Dirty Farming Jokes

Torn apart and eaten alive by zombies, Jiao Lizhi died filled with regret and hatred. As darkness engulfed her, she opened her eyes—only to find herself back at the beginning of the apocalypse. Crawling back from hell, she sought revenge and fought to live a better life. Watching his loved one torn to pieces before his eyes, he lost his sanity. To avenge her, he destroyed humanity’s last hope with his own hands. On the day the world was swallowed by darkness, he took his own life as the last man standing on Earth. When he opened his eyes again, he vowed never to lose her again! As the world turns into a living hell, will they be able to undo the regrets of their past lives? TRIGGER WARNING! Gore, Violence, Graphic scenes, Abuse.

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!! ——— ——— ——— Read My Review Gib Money - ko-fi.com/khyaal Join My Discord For Reference Arts and much more - https://discord.gg/zmUcswM2N5

A Thousand Lifetimes, A Thousand Times A Cripple. Knox Falazar—as he’s now known—has always been a cripple. No matter how many reincarnations he experienced, that fact stood true. But in his 1314th Lifetime, something changed for Knox… *Ding!* [You have awakened with the Attribute Farming System! Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to escape your destiny!?] “Escape my destiny…?” [Time to acquire Attribute Orbs!] Join Knox Falazar on a blood-pumping journey as he maneuvers his way through a World of Cultivation! Battling demons, slaying monsters, playing with the hearts of Beauties, becoming the Villain—doing whatever it takes to obtain Attribute Orbs and alter his destined Fate as a despised Cripple!

A young Japanese man inherits his parents' Shine Muscat grape farm after they impulsively bought it during retirement but couldn't handle its physical demands. Though initially reluctant, he finds success farming for three years until market oversaturation causes prices to plummet. While playing a new video game called "Immortal Order: Origin" about historical secrets, he is mysteriously transported to 16th century North America, where he encounters starving English colonists from the lost Roanoke Colony. His grape farm has been transported with him, complete with modern equipment and a secret gift called 'Immortal'.

Target Audience: This book is for those who had enough of MCs getting bullied and those who enjoyed progression. I'll now apologize if I miss something and MC didn't act according to your likings, I'll adjust and improve so let's get addicted to it! SSS rank talent? I can get 10,000 xp multiplier and convert them to upgrade my skills? Proficiency? Item Quality? Top ranker? Beat them up! Arrogant villains? Slap them to death! My Little Sister getting bullied in school? Destroy the school! In my eyes, you are just experience points to farm! Let's farm experience points! #Progression #Invincible Progtagonist

Elaina never anticipated discovering that her husband, the reigning emperor of the Kingdom of Luminiera, was unfaithful. To make matters worse, the one seemingly attempting to undermine their marriage was none other than her sister! Unable to confront this harsh reality, Elaina resolved to plan her escape and distance herself from her husband. However, a significant complication emerged while she was plotting her departure—she was pregnant with the emperor's child. Determined not to subject her child to the consequences of her husband's infidelity, she chose to flee with her child and embark on a fresh start in the neighboring kingdom of Darcero, utilizing her expertise in farming while also planning on raising the child that she will give birth soon all on her own without the need and support of a father. As fortune would have it, the gods appeared to favor her resolve. "Because the gods are impressed by your dedication, we reward you with a helper that will allow you to flourish in this land. In exchange, you help us grow plants that are not yet present in this world and spread them all over the world. Activating the Farm Helper. Welcome, host!" Now faced with the prospect of an entirely new life and the responsibility of her unborn child, Elaina must navigate the challenges that lie ahead. What trials and tribulations will she encounter as she endeavors to build a life for herself and her child in this unfamiliar territory?

