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Cringe Humour

Sword in Stone

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?
CalyB · 133.5K Views

ABSOLUTE INSANITY: A forbidden bond

★DARK ROMANCE★ ^WARNING 18+^ ~NO RAPE~ In a world dominated by organized crime and ruthless power struggles, a tangled web of trauma, revenge, and forbidden passion unfolds. Katya Volkov, the stunning but vulnerable daughter of the Russian Mafia's feared right-hand man, has endured a childhood of unrelenting brutality and neglect. Growing up, Katya was repeatedly tormented by her father's resentment, leaving her emotionally shattered and unloved. However, Katya's life was about to take a much darker turn. Romeo Salvatore, a name that was both feared and respected, emerged from the shadows. His traumatic past has left an indelible mark on his soul, rendering him cold and detached. Seeking retribution, Romeo launches a daring invasion of the Volkov's heavily guarded estate. He captures both Katya and her abusive father, subjecting them to merciless torture. Convinced of Katya's complicity in her father's heinous crimes, Romeo executes her father and condemns Katya to a life of hellish slavery. Yet, as time passes, the boundaries between captor and captive begin to blur. Katya and Romeo find themselves inexorably drawn into a forbidden bond, igniting a fiery passion that threatens to consume them both. Torn between his thirst for revenge and his burgeoning desire for Katya, Romeo is forced to confront the darkness within himself, would he be consumed by lust, passion and possibly love or would he stay loyal with his beliefs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~This story is an enemies to lover type so don't expect all fluff and rainbows. ~Weak to strong female ~ML is ruthless, don't expect him to be a saint. ~No rape ~humours, laugher, tears and blush. ~ And lastly, this story is not for the weak hearted~
Saa_Mohd · 47.8K Views

Marry me Elara (by minutes story)

she can be anything, a daughter, a mother, but not a wife.... _______________ _______________ "marriage is not for me....... I am not the girl who have her parants back, I am not that female who do make up, wear high heels, set her hairs in beautiful shiny flowers rings. I am not the girl who can make you smile Sebastian....." said Elara as she look into his eyes, deep, for the first time, "you need to understand this Sebastian........ you are a prince, who lives in palace with your rich and healthy parants not like me, who's father come home once in a year, who's mother is in wheelchair..... we can't be happy together..... I will only gives you pain." ********* ********* Sebastian look into her eyes, and smiled. the smiled which no one had seen before, the smile which he didn't even show when he graduated from military, the smile which he never made when he was with his parants, the smile which he had forget how to make.... but today, even Elara's words were about the harsh reality, even she was saying something he can never imagine to be true he was smiling, like an idiot. he pull her close and hug her. Elara's eyes widin in the sudden surprising action from him. she had never expected him to do that, but as he burry his face in the crock of her neck, and the way he had cling into her, she realized that he don't care about anything, he don't mind these things it all. for him, he just wants her, and her only. "I am selfish Elara" he whisper, his voice muffled against her soft neck. ********** ********** "I can't live without you....." he finally said, finally those words which he had never imagined will say to anyone. She have changed him, she have changed him so much that the words which he used to feel are cringe is now coming from his own mouth. "I can't live without you..... you have teach me how to live Elara, you have give me the life which I had never imagined will look this peacefull..... I don't want to go back again, I don't want to go back to my cruel, selfless, darkest life again.... I want you, I want my light." ______________________________ ______________________________ he can be anything. A son, a prince, but not an husband...... ************************************* (now author here) this is the simple, romantic, revenge and marriage for benefits type of story, oh god! I am already spling the tea already...... anyways..... so if you are interested on dark romance, and on the type of characters which is the book cover then it's just for you, read it, enjoy it, but I warn you FIRST. *****" ATTENTION WARNING HERE!!! this story have so meny disturbing, and violent chapter ahead so if you want to keep your heart beat steady normal, then stay away from this. WARNING OVER ******** Now, first of all, I am an new author here, especially in this app. and I don't know how to engage more viewers or, make my story more popular among all the author great, artist and authors here. and if I try to do something I always end up seeing book here with 1000+ chapter. no seriously who writes 1000,4444+ chapters, and how they get that much time? don't they have any other stories to make? don't they have family or siblings? why they are making that long stories? I am new here I don't know about it. mine won't go that long but seriously? what are these authors doing here? and I am simple words person, I don't put that much difficult words on my story, which I even can't pronounce. but they....... these authors put words like they are from another world, and that long chapter, I think I will still be reading in my grave after my death if I wants to see the end. i need help of an authors or maybe a editor to know how this app work cuz I am new here. so if you are a author or a editor then please connect with me so we both can improve in our work.
minutestory · 11K Views

