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Floor Puns

ISTRI MUDA SANG CEO

Malam itu Bahar sang CEO Yaman gelisah sange karena sudah seminggu Istri nya Sarifah Umroh ke tarim dengan hasil usaha kuburan palsu Wali Habib yang menghasilkan pundi-pundi rupiah lewat atm kotak amal. Bahar pun tak kuat menahan sange yang membuat kanjut nya cilegeng akibat meminum ramuan ngaceng habib taufik al yamani. Diam-diam dalam keheningan malam bahar mengocok kanjut nya dengan tangannya sendiri,"seresek-seresek" terdengar suara kocokan kanjut yang di olesi minyak hand body lotion. Semakin lama mengocok,bahar malah merasakan panas dibagian kanjut alias K0nt#l nya dan tangannya mun malah terasa pegal. "Bukannya buceng alias buc4t tapi malah menderita" gerutu bahar dalam hati. "Haduh ana mesti gimana nih ? " pikir bahar. "Oh iya di kamar bawah kan ada si Inem pembantu ana nih" pikir omes bahar. Akhirnya Bahar pun mengendap-endap ke kamar pembantu nya yaitu Inem, dengan perlahan namun tidak pasti karena bisa saja Inem tidak membukakan pintu kamar nya. Tibaa-tibaaaaa terdengar suara.....DUUUUUUT PELEPES SIIIIIIIIT. Bahar pun terkaget setengah hidup, karena dibalik kamar Inem terdengar sesuatu yang mengentutkan..."Waduh suara apa tuh ya di kamar si Inem" pikir bahar. Hemmmm apa mungkin kah suara gas yang keluar dari lubang silit Inem? "Walahualam bishawab dah". kata si Bahar. Bahar pun mulai membuka pintu kamar Inem,"Pintu kamar dulu yee, bukan cangcut loooh". Kata Bahar dalam hati sambil menahan tawa. Oh my god....kata bahar pintu nya di Kunci. Haduuuuuh....bahar pun kecewa berat di tengah kanjut nya yang melegeng membuanya pegel dan linu-linu tipis akibat gesekan dengan sarung tanpa kolor nya. Akhirnya bahar memutuskan untuk mengintip inem dulu dari atas jendela pintu kan ada kaca nya tuh di atas pintu kamar Inem. Baharpun menggeser kursi tinggi yang bulet untuk naik dan mengintip si Inem. Dengan hati-hati dan perlahan, bahar pun naik ke kursi guna mengintip Inem, dengan wajah sange dan lidah yang melet-melet, serta kanjut yang menyundul-nyundul sarung. Bahar pun mulai melancarkan aksi nya yaitu mengintip si Inem. penasaran? lanjut baca bab 1 aja yaa....
Eka_Wahyudin_4250 · 1.2K Views

Stellarum

A phantasm of a metaphor made real, an allegory based upon principles of the dynamics of ontology itself. It leaves behind a barely-real whisper to mark its path. There’s about a million different creation mythos that we can go into, so I'll keep this one simple. Once before a time, there was a long unending quiet. I will not get into the specifics—just know that this quiet was inevitable. It prefigured all and it is what all will come back to in due time. And please, always remember: this is an allegory. *Ahem* anyway: eventually, a whisper, a euphony came into existence. Whether the whisper was the long quiet itself or something else that came out of it is irrelevant currently. Either way, that whisper moved across that unending quiet and ‘pointed’ to a section. It said: "This section will be an infinite world that will extend into an infinite number of dimensions. This will be the physical world" “These infinite dimensions will harbor any and all; this is where the 'simple' will live." Then, it looked to the ‘right’ of the physical world and said: "This will be an ascended plane of existence, mirroring the physical world; this will be a world build upon conscience, objective truths/axioms, and beings beyond simple comprehension" This world resembles a tower. A tower with a beyond infinite amount of floors, each floor sharing its own axioms, and each subsequent floor unequivocally surpassing the previous. These floors will be like fluid, not set in stone. It is known that the whisper said SOMETHING to this beyond infinite tower, but the specifics is not recorded here. Finally, the whisper created a network of strings. These strings exist in ‘the weave’, they connect all living minds and concepts together. T=1 Then the whisper went quiet. For the quiet is all there can and will be. (Updates:) Honestly, it’s hard to say. I’m pretty busy right now since I’m in my senior year of high school. I’m also a perfectionist, so each chapter I write goes through extensive rewrites and edits (some more than others). All I can say is that a new chapter will come out every few weeks or so. Don’t expect this story to be 1,500 chapters, though. I’m not looking to write it over the course of 9 years at the pace I work.
Girsu · 2K Views
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