I remember it clearly, the one nightmare I'm cursed by my own conscience to relive every single night when I shut my eyes for rest. The icy feeling of the snow on my skin as I played with Carolina ten years ago, attempting to make our little snowmen in front of our cozy wooden cabin. I was only eight years old back then, my sister Carolina two years younger and as her older brother, I felt an obligation to protect her with my very being. She wore a thick furry pink jacket and her rainbow striped beanie covered only part of her light brown hair which she got from our mother.

Her tiny light blue gloves dug through the snow and she gathered as much as she could while she walked towards our very untidy snowman which, oddly enough, we were proud of. The cabin itself wasn't really the big luxurious houses that everyone else in the city had, but I always loved it. My dad said that he and his brother, who died a few years back, built this cabin from scratch and installed all the electricity and plumbing before he married mom. On the outside it looks nothing more than a usual cabin, but on the inside, it was warmer than most mansions.

As soon as you enter, you are greeted with a cozy lounge that had a large couch in the centre, a TV in front of it and a fireplace in the corner. In between the couch and the TV was a small glass coffee table and a fluffy white mat, followed by two smaller tables next to the couches. The walls were perfectly cut and made to look like the interior of a normal house, with large windows and nice curtains as well as paintings and other decorations which lined the walls. To your right would be the kitchen with it's various cupboards along with a kitchen table in the middle where we'd always have our meals. In front would be a hallway that had four doors: my parents' room, the bathroom, a room that we'd put random things in, and the room Carolina and I shared.

Carolina and I were busy making the base of the snowman, and as soon as she placed down the pile of snow, she looked at me with sparkling blue eyes filled with hope and curiosity. We both shared the same eye colour, a blue that we got from both of our parents. My mother would always say that we have eyes like the vast skies, large and beautiful, then told us stories about how our father journeyed to the highest peak of the highest mountain to take a piece of the sky to shape our eyes.

We would always giggle at her tales and often we'd even believe it while we would hear our father playing his guitar in the distance. The only difference between Carolina and I was that I had pure black hair, similar to our father's, but he had patches of silver-grey in them.

Carolina patted the snow on the second layer of the snowman and shaped it so that it looked as round as a six-year-old can make it.

"Samuel! Don't just stand there! Come and help me!" She yelled with a light voice while crossing her arms and pretending to make a frustrated face.

It would always be the cutest thing ever, she'd scrunch her face together like she just ate a lemon and squint her eyes while she stomped her tiny foot on the ground with a pout. I grinned at her and shook my head at her expression, then bent down and scooped up an even larger amount of snow than she did.

She looked at me with amazement at the amount of snow I scooped, clearly she looked up to me as her big brother, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I set the snow on top of her pile, which made it even larger, and before we knew it, our snowman had its shape. Carolina ran to the back a bit to look at our masterpiece, although she looked at it with a disappointed look.

"What's wrong?" I called out in a confused tone, but Carolina simply shook her head frustratingly.

"It's not right, there's something missing." She muttered with disappointment etched in her voice.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it." I replied with a confident tone, knowing exactly what it was missing.

I quickly ran to the front door, opened it and made my way for the kitchen. I opened the small silver fridge which sat in the corner of the kitchen and searched through its contents before I finally found what I was searching for. I grabbed the long carrot and stuffed it inside my pocket, then ran to my parents' room. I slowly opened the door and peered inside, remembering it was only my mother at home while my father had left for the city. The door creaked slightly, which made my heart beat faster, but as soon as it was open enough I crept inside silently.

The room was relatively big compared to the rest of the house, with a king-sized bed in the center and a large chandelier above it, which was turned off. On either side of the bed was a small cupboard, and on the other side of the room was a large dresser accompanied by a mirror that was larger than myself. There was another cupboard next to the dresser, a tall one that stretched the entire length of the wall. Beside it was a long polished wooden plank mounted to the wall with hooks protruding from it, which had exactly what I was looking for hanging on it. Dad's long scarf that he always wears and his funny black hat, along with his thick winter coat that he wears in the winter storms.

