Me, Eight, and Leaner sat together while eating our rations. We were all quieter than usual. All of us were so desperate to make this last day together count, to make every word meaningful, that we seemed to shy away from saying anything at all.
As we neared the end of morning rations and still not a single word had been exchanged, Eight finally broke and raised her voice passionately, "We need to think positive!"
Me and Leaner looked up at her in surprise before locking our confused gazes with each other and then back to her.
"There is always a chance we all become librarians in the same section, right?"
I sighed, my eyes heavy before as I responded, "Chances of that happening are slim at best, Eight. You know that."
Eight's expression grew upset at my words, but before she could spin a responce, Leaner jumped in.
"Yeah, I wouldn't get your hopes up, Eight," he said in an unusually comforting tone.
This didn't alleviate the disappointment on Eight's face. "Yeah, the chance is low, but there's still a chance, and I believe in that chance," she asserted.
I smiled at her, admiring her passion. "Okay, okay, fine. How about this—if we get put as librarians, once you go through the departure portal, wait there for ten minutes before leaving to see if any of us come through."
Leaner looked over, seemingly ready to tear my plan apart, but after exchanging a quick glance with Eight his surprised expression faded into a sly grin. "All right, sounds like a plan."
With that, we finished our food and headed back to class for our final lessons. Master went over what would be expected of us depending on where we were stationed. After a couple of hours, we left the classroom and began heading to the combat facility to take part in our final training session of the day... our final training session ever.
We entered the glossy black building and were greeted by the sight of many white dueling platforms lining the center. We broke up into groups and began taking turns sparring with our practice swords. I won my match this time... then again, I wasn't sparring against Vance. I wasn't bad at sword fighting—I just never really gave it enough effort, it felt more like a pointless song and dance for the top more then any meaningful practice.
Keepers... what was I thinking? If I wanted to be in the keepers, I should have tried harder, done more... but its too late now, tomorrow is deployment.
I finished sparring and went to eat end-of-day rations. We all felt more comfortable talking now than we did earlier. Because unlike earlier, we weren't talking like we would never see each other again; we were talking like a week from now, we'd be able to wake up and see each other again, just as we had for the last eighteen years.
Was it a pipe dream? Yes, but nonetheless, I couldn't help letting myself and my friends get wrapped up in this fantasy to put our minds at ease in this final night together... this final time eating together.
My final time seeing Eight's warm smile and that hair she always kept longer than everyone else's. I'll never get to hear her ramble about her number having so many eights in it. I'll never get to see Leaner's sneaky grin or hear that sarcasm I've grown so used to. That laziness that always haunted him. I-I'll...
"Teller?" The voice popped me out of my own head
"Yeah?" I said while looking up at Eight
She gave me a concerned look. "Y-you're crying."
I gasped, stumbling around my words as I wiped my hand across my face, erasing the tears like a mistake on paper.
"You okay, Teller?" Leaner asked, looking more genuine then usual.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine."
He gave me a look of disbelief. "Whatever you say, man." He turned back to his food without further fuss, but Eight didn't drop it so easily.
"its gonna be okay, Teller," she said softly.
I smiled at her. "I know."
After finishing, we made our way back to the barracks and headed to bed. I laid in my bunk and stared up at the roof, just thinking.
I'd been through eighteen different farms in my life, but all of them were exactly the same. In every one, I'd been on the third bunk and had the same view looking up at the black glossy ceiling above me for the last eighteen years. But by this time tomorrow, for the first time ever, I'd fall asleep with a different view above me, and that view would be the last one I'd ever fall asleep to for the rest of my life.
These thoughts gave me a rush of nervousness and anxiety but along with them excitement pride, for to serve the High counsel is to serve myself. And after a while these thoughts carried me to sleep. Trust without question, obey without doubt, look do not see.