Stephen Hawking Jokes

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Oh, before I forget, soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

Many people wish to escape this boring life, or rather, everyone does. I was no different. But back then, I hadn’t been summoned to another world. It didn’t take long for us to realize that this place was a true hell. Covered in blood, Avinash screamed, “One day, I’ll have them all beneath my feet!” Hero? What a joke.

Suddenly transported to ancient times, struggling to even get enough to eat? What’s this? Men are dwindling due to war, and the government assigns me a beautiful wife with orders to have a child by next year? And now, foreign invaders are threatening the heartland? No problem! Mastering math, physics, and chemistry means I can thrive anywhere! The unstoppable cavalry of the steppes? The indestructible warships of the pirates? A joke! With knowledge as my weapon, I’ll turn the tide and reshape history!

The new novel "Rebirth Space: Charm of the '80s" has been released~ As the eldest daughter of the Yang Family's main branch, Yang Ruxin's pleasure was building the family fortune and supporting her younger siblings. But why was that blind and lame guy such a Relentless Spirit? When she cooked, he would come to light the fire; When she set up her stall, he would follow to hawk her goods... "I say, Mr. Gu, do you have to help with everything I do?" Yang Ruxin asked with a hint of annoyance. "Yes," Mr. Gu nodded earnestly. "Then right now I want to..." "Wife." Mr. Gu hurriedly stood up from his wheelchair, "as long as we don't part, I'll give you anything you want."

Some exist with pride, others struggle with pride, some compete with pride, and there are those who fail with pride, but very few can walk away with pride. Congratulations, for as you read these lines, you have witnessed the whole lives of many great basketball players. This pronunciation was embodied when Stephen Curry, after facing defeat in 2021, claimed that no one would want to face them the following season; When Tim Duncan was convinced before the start of the 2014 Finals that they would not mess up; When Kobe Bryant promised at Old Buss's memorial to take the Lakers to the playoffs; When Nowitzki, shedding his label as a soft player, retreated to the locker room in tears at night; When Kevin Garnett let out a skyward howl after holding the championship trophy; When the 2004 Detroit Pistons won and the F4 Lakers lost… Our story begins in an era when pride still mattered.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Drake was a troublemaker with a knack for bad jokes. One of them got him killed. Now, he finds himself in Atheria, a world of magic, mythical creatures, and warring Gods. Equipped with the mysterious System of Chaos—a game-like interface that grants him skills, stats, and quests—Drake must learn to survive in this dangerous new reality. But his arrival hasn't gone unnoticed. The Gods, offended by his irreverent attitude and fearful of his unique system, have marked him for death. To live peacefully (and maybe get some payback), Drake will have to embrace his chaotic nature, master his newfound powers, and challenge the very beings who rule Atheria.

Simione needed to become a mistress. Not just another rich man's mistress, but M Conglomerate's President, Hawk Monsanto's. Truth was, the young billionaire does not interest Simione of any sort nor was his very attractive gorgeous looks concerned her. She just needed him for one thing, his fiancée Feather Han, owed her big time and that ballerina bitch had to pay with the most precious thing Simione desired, her broken heart. Hawk Monsanto rose to the top for one reason; he wanted to be the perfect match for the Han Scintillait's heiress. When he thought it was the right time to get what his heart desired, he willingly bleeds millions just to arrange a wedding engagement. However, whether it was work of fate or work of an evil seductress, he stumbled upon a rare beauty that he cannot set his eyes off. And before his money and rationality could ever warn him, Hawk had fallen into something his billions cannot buy. *** "Who are you?" Hawk managed to ask between his ragged breath. "That depends on who you want me to be," The girl uttered and for the first time, Hawk saw her upturned honey-colored eyes. Looking into it was like drowning yourself into something magical, something hypnotizing and very much irresistible that when the girl tiptoed to meet his lips, he willingly lowered his head to welcome her. And he was right there, opening his mouth for her—warm and wet—giving everything he must give and was kissing her back with equal ardor. The girl wrapped her arms around his neck, and he responded by pressing the girl's body closer, the fiancee forgotten. However, when Hawk was at the point of wanting more, the girl pulled away and Hawk opened his eyes bewildered onto her sudden retreat. He was gasping for air and would very much like to pull her back to finish the bliss she had started. But she only smiled at him, feeling very empowered by the fact that the M Conglomerate's President had already fallen into her trap. "What's the matter?" He asked, confused as to what made her stop. "Nothing," Her smile widened a little more, making her face bright and goddess-like and Hawk became more defenseless with that. "It's just that I only want you to have a free taste. The next of course comes with a big price"

Life is stressful. Oriental mystery jokes to de-stress.

"A thrilling action novel infused with jokes and a touch of life lessons."

