Tick,tock,tick,tock..... the sound echoes thru out the empty room. Darkness is all that can be seen. I try to speak but even as I form the words no sound comes out. Only that one sound, tick tock tick tock. I can't see the clock but it is all that sounds in this abyss filled darkness. Where? Where is it? I can't go on like this. This can't be the end.... Can it? This isn't how it was suppose to go. This isn't how I was suppose to die. I'm so pathetic to let myself go out like this. Nonetheless, she is safe. She will always be safe no matter how many times I have to die, she will live.
THE BEGINING
All life is precious.... BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, sorry. I couldn't say that and not laugh. It would be more accurate to say most life is precious. The world would be better without some people, don't you agree? What about the abuser, the rapist, the murderer? Is their life precious? What about the mother or father that beats their child? Maybe he shouldn't of cried. Even if he was hungry, even if the marks they left on him hurt, even if he did nothing wrong. Should he of sat in silence, slowly starving and dying inside as to not be a burden? Why must a child make these choices? Why is there such evil in the world? What makes life worth living? Is it joy, love, family? Is it hope, or dreams or is it just so we don't feel like we have given up? Was it wrong to speak about what happened to him? Should he of said nothing so that bastard could of done it to someone else? Would it of been his fault or would it have been just life, unfair and unloving life? I have always wondered this. Was there something I could of done to stop it. Would it of changed who I was today. Would she still exist just in a different way, a better way. Less hurt and worry. Would she have a better father and a better life? Love is not always enough. Love dies, life ends and those left behind continue on. That is the error and beauty of life as a human. These answers may never be found, but we can hope they will one day.... can't we?
I set the pen down as I read what will be my final words. Tears fill my eyes as realization hits me that the end is near. The phone rings making me jump nearly out of my skin.
"Hello baby girl. How are u feeling today?" A voice as soft as it is angelic responds with such joy and love it breaks my heart more then it was already.
"DADDY!! Hi, I miss you so much. What are you doing?"
" Nothing sweetie, just waiting for you to call. How was your day today?" Even at 7 she was smarter and more mature then she should of been. With a slight hesitation she says " Good. We went to the park and mommy and her took me to dinner and guess what?! I ate like 100 pounds of ice cream! It was your favorite... Chocolate!!"
My eyes start to cry again even as the smile spreads across my face.
" I'm glad your having so much fun beautifuls." My voice breaks on the last word as I try to gather myself I hear her voice, almost a whisper asking me " Daddy? When will you be happy again? I don't like it when your sad. I miss all the days we had together.."
" I know sweetie. Soon it will all get better I promise.... I love you no matter what. You know that right?"
"Of course I do daddy. I love you with all my heart. I got to go. Heres mommy....." Before I can say anything else she is gone. The next voice I hear fills my blood with ice. " When are you going to do right? She deserves better then you for a father. That's why I left you. You were never enough for me and now your not enough for her. I wish you would just disappear so she can forget about you." CLICK... So I ask again, is every life precious?
My arm feels weak as the phone falls to the floor. Why am I always surprised? I knew this was how she was even before she did what she did. Some how I still try to think of her as the person I use to love, that use to love me. Standing gets harder as I slump to the floor. Staring at the ceiling light starts to fade and thoughts become harder to form.i guess this is it, the pills are finally working. ( I hope she can be happy for years to come, my beautiful athena).
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TICK TOCK TICK TOCK....
(HOW DARE YOU? YOU THINK THE LIFE I GAVE YOU CAN BE THROWN AWAY JUST LIKE THAT? ITS NOT YOUR CHOICE WHEN IT ENDS... ITS MINE. SO SUFFER SOME MORE AND I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN....)
White light fills my head as my eyes flash open. Everything is blurry and out of focus as I try to look around.
"Whats wrong with him? He doesn't cry." My eyes stop on a man towering over me as if he was a giant. I try to push him back, but the hand that moves in front of me is that of a baby... I wave and the baby hand waves. " Look! Look. He is waving at me. I told you he was ok Arlene." Big strong hands lift me up and move me over my head to a lady. She is pale and covered in sweat. Staring at me with big green eyes full of love as shel says " He is so beautiful. He looks just like you Aaron. My beautiful little Alonso." The man's voice reaches my ears as he chuckles " Alonso? Like your father? Hahahahaha!! Well if that's what you want to call him then Alonso it is. Alonso Allister McCoy. It has a nice ring to it don't it Arl--" BOOOOMMMMM!!!!! Intense heat can be felt on my skin. I hear screaming as the heat starts to die away. " Run Aaron. Protect him no matter what. They must not find him. RUNNNNN...." Cold air hits me as I feel myself sway in Aarons arms. I'm guessing he is running cause the sound of the fire burning gets quieter and quieter. All that can be heard now is the sound of his heavy breathing and his feet slamming on the ground with each and every step. Crushing leaves and twigs as he ran and ran and ran. He must of fell cause next I know I feel the ground and rolling till I stop. Opening my eyes I'm staring into the face of the man named Aaron as he looks at me and says " Live, never give up. I love you son." With that he looks past me to someone behind me and says with his dying breath " Please save him. My son Alonso....." The light in his eyes dies as I see past him to an arrow sticking out of his back. Beyond that a creature snarls and starts to walk towards me but stops. The look on its face shows hesitation and fear. Suddenly a shadow falls over me followed by a booming thunderous voice " SOLARIS FIRARE"! The creature burst into flames as it ran away barreling thru the forest back the way it came. Kind hands wrap around me and lift me up as a soft voice says " Damn Treylerd. Always so aggressive... Well hello, aren't you a strange one. Little Alonso. I am called Myriad. I will protect you from now on."