"A-and then it felt like it all fell apart! I didn't know what to do!"
In a small conference room, two boys sat across from each other. One, was visibly distressed. Dark bags hung under his eyes, his hair greasy and wild, hands twitchy, uniform offset. The other one was far more composed. His hair was…glorious to say the least, his skin perfect- practically glowing. His bright, sharp, blue eyes seemed to bear a liberating hope.
The neat boy, Attakai, spoke.
"But Yasu-san, you need to look at things from our mother's perspective, okay? She saw you using your tickle me elmo doll as a fleshlight. That would've made her plenty frightened, no?"
The super senior fiddle with his thumbs. "I-I…yeah, I guess you're right. But she took away my phone! Now I can't use Reddit, Discord, OR Jerkmate!" Tears began to stream from his eyes. A gleam of sympathy shone in Attakai's eyes.
"Well maybe- just maybe- this is for the best, Yasu-san. Think about how it made you feel when your mother caught you in the act. It wasn't great, correct?"
Yasu nodded, ashamed.
"Well, without the influence of those apps, you have space and time to grow OUT of those habits. I know your girlfriend is on Discord, and I know it will be hard to part ways, but maybe with improvement, you can get a REAL girlfriend."
Yasu's pants bulged.
"W-wow" He stammers. "I've never even CONSIDERED that!"
Attakai chuckles. "Well then. Do we have this sorted out now?"
Yasu nods fervently. "Thank you, Attakai-kun! Everyone loves you and nothing bad is going to happen to you!" Attakai smiles. "I know, Yasu. I know."
With that, the mentally challenged, semen-stained abomination rose from his seat, giving Attakai one final wave. "I really can't thank you enough! At this rate, I might be able to get a job soon!" Attakai waves back, smiling as the door closes behind his patient. Attakai leans back in his chair, propping his feet up on the table adjacent to him, pulling his phone out of his pocket. It was almost 4:30…he'd have to wrap up today's last session quickly if he wanted to make it home in time for his mother's loving and exquisite cuisine. He shot a text to his receptionist, (he was so loved and cherished by everyone that there was an entire formal hierarchy and role system within his Happy Hugs Rehabilitation Club) Hoseki Hajima, asking when he should expect his next patient.
Hoseki: He should be there soon… but if you want to sit out on this one, nobody would blame you. It's Damu Burraku.
Attakai racked his brain, but he couldn't remember anyone with that name. Must be a transfer student.
Attakai: I would never, and you know that, silly! But is he really that bad?
Hoseki: He's on his own spectrum, Kai. Really, if you need me to-
Attakai didn't even have time to finish reading, as a most foul stench seeped through his nostrils. The sharp stink of semen and absolutely repulsive odor of crusted residue in the wake of completely uncleanly body odor. Clenching his nose shut, Attakai steeled himself, putting his phone back in his pocket as the door began to open.
Standing in the doorway was a deplorable human. Damu stood at around five foot one, with completely unkempt, unshaven brown hair, dark eyebags, JUST enough of a gut to make you disrespect his eating habits, yellow teeth, braces with food caked in them, glasses with smudges LITERALLY all over, A pair of Hastune Miku shorts, teal Hatsune Miku socks, and a worn, stained and smelly Hatsune Miku hoodie.
Attakai does his best not to scream and run away, putting on a welcoming smile, and gesturing for the… creature to sit down. Damu snorts up a droplet of mucus that had been dripping FAR too close to his lip, smirking. "Why, how generous of you!" He plops into the seat, pulling out a Nintendo Switch, and with DIABOLICAL speed, opens up Hunie Pop.
"So," He snorts, wildly mashing buttons. "I'm assuming I'm here because one of you NORMIES reported me? Well, I'll have you know, the warrior of liberation will not be held at bay with such menial effort!" He lets out an uproarious shart. Attakai's face twitches as he does his best to maintain a somewhat passable smile.
"Now, there's no need to use such condescending language! There are better ways to express your feelings, you know." Attakai scolds. "Now, would you mind explaining why you were sent here today?"
"Oh," Damu says, not even looking up from his console. "I tried to kill myself."
Attakai's face grows pale- not like he wouldn't try to kill himself if he was in Damu's shoes, though.