I held my breath as I crept forward, careful not to make a single sound so that I didn't wake my mother. She could be cranky in the mornings, and I did not want to wake her up when she doesn't have her coffee. I was already halfway through the dark room and my heart was beating faster and faster, my younger self making it as if it was one of the spy movies my father watches.

I tip-toed my way through and finally got to the middle of my top secret mission, carefully lifting the coat first and throwing it over my shoulder while I wrapped the scarf around my neck. I placed the hat on my head which immediately fell and covered my eyes, causing me to slightly chuckle as I raised it from my line of sight.

Half of the mission completed.

I silently made my way back out, the door seemingly further away than before while the light only streamed in slightly through the door. "You can do this" I urged myself through my thoughts, giving me slight adrenaline which pumped through my veins while I walked. Finally, I got to the door and slipped out, discretely closing it behind me and sighing from the tension. I quickly made my way outside to my waiting little sister whose face lit up at the sight of me.

She laughed softly, a sweet melody while I placed the carrot into the head of the snowman, slipped the scarf around it along with the coat which slid off slightly but I adjusted it. I bent down and picked up a few black stones which dotted the front lawn, then placed it as the eyes along with a mouth and finally, the hat. With the snowman completed, I walked next to Carolina who was buzzing with excitement and looked at me with an even bigger sparkle in her eyes than all the stars in the heavens and earth combined.

"It's amazing!" She giggled as she hugged me tightly and I patted her head.

"Anything for my baby sister." I teased even though she has protested many times at the name.

"That is a very amazing snowman. I hope it doesn't get cold with my jacket on." Came a deep voice filled with appreciation and love.

"Daddy!" Carolina called out instantly, running towards him and jumping on him. He instantly dropped the grocery bags and caught her quickly, then raised her high in the air while spinning around. Both of them laughed delightfully while they spun around until he finally set her down and keeled.

"And where did my little princess manage to find my clothes for her snowman?" He asked with a mischievous grin on his face, which caused Carolina to giggle once more.

"I'm afraid it's our little prince that dressed the snowman." Came a light voice which seemed like it came from an angel as my mother walked outside with a blanket wrapped around her tightly and a cup of coffee in her hand.

She placed a hand on my messy hair which was loose since I left my beanie in the house and rubbed her hand through it. I looked up into her ice blue eyes and giggled while she lead me to my father who was still kneeling. As if it was possible, my father's expression became as warm as summer when he looked at me and placed a hand on my shoulder, then pulled me into a hug which I happily returned.

"Come, it's cold outside." My mother stated which caused my father to release his grip and finally stand to his full height once more. He really was a mountain of a man.

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my mother's lips before Carolina grabbed my mother's hand and started to jump up and down excitedly.

"What do you think of our snowman mommy?" She asked in a squeaky voice filled with enthusiasm and energy which caused my mother to emit another warm smile.

"I think that your snowman is wonderful, what's his name?" My mother asked as she placed a hand on Carolina's shoulder, although she froze and stood in place, heavy in thought.

"I think I'll call him, Henry?" She replied in more of a question as she glanced over to me, and I nodded while showing her a thumbs up. She giggled and stared back at my mother who was still smiling.

"Well, I hope that our little Henry wouldn't mind lending me my jacket for a few." My father commented with a chuckle which I returned happily.

"Alright alright I'll go get it." I muttered as I walked over to Henry, our little snowman, and carefully slid my father's jacket from the round snow body. A few pieces at the back fell off, but nothing that I wouldn't be able to fix. I walked over to my father and raised the jacket for him to take and he did so delightfully as he lifted it by the collar and dusted some snow off.

"Come on, there's hot cocoa inside. First one in gets marshmallows!" My mother yelled which caused Carolina to immediately start sprinting. I quickly caught up to her, both of us laughing loudly, although I purposefully ran a bit slower than I usually do so that she could believe that she won and be happy with her little victory. She always got excited with marshmallows.

I remember this one time there was a big packet of marshmallows hidden in one of the grocery cupboards and Carolina managed to get her hands on it. She ate the entire bag in under ten minutes and was intending to lie about not eating it but her guilt ate at her faster than she did the marshmallows and she immediately confessed to our father, who simply laughed at her even though she felt overwhelmed with guilt.

