Olivia stared down at her tissue, staring back at her- stained. Her expression morphed from horror-stricken to panic, no-no-no! This cannot be happening! She tied her braids up with shaky hands, but this could not be happening!! Olivia shot up and flopped back down again. What was she going to do? (The obvious thing is to get a pad, but when you are panicked, your brain doesn't work right.)
She held her head in her palms; this was her first time at his house. A sleepover over, they called it. She remembered how her sister had said adults don't have sleepovers or how excited she was packing and unpacking, re-arranging items, checking her list every hour, and just staring at the finished box and then changing it to another suitcase at the last minute.
Olivia and Nathaniel met over three months ago, the classic bumping-into-each-other meet-up. They locked eyes, and, it seems silly to say, but she knew to give them a chance. Since then, they had gone on dates, met up at parties, hung out and become serious enough that she met his dad, and he met her mum. "Like two halves colliding", her mum mused once.
This was a big step in the relationship, though. They both decided to spend a weekend at each other's house and, finally, go on a trip together to see how well they lived together.
So, when she and Nate planned this weekend, from synchronising their schedules to itemising what they would love to do together (because she loves a good checklist), she was sure everything would be perfect.
Sure, she knew there would be some ups and downs like this was her first time at a man's house for this long. She even hung the silver slip dress she had chosen for the dinner Nate had planned as their nighttime rendezvous neatly in his wardrobe, and now her mind played a bright red line engulfing the entire dress.
That made her choke on a sob. How was she going to wear it when her red friend loved to come out in streams throughout the day? That's when her head shot up in the hope of her emergency stash! That idea imploded on itself. She changed the freaking suitcase. She had no backup tampons, no pads, nothing.
Still on the toilet seat, she snatched the tissue, rolled a bulk of it off, placed it on her underpants, and waddled to the bathroom closet. She opened it before realising how absurd it was that a man would have those products.
What was more absurd, however, was that she did find those products. Olivia blinked at it before picking the pack of pads, turning it over in her hand as if to confirm its existence.
There are many scenarios to consider here, she thought, fully aware that her head throbbed like it wanted to split and her tummy gurgled; why would a man have pads and tampons? Trick question, it was for a lady.
But which lady? She just stood there with the pack in her hand and realised that standing in the toilet would not get her any answers. Nibbling her fingers, Olivia's tiny self-sabotaging voice suddenly gained the confidence it had lost throughout these past months, "this relationship felt too perfect." she would usually reply, "Just right," but today it was her voice that had no base to it. She could see it laughing at her with its finger jabbed at her nose. "I told you so!" I mean, how many men can honestly wait till marriage??
What do I do? She thought about going to him and shaking him awake, "who is she?" she barked. No, apart from the fact that she felt too nauseous and weak to shake anyone, she could not do that to him in his own house. What if... she didn't want to think of that. Her head felt like it was at its breaking point. So she retrieved her makeshift pad and put in the real one before creeping to bed.
In the morning, well, a more morning time in the morning, she would think of something. With her mind swirling, she went to sleep, where she saw many women with pads and tampon packets all shoving her and a hand gently shaking her awake.
She bolted up straight and blinked unsurely at his face.
"Hmm", she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Nate said, taking in her appearance and wondering how lucky he would be to wake up next to her for years to come. He had suggested sleeping in separate rooms, so she didn't feel like he was pushing her.
Olivia nodded and flopped back down, mumbling inaudibly.
"I made some pancakes, but the pizza place doesn't deliver them, and they are really the best. I'll just drive out and get some, okay?"
She nodded, and he pecked her on her forehead, "It's like you're running a bit of a temperature. Are you sure you are okay" he touched her head.
She mumbled something that sounded like she was fine, so he left her unsure of if he should stay or not.
Olivia didn't notice she fell asleep but when she bolted upright again, she checked her phone, and he was at the pizza place. Now she feels dirty; this location sharing was for security and to ease her own anxiety; now she is using it to spy on him??
