I could barely hear my instructor Garnet over the sound of the wind. We had been standing out here for over an hour in the freezing cold just listening to her speak. Everyone of us girls were wearing our black and pink hooded jumpsuits that were so thin it felt like you didn't have anything on at all. Despite that, I always thought they were cool. They were designed to be perfect for stealth and movement. The jumpsuits were mostly black with pink lining and a pink hood. They were also so tight that you could see every outline of our bodies. I looked around at the other girls, my gaze locking with Topaz. She gave me a strange look and then quickly averted her gaze. Topaz and I had arrived at the Abyss at the same time 10 years ago. We used to be really close, always sticking together like glue. But then, she just stopped talking to me with no explanation. I shook my head then turned my gaze back to the front. We had these assemblies every week no matter the conditions.
One time, about a year ago, it was hailing so hard that all of us huddled in the exposed roots of a cedar tree until our instructor Alexandrite came and yelled at us for being weak. Everyone of us got a turn in the Pounder that day. Standing awkwardly in the front of the group today was our newest member Ruby. She was small, not much older than five and shaking like crazy. I knew that in the eyes of Our Superior, that was a sign of weakness. Never show emotion. Never look down when speaking. Never speak without being spoken to. Those were our three main rules of the Abyss. And the one thing Our Superior hated the most was when you looked down while talking.
"Now we will break off into groups and practice hunting one of our members!" Garnet shouted over the wind. "Ruby, please step forward."
It was tradition for the youngest member of the group to be hunted first. We weren't hunting to kill, we were just hunting for practice.
"Opal, Topaz. You girls are together," Garnet called, pointing a finger at both of us in turn. I swallowed hard but nodded in respect for her words.
"Yes, commander Garnet," Topaz spoke, bowing her head. Not even a few seconds later, she turned her gaze from Garnet to me. Her expression was blank but I could practically feel the daggers that she was shooting me with her eyes.
"Ruby, go hide in the forest," Garnet commanded, turning to the rest of us. "You girls go hunt her. The first group to finish will get to talk to Your Superior. If you fail to catch her and bring her back to me, you will take turns talking to me in the shed." Garnet pointed to the old shed that stood at the edge of the large meeting space. The shed was small and falling apart but it was still effective in what it was used for. We all called it the 'Pounder' because that was where the instructors took you to give you a beating if you failed a task or disobeyed them. It was necessary. It made us better.
"Alright Gems, depart," Garnet said with a nod of her head.
Everyone scattered, some of the younger girls making the mistake of running into the woods. Ruby would easily be able to hear them running in the snow even with our padded shoes. The shoes were black with pink lining just like our jumpsuits. They were carefully designed by Our Surperier to be like the paws of a snow leopard and conceal our footsteps no matter what we were walking on.
Topaz started to walk without me, not even looking back to see if I was following. She was walking fast like she knew exactly where Ruby was hiding.
"Do you know where you're going?" I finally questioned, my eyebrows furrowing together. Topaz just stuck a finger up to shush me. She bent down looking at something I couldn't see on the ground.
"What are you doing?"
"Footprint," she said simply.
She began to run her hand back and forth across the small print, checking if it was still warm. That was a trick that our old caretaker Jade taught us. Every Gem is assigned a caretaker to look over them when they first arrive at the Abyss. Since Topaz and I arrived at the same time, we were assigned the same caretaker. Our Superior told us when we first arrived that our mothers had abandoned us, and Jade filled that role perfectly. Topaz was especially fond of her and never left her side. Then, Jade got called to meet Our Superior in his office and we never saw her again. When Topaz asked what happened to her, one of our instructors took her to the Pounder and told all of us to never mention that name again.
"This way," Topaz said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Do you think she's scared?" I said talking more to myself then to Topaz.
"Who?" Topaz asked even though it was obvious who I was talking about.
"Ruby. Do you think she's scared?"
Topaz just shrugged.
"We were scared when we had to be hunted."
"You were scared," Topaz said firmly, finally looking at me for the first time. "I've never been scared in my life."
I gaped at her, my mouth hanging open like a fool. "Don't act all fearless. Everyone's afraid of something."
"Then I guess I'm not like everyone else." Topaz gave me a challenging look, daring me to keep talking. I fell silent knowing that there was no way I could win this conversation. Suddenly, we heard rustling in the hollow of a fallen tree. I wasn't saying anything but Topaz still placed her hand over my mouth. She slowly started to circle the hollow, clicking her tongue to add to Ruby's fear. I stood motionless watching her with a frown. Topaz climbed on top of the fallen tree and peered down, her eyes locking with Ruby's.