"I win I win!" She exclaimed joyously as she reached the entrance to the cabin. I came up behind her and looked at the table in the centre of the kitchen which had two cups placed on it with steam rising from it.

I always wondered how Mother could do things like make hot cocoa so quickly.

I walked over to the table and pulled out a chair, then turned around and hoisted Carolina onto it since she was too little to get on it herself.

I took a seat next to her and moved her pink cup towards her, then reached over and moved my black cup closer to me. I smiled when I saw that both of our cups had the exact same amount of hot cocoa in them, plus the same amount of marshmallows in them. Mother always was fair between the two of us. I took a sip of the hot cocoa, feeling its warmth spread down my throat and warm my belly, causing me to smile. I looked over at Carolina who too was smiling while she used a spoon to play around with the marshmallows floating on top of the warm brown liquid.

"Why do you think mommy and daddy wanted us to live so far from everyone else?" She asked me and I was caught off guard by the sudden question. For some reason there was a hint of seriousness in her tone, which was unusual because of her love for being playful.

"Probably so that we don't grow up like the bad people on TV." I replied honestly, when I felt something itchy in my throat. I gave off a slight cough which, as my mother came inside the cabin, made her slightly worried.

She walked up next to me and placed a hand on my forehead before looking at me with a worried expression.

"You're coming up with a fever." She stated with a concerned tone, but I simply shook my head with hints of stubbornness. I barely got sick anyway.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." I said, genuinely meaning it because I didn't feel sickly or anything. Unfortunately for me, I should've listened to her.

My coughing worsened day by day, my mother and father hoping that it was just a common flu that'll pass with simple antibiotics. I was bedridden for two weeks straight, and finally after the second week my parents decided to take me to a hospital.

"I'll take him alone, you stay here with Carolina." My father instructed, but I slowly shook my head. I was still in bed, my mother sitting close to me while my father sat on a chair with Carolina cradled on his lap. She was holding onto his neck and she was already in a deep sleep, the fact that she wasn't sick as well provided only slightly eased my thoughts.

"I...want mommy...with me..." I managed to wheeze out before going into another coughing fit. I raised my hand to my mouth which caused an unfamiliar taste to touch my tongue. It had a weird copper taste to it and was slightly thicker than water, but because of my coughing fit, the liquid splattered on my hand.

I retracted my hands which immediately shook at the sight before me, my crimson blood dripping from my hand and onto my blanket. My mother quickly took a cloth and wiped it up, then stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. Her face was visibly in pain, as if she too was as sick as I was, a pain that only a mother can feel for her child.

"Let's go." My father immediately instructed, not wasting a single moment as he threw over his coat and scooped me up. My blanket was still over my body, which provided me with a bit of warmth while my body seemed to grow colder as my father carried me through the cabin.

Carolina was wiping her eyes from sleep while holding our mother's hand, clearly she wasn't sleeping enough. Although when she looked at me, the look of sadness and pain in her eyes when she saw how weak I looked, that was a pain that sent a pang of guilt through my very being. I was supposed to be the big, strong older brother that would protect his little sister through anything.

I was supposed to stop hurricanes or journey through dimensions like the heroes in the books my mother read to Carolina and I before we slept, not a weak little boy who couldn't get over a small cold.

"I promise I will become stronger for you." I thought to myself, unable to form any words.

After what felt like an hour, my father finally reached the car waiting outside of the cabin. My mother opened the door and Carolina quickly hopped in, then my father set me gently down in the backseat. I looked up to see that Carolina was cradling my head and stroking my hair gently, as if trying to calm me down.

"Look after your big brother while we get to a hospital, alright?" My mother instructed her, and she nodded vigorously, excited for a chance to finally take care of her older brother who had cared and protected her for years.

My mother slid the door closed and got into the front seat, and in a matter of moments we were off. The sound of the car driving on the road and the soft vibrations pulled at my consciousness, trying to drag me to sleep along with the dark clouds in the skies threatening to rain, but I refused to. I looked at my little sister who stared at me with scared crystal eyes, but she knew not to let a single tear fall.