Miyagi Kyo, a 30-year-old virgin, saves a child from a truck and wins the goddess's favor. Reborn as a dashing high school student in a world with a staggering 1:30 male to female ratio, he is suddenly surrounded by stunning girls—his blonde yankee neighbor, the diligent class president, and more. With a heart full of excitement, Miyagi dives into his exhilarating second life! _____________________________________________________________ Gain access to more chapters and help me purchase more character pictures by supporting my Patreon! p@treon.c0m/AlwaysWantedSupport

Linyun, a graduate of the Agricultural College, transmigrated to the world of cultivation in a fit of anger after his graduation project was destroyed. This world is home to cultivators pursuing immortality and mythical beasts capable of stirring the seas. There are also various magical professions. Faced with this wondrous world, Linyun only wants to fully commit to the farming business that he couldn't complete in his past life. At the same time, he wants to see to what extent his past life's farming techniques combined with the cultivation methods of this world can enhance the art of farming.

After transmigrating back from the Cultivation World, she started farming and live streaming to sale fresh local produce in hometown. —— Having failed to transcend the tribulation of the Golden Core, Song Tan returned to the modern era, only to find herself at the scene of a serial car accident. She barely survived thanks to the timely rescue of a benefactor. With that, what else was there to consider? Forget being a corporate slave, let's go back home and farm!!! With her experience in cultivation, Song Tan created her own picturesque land, foraged for wild vegetables, cooked farm meals, picked cucumbers, started live streaming, and sold mountain delicacies...

Suddenly finding herself in a rural setting, Lin Caisang became the village's renowned 'Star of Wealth and Honor'. Surrounded by unique relatives, they treated her as if she were a rare panda—held preciously in their palms for fear she would fall and gently kept in their mouths lest she dissolved. Meet the exceptional relatives: The Powerhouse Father, who declared, "You want Sangsang to get married? You'll have to get past me first." The Stingy Mother, questioning, "What does she need a husband for? She can have all the fine food and a carefree life with me!" The Sly Grandfather, suggesting, "Girls shouldn’t have to do the dirty, tiring work. Quick, call over your brother!" The Majestic Grandmother, fiercely proclaiming, "Who dares to bully Sangsang? Let them face a fight to the death with me!" The Protective Brother, assuring, "Little sister, all the good food is for you. I am not hungry!" Holding her flabby flesh, Lin Caisang wept without tears: "Let me go! I need to lose weight!" Meanwhile, the strikingly handsome, icy man next door not only protected and spoiled her in secret but also had a not-so-simple identity.....

When the land was occupied by demons, people had no choice but to flee to the sky. After transmigration, Ricky found that he had become the City Lord of a Sky City. He quickly became familiar with this new world and established a clear direction for survival, which was to resolutely engage in farming (kingdombuilding)! He would farm (kingdombuilding) diligently, develop vigorously, and then gallop through the skies. If anyone disagrees, then launch a great sky battle. Or a war!

The future is grim, with a fantastic and unpredictable high-quality super system produced by immortals and Buddhas. The missions are crazier than ever, with man-eating ogres, murderers, face-cutting madmen, schemes of great families, tomb raiding, apocalyptic crises, and so on. Qin Yu: That's because I have the divine skill of being a drama queen. Jiaojiao: The issue is that your cultivation path shouldn't be farming. Qin Yu: It's just a phase, and what's wrong with farming, anyway? Jiaojiao: Have you ever heard of anyone who became an immortal through farming? Qin Yu: No? Jiaojiao: Yes, the Earth God and Earth Goddess. Qin Yu: ... Actually, there's another name that sounds pretty cool - the Immortal Mercenary, known as the cannon fodder of the great battle between good and evil immortals, demons, east and west forces on the Battlefield. Official group: Enter with one thousand fans (5906,534,83), and enter the VIP group with ten thousand fans. PS: This story can be used to tease both girls and gods, with mostly ambiguity and no CP (couple pairing). It's copy protected, so we hope readers are psychologically prepared for this beforehand. Please don't demand CP or protest the copy protection. Thank you for your support.

