Shinji was determined to kill the girl in front of him. From the start, everything had been leading up to this moment. It made him nauseous but he couldn't stop coming so close to the end. He had to commit this heinous act.
He looked up to see his target one last time before carrying out his deed, and saw that she was laughing. A laugh so innocent that he began to have doubts.
- What's the matter with me?
He saw in this laughter a proof of humanity that he couldn't ignore; he knew he couldn't afford it, but in spite of himself he had failed in his mission. He tried to regain his composure, but that single moment of doubt and hesitation was his undoing.
- What was that?
No sooner had he heard the dry crack of a rifle bullet than he was down on one knee, hit in the back, before feeling the bullet exit through his abdomen.
This was quickly followed by a second shot, which hit him in the neck, knocking him completely to the ground.
The person who fired these shots didn't risk revealing his identity. Shinji could only laugh at the irony of his fate.
He was about to perish under the bullets of an assassin who had shown no doubts or weaknesses in his act; he was about to suffer the same fate as the one he intended to inflict on the young girl: a painful and unexpected death, leaving him with many unanswered questions.
He was no longer in control of his body; a paralysis had taken hold of it, robbing him of the freedom to fight this fateful destiny.
The pain he felt was such that he wanted to end it as soon as possible.
- Kill me, get it over with, don't leave me in this miserable state.
The moment he opened his mouth to say these words, he realised that his vocal cords had failed, leaving him without the freedom to express his thoughts one last time before his death.
He could no longer see clearly because of the blood that covered his face; all he could see in the distance was a silhouette, probably that of the foul person who had come to end his life.
- Was this how he felt in their final moments?
Even though he knew there was nothing he could do to change his fate, his body struggled to move, to find even a little warmth to feel any comfort.
The instinct to survive, which is human by nature, took over and proved to be a curse. Despite his bloodless body, the excruciating pain he felt persisted, preventing him from dying peacefully.
- I can't hear the screams of the passers-by any more.
After losing all his blood, he began to lose his humanity little by little, starting with his hearing.
He knew that this would happen sooner or later and that, until his final seconds, he would have nothing but remorse and regret for the terrible life he had led.
When he knew that death had finally come for him, he tried not to think about anything other than his parents, whom he would meet again in the afterlife.
His survival instinct faded; the pain he felt disappeared when he was finally able to accept that death had come to take him, and he devoted what consciousness he still had to finding peace in this terrible death.
- Mum, Dad?
He couldn't wait for this nightmare to end so that he could be reunited with his loved ones, whom he cherished far more than his own life.
All that remained was his ephemeral consciousness and his lifeless body.
That body made one last effort to lift its head and enjoy a few drops of rain.
A blinding light in the sky now robbed him of his sight. However, before he lost his sight, he was able to see this light, which reminded him of someone he desperately wanted to erase from his memory.
In those last moments when all he wanted was peace, this light took away the privilege of being able to dictate his emotions and made him feel indescribable hatred and anger.
He wished that the fate that had befallen him had been destined for the person he saw in that light.
As the light faded, Shinji's mind began to drift, no longer able to distinguish reality from his subconscious.
He wondered if it could just be his mind playing tricks on him and that he was really only in the comfort of his bed.
Despite this glimmer of hope, he couldn't stop himself from devoting himself to an unspeakable hatred of this person, even though he was at death's door.
- Filthy bitch!
Even though he knew it was impossible, he tried to shout out his disgust at the being of light.
He kept trying to do the impossible so that he could do what he would have liked to have done much sooner.
Although he had lost his sight, for a brief moment he had the impression of seeing a dark alleyway. It was probably just a hallucination caused by blood loss.
At that moment, Shinji and the secrets of the terrible life he had lived were no longer with us.
All he wanted was to be reunited with his parents, whom he had left alone in the world, and he gradually regained his hearing and sight. When he opened his eyes, he realised that his only wish would never be granted.
He was in total darkness; all he could see was a light, the very light that had provoked so much hatred in him. A voice emanated from it, the voice of a woman whose sadness and disappointment tore at the horizon:
- I knew this would happen; she told me so. Even you, Shinji, you ended up betraying me!
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- End of Prologue -