[Claw and Fang Tax·Part 1]
Scene 1: Spiral Ring Plaza
(Moonlight solidifies into silver amber dangling between pine needles. Fox tax collector enters with 12 blood-stained abacuses coiled in tail)
Fox (stomping rotten maple leaves as beat):
"Ears sharp like radio towers tall / Paws stompin' inflation's festering scar"
"Tax rate's 88% this moon's call / Can't pay? We'll take eyeballs as collateral!"
(SFX: Crow drops bronze gong "CLANG!")
Narrator (V.O.): "Ladies and germs, welcome to Folding Forest's Black Monday—even mushrooms pay spore respiration tax!"
Hedgehog (missing three rows of spines):
"Paid winter reserves yesterday's night / New tax bill's stuck where sun don't shine right"
"Your beads grind my kidneys with spite / Since when my backbone's your keyboard's delight?"
Fox (plucking hedgehog spines for abacus):
"Resource cycling economy / Your pain's sweet coins clinking in melody"
"Taste this moon-amber candy free / One lick makes mama's face a blurry memory!"
(Hedgehog licks tax stamp glue and starts robot dance)
Narrator (V.O.): "PSA: Never trust a taxman's treats—last raccoon who bit now sells his fur for receipts!"
Scene 2: Mole Resistance Radio
(Glowworm Morse code blinks in mine walls. Five moles drum magnetic ore with tails)
Mole A (sulphur fumes flaring from nostrils):
"They play number games up high / We forge metal beats 'neath the sky"
"Every tooth's a bomb yet to fly / Every turd hides rebellion's guidebook sly!"
(Woodpecker court's "tock-tock" verdict echoes through strata)
Mole B (shoving mushroom spores into ears):
"Hear that racket, bro? That pecker's judging trees"
"Charged with tax evasion via growth rings / Growth rings! Pfft—what a joke!"
Mole Choir (pickaxes slamming dubstep quakes):
"When exploiters' beads start to prance / Let gravity teach 'em to dance"
"Magma credit card's final chance / All fake accounts melt to truth's granite stance!"
Narrator (V.O.): "Underground beats ain't just music—see Mole Three carving protest tracks in uric acid crystals!"
Scene 3: Lion King's Chemical Carnival
(Limping lion soaks in golden broth. Crow nurse inserts mercury thermometer anally)
Lion King (pupils fractalizing):
"Galaxy rivers through my veins / Fox says it's collagen for sovereign brains"
"Why do minions grind teeth in the rains? / Must be praising my blessings through pain!"
Crow (sprinkling glowing placenta dust):
"Time for Diaper Brand: Chrysanthemum / Your morning shit sings Phantom's anthem"
"New tax scheme fresh from the kingdom— / Dreamspeak luxury tax on syllabub!"
(Fox emerges from lion's tail fur suddenly)
Fox (tossing flea jerky into broth):
"Latest polls clearly show—"
"99.9% gladly die for your glow"
"Especially their brains... I mean hearts below!"
Narrator (V.O.): "Let's toast to His Majesty's wisdom! After all, he's sippin' the forest's priciest Kool-Aid potion..."
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[Claw and Fang Tax·Part 2]
Scene 6: Menstrual Mint Meltdown
(Female mole alliance smelting magnetite coins in uterine furnaces)
Mole C (dripping menstrual blood into magma):
"They call our flow cursed juice / We turn it to economic nuke"
"Each coin stamped with womb's reproof / That's what real hard currency looks!"
(Coin surfaces reveal "F**k the Lion King" relief sculpture)
Narrator (V.O.): "Behold punk economics at its finest—even Wall Street can't short-sell their minty freshness!"
Mole D (whiskers singed by furnace blaze):
"But yesterday's 3000 coins / Now worth three flea turds in the swine"
"Fox peddles NFT garbage online / Says virtual dung's the new goldmine"
Mole E (writing equations with blood):
"They siphon blood with algorithm tricks / We crash their system with menstrual kicks"
"When all coins bleed synchronized / The whole forest cramps paralyzed!"