# familyfeud #daughterofamistress #koi Qiao Xuan, daughter of a county magistrate, supposedly had a fiance that everyone envied. But then her father’s legal wife schemed against her, and married her into a farmer’s family. On the night of her wedding, after seeing how shabby her room was, Qiao Xuan hung herself. When she opened her eyes again, a different Qiao Xuan had transmigrated onto this body. The new Qiao Xuan stared at her husband and frowned after seeing how shabby the house looked. “Don’t worry. I know that you didn’t want to marry me, so I won’t touch you. I’ll apply for a divorce tomorrow and give you back your freedom.” But wait, Qiao Xuan hadn’t figured out what was going on yet! She couldn’t get a divorce, or else her father’s legal wife wouldn’t forgive her. Also, she was a woman of a different world and possessed special powers. Couldn’t she just build a business from here? So it was decided. Qiao Xuan began assisting her husband and slapped the faces of all who wronged them. They kept leveling up, and went from being a poor farmer’s family to becoming the richest family in the area. Those who bullied her regretted their actions, and her husband had regrets too. “I never said I wanted to divorce you.” Qiao Xuan was perplexed when he was pressing her down on the bed. Why did he suddenly decide against getting a divorce?

If he wanted to boss around, he could do whatever he wanted. I would continue to farm, but if he tried to attack me, then he would not live to see another day. Zhao Hai was a shut-in until he was transmigrated to another world with a farm and taken over the body of a fallen noble. The land that the noble had was one that could not grow anything. He also had a fiance who was the heir to a principality. To make matters even worse, he was talentless in martial arts and magic where he couldn’t even learn both. “So what if I can’t do magic? I have my farm. Let’s see you try and attack me! I’ll let my bugs out to devour all of your military rations! I’ll put pesticides in your water source and grow weeds on your land! Let’s see you try and attack me after that!” “What? You’ll hire assassins to kill me? Try and do that when I’m hiding inside my farmhouse. Once that is over, I’ll rid your country of all your food sources! Your citizens will come after you instead of you coming after me!” The shut-in had a slightly foul personality. This is a story of how he, and his farm, became a nightmare to the people of a world of swords and magic.

Three teenagers being reincarnated into a fantasy world, a joke fantasy adventure based off a DnD campaign between good friends.

After losing her job, Wan Qian unexpectedly inherits the estate of an distant great-uncle—a remote countryside farm. She originally thought she could enjoy a leisurely rural life, working at sunrise and resting at sunset. However, she soon discovers that the farm is unbelievably strange—animals on the farm produce crops, whispers rustle from the wardrobe at midnight, and what flows from the faucet is not clear water but thick red liquid… Even more absurd, interns who come to work always mysteriously "resign," leaving only a calm and composed butler who hands her a new labor contract with a smile every day. Faced with all this, Wan Qian optimistically rolls up her sleeves: "Alright then, running a farm isn't easy. I have to find a way to turn a profit." So, using outrageous workplace logic and farm management experience, she tames an eldritch god into a guard dog, hires a midnight butcher as a chef, and even enlists a faceless girl as an accountant… While others tremble in fear, she leisurely patrols the farmland: "No slacking off! If performance targets aren't met, your wages will be docked." Thus, a farm where "humans and ghosts and monsters" beings coexist is officially open for business! —Horror? Not at all. With the right job assignments, every ghost and monster can be a model corporate worker!

Leonardo Sylvius, or "Leo," is just a regular guy and a pretty bad hunter with no magical powers. He works at Goja Mart, stuck in a boring routine and feeling the weight of life on his shoulders. He was raised by his grandfather after his parents passed away when he was young, and his grandfather was everything to him. One day, Leo gets the news that his grandfather is dying. Before he passes, the grandfather leaves him an envelope, telling him to open it only when life feels like it's closing in on him. After working for years in the company, Leo finally feels that pressure and decides to open the envelope. To his surprise, his grandfather has left him a farm in Stardale Valley. Leo's life starts to change as he begins to fix up the old farm. He starts farming, taking care of animals, and fishing, discovering talents he never knew he had. As time goes on, he connects with the people in the town, and his story begins to take off, breaking free from the dullness of his old life.

Rezen suddenly found himself transmigrated in the parallel earth where magic is possible with the help of Mystic Gems. He was excited to reach the top when life slaps him hard and gave him the lowest level of talent Fortunately, Rezen activated his Farm System. So what if he does not have the talent for cultivation? His crops are more than enough to make up for the lack of talent! —- Please check my entry for WSA 2025 titled: Spirit Serpent Art: Journey to Divinity. You might also like it, thank you.

