I stood before it, an unyielding box that held the remnants of a life that once shimmered with possibility. Six years had passed since I last stood on this ground, yet time had folded in on itself, and here I was, tethered to the past in a way I never anticipated.
I could hardly recognize the faces that surrounded me—hollowed eyes and whispered condolences blurred into a murmur of grief, but my focus remained fixed on the polished wood, the delicate engravings that seemed to mock my very presence. Each breath I took felt like a betrayal, a reminder that I had walked away while they remained, anchored here, in the town we all once dreamed of escaping.
I remembered the laughter that had spilled from our lips like sunlight, the secrets shared beneath the sprawling oak tree, and the warmth of hands intertwined during stolen moments. We were invincible then, two hearts beating in sync, oblivious to the cruel twist of fate that would eventually pull us apart. I had thought time would soften the edges of our shared history, but now it felt like jagged glass, piercing and raw.
As I approached the coffin, every step felt monumental, laden with the weight of missed opportunities and unspoken words. I could almost hear her voice, teasing me, challenging me to confront the truth that lay beneath the surface of our fractured relationship. Regret coiled around my heart like a serpent, squeezing tighter with each passing second. I had left, chasing dreams that felt so far away, while she had remained, rooted in the very life we had crafted together.
I reached out, my fingers trembling as they brushed against the cool surface of the coffin. It was surreal, the finality of it all, the understanding that I would never again hear her laughter or feel the warmth of her presence. My mind raced, replaying the moments we'd shared—the laughter, the tears, the love that had once burned so brightly. But the fire had been extinguished, snuffed out by the relentless march of time and circumstance.
The world around me faded, the voices of mourners becoming a distant echo. In that moment, I was alone, trapped in a whirlwind of memories and sorrow. I could no longer escape the truth: I had lost her, not just to death, but to my own choices, to the distance I had created between us. The ache in my chest was a physical manifestation of the void she left behind, a chasm that would never be filled. One I couldn't help but believe was my own doing.
As I stood there, tears threatening to spill over, I whispered her name— a promise, a farewell. In the silence that followed, I felt the weight of my guilt, the burden of all that I had left unsaid. The coffin before me was not just a vessel for her body; it was a tomb for our once-vibrant dreams, a testament to a love that had slipped through my fingers like sand. Romance aside, what we had as a family, all five of us, was unmatched.
I stood in that moment, suspended in time, wrestling with the shadows of my heart. The world moved on outside, but for me, everything had come to a halt, forever marked by this loss, forever haunted by the ghost of what could have been.
I shook myself out of it. I was getting noticed and It only served to further my guilt. I began to push into the fairly large crowd. It seemed a decent bit of the town was here. Hana's folks ran a pretty popular cafe, so it made sense they would be here too. I continued to walk, trying to end up in the back of the crowd. I still felt out of place being there, like an outsider. I could feel the stares from the others as I walked through. I finally pushed to the back, furthest away from all the eyes. That proved to be my own undoing. I spotted a figure entering the hall, their gaze fixed on me. His mouth was in a snarl so vicious it was as if he was looking at something repulsing. He walked up to me, his parted, chestnut hair swaying as he took a hard stop, only a foot away from me. I could tell his fists were already balled up by how tense his arms were.
"What are you doing here?" He said through gritted teeth. I kept quiet, simply staring back at him with a blank expression. "You're still the same bastard who abandoned us. Too good to even speak to me huh? Is that it? Am I too much of a country bum now? The high and mighty detective can't spare a few words for me huh…" His attempts to aggravate me failed. My eyes only dropped further, a shine glossing over them. "Say something already!" He cocked his fist back, with a windup so predictable anyone could have evaded it. Yet I couldn't move. I stood frozen in place as the fist connected with my cheekbone. It was more like a single knuckle did, leaving a cut across my cheek. He began to shiver as he looked like he was fighting to not throw a second one. I heard the clacking of heels to the side of me before Akari jumped between us, shoving us apart. I was in such a trance I didn't realize, stumbling back into the wall. I blinked a couple times, registering what had happened.
Akari stood in front of me with her arms spread. A crowd was beginning to stare. "Are you an idiot Sebastian! Here? Really?"
He looked away. "I didn't mean to."
Akari just stared at him, her frowns of irritation turning mellow. She let out a sigh. "Just go cool off or something. There's already so much we're all dealing with as is. I don't need this to add onto it.
"Yeah," he muttered before slinking away back into the crowd.
Akari grabbed my chin, whipping my head so that the wound faced her. "Ow!"
"That's a nasty cut. Wait." She ran off towards the door. I wiped my cheek at her comment, a smear of blood pasted on my hands. I stood staring at it, finally feeling the sting on my cheek. By the time she returned,the majority of the people had arrived. She came jogging to me with a piece of gauze and plasters. She stood on her toes, pasting the dressing onto my wound. I thanked her as she put the last plaster over it to keep it in place.
Someone had called out her name. We both turned to see a tall, red headed man with freckles. He smiled as he hunched over, embracing her in a hug. "I'm sorry about everything, Akari. I know this isn't easy to go through. I hope you know I'm here if you need anything."
Her cheek was squashed against his shoulder, making her one squish close. "Thanks Joseph. I appreciate it. You're feeling this as much as me, don't think your smile is fooling anyone."
He straightened, causing me to tilt my head up. "You're her sister, I should worry more about you."
"Joseph?" I asked. The tall man in front of me seemed a complete stranger. He held the same hair color and name as my old friend, but there was no way. His image flashed, and I saw a scrawny kid, a head shorter than me, who always had his head down and eyes low. This felt like a fantasy version.
His eyes went wide. "No way? Ellis? Really?" He squeezed me in a hug too, like a beartrap, I couldn't move as he clasped his arms over mine. "That really you? You're back dude?"
"I sure am."
Akari began to walk off. "It's starting soon, I need to head back."
The procession started. We all sat on our knees. Joseph leaned his shoulder into mine, bringing his voice down to a low whisper. "So Mister detective, I'm assuming you're not just here for some karaoke and old stories?"
I shook my head.
"I figured." He pointed his nose to a girl on the left side. She was blonde with a single braid behind her back. "See her."
"Yeah?"
"Kimber Allison. That's the only witness. Apparently, Hana was down by the Kheti's side of the island. More like just close enough. Kim says she heard guns being fired, and when she rounded the corner, she found Hana."
My brows furrowed. The Kheti was a slum of sorts. What was she doing even near there? "Autopsy report?"
"I'm working on getting it. Something about this doesn't say it was just a random hit and run." The monk, an old teacher of ours, called me up to assist. As I stood, Joseph gave one more whisper. "I'll phone you tonight."
I simply nodded.
When the funeral had ended, I waited outside for Akari. I had pulled the blazer off, slinging it over my shoulder. My tie was loose, and the top buttons undone. She had come out almost last, after everyone had finished giving their condolences. I hadn't seen Joseph leaving, assuming he went out back. I did see Sebastian however, and his expression when noticing me was nothing short of foul. Akari finally came out, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks streaked from tears.
"You alright?"
She gave a tight smile, walking past without saying anything else. I trailed behind her, taking the hint of silence and letting our way home, be filled with the ambience of my former childhood.