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

In the year 666 of the Empire of Dylar, an ordinary year turned into one of chaos and bloodshed when the newly appointed baron of the Hawk Fortress was assassinated. At the heart of this tragedy, a soul from another world, having been unexpectedly transported into this realm, found himself in a battle for survival. His only hope was to fight back against the assassin's attack, but in doing so, he unknowingly awakened a long-dormant bloodline within himself. What was once a fragile man now found himself transformed, as his newfound power began to manifest in ways he never could have imagined. As he struggled to understand the mystery behind his awakening, he also uncovered dark secrets buried deep within his new family, secrets that could change the very fate of the land. Survival was just the beginning. With enemies on all sides, he must decide whether to embrace his new destiny, seek revenge, or uncover the truth behind his bloodline. As he rises from the ashes, will he become a protector of those he loves, or will the thirst for power consume him?

Form an up-and-coming alchemist to the richest mage to exist, follow the journey of Seth as he walks the path paved with gold while throwing fireballs here and there. Maybe, just maybe you can get a glimpse on the Dao of wealth. Ps: This is not a cultivation novel. Ps: Don’t forget to drop a comment. Ps: Remember to like and subscribe ^-^ Ps: Just joking but do add to library.

    Stephen, a young novelist who wants to get rich and popular. But somehow, his novels aren't getting that much of an attention and people only read it and left without a rating and comments.     Stephen has an idea, is to turn his novel into comics so that he could really express and show to the people what he wanted them to see. The problem is, he can't draw.     Hiring an comic artist would be very expensive and trying to gamble your money to your novel would be risky if it won't get people's attention. He wished for a free hire. He searched and searched throughout the internet, finding a free for hire artist.     But there's no one to find. One night, there, he found Tina, doing a free novel to comic adaptation. But the comments are something fishy, scandals of Tina. But Stephen ignored and hired her.     This is where their story starts. Stephen, a good writer and Tina, a great artist combo. Wouldn't that be an easy rich? No, instead of getting rich that easily, a lot of problems will get in their way.

Synopsis: Reclaiming Love Alicia Carter’s life is a storm of survival—raising her younger sister, Emma, while drowning in debt. A glimmer of hope emerges when she lands a job at a powerful company, only to discover it belongs to Stephen Grant, her wealthy ex who disappeared years ago. Their reunion is charged with unresolved passion and old wounds, but as Stephen fights to reclaim her love, Alicia must decide if her heart can survive the risk. Meanwhile, Emma falls for Stephen’s reckless cousin, Daniel, only to face betrayal that shatters her trust. Will Alicia and Emma find redemption in love, or will their hearts remain guarded forever? In Reclaiming Love, passion ignites, trust is tested, and second chances take center stage.

Years after a brutal, six year war between martial artists and magicians ended with the coexisting of the two parties, creating mixed martial arts, in 2002, a boy named Hawk Yuje would begin his quest to become the best mixed martial artist in the world.

Beatrice Hawk's life was full of love and fortune, until she married Atlas Hawk — a CEO with a secret criminal life. After a coma, Beatrice experiences visions of a parallel world where she is Blade, a professional assassin betrayed and killed by his lover, Atlas. When she wakes up, Beatrice discovers that her jealous sister, Victoria, has taken everything from her. Including, stealing her husband. Will Beatrice's visions of another world help her change her fate, or will they lead her down a darker path? #action

In a fractured world on the brink of collapse, Hawk, a deadly assassin, is tasked with eliminating Low, a rebel leader accused of inciting chaos. But when their fateful confrontation triggers the activation of F.A.D.E.—a mysterious apocalyptic system—they find themselves bound by an unbreakable curse: if one dies, so does the other. Forced into an uneasy alliance, Hawk and Low must navigate a world transformed by F.A.D.E., completing perilous trials that level up their abilities while uncovering the system’s dark secrets. As their powers grow, so does the tension between their desire to destroy each other and the undeniable connection that begins to form. But the curse is more than a cruel twist of fate—it’s a safeguard against a greater threat. Hawk and Low are the fragmented souls of an ancient being, the Arbiter, whose power is the key to saving or destroying the world. To end the apocalypse, they must confront the ultimate choice: kill each other to gain absolute power or unite their forces to shut down F.A.D.E. at the cost of their lives. In a story of love, betrayal, and redemption, Bound by Blood and F.A.D.E. explores the thin line between hate and love, the weight of sacrifice, and the power of a bond that even death cannot sever.

Set in modern times, Stephen Huntley is your average high schooler. New rollerblades called "Dyna Blades" have swept the world by storm due to their advanced technology. After being defeated by gang members who ride Dyna Blades, Stephen seeks redemption, only to discover that Dyna Blades are much more than regular inline skates. In his journey to riding, he'll form new bonds and learn more about secrets behind these makeshift rollerblades.