Reincarnated As A Mosquito

Get ready to swat away tears of laughter and brace yourself for the most buzzworthy adventure of the century! Meet Ben Franklin, the world's foremost expert in attracting bad luck and the unlikeliest hero you'll ever encounter. From stumbling over his own shoelaces to triggering fire alarms with a single glance, Ben's life is a never-ending comedy of errors. And if you thought his luck would change in the afterlife, think again! Even the god of opportunity couldn't resist the magnetic pull of Ben's bad luck charms. Just as Ben was about to embark on a new adventure in the great beyond, fate took a hilarious twist. A glitch in the universe turned him into a mutant mosquito, reincarnated along with the very reincarnation system itself! Now that's what you call a bug in the matrix! The absence of a reincarnation system in the universe has resulted in a cosmic crisis. With dead souls wandering aimlessly and lifeless babies popping out like deflated balloons, it's up to our unlikely hero to solve the mystery and save the day! Now armed with six legs, buzzing wings, and an insatiable thirst for adventure (and, let's not forget, blood), the legend of Ben Franklin, the most unlikely hero in the insect kingdom, began. With his quirky sense of humour and insatiable thirst for justice, he embarked on a hilarious and unconventional quest to save the universe, leaving behind a trail of itchy mosquito bites and bacterial infections in his wake.
Xero_5825 · 1.1M Views

Dual Class [Stubbed]

What is a city boy to do when he wakes up in a white room with nothing and no one in it? All that greets him is a blue screen flashing with one word. "Welcome" In this story of wise cracks and wide spread murdering, Drake is forced to face old traumas and find his way in the new world of a merged planet forced by the system. He will find enemies and allies aplenty. Even some he would have never expected. His decisions will shape the future of his planet and journey in this new wild landscape that the system has brought. With God and Anime on his side- Oh and some spotty game knowledge- he must forge his own path. But first. He needs to get through this damned tutorial in one piece, and figure out how his damned spell works. New Chapters are posted Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 6 PM EST. -------- Cover Art is done by my wonderful friend Caneera you can find her at https://caneera.carrd.co/ for all types of commissions. This is a story I've decided to write because my endless fantasies of chuunibyou like proportions could not stay in my head any longer. I've just wanted to make a story I can make some cringe jokes in and this is the result. I really do hope people will enjoy it as I really do enjoy writing it, and will keep writing it. If you can catch some of the references I would love to hear it. Love and Peace! Just not in this story. If you would like to read ahead, you can find my patreon at the end of any of the chapters! At patreon com/Arthur_Inverse You can also find the story on scribblehub and RoyalRoad if you wish, it will stay as up-to-date as webnovel. I would like to also mention that, this is essentially unedited work for now. More edited versions are on scribblehub. Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jJw54jd2GX
Arthur_Inverse · 602.2K Views

