Seven years ago
"Hurry up Aurora, you're going to be late for cheer practice." Kate Hudson, my best friend, whispers as she waits for me to finish gathering my books.
"If you haven't already noticed, I am working as fast as I can." I huff loudly.
The librarian shoots the both of us a glare but does not attempt anything further. She is used to Kate and I so much by now that she knew we would only ever be silent when we wanted to be. And since we were not loud often, she settled for her glaring reminders, knowing it wouldn't do much.
"Then work faster." she retorts.
Being a high school senior and cheer captain was not easy, but I was determined to do both and, to the shock of everyone who knew me, get into Harvard Law.
And if things carried on as they were right now, I had a pretty good shot.
She keeps tapping her foot as I write the last part of my assignment.
"You have no patience whatsoever."
"I know, and you love me for it. Now hurry up!"
Kate had been my best friend since the moment my mum and I moved to New Jersey. We lived right next to each other, our mothers became friends, and we hit it off.
"Where are you rushing to anyway?"
"I have had my fill of daily quota of useful information. If I spend one more second here my brain might burst from stress." She declares.
Kate has always been a very serious student, while I was also serious occasionally, I liked adventure. She wanted to study medicine, and I wanted to study law. So we did what best friends do. Cheer each other in the direction of our dreams.
I packed my books into my pink bag, checked if we had forgotten anything, and raced after Kate's already retreating figure.
Kate walked me to the field, but that was as far as she was going to get. She hated cheer or any other form of excessive physical stress.
"See you later." She says while waving at me as I walk towards the cheer team.
"I'm not sure about that, I'm meeting with Jake tonight."
"Of course you are." She says as she rolls her eyes. She wasn't a huge fan of what Jake and I had going on. And if I was being honest, neither was I.
We were – for lack of better words – exclusive fuck buddies. He is, was, and always has been a handsome, sought-after guy. But so was I, just in a more feminine way.
We were attracted to each other and we weren't afraid to let the world know. So why wasn't he willing to call me his girlfriend?
I shake my thoughts out of my head, in every sense of it, and let the activities of being a cheerleader carry me away to a world where troubles did not exist. Even if the relief was temporary.
"Hey." Shanon, one of my cheermates, called out to me. Shanon was what everyone normally expected me to be – an annoying snob.
I did not want to respond to her greeting.
But my mother raised me with some manners, so I mumbled,d, "Hi."
"The girls and I were wondering if you'd like to join us for a party tonight."
"Whose party?"
"Warners'." Shanon looks at me skeptically and I realize what is going on, what has been for the past couple of weeks.
She and Warner keep trying to lead Jake and me apart because she wants Jake to herself, and Warner wants me for himself. But it's not happening.
Jake and I cared about each other enough that we had laughed about their attempts, once or twice.
"Sorry, but Jake and I have a date tonight. Maybe next time." I reply, then I lift my bag, throw it over my shoulders, and dash out.
"The girls and I think it would be better if you show up. We need proper friendships even outside of cheer."
"Our friendships are okay enough, Shanon. See how wonderful we all did."
I ignore whatever else she has to say and skip the rest of the way home, taking a quick shower before shooting Jake a text.
"Where are we meeting?" I ask
He doesn't see my text on time and I fling the phone on my bed. Jake doesn't normally take so long to respond.
I go back into the bathroom after picking up a package that I had hidden in my closet. I could only avoid this for so long.
I take out the pregnancy test kit and hope to a God I am not a hundred percent sure exists that I am not pregnant.
I count to ten count to ten, and count to ten again. Turning the strip upside down when what feels like three minutes passes, it reads positive.
"Oh fuck."
I am so dead. When my mum finds out, and she will, I won't hear the end of how I am nothing but a failure.
However, a part of me, the part that had envisioned a fairytale with Jake, is fucking ecstatic. So when I sit in the bathroom crying I am not entirely sure if it is tears of joy or not.
I came out of the bathroom to see Jake had replied to my text.
"My place, princess. I'd come pick you up."
His favorite emoji of the upside-down smile watches me, and I feel my lips turn up into a smile, too. Of course, Jake will make sure everything is fine. He always has.
So I dress up in my favorite beige-colored sundress, fix my hair, wear my heels, and apply a little makeup before heading down into his already waiting arms.
"Hey." His smile, like always, glows along with the rest of him. I wrap my hands around his waist as he places a kiss on my forehead.
"Hi," I respond, slightly breathless and I return his smile too.
See this is why it always feels like everything will be fine as long as I have him. As long as we have him, I correct my hand subconsciously drifting to my flat belly.
But it doesn't occur to me to wonder how much I will fall apart if I somehow manage to lose him, not that he was even mine in the first place.