"I love you"
'Thump' my heart stop beating as I was shocked by those words with tears down my cheeks. I kept repeating those words in my mind .
Vicky that's the name of my seven year long crush . He became my crush at the age where I don't know the meaning of crush ,no it should be like I know what crush is but it is different when you experience yourself. Is starting few years he was just my classmate whom I didn't even existed but because of my bestfriend constantly pursuing I started noticing him and then without my knowledge my heart choosed him.
Every day my class starts with him and end with him ,if even one day he misses school my heart ache for not seeing him . At first I thought it was just crush but slowly he became my first love and my one sided love .
Yes my one sided love as the one who he loves is not me but my bestfriend and I know it's wrong of me to assume that he would love me as his first love was my bestfriend.
As I was listening to their conversation from outside the room my other friends came from behind to celebrate our class first couple ,as I hastily cleaning my face filled with tears as not to embrass myself and I excused my self to the washroom .
'huh' what kind of joke have I made of myself. I know from starting that he would never love me but still their was hope , a hope atleast just for one moment he would consider me but know it all shattered .
I pray to god, not make him love me but to give me strength so I could get over him and start anew . I know it will take time a very long time as I loved him deeply but I will ,I will surely.
After taking deep breaths my heart calm down and my emotions stabilize. As I left washroom I hear 'devish' voice from behind , one of my classmates.
" Hey Jessica (that's my name) are you going to the class well I suggest you it better not go to the class and well like you know I really thought Vicky liked but guess what he don't"
'Haah' I really hate this guy because of him I really thought maybe Vicky's real love is me and he is Vicky's bestfriend . As I was just about to answer him I hear constant cheers come from the class . As I turned , I see what I really don't want to see ' Vicky kissing lucy' .
'Thump' my heart skipped a beat ,once again once again my heart betrayed my will and as I feel my tear will really come out if I stayed here any longer so I left . I ran ,I ran so fast I didn't know who was yelling my name behind me and I ran till my heart was about to burst and with tears I can't see anything clearly, I didn't know where I was going but I was just so my mind can forget about it and maybe I ran to let frustration out of me ' why just why I didn't tell him that I love him , why I couldn't take a single take for myself and how long am I going to be a pathetic loser , a pushover but I know , I know that I don't want to be called a bitch , a friend that betrayed, a friend that ruined her bestfriends relationship and also a friend that seduce her bestfriends relationship .
Bestfriend ,yes lucy was my bestfriend, but it's been three years since we broke our friendship but stupidly I still consider her my bestfriend ,as she was she was my first friend and bestfriend .
She was first girl to extend her hand towards me for friendship but it was me who thought of her a friend, as for her I was a servant.
When we first became friends, I was not smart at judging people ,so I thought of her as a friend who will sacrifice for me and I will for her . But she treated me like a servant ,In classes I was told to her homework ,at lunch break I will take lunch for her , and their was a time when she introduced me to seniors as who became smart after having her as a friend but only I know because of her I stopped studying and my grades dropped but still she was my first friend and I liked her then their comes Vicky .
As I was thinking about my past my vission started to blur ,my heart felt as it will explod and my breathing became heavy and I collapse 'thud' .