Attakai leans forward, grasping at any substance he could work with. "And what drove you to that point?"
Damu slides his Ninintendo to the side, leaning in close. Attakai involuntarily wrenches back as his fight or flight instinct activates. Getting too close to this sinister being would mean certain death.
A disgusting grin crawls across Damu's face. "Have you seen Mushoku Tensei?"
Attakai raises a brow. Was that an anime? He only really watched highly intellectual aristocratic documentaries, so he wasn't familiar with much mainstream media.
"Ahh," Damu muses. "I'll take that as a no. See, it's about this forty year old dude who's just like me. He spends all of his time inside, being a gaming god and all that. But one day he gets hit by a bus, and is reborn into a fantasy world as a baby, and gets to breastfeed off his mom's fat tits."
There's a pause as Damu awaits Attakai to cheer. Attakai just stares back. Damu clears his throat and continues.
"Anyway, he's like, super cool. He uses his gamer knowledge and masters magic, and gets to be mentored by this super hot loli lady, who fingers herself to the sound of his parents fucking."
Another pause. More silence. Damu grimaces.
"Still not sold? Well, after, he meets this girl his age, and strips her naked cuz he thinks she's a guy- and it's SUUUUPER hot-"
"Wait."
"Yes, young one?"
"You said 'his age'. Isn't he pushing fifty now…?"
"Yeah."
Silence.
"Anyway. And then he has sex with a fifteen year old-"
Attakai slams his head against the table. "Damu. Are you telling me that you tried to kill youself in the hopes that you'd be rebirthed in another world to crack minors?"
He nods, smiling sagely. "Precisely!"
Attakai buries his face in his hands. "Damu."
"Yeeeeees?"
"What you need is real psychiatric help. I think that you struggle with some sort of dissociation disorder, and you may see things in uh… a special way. One of these things being fetishised anime children-"
Damu stands up abruptly, grabbing his Switch as he rises. "You, good sir, are uncultured. It's okay though, I suppose. You probably haven't even awakened your Sharingan yet."
"What the actual fuck are you on about."
Damu sighs like an entitled trust fund baby. "I wouldn't expect a normie to understand." He opens the door, stepping out. "Farewell! It has been fun, young one!"
Attakai slumps back into his chair as the door closes behind the degenerate, wiping the sweat from his brow. He pulls out his phone.
Attakai: I should've let you take care of that.
Hoseki: I know, Kai. I know.
—---
As he exits the main gates of the school, Attakai turns to wave to his receptionist, smiling warmly. She stares adoringly back, leaning against the doorframe as she returns the gesture. At Sankawa Third, Hoseki was widely seen as the ideal girl. Her piercing black eyes, almost glowing white skin, striking facial features, long silky black hair, and melodic, opera-like voice, made her all too desirable. However, it was common knowledge that she wanted nothing to do with anyone BUT Attakai.
In every class she shared with him, Hoseki could be seen gazing longingly at the boy, as if struck by a DEEP primordial lust. Yes, it was common knowledge…to everyone except Attakai. His sunshine and rainbows outlook left him oblivious to the matter, and he just saw her as a good friend.
Hoseki just thinks he fucking hates her and has tried to kill herself multiple times because of it.
"Oh, Kai…" She mutters, face flushing as drool drips from her mouth.
"My body yearns for you…"
"What the fuck are you doing?" A janitor slams into her from behind.
With his cart.
"You're blocking the fucking doorway, bitch."
—--
"I'm back, Mom!" Attakai chimes, setting his bag to the side as the front door closes behind him.
Attaki's home was located in the heart of Shibuya, so he was predisposed to its bustling chaos and bright lights. He had grown up in awe of the wonders of the city, and had always hoped to earn a job at Futanari Corps- a corporation based not even a block away from his residence, dedicated to the betterment of orangutan habitats in Africa. Attakai sure loves Futanari! And with his great grades, social standing, charisma, and just generally outstanding life, Attakai was sure to land this stellar job!
NOTHING bad will happen to Attakai!
"Ah! Just in time, honey!" His mom calls out from the kitchen. "I was just cooking up your favorite meal, pork cutlet! Our growing boy needs all the nutrients he can get!" Attakai smiles warmly. "Awe shucks!"