For twenty-four years, Daphne believed she had it all—a loving husband, a successful career, and a son she adored. But beneath the surface of her perfect life lay a web of lies, betrayal, and a secret so devastating it could destroy everything she held dear. When Daphne overhears a chilling conversation between her husband, Stephen, and Rosie, the impoverished student she had generously sponsored, her world shatters. She learns that the child she carried and raised as her own is not hers by blood, but the product of a twisted scheme orchestrated by the two people she trusted most. Determined to protect herself and reclaim her life, Daphne devises a plan of her own—one that will exact the ultimate revenge. As the years pass, Daphne plays the role of the devoted mother and wife, biding her time. But when her son returns from studying abroad, the truth finally comes to light in a dramatic public showdown. With her assets transferred and her family turned against her, Daphne must confront the ultimate betrayal—and reveal the shocking twist that will leave everyone reeling.

I was a normal part timer in a small cafe when one day walking down the street a man wearing mask killed me to steal my bag. just when I thought I was going to die a floating screen appears in front of my eyes... [CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN THE NEW WORLD] [4:58 YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE THE DECISION] seriously!!! was my life was not shitty enough that now even at the time of my death these kind of jokes happening with me. in my heart I knew well that things like reincarnation doesn't happen but I have got no Choice. [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE INVITATION] [ ELIJAH VALENTINE: A FAMOUS A* LIST ACTRESS AND MODEL] [PLEASE CLICK HERE TO TET THE MEMORIES

In the world of winged creatures, those born wingless are doomed to become invisible and forgotten. Hawk, Raven, Eagle, Vulture—each spirit determines the fate of its bearer. The ruling winged beings soar high in the sky above mere mortals, their dominance unshakable. Among the supreme avian spirits, Mirabella Flamire, nicknamed “Little Egg” by her captain, was born as a humble sparrow. Aboard the Primrose, she ferried spices across the kingdoms, far from the talons of larger predators. However, her life took a fateful turn when her crew received orders to escort the Hawk King Eros La Velle back to his kingdom after attending the Everdale Crown Prince’s wedding. The shameless king claimed the little sparrow stole his virtue and was hell-bent on insisting they build a nest together. The sparrow, now labeled a promiscuous peacock by the folks: “-_-” Enter an epic tale of fire and flight, where the truth buried beneath the sand is revealed, testing love and loyalty beyond the skies.

Daphne, a successful businesswoman, discovers a shocking betrayal by her husband, Stephen, and Rosie, the impoverished student she had supported for years. Unbeknownst to her, the child she carried and raised was the result of their secret affair. For over two decades, Daphne plays the role of the devoted mother and wife, all while meticulously planning her revenge. As the truth unravels at a press conference, Daphne’s calm demeanor masks a calculated strategy that will leave everyone reeling. This is a tale of love, betrayal, and the ultimate quest for justice.

Chi Chi transmigrated 10 whole years ago. It was sudden, but after ten years they settled into an average life in this magical world. Though when they body they are living in matures at age 25, their system unlocks. A system they didn't really want. Though, who isn't tempted by potential super powers. *** Authors Note: Hey guys. I'm started writing this as a joke. Though low and behold it was fun so now I'm taking it seriously.

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.

My name is Zhang Mo, an eighth-generation peasant. Yesterday, I was peacefully farming when I got drafted by a local sect. Upon arriving at the mountain, I found out that the sect was actually a demonic cult. The worst part? After just one day, they wanted me to be their sect leader. Holy heavens, what kind of cruel joke is this?! —Excerpt from Diary of the Supreme Dark Saint by Zhang the Great Demon, Chapter One

In the floating city of Skyreach, where magic and athleticism collide, the sport of Skyball reigns supreme. Played on islands suspended high above the ground, Skyball is a breathtaking, high-flying competition where players harness magical powers to soar through the air and score with a glowing energy orb. For orphan Kai Stormwind, who possesses the rare gift of wind magic, the dream of playing in the elite Skyball leagues has always seemed out of reach. Working at a small Skyball shop in the lower district, Kai spends his days fixing worn-out gear and his nights secretly practicing his magic. But when a mysterious stranger—revealed to be the legendary Darius Falkner, former captain of the champion Sky Titans—witnesses Kai’s untapped potential, everything changes. Darius offers Kai a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join the struggling Storm Hawks, a team of underdogs fighting for their place in the Great Sky Tournament. As Kai joins the team, he must learn to master not only his wind magic but also the teamwork and strategy needed to compete at the highest level. With the tournament drawing near, Kai and the Storm Hawks face fierce competition, including the ruthless Drakken Fangs, a team bent on winning at any cost—even if it means using forbidden magic. As dark forces threaten the tournament and the future of Skyreach itself, Kai finds himself at the center of a conflict far greater than just a game. With the fate of the city hanging in the balance, Kai must rise above his past and lead the Storm Hawks to victory—both on the Skyball field and against an enemy who seeks to destroy everything they hold dear. Full of magical action, thrilling sports competition, and the journey of an underdog fighting for his dreams, The Skyball Chronicles is an epic adventure of courage, friendship, and the power of teamwork.

A collection of usually one shots, with some having multiple parts. Written by an underworked-but-tired-anyways author lol