Chapter 11 -- I want to be worthy of you.
Louis' Point of View
I walk to Col, and freeze when I see a nearly identical painting of me. Me and Arabella, Arabella. This is quite bad, because Colette is staring at a painting of someone who looks exactly like me, dated about sixty years ago, or so, I can't remember the exact time that I met Arabella.
"Lou." Scar gasps and I play along "That is a painting of me?" "How odd, this must be what Mrs. Gold was talking about when she said that." Col frowns and I nod.
"Her name was Arabella Darwin. Arabella spoke to me about a man she fell in love with, she was with him for seven years, before he passed. He had lost someone to the war and somehow, that took a toll on his soul. He was the love of her life, and she hoped that her love would be able to save him, but he passed away sadly, and he never got to see her become the woman she was meant to be. She passed away few months, and even on her death bed, she spoke of him, of how she was ready to see him again." A man speaks, probably the man who made the painting and I stare at a painting of Bella and I.
World War II ended in 1945 and it started in 1939, I was in Germany from 1902 to 1942, I was a German Soldier, and this is a part of my life that I do not like to remember, but I lived a life. I died in 1942, when I was forty years old, and I got reincarnated almost immediately to United State, where I lived for twenty-seven years, before unfortunately dying in a shoot-out.
However, I met Bella seven years before my death, in 1962, I was weighed down by my past lives and my hunt for the cure, I was tired of the curse and wanted to be free, I was willing to do everything to be free, but I was weighed down by my past and I battled so much with my mental health, it was after the war, and I was haunted by the things I did in my past life - Arabella was like fresh air, and she loved me, I loved her in a way, but she was just an illusion of the world I could have.
"Arabella loved him and for years, she told me that she suffered from so much guilt, she wished she could have saved his life, he was young, just twenty-seven. She told me about how they were going to get married, have kids and do so much more, but when he died, her entire dream of a family perished with him, and she never married or had kids, he was the love of her life, and I made this painting to celebrate their love. She described him to me and I painted as much as I could, she passed away few months ago, I hope she is with him, now, as happy as she can be." He continues and I look at the ground.
That man was an illusion, he was not real, and yet, Arabella Darwin idolized me all her life and she died, with the hope that she would get to see me, but I am not real.
"Hey, your great grandfather was a soldier, could this have been his son, that was in love with Arabella?" Col frowns and I watch as she realizes that the man in the painting died at twenty-seven years old, which meant he never had children. It is quite complex and I feel a fire pit in my stomach, growing.
"Here. I need to make a call." I smile at her, hand her the champagne glass, I kiss her cheek and I walk out of the Gallery.
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I stand in the parking lot, smoking, overwhelmed. I have lived for four hundred and forty eight years and I am so overwhelmed and tired of living. More than often, I have wondered if death would be a respite to my situation.
My first life was in England, from 1516-1610, in a rural village, I lived till thirty four, before I died after being curse, then my second was in 1610-1628, in Morocco, I lived till eighteen years old, before I passed in a pirate raid. Then, Scotland, from 1628-1688, this was the first time that I tried to live a simple life, I passed at sixty years old, and the circle continued in Brazil, where I died at thirty one, then in India, at sixty, and so on and so forth. A never ending curse.
Being with Colette is heavenly, she is beautiful and smart and kind and patient, she is everything I am not, she is free and some times I get envious of people's freedom to do as they please, to live and die, to fall in love, to be free, because I am not. I walk to my car and pull out the gift I got for her, she is amazing and brave, and I wonder if I can say she is the best woman I have ever been with in all my life.
Colette Emerson makes me want to stay, and I am powerless against my curse.
"Hey, babe." I turn around and see her standing there, I pull off my coat and wrap it around her body "You'll catch a cold." I chide and she smiles "You have been gone a while."
"I needed a smoke, and I wanted to give you your gift." I say and pull out the books I wrapped up and the diamond earrings, she gasped "There is no occasion, why did you get me gifts?"
"Everyday with you is a blessing and there is an occasion, you are making history, the youngest and best manager this gallery has ever seen, you deserve everything in the world and I want to be worthy of you." I whisper the last part and her eyes cloud with tears, stinging my heart.
"You are already worthy of me." She avows and hugs me.