I can say with certainty that I've never had luck in my life.
When taking tests, every time I guessed on a multiple-choice question, I was wrong. Because of this, my SAT score was cut, and I couldn't even get into the university I wanted.
My military assignment was at the frontline. Without any particular skills, I was randomly sent to the front, and as luck would have it, it was during a time when nuclear tensions were high and war seemed imminent.
When I got a job and bought a used car, unfortunately, it broke down shortly after. In the end, before a year had passed, its value was less than the repair costs, so I never got to properly drive the car and ended up living a pedestrian life.
I went to a famous psychic who read my fortune and said all my luck would pour out like a treasure trove in my later years. When she said I could advance some of that luck by giving her money, I just left.
And today, my life continued to be a series of misfortunes.
Just when I was about to handle work I hadn't been able to deal with because I was busy, my manager, who had returned from vacation in the afternoon, hounded me and hurled all sorts of abuse.
"...Johnson. It's not like I didn't give you enough time, and you could have done it, right? Did I overestimate you? It's not like you don't have to do what I ask, right? Huh? Tell me. Did I dump my work on you?"
...Well, not exactly abuse, but the manager had been poking at me like this ever since he got caught out badly last time. I had to bow my head like a criminal in front of everyone and become a parrot.
"No, sir."
It isn't the manager's work. It's just that the manager stole a privileged employee's work to climb the ladder and dumped it on me. As always, I lamented my own misfortune and downed a can of beer alone.
"This damn dog of a workplace, if I had a lot of money, I'd quit. Damn..."
But since I don't have money, I keep working here. I staggered to the convenience store to get some simple food for tomorrow. And for some reason, out of boredom, I asked the dozing clerk.
"Hey... Can you just call out six numbers? For the lottery. Haha!"
"...Sigh, alright."
The convenience store worker treated me like a nuisance customer and scribbled six numbers carelessly. I took out my wallet, and luckily, there was a $5 left from when I missed the last bus and took a taxi.
"Five of the same number!"
"...That's $5."
The clerk handed me the lottery tickets as if throwing them. I couldn't catch them in one go and had to reach out a couple of times, then paid for the rest of the items and stuffed the tickets into my pocket.
"Hehehe!"
It might just be the price of a coffee, but what if I don't drink it? Just imagining throwing a bundle of money in the manager's face with that $5 made me happy.
"Ah."
As soon as I took out my smartphone, I suddenly regretted it.
"If I collect six $5, it could be a 10-pull gacha."
I should have just spent it on the gacha game since it's not going to win anyway. I stood in place and turned on the smartphone game I often played. It was a typical defense game where you become the owner of a dungeon and summon monsters to protect it, and following the trend, it was a garbage game that included gacha even for summoning common monsters.
"No PVP, terrible story—a trash game with gacha..."
It wasn't even a pretty girl game, and most of the characters had designs that looked familiar from somewhere else, but coincidentally, I had just enough gems for a 10-pull gacha.
Should I do it? They said to wait for the limited character that's coming out in two weeks.
"I don't care, just pull and die."
When I pressed the button with my finger, $30 flew away. I wasn't a complete whale for the game company, but I did enjoy the game modestly, putting in a monthly subscription once a month. The manager's bald head is shiny, so the stars of the monsters I summon with gems should also be shiny—
"Ah, damn it."
It wasn't so. They all just had one or two shiny stars like garbage, and the best character was a 3-star "Pot-bellied Orc."
"This game sucks. How can they sell this kind of stuff for money? No conscience, tsk."
I forcibly closed the game. Just as the summon ended, I arrived at my room and threw myself onto my cheap, worn-out bed without even taking off my clothes.
"My luck is terrible..."
I was too feverish to sleep. $30 would have been enough to order pizza and still have $10 left, but it turned into something like a pot-bellied orc.
"I have no luck at all..."
I put my smartphone by my head and closed my eyes. I decided to take it easy, thinking of it as offsetting bad luck. Don't fortune tellers often say that wealth comes in the later years?
