Chapter 1:A life no longer hers.
At what point did everything begin to fall apart?
When I was fifteen…? No, by then, it was already too late—things were far worse than they are now.
Then twelve…? No. Ten…? Yes. Maybe. No—that was when everything began, but I couldn't stop.
"Call me greedy… or selfish… or anything… but I once read a story where the protagonist went back in time and changed everything… turned all their pain into happiness." My voice shook, barely louder than the rain tapping against the window. "C-Can I do it too…?"
The moment I said it, I couldn't hold back anymore. Tears poured down my face, my chest rising and falling with shaky sobs. My nose ran, mixing with the taste of salt on my lips, but I didn't care. My fingers tightened around the window frame, gripping it like it was the only thing keeping me standing.
A girl—not quite a child, but not yet a woman—stood there, trembling. She wore clothes that should have been comfortable, yet she felt more like she was chained down, trapped in something she couldn't escape.
Brown hair, streaked with white, shimmered with hints of blue and purple beneath the storm's light. Rain crashed against the glass, thunder roared in the distance, but the storm inside her was so much worse.
I let out a hollow laugh. "Hahaha…" My voice was light, but the tears spilling down my cheeks told a different story.
When did it all begin? I thought back to the time when everything was still simple—when I was only nine or ten, oblivious to the world's cruelty.
Back to the days when I was happy.
It was a small place—not quite a town, not quite a village, something in between. Though ruled by the duke of the empire, he rarely made his presence known. He never gave off a good feeling, but at the very least, he provided us with everything we needed.
Suddenly, a sharp knock landed on my head.
"Ow…" I winced.
"What are you thinking about in the middle of a game, Flora?!" Sheil's voice rang out, loud and impatient.
I blinked, momentarily dazed. Something felt… off. I wasn't myself. Usually, I would have screamed back, laughed, and run around like I always did. But this time…
"Hehe, sorry! Let's keep playing," I said, forcing a smile.
This feeling—I had felt it before. A strange, creeping sensation, like a warning.
Whenever I got this feeling, something bad always followed.
But I pushed the thought away and ran back to the game.
Without realizing it, dusk had already settled.
I waved goodbye to Sheil.
"At least don't doze off tomorrow, Flora!" she called before disappearing down the path.
Life at home was never bright, but I always believed that a smile could change everything. So, with a bright grin, I stepped inside—only to freeze.
My mother was on the floor, her hair twisted in my father's tight grip, tears streaming down her face.
And just like that, I understood.
That heavy feeling from this morning, the one I could never explain… it always came before something bad happened. But no matter how many times I felt it, I could never bear to witness it.
Without thinking, I ran forward, my heart pounding as I grabbed onto my father's sleeve.
"Father… Please… l-leave Mother alone…" My voice trembled. I knew my words wouldn't reach him, but I still had to try.
His grip loosened—only to grab my hair instead.
"If…If... IF ONLY YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!!" he roared.
I had seen my father angry before, but this was different. My mother had been hurt before, but this was worse.
This time, something felt… wrong.
I barely had time to process before he raised his cane, the one he used to walk, aiming straight at me. I squeezed my eyes shut—
"Honey!... Please… stop."
My mother's voice cut through the air, desperate yet steady.
She was sobbing, begging, but nothing seemed to reach him.
Then she said something that made my breath hitch.
"Don't hit her… We-We can use her to solve our debt…"
I didn't quite understand.
The grip in my hair loosened, and I wasted no time clinging to my mother, burying myself in her arms.
"Use… me?" My voice was barely above a whisper.
Father was silent for a moment, as if considering her words. Then, he smiled.
"Pack your things. You're going to work."
Work…?
I turned to my mother. She was crying.
Pack? I didn't know where I was going or why, but at least… at least he was letting me go. At least he wasn't hurting her anymore.
I didn't own much—just three pieces of clothing, including the one I was wearing. It felt pointless to pack an entire bag for so little. I had nothing precious… except for one thing.
A necklace.
It was my grandmother's. When she was alive, she used to read me bedtime stories.
I miss you, Grandma....
I sobbed helplessly again.
Most of my life had been filled with nothing but tears. The only time I ever smiled—truly smiled—was when I was with my friends, playing, laughing, feeling like a normal child.
