Dying is nothing like what people say. No flashing memories or slow motion where you realize your life is coming to an end. It just happens. Walking down the crosswalk, maybe your mind wanders for a moment and boom, a car hits you. Sharp pain down your side as your bones snap and flesh tears from the impact.
Just like that. The sound of cars and other pedestrians, streetlights and traffic lights all drown out as your consciousness fades. It ends in a mere moment.
So.
Why was I now standing in this vast, blindingly bright white room? Heaven, purgatory? I don't believe in it so that can't be it.
"So… just a human."
A voice.
Cutting the silence like a knife. It had offered no comfort but it didn't sound cold, yet it also had no warmth. The sudden announcement made me snap my head behind me and…
Fear.
This thing. It was featureless. Its mere presence was above that of a god or deity. It far surpassed the idea of divinity. This thing was much more than those titles. It seemed deeper, older.
"Wha-?" I coughed out just to be interrupted.
"Do not waste your breath, I can simply read your mind."
Is that so?
"Yes. That is so."
Eh? Creepy.
"You're not bothered by death?"
No I definitely am, this situation is just freaky. I can't process my own death.
"I see."
So, what should I call you?
"Names don't mean anything to me, however since it is custom in your realm, call me Zero."
Zero?
"I am both the start and the end, I am everything yet nothing"
I see. Zero, so what am I doing here?
"I have been watching you for sometime."
Watching me? Why?
With some pause, Zero seemed to think about his answer, or perhaps he wanted me to think he had to consider an answer. "You are simply fascinating."
Oh really? Well I am quite-
"You wish to be seen, yet hate yourself and think you don't deserve to be seen. You're filled with anger, you are a flawed human, a walking contradiction."
What the hell does that have anything to do with this!?
"Everything." A small pause before Zero continued, "You try, you keep trying and yet no matter how hard you try you always end up the bad guy in the eyes of those around you. You want to give up, but always stand back up. You have no one. No one has you. The world rejects you, and you reject the world. You are simply a fascinating human to me."
My mind raced. What else could I possibly do besides panicking? He knew me on a psychological level so it was clear he wasn't lying. Watching me? For how long could he have been watching me?
"Since you were born. Purple eyes, unnatural, a catalyst for everyone ostracizing you. Your white hair, natural. From the moment you were born I was intrigued. But you are just a human born with strangeness. Unfortunate, yet curiosity kept me watching."
I had almost forgotten with the peculiarity of the situation. Anger began to boil within me. I curled my fingers into the palm of my hand forming a fist.
"Tell me. Kaito. If given the chance to change everything, what would you do?"
"Change… Everything?" I muttered. Regret and anger began to fill me. Was he provoking me? Is this some kind of sick joke?
"Calm yourself. If you wish to die I will let you die right away, however I have an offer for you. It would be a waste to let such an interest of mine die."
"An offer?"
Zero's body rippled, sending a chill throughout my body, something seemed so disturbing about it, the way he towered over me yet had no features. It almost seemed like a mass of nothingness.
"It would be boring to send you into the same world, so an offer. I will grant you the ability to live in another world, one you have read on pages. A story." Zero said, his voice never changed tone. Remaining calm and unchanging the whole time.
A story? A new world? He couldn't mean…
"That's right. The world of Returner of The Dead. You had despised the protagonist for making all the wrong choices. So I will grant you the ability to go to this world and act as the protagonist. Your looks will remain and so will all, but you will be the protagonist."
"Will I really be able to go to another world?"
"Of course, I can make it happen. I will also grant you a special ability, though if it is a curse or blessing will depend on you."
Huh?
"Don't worry, you'll learn of it when the time comes. So tell me, would you like to accept my offer and show me how you would write this story?"
I thought about it. I don't know what I was uncertain of. Perhaps I felt I could do nothing in the world of ROTD, I mean, what was the point in going to another world. Change everything? That only made sense if I could repeat my life and make it right on earth.
However, whatever it was, I wanted to take the opportunity no matter what. I mean, it had fucking magic, its like dream come true.
"Hell yeah, send me there."
"Good. I knew you were interesting." Zero's body seemed to ripple even more, as if my response had satisfied him, or perhaps excited him. It made me think I made the wrong choice. There was no backing down now.
"Listen Kaito, you may have many questions about all this, the purpose of me giving you a chance and all about why I chose to send you to this strange world."
He was, of course, right. Had he known how this conversation would go?
