"come on honey let me see your report" said mom.

I was nervous to see her reaction, I couldn't even look her in her eyes. my hands were shaking as I held a piece of paper that will determine my whole future and whether I get a punishment or not. "it's not that bad is it?" she asked . I kept quiet and the silence between us was so deafening I couldn't take it anymore.

"Here, I tried my best"

I slowly reach out to give her my report card and looked away knowing very well she's gonna be very disappointed in me. I've always been an 'A' student but this time I don't know what went wrong and to think I'll be repeating a grade was never something I could have ever imagined. "What happened?, is this a prank or something ", she asked me as she slowly reached for her glasses to double-check as if everything on that paper all of a sudden became blurry for her version. "Mum, please...don't". I could feel my eyes as they start to get watery and few teardrops ran slowly down my cheeks. I felt like a failure, worthless and very stupid, why me? what did I do wrong, am I really that stupid?.

I knew that something must have happened and maybe I did something and being punished for it but, at the end of the day those were my marks, I wrote those exams and it felt right and I made sure to study extra hard, I even went to group studies even though I am an introvert and hate people 'not in a bad way or anything I just prefer my own company and solitude'. I had trouble with other subjects like math and physics but a whole complete fail is not what I expected, let alone my mum who had believed in me.

"You should have done better" those were her final words before she got up and left me alone in my room to deal with my own thoughts. I knew it. I am a failure and I bet she's already planning for us to move. I guess the worst she could have done is shout at me but I heard it in her tone that she was not just disappointed but ashamed of me, 'what a hush punishment' I thought to myself. I had big dreams for myself but all of that is ruined and I messed up my whole future. I hope things don't get worse for me but I'll deal with that tomorrow, for now I just wanna cry myself to sleep and hopefully never wake up again.

The night felt long due to the pain I felt in my heart. I felt all alone in the dark as I stare at the ceiling trying to gather my thoughts. It was dawn and time for me to wake up and deal with what I call reality.

'what now?'

I asked myself, 'am I really going back to school like this? what are my friends going to think of me'. I try to calm myself down and ignore the negative thoughts that I keep having and to think the whole school is going to know that I am a loser for sure and an idiot too. I can't go back to the same school, I won't be able to survive the whole year, let along a single hour being in that place I call 'Hell' because it sure does feel like one to me.

I check my phone for any messages but I know I'm just going to ignore them, I am not ready to deal with anyone. I drag myself out of bed and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I sigh 'It's gonna be one hectic year for me' I thought to myself. I make my way to the kitchen to grab something to eat, which is funny because I don't even have appetite to eat anything but still decided to grab a banana.

"Look who decided to get up early today" said mum in a sarcastic tone. 

"well, I couldn't sleep" I said as I avoided eye contact as always. My mum always had this intimating look in her eyes plus I'm just naturally scared of her and after what happened yesterday I don't think I'll ever be able to maintain eye contact with her. I just wish I could go back in time, in an era where both my parents have met and made sure they didn't have me.

'The world would have been a better place without me', I thought to myself.

School starts in two months so I still have time to decide whether I can convince my mum to change me schools or I plan my own funeral, either way I don't have to deal with any humiliation at my old school.

"We still need to talk about your report, I can not believe my own bright child will disappoint me like this"

'ouch, that cut real deep'. I would say she is being dramatic but it was true, I did disappoint her a lot

If you feel like that, imagine how shitty I feel right now . Mum. She's not even helping right now, a little bit of sympathy will do right now. My whole day is already ruined at this point.