I stared out the window at nothing in particular.
I had thought swimming in my head and a feeling I couldn't get rid of.
I felt…violated. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, waiting to be shed but no, thank you. Crying was for wimps and spineless cowards…I will be the princess Noah. I will do my duty and I won't spend another day whining about how unfair life was.
There was a knock on the door and I turned around in time to see Eva Belle walk inside. She had a frown on her face, she must have been worried for me.
I would have sent for her but after learning that the long dreaded contract marriage was finally going to be executed, I needed an hour to myself...an hour to be just me, not my father's bargaining chip or my mother's prized possession.
An hour to be Nicolette Octaleign Aurora Hackett - N.O. A. H. For short.
I stared at the array of dresses on my bed. I was required to pick the best…only the best to meet my future husband, Kincade.
Briefly, I wondered what he was like.
Was he nice and kind? What kind of ice cream does he like? Will he stay up with me at night watching cartoons and animation or would he shrug me off and place me in a corner like the goods he was forced to acquire?
Will Kincade like me? Could he fall in love with me given the chance?
And if yes, why was it that for the twenty one years we were betrothed, he never called or texted me, all I got was the occasional birthday cards stamped by the seal of Essex.
Who are you, Kincade Everhart?
Are you an angel or Are you the demon I could feel in my soul that you are? The demon that keeps me up at night.
I took a deep breath and looked at my best friend.
So, now you know why Eva Belle had to wait. And now she was here, worried and concerned.
"Is...is ... it...it time yet? Has Kincade a-a-arrived?" I asked her as soon as she walked inside the room.
Eva Belle didn't answer my question immediately. Instead she watched me like a mother hen, looking for signs of injury.
"Are you alright, Sweetie? Who's head am I going after?"
I watched my best friend.
She was a pretty little thing…Eva Belle Icarus - petite, fiery redhead with a personality that was larger than life.
She had a playful, whimsical style that was all her own. Think flowing skirts, colorful scarves, and layers of eclectic jewelry that jingled and clinked as she moved. Her smile was infectious, and her laughter was a joyous, throaty sound that could light up a room.
But don't let her whimsical appearance fool you – Eva Belle was sharp-witted, fiercely loyal, and unafraid to speak her mind. She was a true friend, a confidante, and a partner in crime. And I was lucky to have had her by my side…except today.
I didn't want her to see me like this - fractured Noah, afraid to perform her duties to her country.
And so, I pressed my lips together and gave her my best smile.
"I'm p-perfect. Shall we proceed with the engagement, now. M-may I meet my future husband?" I asked her.
She came closer and she hugged me. It was supposed to be a short hug, just enough to comfort me but not long enough to break down my walls but Eva Belle refused to let go.
"Engagement has been called off, Noah" she whispered.
I pushed her away. "I'm sorry, w-what?!"
"The King of Essex just informed your father and they are calling off the engagement. They will be here soon enough to tell you, I just wanted you to be prepared" Eva Belle told me.
I felt a squeeze in my stomach.
"Why?" I asked Eva Belle, my voice shaking.
She came closer and tried to hug me again but I took a step back. I didn't need hugs, I needed answers.
"S-speak already, B-belly! Why?" I asked her.
Eva Belle was quiet for a few seconds, like she was trying to come to terms with the ramifications of her words…like she needed a minute before she could drop the bomb.
"Eva B-belle!" I screamed her name. Not knowing was killing me. I would rather know than not know.
"They think they can find a better match for Prince Kincade, Noah. They are pulling out because the marriage contract that was made twenty one years ago is no longer favorable to them. They think they can do better with a richer country and a richer girl. And therefore, they are"
I knew Eva Belle was dancing around the main subject.
"I-is it-it because of my st-stutter?" I asked her. "A s-stuttering girl is...is no good as Queen, is that...that right?"
"Noah, Kincade is just an asshole who doesn't know a good thing even though it has been staring him in the face for twenty one years. Mother fucking maggot that's what he is!"
Of course, it was the stutter.
"I c-can't h-help it!" I screamed in frustration, tempted to do something as outrageous as pulling out my hairs with my bare hands.
"Noah…"
Eva Belle came closer to me. Her eyes dimmed in concern and her arms tightly clasped together to prevent herself from touching me because she knew I didn't want to be touched.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. It's not your fault, a marriage contract between a human girl and an alpha wolf was bound to fail despite your little quirk, sweetie" She forced me to look at her. "It's not your fault-"
Eva Belle barely finished her statement when the door of my bedroom burst open and my parents barged inside without knocking.
Eva Belle warned me that they were coming but it was just reflex when I took a couple of steps back in fear, afraid that my father might just keep the promise that he had made several times in the past and throw me out the three storey building.
"N-not my f-fault, Dad" I yelled out even before they said anything to me. "N-not m-my fault. Please"
My father's face was purple with rage. If I thought he was angry yesterday over my inability to be a perfect docile daughter, I was grossly mistaken.
This was anger in an undiluted form.
"You foolish…foolish girl! I send you to the best school to prepare for your role as his wife. I bring in tutors, spend a little fortune on dresses and nutritionists...and you turn out to be a bloody defective product!"
He took a step closer and I took one back, afraid that trying to speak would anger him more.
"Answer me!" He yelled.
"S-sorry" I quickly murmured and took another step back.
It was weird. But when I think of monsters out to get me, he was always the first face I see…mother was the second. "Sorry, D-daddy" I murmured again.
I was so afraid. My stomach was in knots and my heart was so out of control, I was so sure he would reach out and today would finally be the day he would physically hurt me.
Charles Hackett wasn't so much sympathetic as he was ready to commit murder.
"Do you have any idea of the ramifications of this action? Our country's alliance with Prince Kincade's kingdom was everything!. Our trade agreements, our military alliances... everything is at risk because of your plainness and your defectiveness!"
I felt a cold dread creep up my spine. "N-not defective!" I screamed at him, tears running down my face. "J-just different"
My father's voice dropped to a menacing whisper. "Defective" he said "And you've not only ruined your own life, Nicolette. You've put our entire country at risk. Do you know what will happen to our people if this alliance falls apart? What will happen to our economy, our military, our very way of life?"
I felt a wave of fear wash over me. "S-sorry, D-daddy" I choked out. "I w-will f-fix it"
My father's eyes bored into mine, filled with anger and disappointment. "Fixed this. Beg…grovel, whore yourself out to Kincade, hell, his father too…fixed this or we are done. This country would be done. Do you understand me?"
I was too afraid to speak. So, I nodded.
They stormed out and my shaky legs gave out.