"It can all be answered if you just show me the ending you'd create. So with that, Kaito, perhaps in this new world you might finally get your chance to play the hero, or repeat your mistakes and play the villain."
Huh? What does-
"I wish you luck, human."
With that, he brought his hand up and snapped his fingers. Everything went dark.
Then it felt chilly. Wait, chilly?
I began to blink, and open my eyes. Greenery, trees, nature. I was in a forest. It really was ROTD, this is exactly how it started in the webnovel. A smile grew on my face, I really got another chance, and to think in a world with MAGIC! A dream come true for a nerd that loves isekai or webnovels of this sort. I was one of those nerds. Excuse my excitement.
"FUCK YEAHHHHHHH!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. The birds that were around me, frightened, had cawed and flew away. Oops.
I waited for a system window to pop up. This was what happened at the start of the story when the protagonist was sent to this world. Yet strangely, I never received one. I can't waste time here, if I do, it might get me killed.
In the world of ROTD the daytime was quite safe in the forest, however the night would cause monsters to appear, horrifying ones. The edgy author seemed to love gore so they created horrific monsters. What a freak. Knowing this, I set off to look for people. The protagonist obviously had overpowered abilities from the start, but I had none. So I couldn't take the same route as he did.
I may have been lazy, but even on earth I still took enough care of my body, so traversing the forest wasn't really a challenge. Strangely enough there were no wild animals. Even in the webnovel the protagonist had come into contact with some.
I had to admit though, the author of ROTD was pretty bad with setting design, this forest was kind of trashy. But hey, another world, this was like a dream come true. The ability to rewrite a story of a protagonist I hate? I couldn't be happier, sure beats how I lived on earth.
I continued through the forest, even though it was quite plain, it did feel surreal to be in another world. I also felt less tired, perhaps the existence of mana in this world made it easier on the body? Wait, I could use magic! I hope I can learn some, maybe I can even become powerful and become the hero like the protagonist. I mean surely if I save people in this world they wouldn't think I'm evil, not that it mattered. I just hope they don't mistake my actions for that of a villain.
At last, I saw people. Merchants protected by knights. Perhaps it was nobles? Either way I knew I found people, which meant I could talk to them. I began running towards them, avoiding rocks or tree roots that stuck out. One of the knights noticed me, so I waved in a friendly manner to show I'm friendly.
Something was strange though. They had their swords drawn and aimed at me.
"Wait- WAIT, I'm friendly!" I yelled out.
"Prepare the arrows, shoot the demon down, protect the prince." One of the knights ordered out to the rest of the knights.
"Huh, demon? I'm a human!"
"Accursed beast, and your filthy tongue, strike it down!"
A sudden jolt made me stop right in my tracks. My shoulder. It felt strange. I couldn't move it. I glanced to the side and saw an arrow had struck me.
Shit. They're actually going to kill me.
"It's wounded! Another arrow and then finish it off!"
Another arrow was sent flying towards me, this time striking me in my thigh.
What the hell? Why? Why is this happening?
Ah.
A design of demons in the world of ROTD was that demons possessed amethyst colored eyes. I had purple eyes.
"It's immobile! Finish it!"
One of the knights charged in and brought his sword up.
What the fuck? Seriously? I just got another chance and I can't escape being a freak even in this world? How is that fair? What have I done to deserve this?
My eyes widened as fear set in. I was going to die. I watched as the sword came flying down and prepared for it to slash through me.
And so it did. My head was lobbed off.
I began to throw up. My neck. My neck? Huh? I reached for my neck as I began to vomit on the ground. The pain of losing my head, it was still there, but I'm alive? Was this some kind of sick joke? I just entered the world and I get attacked for my appearance! How the hell am I already seen as a bad guy! Didn't Zero say I could change everything here?
I stood up from the confusion. The pain still lingered but I was alive. Wait. Zero said he gave me a special ability, was this what he meant? Did he give me the ability to loop back in time when I die? I glanced around, I was right. The birds that flew off when I yelled, they were now back. This is exactly where I first opened my eyes when he snapped his fingers. It really was a death-loop ability. Is it even worth it? The pain doesn't go away for sometime, it's almost as if the ability to go back has a trade off of an increase in pain when I come back. What if I die more gruesomely…
I looked around in confusion. A second chance… Yet I can also have as many chances as I want? Perhaps this was a blessing, why thank you Zero.
A grin spread on my face, "Alright then, I'll give you an interesting ending. I'll show you exactly how I'd write this story."