"Found you," she whispered, grabbing Ruby by the front of her suit and dragging her roughly out from the roots.
"You don't have to be so rough Topaz. She's only a child," I said, crossing my arms across my chest. It was partly out of annoyance but also just a feeble attempt to warm my body up.
"Shut up Opal," Topaz spit at me, her grip on Ruby tightening slightly.
"Now," she turned her attention back to the scared little girl. "What are we gonna do with you?"
Ruby began to shake. I couldn't tell if it was from fear, the cold or a little bit of both. A single fat tear rolled down her face and Topaz's face filled with disgust.
"Don't cry. Don't ever cry."
Ruby dropped her gaze to the ground which seemed to be the fuel to the fire that was always burning inside Topaz. She pulled her hand back and slapped Ruby across the face. The sound of her hand connecting with the young girl's face was so loud that I was sure people could hear it on the other side of the world. Ruby burst into tears clutching her cheek where a red mark was already forming. Topaz glared at her then turned away and began to walk back to Garnet, muttering something about how everyone was weak. I walked alongside the sobbing Ruby, my hands stuffed into the pockets of my body suit.
"You should stop crying. If Garnet sees you, you'll be going right to the Pounder."
Rudy stayed silent, but wiped the tears from her cheeks, taking a few deep breaths. Topaz kept stomping in front of us like an angry toddler who was told they couldn't have candy. I jogged to catch up with her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at the touch and I quickly pulled my hand away.
"Are you okay Topaz?" I questioned, my voice soft.
Topaz sighed loudly and turned to me with her dark brown eyes. Topaz was a very pretty girl with short sandy blonde hair, fair skin, and dark freckles dusting her cheek. She had lost the innocent look in her brown eyes just like we all had at some point. She almost never laughed anymore and when she did, it was bitter and sad.
"She needs to learn the rules here, Opal."
"Who?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing together.
Topaz looked at me like I was an idiot before speaking again. "Ruby." She said, exasperated.
"She needs to learn the rules or she'll be destroyed here."
"She'll learn. Just like everyone else did Topaz. Don't you remember how many times Jade had to explain the rules to you? It took you a lot of time in the Pounder before you learned to look up when you spoke."
Topaz flinched at the mention of Jade's name. "Don't ever say that name to me again," she said in a low voice.
"She was my friend too, Topaz."
"No," Topaz lunged at me, pinning me against the rough bark of a birch tree.
"She was not our 'friend.' She was our instructor. You don't make friends with instructors." She released me and turned around to glance at Ruby then froze. I followed her gaze to see that the little girl was nowhere to be seen. Topaz cursed me and shot a look so fierce, I thought I might wither away right there. I knew it was my fault. I had been distracted, been weak. Never show emotion. Never be vulnerable. Those rules rang in my head like a siren. We walked quicker, neither one of us saying anything.
"Opal! Topaz!" Garnet called to us when we emerged from the forest. All the other Gems were already back, jaws set and eyes wide. They had all failed.
"Please tell me you found her." Topaz shifted slightly next to me.
"No Instructor," she said. "We have not found her."
Garnet shook her head. "How disappointing."
"It was my fault, Instructor," I found myself speaking. "Topaz found her, but I let her get away."
Garnet's expression hardened. She stepped closer until she was towering over me. "Never, take the blame Opal. Do you find yourself too good for Your Superior's words?"
My eyes widened but I held her gaze. "No Instructor. My Superior is the greatest man. He is the reason I am alive. The reason I have food to eat and clothes to wear. He saved me when my mother abandoned me." I had resisted these words so many times it was second nature. Garnet nodded in approval but her eyes were still cold. Without saying a word, she grabbed my arm, her grip like a vice, and led me to the Pounder.
"Step inside Opal. It is time for your punishment."
"Yes Instructor." My heart was pounding but I followed her instructions. The shed was pitch black, the smell of dried blood and leather was strong. I heard the sound of snapping, the tearing of cloth, and a small laugh. Then there was a loud crack and my body was alive with pain. I curled into a tight ball, trying to protect my vital organs as Garnet continued to shower me with blows to my legs and back. This was all for the good. I deserved this. This made me better. My Superior knew what was best for me. I loved My Superior and he loved all of us. I smiled to myself at the thought. Even as my body was screaming at me, I knew in my heart that I was loved, and that was all that mattered. Right?