Jung Hyo-suk was 18 years old. His gaze was cold, fixed. He felt no emotion. He stood there, in his room, as if the world didn't exist around him. The light was dim, the atmosphere bleak. He had never understood why he didn't feel anything. One day, he had watched his hand scratch, a searing pain spreading under the skin, and he felt nothing. Pain, intensity, none of it even touched him anymore.
"When I was little, she used to come over often," he thought, remembering his girlfriend. "Her mother and mine knew each other. I never saw her father. Her mother didn't like talking about him. One day, my mother bought a scraper and started scratching my hands with it. When her parents asked what had happened, he said he had scratched his hand and just wanted to know if he could feel pain."
He didn't cry. No one understood why. The doctor told his mother it was probably because the pain was so intense that his body couldn't interpret it, a rare case, but it could happen.
"At first, they said that with time, it would get better."
But with time, things didn't improve. She had started killing animals. First ants, then cockroaches, mice… But that wasn't enough. She needed something more. Something more intense.
"Everything changed the day the neighbor's cat was found dead," he thought. "No one knew why, but I had a little idea."
He would've wanted to ask her if she had killed it, but she had moved away without warning. When he asked his mother, she told him that his father had gotten into trouble and they had to move immediately. He didn't understand, but he didn't care.
He recalled those memories with a certain detachment, as though it all didn't matter.
"I don't know why I didn't feel anything, or why she did that," he told himself.
He slowly twirled a knife between his fingers. He placed it under his pillow and got up. His thoughts were dark, as always. He was used to this emptiness that filled him.
In the morning, he went downstairs. The house was modest, slightly messy. His father, Jung Dong-ki, a rather chubby and naive man, was in the kitchen, pouring cereal into a bowl.
"Hey, my boy! Did you sleep well?" his father asked, a sincere smile on his face.
Hyo-suk sat down wordlessly, his gaze lost in space, fixed on the wall in front of him. His father continued speaking cheerfully.
"I saw you fixed the garage door. Thanks, you're a good kid." He laughed softly.
Hyo-suk stared at him for a moment, then looked away. He didn't answer. His father didn't understand. How could he?
"My father's an idiot," thought Hyo-suk. "He thinks we're close, that he treats me the best way possible, but that's not true."
He stood up, letting his father continue talking, but he wasn't listening anymore. His thoughts were elsewhere. He briefly wondered what would happen if he shoved a knife into his father's throat. But he quickly dismissed the thought. He didn't even care. It would be too simple, too easy.
At school, the bell rang. The students walked out in groups. Among them, Han So-yeon walked confidently. She bumped into a girl who was staring at her disdainfully. A provocative smile appeared on her face.
"This world is full of assholes," thought Han So-yeon.
She stopped and looked at Hyo-suk, sitting under a tree, his face impassive. He didn't move. She observed him for a moment, then walked over to him.
"You look weird. Can I sit?" she asked without hesitation.
He didn't answer, didn't even look at her. She sat down beside him, intrigued.
"I'm Han So-yeon, but my friends call me So-yeon. And you?" she asked.
Silence. Still nothing. But she didn't give up. She continued to look at him.
"Tell me, you've killed someone, right?"
Hyo-suk slowly turned his head toward her, surprised by the question. She burst out laughing.
"Hahaha, I'm kidding," she added, smiling. "You're a creepy guy. I like it."
He stared at her, wondering if she knew what was going on in his head. Maybe she would be the first victim of his girlfriend. Maybe she would disappear if she got too close to him. But it was just speculation after all.
"Maybe it'll be her," he thought. "Maybe she'll be the first."
That evening, Han So-yeon slammed the door behind her as she entered her house. Her mother, Koo Hae-soo, was on the couch with her husband, Han Joon-ho. He smiled at her with a smile she didn't like.
"Hey, princess," he said in a tone that made her uneasy.
Han So-yeon didn't respond. She went upstairs to her room, ignoring her mother's sigh.
"So-yeon, stop being so rude…" her mother murmured.
She collapsed on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts spun in circles.
"I really want to disappear," she thought, feeling more alone than ever.
That evening, Hyo-suk lay down in his bed. He took out his knife, twirled it between his fingers, then placed it under his pillow. His thoughts drifted, focusing on Han So-yeon. She was strange. He found her intriguing. But it was nothing compared to the violence hidden inside him.
"Han So-yeon. She could be the first…" He got lost in his thoughts.
The next day, he found her at school. She suddenly asked him:
"I'm tired of this school. Aren't you? Always doing the same thing, seeing the same people every day? Let's leave."
He stared at her, then nodded slowly.
"Why not, it could be an interesting experience," he thought.
That evening, they met at Han So-yeon's place.
Koo Hae-soo: "Honey, you brought someone home, who's this?"
Han So-yeon: "No one, Mom. Just a friend."
Koo Hae-soo: "As if you have friends. We'll all see in this house."
