, the MC navigates a high-stakes chase across worlds and dimensions. Can he break free from the yandere cycle, or will he be forever trapped in their obsessive clutches? Escape the Yandere Simulation is a darkly comedic, suspenseful adventure that blends supernatural survival, unpredictable romance, and the ultimate test of escape artistry.
what_a_bitch1 · 2.5K Views
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