(Underground river floods the mint, coins detonate)
Narrator (V.O.): "Pro tip: Never store feminist crypto in FoxBank™—their vaults are literally sponges!"
Scene 7: Placenta Soup Revelation
(Crow nurse fishes placenta fragments with forceps)
Crow (holding tissue to moonlight):
"Umbilical cord tied in fancy bows / Tag #9527 matches missing doe"
"So-called immortality elixir flows / From formaldehyde-placenta snows"
Lion King (bath bubbling neon green):
"I smell freedom's market perfume / Is Fox kissing folks in my room?"
"Fill my seventh stomach with love's bloom / Wait... why's love smell like baby shoes?"
(Fox emerges from anal thermometer)
Fox (pouring melatonin tincture):
"This is crowd-sourced loyalty / 99.9% purity!"
"Placenta? Don't be absurd / It's meta-protein™, haven't you heard?"
Narrator (V.O.): "His Majesty's clueless as your UberEats driver about 'secret sauce' ingredients!"
Scene 8: Ribcage Rapocalypse
(Woodpecker Judge vs. Fox in intestine-draped confessional)
Woodpecker (pecking ribcage microphone):
"You tweaked tax decimals sly / Stamped squirrel balls with "Official Lie""
"Guilty as sin's third spine high / Confess, you mink-wrapped shitpile!"
Fox (tail sparking static electricity):
"You etched confessions in bark / While hoarding crypto-tree-mark!"
"Those wig parasites you keep / Sold verdicts to roaches cheap!"
(Organ beatbox duel ensues)
Woodpecker (ripping chest cavity open):
"My law's beak and iron claw / Your gold's just puke on my floor!"
Fox (waving anal-fur wallet):
"But my puke buys your wife's core / And her unborn brats three more!"
Narrator (V.O.): "This showdown proves: Power vs. Capital's like choosing between chocolate-flavored shit or..."
Scene 9: Freedom Canister Fiasco
(Raccoon peddles vacuum-sealed "Liberty Air" cans)
Honey Badger (shaking can):
"Promised pure freedom breeze / All I hear's fart-like empty tease"
"Even the label's fake trees / Stolen from Windows 98 screens!"
Raccoon (crocodile tears gleaming):
"Freedom's flavor's in your mind / Like believing lions are kind!"
"Limited offer—legs I'll break / (Bares bloody fangs) For your sake!"
(Mole inserts rebel coin into vending machine)
Vendor (spews 300 cans):
"Congratulations! You've won:
25% nitrogen + 75% con
Truth serum sold separately—gone!"
(Cans explode into tornado vortex)
Narrator (V.O.): "Behold freedom's true face—a collective gasp for unpaid airspace!"
Finale: Eternal Spiral
(All creatures fossilized in amber, tax forms still growing)
Fox (petrified with abacus):
"Remember kids—chains ain't required / Price their despair, they'll sell souls inspired"
Mole (mid-coin throw frozen):
"But we planted fire underground / In wombs, in turds, in..."
(Sealed in amber's silent sound)
Lion King (crystalized genitals):
"I see heaven's gate / Where taxes never..."
("Inflate" dissolves with morning dew's weight)
Narrator (V.O.): "No metaphors here—just like IRS never lies. Now breathe deep (tax: $3.8/mL per sigh)"
(Bloodmoon opens third eye staring down)
Bloodmoon (rap):
"Think you've escaped our twisted wood? / Check your phone's battery hood!"
"That's your lifeblood countdown crude / Charger's the new leash, dude!"
(Curtain falls with fangs chewing credits)
[Epilogue in Glitch Text]
"Thank you for consuming this tale. Auto-debited from your soul:
🔸 1oz rebel spirit (69% APR)
🔸 3 drops dark humor (installment plan)
🔸 All epiphanies (service fee)
See you in the next cognitive zoo~"