I stand dramatically in front of the absurdly large gates of one of the three most prestigious magic academies. Seriously, these stone arches reach so high they're probably poking a passing dragon in the butt. Glowing runes flicker ominously all around—because who doesn't love mystical, pointless decorations?
Magic practically oozes from the air, thick enough to slap me in the face. Even without any magical talent (thanks for nothing, universe!), I can sense this place is equally adept at conjuring miracles and causing total catastrophes.
In the distance, students in fancy robes chatter away—probably about whose wand is bigger. Suddenly, an explosion rattles my ears. Is it an epic magical duel, or did another clueless moron try summoning a demon without reading the manual? Honestly, either option feels equally likely.
I let out a deep, weary sigh.
How the hell did my life end up like a crappy web novel?...
Let's rewind to yesterday.
Just 24 hours ago, I was your typical university graduate celebrating freedom from education with friends, loud music, and unhealthy amounts of booze—the universal recipe for questionable decisions. It was your classic farewell party, with everyone promising to stay in touch despite knowing we'll never speak again. Life was good until…
Here's where reality goes off the rails. Mid-party, I remember feeling oddly existential, like when you suddenly remember an embarrassing childhood memory. Then bam—instant blackout. No memory of going home, falling, tripping, or drunk-dialing my ex. Just darkness.
I woke up to find myself not in bed, but face-down in a damp, filthy alley.
Initial thought: "Wow, did I seriously out-drink myself into another dimension?" Maybe my friends pulled a prank. Maybe a random thug decided alleyways needed more unconscious bodies. But once I got to my feet, I realized something was seriously screwed up.
My body... was all wrong.
Instead of my gloriously average adult self, I was looking down at skinny child arms, noodle-like and pathetic.
I blinked slowly, glancing around at the narrow, grimy alley. Garbage piles? Check. Broken buildings? Check. Horses clopping nearby? Wait—horses? Right on cue, a carriage zoomed past like it escaped a budget fantasy movie.
And that's when the plot twist slapped me in the face:
Oh my god. I've been isekai'd.
Just like in those trashy novels and addictive webtoons I'd mock but secretly binge-read.
But if I've reincarnated, then...
How did I die?
My last memories: Drinking. Partying. Laughing at terrible jokes. Then nothing.
Did someone kill me?
I shivered. Maybe it was an accident, a tragic head injury caused by a rogue beer pong ball. Alcohol poisoning was plausible too. Honestly, I didn't really want to know. Bottom line—I was stuck here, so whining about it wouldn't change much.
Right on cue, a transparent window flashed in front of my eyes:
Welcome to the Trolling System!
"WHAT THE ACTUAL—?!"I nearly toppled over, waving my skinny arms like a frantic windmill.
Great. So now I'm officially hallucinating.
Well, at least I got a cheat power, right? Though knowing my luck, it's probably cursed.
Would you like to see your stats and open the beginner's gift box?
"Could you dial it down a notch?! I already have an existential crisis to deal with!"
Wait. I know this drill from novels. Here comes the cliché—
"STATUS!"
[Loading…]
The system deliberately paused, as if enjoying my suffering.
"You absolute troll… you're loving this, aren't you?"
Finally, the status popped up:
[Status]
Name: Felix Wider
Age: 10 (Physically), 0 (Mentally—at least according to my parents)
Race: Human (Absolute Nobody)
Class: None (Sad, isn't it?)
Level: 1 (Seriously, start grinding, loser.)
Innate Attributes (Fixed for life—enjoy your suffering!):
Luck: 30 (Just unlucky enough to trip over nothing)
Magic Talent: 0 (Yes, ZERO. The universe is laughing at you.)
Combat Talent: 10 (Average. Could punch a goblin, then probably die.)
Intelligence: 100 (Congrats, genius nerd, maybe use it to invent pizza?)
Persistence: 30 (Stubborn enough to keep failing spectacularly.)
Normal Attributes:
Mana: 10 (Wow, average! You're impressively mediocre!)
Strength: 9 (Can lift a slightly heavy pillow)
Agility: 8 (Grace of a drunk penguin)
Stamina: 5 (Would collapse from running to the fridge) Charisma: 8 (Forgettable face syndrome)
I stared in disbelief.
"Are you freaking serious? A world filled with magic and my magical talent is zero?"
This had to be the ultimate troll move.
Ah, right, it's literally called the Trolling System. Well played, cosmic jerk.
I sighed again.
Open beginner's package?
"Sure, why not? Hit me."
Congratulations! You received:
Bread (yay, carbs! Won't starve for at least a month.) Random Skill (brace for disappointment!)
I clicked to claim it, mentally preparing myself for disaster.
Congrats! You obtained the skill: "Unlucky/Lucky," Lv.1
Description:
Your luck is now -50. Misfortune is your new best friend.
BUT! If you're about to die, luck temporarily rises to 50 (which still sucks, but hey, slightly better odds of not instantly becoming corpse stew.)
"Wow. Seriously? Did I offend the goddess of luck in a past life?"
The system was suspiciously quiet, probably giggling somewhere.
Check available quests?
Sure, why not dig the hole even deeper…
[Quests]
Main Quest:
Drive the three Great Mages completely insane!
- Reward: ??? (probably death)
- Penalty: ??? (definitely death)
Side Quests:
Increase stamina from 5 to 7
- Reward: 100 Troll Coins (Whatever those are)
- Penalty: Stamina drops by 3 (basically turning into a breathing corpse)
Enter one of the three prestigious academies within one year
- Reward: Magic Talent +1 (Yes, from zero to basically zero!)
- Penalty: Death (No pressure, kid.)
I stared at the quest list, silently questioning my sanity.
I leaned against the cold wall, gazing upward at the gloomy sky. The system gave me plenty of absurd objectives but absolutely no helpful guidance. The main quest—to troll three incredibly powerful mages into madness—felt like a cruel joke. Problem was, the joke might kill me faster than I could yell, "It's just a prank, bro!"
Who were these mages anyway? Were they Gandalf-level terrifying or just edgy wizards with fragile egos? How exactly was I supposed to annoy them to insanity without ending up barbecued?
Most importantly—WHY? Actually, scratch that, I probably didn't want to know.
Even the side quests were sadistic. Improving stamina seemed doable, but the penalty made me wonder if a heart attack was included free of charge. And the academy… nothing screams "fun" like death as punishment for failing an entrance exam.
But apparently, choices weren't really a thing here.
Another deep sigh.
Alright, Felix. Step one: Figure out the rules of this lunatic world.
Time for reconnaissance—and inevitably, disaster.