She dragged herself to the bathroom, showered and got ready. She wore a flowy orange tube top that complemented her mocha skin tone and black shorts. Then she used all the effort she could to come out of her brows and put on mascara, then a simple lined lip with lipgloss.
She ate the pancakes he made her and tried to keep everything down. The TV shows were boring, and her mind had more pressing issues. At this point, she had decided to ask him. I mean, why would she assume? The sheer thought of having to confront him about it made her eyes drizzle to her cheeks; she cleaned it in vain as those tears were followed by the ones from her monthly abdominal troubles. Breath, she instructed herself, this weekend has to be perfect.
When Nate came home, she woke up and cleaned her cheeks. He placed the pizza on his kitchen island and chatted to her about the long cue and how too many people like pizza anyway.
"What's wrong, Olivia?" this time, he was getting an answer.
"I'm fine, I promise," she lied, giving him the most encouraging smile she could. Then she took in a deep breath and looked around, "I think I need that display in my house."
"I could set it up for you," Nate said excitedly; he placed the pizza (now transferred onto a plate on the parlour coffee table)
She inhaled its aroma, "mmmh!" she said and let out a satisfied groan when she took a bite. Nate's face lit up at her approval.
"The best pepperoni, in my opinion, and the sauce has meat in it, so it's not just pepperoni with cheese!"
She nodded to this and just kept on eating, then she clutched her stomach.
"Are you-"
Before he got the word out, she ran to the bathroom and threw it right into the toilet. He came inside and rushed to her side.
"It's okay", he was saying; maybe she was allergic? His mind raced for an explanation. It took him a second to realise she was crying.
"I'm so sorry", she choked, "I need to lie down."
He handed her a tissue, so she rinsed her mouth, flushed and cleaned the toilet seat. "Don't worry about what he had said"
She glanced at him, worry etched into every arch of his cashew skin tone, and his usually calm expression had traces of anxiety. She was devastated as he placed her on his bed. Olivia curled into his peach dove that complemented the white sheets in a creamy way. Her eyes dropped, and she scooted into the one position that made her painless. She momentarily forgot about her worries and- WHITE?!!
She jumped up, landed unbalanced, and ended up toppling over, flat on the ground; new tears formed, then sobs.
Nate rushed to her just as she covered her face. Her cheeks felt hot with embarrassment. He curdled her, "Oh my God" she choked.
"Are you sure you are okay, love? I-I mean, there are other pizza places, or you could pick the toppings-"
That did it; her tears cascaded down her cheeks as she rambled between sobs. "My period came; I planned everything; it was meant to be next week, but I-I guess I was so stressed that I messed it up. Then I opened your shelf- I am so sorry, and I used them, and my stomach hurt so much, and now I woke up and fell, and I don't want you to see me like this; I won't be surprised if you want to reschedule or you're done." She mumbles the last part primarily to herself and lets her hands drop.
Nate moved from crouched beside her to kneeling in front of her; Olivia gathered the courage to sit up and look at him; he was looking at her with an expression she could not read; she smacked her hand on her face and repeatedly mumbled, "I ruined it, I ruined it."
Nate moved closer to her and let his forehead rest on hers. She looked up and blinked her tears away. Guilt, confusion, and nausea hit her all around once- confusion won the surge of emotions that hit her as she looked into his own dejected expression.
"I am so stupid", he sighed, leaning back.
"I wanted this weekend to be perfect, so I researched everything you would need, and my dumbass bought pads! I didn't think about you seeing that and wondered- oh God, I am so sorry."
The silence was followed by a shaky laugh from Olivia. She moved closer to him and angled her body so her head could rest on his shoulder, "I cannot believe that wasn't one of the 10 scenarios I imagined, and one was a lost sister."
He let out a croaky laugh that turned into a hearty, relieved one she mirrored.
"Maybe we should eat porridge instead."
She rubbed her stomach idly, "I would like that."
Years later, this is still the best story for her children. They toppled over each other hysterically each time it was told.