She closed the door behind them and turned to him.
"Tell me, how long has it been since you last had sex?" she asked, her tone light, almost amused.
Hyo-suk didn't answer. She moved closer and closer to him, shamelessly.
"You're a virgin, huh?" she added, smiling.
He nodded. She burst out laughing.
"You're weird. Since I've been talking to you, you haven't even said a word. But I don't mind," she said. "Come on, let's get out of here."
In the end, Hyo-suk went home with the intention of running away with her. His father tried to stop him when he took the car.
The engine hummed softly beneath his tense fingers, but Hyo-suk didn't hear anything anymore. He felt like everything was happening outside of him, as if his thoughts and his body no longer formed a whole, detached from reality. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to feel anything anymore.
"What are you doing, Hyo-suk? You don't even have a license, and if you get caught by the cops, what will you say?" His father's voice, hoarse and desperate, reached him like a distant echo. Jung Dong-ki's words were lost in the storm of Hyo-suk's thoughts, but the next moment, a cold anger rose within him. He felt it, like a dark flame in his gut.
He turned abruptly, staring at his father.
"This is what I don't like about you. You're always putting me down, treating me like a kid… I'm sick of it, you know? Stop acting like you're the perfect father!" Hyo-suk shouted, his voice trembling with rage. "Ever since Mom left, I feel like you're trying to replace her, but you're not her, damn it! You'll never be…"
His father's gaze lasted, disappointed, but Hyo-suk didn't stop. He felt his own voice shake with rage, but it was the only way to chase away the icy emptiness that had gripped him for so long. A void that no words seemed to fill.
Jung Dong-ki, standing a little straighter, replied in an angry tone, his words sharp as knives:
"Whether you consider me an unworthy father or incapable, that doesn't bother me in the slightest. But when you talk about your deceased mother like that, I can't even express how disappointed I am in you."
The words hit Hyo-suk like a punch to the gut. He felt his throat tighten, his heart twist, and before he could stop himself, an unexpected pain surged through him. Tears rose, burning, uncontrollable.
"I don't let you talk about her like that, do you hear me?" Hyo-suk sobbed, his voice broken by rage and pain. "I've always wondered how someone as full of heart and virtuous as her ended up with someone like you…"
His father, eyes full of reproach, shouted "Hyo-suk!" angrily, but it had no effect. Hyo-suk, eyes blurred with tears, only got closer to the truth he hated so much. He let out the words, the truths that had been stuck in his throat for too long.
"What?" he screamed, staring at his father, his anger taking the form of black fire. "You don't like hearing the truth, huh? If you don't want to feel inferior, let me go and don't follow me, okay?"
The rage in his father seemed palpable, but Hyo-suk no longer had the strength to hold back his own demons. He turned away, his legs trembling but determined. He wanted to leave, never to relive this kind of confrontation again.
"Hyo-suk, wait…"
Jung Dong-ki tried to stop him, but he didn't even get the chance to approach before Hyo-suk, in a burst of pure violence, struck him in the face. The sound of the impact echoed in the room, and his father fell back, his nose bleeding.
Hyo-suk didn't even look at the scene. He walked toward the door, his whole body tense like a bowstring ready to snap. He knew what he was going to do, and he wasn't going to let regret stop him. Not now. Not after everything he had felt.
"I told you to let me go, damn it!" he shouted, his voice cold, icy.
He got into the car, started it abruptly, and drove off, leaving behind the scene, the words, and his devastated father.
The night air was thick with silence when he arrived at the meeting place. The car stopped abruptly, and Hyo-suk waited without moving. He didn't really have a plan, didn't really have a destination in mind. But a part of him knew it didn't matter. Everything had become blurry.
The headlights of the car illuminated a figure approaching, but it wasn't So-yeon. Kim Ji-young, with her nervous smile and eyes sparkling with misplaced excitement, entered the vehicle, ignoring the heaviness in the air. Hyo-suk stared at her for a moment, confusion painting his face. Why was she here? What was she doing here, in her place?
She burst out laughing, her tone effervescent and imbued with a madness he couldn't understand.
"We're going on a damn road trip," she announced with energy, completely lacking sense.
But Hyo-suk didn't answer. He simply stared at the road, his eyes empty, drifting. He no longer had any bearings. His mind was occupied with one persistent thought.
Where is So-yeon? What has she done to me? Am I the next to disappear?
He tried to push the fear away, but it sank deeper and deeper inside him. He wondered if this emptiness he felt wasn't simply waiting… Waiting for an end he couldn't avoid.
And if Kim Ji-young was here beside him, just to be the first victim of whatever remained of him? He turned to her, emotionless, pitiless, and thought.
If that's the case, then I won't let it happen. I'll kill you before you kill me.
His eyes closed for a moment, as if he wanted to hide from what was happening inside him. But the voice in his head kept speaking, telling him that it was too late to turn back.
We'll see who the real psychopath is and who kills the other first.