Love Detector

In this dark stereotypical world full of hypocrites, there is a 90-95% chance you've already encountered a psychopath when you go out of a crowd in the streets. 60-70% chance you've talked to a psychopath, and 30-40% chance you know a psychopath. Of course, these are just my beliefs... I would like to think of it like this, since... Everyone is a psychopath in their own different ways Even me. Some may think it's disturbing, some may feel it's exciting and interesting, and some would remain neutral and nonchalant about it, thinking it's just some nonsense belief of mine. Honestly, they're right... The neutral ones, I mean. It's just a nonsense belief of mine... But I don't care. It helps me with my job. I'd be able to think rationally. What will a psychopath do? If I was in his position and I'm a psychopath, what would I do? Where would I hide? What would I feel? Using these questions, it allows me to think in their position. It allows me to adapt. Allows me to be me. A psychopath. ———————————————————— THIS IS BL—yaoi(sex involved of course) I know this sounds like some thriller novel, prolly cus it really is and I was planning to make it one, until I realized I can't make some serious shit novel without it being sexual, and romantic… And also this is just a draft, a practice one. This was supposed to be the alternative version of MAMH becuz my sister hates “reborn bullshit” but it instead became a whole new novel. This was a draft long time ago, and because I'm coming out my rut of being a lazy bich with author's block, I will use webnovel once again to practice writing. THIS TIME THOUGH, I WILL NOT DROP IT!!(not like I dropped the others, I just paused and took a hiatus cuz of author's block or becuz I became too conscious) ALSO this is supposed to be cringe cuz I was originally gonna post it on Wattpad, but then I remember I wouldn't be able to go full on bang bang explicit detail on my "scenes" if I were to upload there. I'm using Google doc and myself for any grammatical errors, I tend to get confuse with the pronouns sometimes btw and past and future shit tenses... Anyway, I'm just not really "fluent" fluent at it
Eiror0 · 816 Views

A BETRAYED SOUL

She was killed because she trusted. Life gave her another chance to live to find that person. Hello, here's the synopsis: Maya was betrayed by her trusted one and was burnt alive! But life gave her another chance to live and find the culprit and the person who betrayed her... But there was a twist, her soul entered into another body and now she has to achieve all her goals by being Raina Mittal! Raina whose life was no better than an orphan. A girl who was abandoned by her family and her own husband who got caught by Raina with his mistress!! Now, Maya was having two goals. First: To find the culprit. Second: To get justice on the behalf of Raina. But as she started living in Raina's body, many problems occured in her way and due to one mistake she fell in the world of the DEVIL himself... ABHINAV THAKUR! Who was having some unfinished business with her. What she will do after getting trapped in his world? What was that 'unfinished buisness' between Abhinav and Maya? Will she able to get out from his trap or the devil will get trapped into his own trap? Find the answers of these questions by reading the story 'A BETRAYED SOUL'. ~~**~~ -Strong Female Lead -Strong Male lead (Yet to come) -a ting of twists and turns -Enemies in the mask of friends -a little bit of humour (Hope it will at least make you smile) -Will try to update daily Be a motivator and motivate me by rating the story, writing your views in the comment section and saving the book in your library. O:-)O:-)
SRISHTI_CHOUDHARY · 14.9K Views

I Shall Perverse The Heavens

**Tag:** R-18, Harem-seeking protagonist, Evil protagonist, Perverted protagonist, Handsome male lead, Cruel characters, Special abilities, Eastern and Western settings in a SciFi world, unhinged comedy, tragedy, slightly above average intelligent characters and plot twist. Synopsis: Zachary "Zach" Walters is the ultimate nerd: 22 years old, perpetually unemployed, and perfectly content to spend his days locked in his room, devouring fantasy novels. Living off rent from a shop his late parents left him, Zach believes the world outside is overrated, especially when he has his trusty laptop and an endless supply of energy drinks. But after spending weeks reading Chronicles of the Archmage: Arkanis Ascends, Zach hits his limit. The novel's ending—was shit, the power of friendship nonsense—pushes him into a full-blown rant. He tears into the author with an unhinged, scathing comment in the forums, mocking the novel, the villain's pathetic defeat, and even the author's "beady eyes" for writing something so cringe-worthy even saying he who isn't a author can write better. "You think you're better than me as an author? Better than my protagonist? Let's see how you fare in my world." Suddenly such text appeared. Before he can reply, Zach is yanked into the very fantasy universe he mocked, reincarnated as a disgraced prince banished from his kingdom for sleeping with the king’s concubine. Stripped of his royal status but not his charm, Zach quickly realizes that fighting villains or becoming a hero is overrated. Instead, he decides to focus on the finer things in life: building a perverted waifus harem and indulging in every smutty fantasy he’s ever dreamed of. But in a world of cunning regressors, overpowered plot armour characters, arch mages and scheming nobles, Zach's carefree antics might just land him in hot water—or worse, dead. Can this trash-talking keyboard warrior survive his own delusions, or will he end up as another failed side character in someone else’s story? When fantasy meets debauchery, chaos is sure to follow.
Daoistf7YZbm · 4.1K Views
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