Stepping into his room, Attakai slides off his red, black, and white two hundred dollar, crease-free, cool as hell Air Force Ones, tossing his jacket aside, before flopping onto his bed.
"It sure was a tiring day…"
This was a lie. Attakai has ZERO problems in life as of now.
He looks to the left, peering out of his window, taking in the full view of the city below. Since his apartment was on the twentieth floor, Attakai had a nigh immaculate view of Tokyo.
Not that he was one to brag though.
—--
Little time passes before Attakai is prompted from his bed, brought back to reality by a most exciting call.
"Dinner is ready!" His mom exclaims brightly. Attakai grins with joy, shooting up from his bed. "Oh boy, I can't wait!" He slides on another pair of Air Forces and proceeds to the front room.
With glee, he sits down at the family dining table, fastening on his bib, waiting for his loving mother whom he will not be separated from anytime soon to appear with his food. "Gee, I sure am excited-"
This sentiment is quickly cut short by a scream.
Attakai's head whips toward the noise, his bib flying off, and without hesitation, he takes off.
"NOOOOOOOOOO ATTAKAI!!!" His mother screams.
"Sorry, mother," Attakai says coldly, sliding on a coat, and opening the door. "But I can't just stand by while someone is in distress!"
"What a hero!" She cheers.
—--
The second he crossed the threshold of the house, exiting into the hallway, Attakai knew there was no time to waste going down the stairs or taking the elevator, as his acute hearing gave him a perfect assessment of the location of the cry.
It had come from the streets below.
"It WOULD be really cool if I broke through the hallway window and started parkouring down the building and arrived on the scene with a Spiderman-esque pose…"
Attakai ponders for a moment.
"No! I mustn't think that way! I'm a law-abiding citizen!"
Attakai takes the stairs.
Finally arriving on the first floor, Attakai sprints across the lobby, holds the door open for two minutes, (a family was unpacking from vacation) before lunging out of the building.
The streets were in chaos, cars swerving left and right, slamming into buildings AND each other. Armed police were trickling slowly into the epicenter of the calamity, dodging and weaving through the panicked drivers.
The boy who was in the dead center of all of this, was…
Damu Burakku.
"JUST HIT ME GOD DAMN IT!!"
He leaps toward another car, but luckily, it manages to maneuver away in time, keeping the bastard from becoming roadkill. Landing helplessly on the floor, Damu starts to cry, pounding his fists against the asphalt.
"I JUST WANT TO FUCK A LOLI!"
One of the officers levels his AK at the boy's cranium from behind a wall of riot shields.
"STAND DOWN BITCH!! STAND DOWN BEFORE WE SLIME YOU THE FUCK OUT!!"
"NO!" A sudden voice cuts through the havoc.
Attakai, somehow seeming to appear in front of the officers, extends his arms, protecting Damu from the anticipated fire.
"DAMU IS MENTALLY CHALLENGED!! HE CAN'T HELP IT!! PLEASE LET HIM GO!!"
The armed man lowers his firearm. "Out of the fucking way kid. We don't wanna have to shove you into oncoming traffic…"
Attakai's face hardens as he steels his resolve.
"Fine then."
Leaping forth, hitting a sick double flip over a speeding Honda Civic, Attakai rushes toward Damu. Landing at his side, Attakai grabs his arm. "Damu!" He yells. "There's still time to fix this! Sure, you're already responsible for MULTIPLE deaths by the hands of vehicular manslaughter, but you can still salvage this!"
At first, Damu was silent, gazing into the sky.
Then, he spoke.
"What brand is your toothbrush?" Damu asks.
"What the fuck-"
With IMPOSSIBLE swiftness, Damu reverses Attakai's grip, twisting his wrist, before grabbing him by the neck, hoisting him into the air.
"DISASSEMBLE AND I'LL LET HIM LIVE!" Damu screams at the police, brandishing Attakai's writhing body. The police look amongst themselves, before finally resolving to do as he asked, dissembling.
"Now," The armed officer says. "Let him go.."
"Fuck no."
With Attaki in hand, Damu steps in front of a swerving Toyota.
Then everything goes black.