But now, none of that mattered.
Because he told me to pack and leave.
Yeah, I made it flow more like a novel with added details, but if you want it exactly as you wrote, just cleaned up a bit, here it is:
I packed my things and went to my father.
"I... I finished, Father."
Leaving home...? If it's for work...I can come to home right?
"If you are going to come like that, then definitely no one will hire you," he said, then glared at my mother.
She grabbed me, made me sit on the ground, and combed my hair before braiding it.
It was almost night, but he dragged me by the hand and took me to the duke's residence.
The duke's…? Why are we here? Am I going to work… here?
I'm just a child. What can I even do?
The guards at the gate seemed to recognize my father.
"Deans, have you got the money or what?"
I didn't understand everything, but I had some idea of the situation.
"That's why I'm here," he said.
The guards looked at me.
"You've got to be joking! What is she? Six?!"
"Eleven," he answered.
But I'm only nine.
"Who do you think you are to meet the duke as you wish?"
"I've never seen or wished to see his grace. I just want to pay my debt. His presence is too much for an peasant like me"
He pushed me forward.
The guards did not like my father one bit—I could see that—but they guided us to the nearby horse farm. There, the farm overseer stood managing the workers. The guards left us there.
The man at the farm frowned.
"Deans, why are you here?"
My father, without a hint of emotion on his face, said, "A worker at the farm costs nearly 10 or 15k a year, but I'm willing to sell her for a lifetime for only 5k, which is my debt."
He just cane right to the topic without doing or saying anything.
He even smiled, as if he was proud of himself.
Selling me? For 5k?
It's not a small amount—we could live in a private cottage for a few months with that—but selling me?!
I just stood there without saying anything, but my body trembled.
The farm overseer glared at my father.
"Deans, are you serious? It's your daughter!"
"I've never loved her. Plus, I doubt if she's even mine. Her mother used to work as a dancer."
W... What?
I tried my best not to cry, biting my tongue.
From biting too hard, my tongue began to bleed. I could taste the blood in my mouth.
The farm overseer looked at me, then at my father.
"Are you sure you will not return for her?"
My father—no, he's no longer my father—that man simply smiled.
"Do I look like that kind of person?"
They exchanged glances.
And then… that man left.
The farm overseer knelt in front of me and brushed my hair gently.
"How lovable you look. It's his loss… but I can't have you working here."
I guess I am being abandoned twice in the same day.
"But I don't have a choice," he muttered to himself.
Then, I heard his next words.
"I'm not sure if the duke would accept a girl for money… then I'll pay in Deans's stead."
I grabbed his sleeve.
I just looked at him, because if I opened my mouth, I would cry.
He brushed my hair again and chuckled.
"Haha… you heard me?"
Then he smiled.
"I'll just take that money from your salary until it reaches 5k."
I looked at him in confusion—I didn't understand anything.
"The duke won't accept people—no, just not a little girl like you—as money. So, he would have to pay you a salary, and your father needs to pay off his debt within two days.
That's why he… sent you here.
But since the duke won't accept you as payment, I will pay that money, and take your salary until it reaches 5k. Okay?"
I just stared at him, and he must have thought I still didn't understand.
"Well, the reason your father had no choice was because no one would lend that man 5k.
But I will.
For you."
He poked my nose playfully.
At that moment, I couldn't hold back anymore.
I hugged him and cried like a baby.
"You're just a baby. So cry," he whispered, as if he could hear my thoughts.
I grabbed my skirt and sobbed.
Do I finally have someone I can call… home?
At home, my father always drank and wasted all our money.
Because my mother was a dancer, he always spoke ill of her.
And them he broke her leg for dancing for money for grandma's funeral
Still, she did everything she could to keep the family alive.
I didn't have many memories of my grandmother, but the ones I did have were precious.
But she left me too soon.
So…
Can I expect a happy life here?
At least… just this once?
My father-No,That man didn't even let me say my farewell to anyone.
Even to my mother...
I know,I just met him now. I don't care if he is a bad or good man but as long as I can receive warmth words and love.
I'm ready to act even if it's just a stage play.
Because that's just how Desperae I am now for love.