Tajima Sanzo, the 669th Demon King, sat on top of a giant, kneeling Stone Guardian, rubbing his temples as he processed his life choices.
On one hand, his army was growing.
On the other hand, his army was growing in the dumbest way possible.
Fenra, his deadly wolf-girl general, was leaning against the massive rock monster, arms crossed, grinning at him like he was some kind of idiot (which, to be fair, he was).
Raviria, his drop-kick enthusiast, was practicing aerial flips off the Guardian's shoulders, ignoring the fact that this thing could probably crush her with a flick.
Mimi, his shapeshifting Slime Empress, was happily bouncing around on the Guardian's head like it was a playground.
Beelzecluck, his monocled chicken overlord, stood on the Guardian's shoulder, gazing down at the world like a disapproving noble watching a peasant riot.
And Nyx, his Nightmare Hound, was sitting beside him, wagging its tail, its demonic eyes glowing menacingly while looking way too happy.
Tajima buried his face in his hands.
"…I have a pet rock now."
The system chimed in cheerfully.
[CORRECTION: YOU HAVE AN OVERPOWERED PET ROCK NOW.]
Tajima let out a long sigh.
---
Fenra smirked. "So, what's next, 'Great Demon King?' Do we tame a dragon? Recruit a demon whale? Find a sentient tornado?"
Tajima tensed.
Mimi bounced excitedly. "Ooooh~ I wanna ride a dragon!"
Raviria cracked her knuckles. "I wanna kick a dragon."
Nyx growled approvingly.
Beelzecluck nodded sagely, as if agreeing that collecting a tornado would be an intellectual endeavor.
Tajima screamed. "NO. NO DRAGONS. NO SENTIENT TORNADOES. NO MORE GIANT MONSTERS!"
The system immediately betrayed him.
[NEW QUEST UNLOCKED: RECRUIT TWO MORE ELITE MONSTERS.]
Tajima grabbed his own hair. "WHY. WHY IS THIS MY LIFE!?"
The system ignored his suffering.
Fenra grinned. "Looks like we need to go monster hunting."
Tajima pointed aggressively at her. "NO. We are NOT hunting anything. We are going to find recruits who are normal—"
Something exploded in the distance.
Tajima froze.
"…No."
Mimi gasped. "Ooooh~ What was that!?"
Another explosion rocked the forest.
Tajima clutched his head. "NO NO NO NO NO—"
A large, flaming tree flew through the air and crashed just meters away from them.
Raviria cracked her knuckles. "Looks like someone's fighting."
Beelzecluck adjusted its monocle.
Nyx growled, its red eyes locking onto something in the distance.
Fenra flashed her fangs. "Shall we?"
Tajima threw his hands up. "We are not getting involved! Absolutely not! This is—"
A gigantic, snake-like dragon burst through the trees, roaring in pure rage.
Tajima choked on his own scream.
---
The Dragon was covered in blue scales, its eyes burning with elemental energy.
It was at least three stories tall, coiling around the trees like a nightmare creature.
Its body crackled with magic, the air around it warping.
Tajima's soul left his body.
"…IT'S A DRAGON."
The system confirmed.
[MONSTER IDENTIFIED: STORM DRAGON – RANK SSS. CURRENTLY EXTREMELY PISSED OFF.]
Tajima screamed again.
Fenra tilted her head. "Huh. You called it."
Mimi bounced excitedly. "I wanna keep it~"
Raviria was already stretching. "Do dragons have bones? I wanna kick its bones."
Beelzecluck gave it an approving nod.
Nyx growled, preparing to fight.
Tajima grabbed Fenra's shoulders. "WE. ARE. NOT. TAMING. A. DRAGON!"
A different voice interrupted them.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?"
Tajima froze.
From the other side of the clearing, standing on top of a collapsed tree, was a tiny girl with sharp black horns, wearing tattered clothes, her hands glowing with magic.
Her entire aura radiated 'feral gremlin energy.'
The system identified her instantly.
[MONSTER IDENTIFIED: DEMON DRAGON GIRL – CHAOTIC, LOUD, AND VERY VIOLENT.]
Tajima felt a migraine forming.
"…A DRAGON GIRL!?"
---
The Storm Dragon roared.
The Dragon Girl pointed back at it. "SHUT UP, I'M HANDLING SOMETHING!"
The Dragon roared again, shaking the entire forest.
The Dragon Girl threw a rock at it.
The Dragon ate the rock.
The Dragon Girl turned back to Tajima. "ANYWAY, WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY FIGHT!?"
Tajima waved his arms wildly. "I DON'T WANNA BE IN YOUR FIGHT! I WAS FORCED HERE BY PLOT CONVENIENCE!"
Mimi clapped her hands. "Oooh~ she's feisty! I like her~"
Fenra smirked. "She might be stronger than you, Tajima."
Tajima felt personally attacked.
Raviria grinned. "So, do we fight her or recruit her?"
Tajima nearly fainted. "WHY IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION!?"
Beelzecluck nodded as if evaluating a potential chess piece.
The Dragon Girl scoffed. "Tame me? You? HA!"
She laughed. "I'd rather EAT YOU."
Tajima backed up. "WHY DO I KEEP ATTRACTING PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KILL ME!?"
---
The Storm Dragon roared again.
The Dragon Girl sighed. "Ugh. Fine."
She turned back toward the Dragon.
"IF YOU WANT ME, YOU GOTTA BEAT ME FIRST!"
She cracked her knuckles…
And charged straight at it.
Tajima's brain short-circuited.
"…SHE'S FIGHTING THE DRAGON!?"
Mimi giggled. "She's so cool~!"
Fenra grinned. "I like her style."
Raviria watched closely. "If she wins, I want next."
Beelzecluck simply watched in silence, as if he had already predicted this outcome.
Tajima was on the verge of a breakdown.
"I HATE THIS WORLD!"
---
To Be Continued…