"I should just sleep."
Hoping to dream of grabbing the manager's hair.
And the next evening.
I experienced the miracle of five lottery tickets with the same number winning second prize.
"Manager Wilson is a wig-wearing bastard!"
I embraced one of the lottery tickets in my arms and thanked God. Even though it wasn't the first prize, five second prizes would be about $300,000.
"I'm quitting this company and changing jobs, damn it."
I would grab the manager's head, pull off his wig, and throw it in his face along with my resignation. And then I would take just three months off, find another job to continue working, and use the winnings as capital for financial management.
"Ahhhh! All the unhappiness until now was for today! Welcome!"
Since the second prize can be claimed at a Bank of America branch, I will take a day off on Monday and leave the company right away. I waited for Monday to come, dreaming happy dreams.
But.
The saying that luck is concentrated in the later years of life wasn't wrong.
Thud.
My consciousness became hazy, and my vision darkened. I never imagined my last stroke of luck would be five lottery tickets for second prize.
==
"That damn convenience store worker."
I should have known when he looked so nasty.
"Still, that guy got arrested for murder right away and went to prison. You were on the news, it was a big deal."
"Is that something to say to a dead person?"
"I guess not, right? Sorry. Heh."
This grim reaper is quite skilled at mockery. He's a salaryman working under someone else, yet he's taking out his work stress on me.
"It's unfair enough that I died, do you have to keep making fun of me?"
"Making fun? I'm just telling the truth. At least think of it as one big act of filial piety before you go. The lottery ticket you were holding until you died was found by a firefighter and given to your parents."
"That's a silver lining, I guess. I couldn't be a good son while alive, but I managed it in death."
"Right. Now let's get to the main point."
The grim reaper handed me a tablet. On the tablet was a contract that looked headache-inducing just from a glance.
"What is this?"
"A confidentiality agreement for reincarnation. In exchange for reincarnating with your memories intact, you agree not to tell anyone that you've been reincarnated in another world."
"That's it?"
"Yes, that's it."
The contract was very simple. Keep the secret. End. I just had to write my name to be reincarnated in another world, and I naturally questioned this suspicious contract.
"Why are you giving me this opportunity?"
"It's a kind of relief policy for poor souls who died before their natural lifespan. You can't be resurrected in your original world, but you can continue your unfulfilled life in another world."
"Is there a set lifespan?"
"No? Whether you die in an accident or of old age, that's up to you. So, are you not going to do it?"
The grim reaper tried to take the tablet back, but I pulled it towards me and pointed to the empty space in the contract.
"I died unfairly, can't you add something extra?"
"Hey. Even just reincarnating is extremely good. How can you ask for more?"
"Don't you feel sorry for me? Don't grim reapers have any humanity?"
"Humanity my foot, if I write that kind of thing, I'll have to file a report, you fool."
I learned something useless. Unlike me, a salaryman, the grim reaper was a civil servant.
"Tsk. So inflexible."
"Inflexible my foot, I'm just following the manual. I can't give you anything extra, and this is purely based on your luck."
The grim reaper changed the screen on the tablet. Even though I was holding it, the screen changed by itself, which made it clear that it was just tablet-shaped but actually something like a supernatural power.
"This is the reincarnation gacha. The world you're born into is random, the race you reincarnate as is random, and any talents or abilities you're given are also random. Is that easier to understand?"
"Oh geez. I just bombed my last gacha pull."
"But you did win the lottery. Just sign and spin. Just getting to live again is good enough."
"Is it just one spin and that's it?"
The grim reaper nodded. I now had only one chance.
"Additionally, if you don't do this, your memory will be completely erased, and you'll go to the judgment seat. You've seen the movies, right? You might go to hell—"
Gacha!
I pressed the button.
An enormous amount of light burst from the tablet, and my consciousness went dark.
I didn't know what kind of being I would be born as, but it would definitely be much better than this life.
"Oink."
I was reincarnated as an orc.