i wanted to do a book kinda about life struggles people go through this is based on people i know , shows and just general mental i really want to be a therapist or psychologist so this is for people having hard times this will have lots of trigger warnings if you don't like stuff with lot of mental,physical,social health and wellbeing please don't click on this / this my first time making a book and i have hard time spelling so please don't judge lot of grammar and spelling issues.
Hi i'm Ruby and this is diary I. I have really been wanting to share my thoughts to people but, I'm legally not allowed to and scared to because I have never really told anyone how I felt and feel, I know i'm a dramatic and sensitive person but I really just wanted a starting point where I felt comfortable so I finally decided to start writing in a diary because I have a lot of feelings that I can't express I just want to start from the beginning have my own feelings without being told i'm dramatic too clingy or they say stuff like I don't understand but I really do it feels like no one understands my abuse because I haven't told them so they make assumptions about me Like im rich and have the perfect life without any struggles but I do I Just really hope this diary will make me feel better.
When I was born my parents weren't really in love you could say my dad worked and sit on his butt all day and my mum took care of us everyday and night, I don't think my dad cared about me so when they got divorced when I was 4 it didn't hurt and hurt at the same time because I didn't even know him, you might say it's better to have your parents divorced before having feelings and being old enough to understand but it still hurts you know knowing what could have happened never got to be I know it was for the better and the fact is I just wanted a family, A normal family one without having parents divorced one where we hung out every other day, times where we would sleep together play board games but that never happened. My mum tried her best but I loveher but I still wanted a dad not a stubborn sit at home or worked at night and slept at day time.
They were 27 and 28 when they had me and I was there third and last child they had, they got together when they were 22,23 my mum says she wanted to have a life without worrying about taking care of her brothers alone, when her mum left as soon as she hit 18 because she hated the country because they had fled to here from their home country because of wars they were having between separating the country into two different countries my mum had a sister a younger one who died in a fire and then after that started to happen they left and moved here she says it was really hard and that she wants me and my siblings to have a better life but sometimes if feels like she never wanted to have kids in the first place still love her though taking care of 3 kids at the age of 27 on being autistic and the other one being 14 months old is hard and still have an older kid on top of that is very stressful. When my mum told me this and my older sister I felt bad and kinda felt this indifferent feeling towards my dad i knew what she said was true but what type of guy does that to a woman no your own wife like do you have an emptathy to just do that like honestly when they got divorced they didn't even need to fight in court they just decided my mum will take care of us because he didn't want the responsibilities of taking care of 3 kids he just wanted to pop in and out once in awhile anyways My mums calling me to take care of the kids so gtg
love dear : Ruby ❤️