It's one of the things we promised each other in the little pillow fortresses that I made for us.

Mother would always spoil us with candies while we hid in there as if the world couldn't reach us, as if we were ruling a giant kingdom as brother and sister until we'd fall asleep and wake up in our beds. We promised each other that no matter what happens we wouldn't shed a single tear for each other. We promised that we would be strong for each other and help each other no matter what, and I internally smiled at the fact that she was still keeping that promise even though I was being rushed to the hospital.

After around half an hour, we finally reached the nearest hospital where my father once more gently lifted me out of the car with my blanket still covering my body and we entered the hospital.

It was my very first time in a hospital since we rarely needed one, plus we never went out into the city, so being in one was a whole new land. Although the new land was short-lived, when I went into another coughing fit while my mother went to speak to a lady behind a desk. My father sat down on the many wooden chairs lined with a comfy cushion with me on his lap as he held my back with his left hand so that I sat upright with Carolina sweetly holding my other hand and whispering for me to get better. Practically forcing me to.

After another few minutes, a tall woman with blonde hair and brown eyes walked towards us dressed in light blue clothes and introduced herself as Doctor Ross. My father stood up while he held onto me tightly to greet her and tell her my symptoms, then Doctor Ross instructed him to take me to one of the rooms. He nodded and followed her while I turned my head to see my mother took a seat on one of the wooden chairs. Carolina on the other hand was still standing with her hands fumbling with her jacket and looking at me with a worried expression before mouthing 'get better' and squinting her eyes at me.

I slightly chuckled at her action, although when the blue doors closed and she was out of sight, my stomach dropped. Why was everything blue in this place?

As if the universe timed it perfectly, I began coughing as soon as my father was nearly at one of the rooms, but unfortunately my coughing didn't stop. He set me down on a comfortable white bed that was enclosed by a light blue curtain and had different types of machinery on either side that I hadn't seen before.

Doctor Ross informed my father that he had to leave while she checked my condition, and I could see how reluctant he was to leave his sick son's side. Eventually he did, probably to sit with my mother and comfort her, leaving me alone with Doctor Ross. It was then that things took a turn for the worse. I felt more blood coming from my throat while I coughed, too much blood. I couldn't breathe. I attempted to pull some air into my lungs desperately, but my blood blocked all passage to my trachea.

I felt hands push my right side and felt my body tilt so that I was facing the other side of the bed and threw up all the blood in my mouth. I could breathe again, but barely. That was when I finally noticed that my hearing gave up on me, and I became practically deaf as I saw three more doctors rush towards me. Time seemed to slow down and my vision was becoming more blurred by the second, until it was replaced by darkness which crept over me like a blanket of coldness. Was I passing out?

The next time I opened my eyes, it was sunny again, the warm rays streaming through the open window. I tried to shield my eyes from it, but for some reason, my body felt much heavier than usual. I turned my gaze downwards and saw some plastic looking device covering my nose and mouth, most probably to help me breathe which I was grateful for. My hearing and sight had returned which made me slightly relieved since I didn't want to live either deaf or blind, but I was so caught up on my senses that I didn't hear someone enter the room.

I turned my gaze to see it was Doctor Ross, who was excitedly smiling as she walked towards me. She removed the plastic mask and pressed a button on a remote next to the bed which made the top half slowly move up until I was sitting up straight. She moved a chair next to the bed and plopped onto it, the smile on her face not fading in the slightest while she looked down at her clipboard.

"How are you feeling?" She asked me with a curious expression, and for a few moments I thought.

"I feel okay. Was I unconscious for long?" I replied while asking a question of my own because I could feel my body was more stiff than usual.

"A week." Doctor Ross stated flatly which made me open my eyes wide in shock. A week?! How could I even be out that long?

"Where is my mom and dad?" I immediately asked, hoping to see them as soon as possible, excited to see my sister and tell them that I'm okay.

But the words that came out of her mouth was a poison which contaminated my soul for years after. A poison which tore me in half and forced me to go through life as if I was alone.

"Your parents haven't come to see you yet." She replied, which wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that they hadn't come to see me since.