# HAPPY ENDING # 1V1 # DAILYFAMILYLIFE # POWERFULMINISTER # PURE PROTAGONISTS In his previous life, Xue Yan was a powerful minister. When he returned to seven years of age, he no longer wanted to be one anymore. He simply wanted to settle down in this ravine, be a farmer like his brothers, and grow crops like ordinary people, so that he wouldn’t end up as he did in his previous life. In that life, he had all the power in the world, but his family was not fated to have a good ending. Unexpectedly, his father picked up a baby girl. She was great in all aspects except one. She couldn’t be allowed to sneak out alone. Otherwise, she would bring back a great general one time, and bring back a prince with a different surname the next. She even rescued the empress dowager of this dynasty…Not long after, she brought back the Emperor!***Jiang Yu, the best commander of Area A in the wasteland age, had transmigrated through ancient times and become a three-and-a-half-year-old girl!

Jiang He might have transmigrated to a world of Qi and martial arts, but the System that he got only provided him with... seeds. "Hold on, System. Aren't these just... peas? Not only are they inedible, but I'm supposed to throw them far, far away?"

An Wen suddenly discovers that he can transmigrate to another world. An Wen was initially not too interested in exploring the other world, but when he unknowingly rubbed a tree and a plank of wood fell out...

"Ria if I get harder than I am now I will explode right here and now." He whispered in my ear. "Lord help me! How I want to fuck that sweet mouth of yours so much more than I want to climb the pulpit." I moaned out. His words drove me to another orgasm. She was innocent, young, pure, good until she met him. He was her priest until he became her lover. He destroyed her Innocence yet she loved him for it. Love, hate, desire, rage they were just a few of the things she felt for him. He knew just how to make her bend and beg and when he touched her, "El ansia."

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

well i guess this is it ... wait why wont this world let me die ? is this some kind of joke ?

[Cultivation Family] [Business Development] [Farming] [Gou Wang] [Group Portrait] [Survival] [Non-Fun Story] [Daily Life] A small family that has established a foundation can live forever by binding to the family. Formations, alchemy, puppets, talismans, farming... are all-round development. I thought I was already good enough, but I unexpectedly discovered that I was nothing compared to my family. The Gou Wang family was born.

Felon /fè-lun/ Cruel; Wicked. I continued biting my lips whilst fidgeting with my finger nails, my mind still pondering over the question he asked minutes ago. "Ojalá éstos fueran mis dientes mordiéndote los labios." I heard him mumble under his breath. [I wish those were my fucking teeth biting your lips.] I threw a morose look in his direction. "Speak an apprehensible language." I snarled getting annoyed. "You need to get inside my mind to understand that." He responded nonchalantly shrugging off his shoulders. "I don't enter dirty places." I snapped rolling my eyes. "But I would really enjoy entering your dirty places."

Bok Taejin was an ordinary young man who met an untimely death in a car accident—only to wake up in the body of a starving teenager in a strange world. Stranded in the wilderness, he is rescued by a group of villagers and soon discovers that he has transmigrated into the new Sect Leader of the long-forgotten One Flower Sect—a once-powerful immortal sect now reduced to nothing. With no cultivation talent, no resources, and only a mysterious technique called the Life and Death Technique, Bok Taejin soon realizes that the key to reviving his sect isn’t just through martial arts—it’s through farming. Hidden within the sect’s abandoned fields are spiritual herbs and ancient crops with untapped potential. By cultivating the land, nurturing rare plants, and trading with nearby towns, he slowly builds a foundation for the sect’s return. But as word spreads of a declining sect suddenly producing miraculous crops and powerful elixirs, forces from the martial world begin to take notice. Can Bok Taejin grow his sect back to its former glory while fending off enemies who seek to steal his secrets? Armed with nothing but his wits, a hoe, and an iron will, the last disciple of the One Flower Sect is about to change the world—one harvest at a time! Note: 1. Slow-paced story. 2. There is no female lead in this book.

Shian was just a child with no parents. He was just harvesting his crops at his backyard farm, when suddenly, a person teleported inside his house. And when the person suddenly disappeared, another one teleported. "What could this mean?" Shian said, intrigued by the teleported people.