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The Thief, The Trickster, and The Stolen Kiss

BoredNovelist
28
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 28 chs / week.
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Synopsis
Kain Veldora, an 18-year-old reckless and sharp-tongued thief, has spent the last few years making a name for himself—not as an adventurer, but as a dungeon looter. Rejected by every guild for his less-than-honorable methods, he specializes in sneaking past powerful monsters and stealing rare artifacts before the actual adventurers can claim them. However, his luck takes a wild turn when, during his latest heist, he grabs an Arcane Gauntlet to escape a rampaging golem. The problem? It won’t come off. And apparently, it’s an ancient relic tied to a Trickster Fox Goddess who finds him absolutely hilarious. Now, with a kingdom hunting him down, a confused princess on his tail (whom he may have accidentally kissed while hiding), and the goddess gleefully throwing him into life-threatening adventures, Kain’s about to learn that some treasures aren’t worth stealing… Or maybe they are, if you have enough sarcasm, guts, and zero self-preservation instincts.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: The Heist of a Lifetime (Or How I Ended Up Wearing a Cursed Gauntlet)

Kain Veldora had long accepted that he was not hero material.

At 18 years old, he had the reflexes of a seasoned rogue, the sharp tongue of a professional smartass, and the kind of reckless decision-making that had kept him alive by sheer luck.

He was lean but athletically built, his body honed from years of running, dodging, and stealing from people who really wanted to stab him. His messy orange hair always looked windblown from too many close calls, and his sharp golden eyes carried the unmistakable glint of someone who probably just did something illegal.

And tonight?

Tonight was his biggest job yet.

---

Kain crouched low behind a cracked stone pillar, peering into the Duskwind Ruins' final chamber. The ancient dungeon stretched before him, lined with flickering blue torches embedded in the moss-covered walls. Dust hung thick in the air, and the hum of old magic pulsed through the stone beneath his feet.

At the chamber's center stood the real obstacle—a colossal stone golem, its unmoving body looming over an ornate treasure chest.

Kain smirked. "Jackpot."

The Duskwind Ruins were infamous, not for their treasures, but for this unbreakable guardian—a golem that had crushed every adventurer who dared enter.

But unlike those guild-affiliated muscleheads who thought "strategy" meant hitting something really hard, Kain had a plan.

The golem followed a pattern, a strict patrol route. It didn't attack unless something approached the chest directly.

All he had to do was time his approach, grab the loot, and slip out before the guardian even noticed.

Simple.

At least, it was.

Right up until the absolute dumbasses showed up.

---

"Guys! We did it! The chest is open!"

Kain froze.

From the opposite side of the chamber, a group of clueless adventurers were celebrating like they had just discovered immortality.

One of them—a grinning swordsman—had his hands on the chest lid.

"No. No, you absolute dumbasses—"

The dungeon shook.

A deep, earth-shattering roar filled the air. The golem's runes flared, molten-orange light burning through the cracks in its stone body.

With the sound of grinding mountains, it moved.

Kain ran.

The golem's massive stone arm lashed out, crushing the floor with enough force to send cracks racing across the chamber. The air boomed with the impact, and chunks of stone rained from above.

Kain didn't wait for an invitation.

He vaulted over a collapsed pillar, narrowly dodging falling debris. The adventurers had already broken into full panic mode, screaming as they scattered.

And Kain?

He was headed straight for the chest.

If he was gonna die, he might as well steal something valuable first.

Inside the chest was a single object—a sleek, black-metal gauntlet, covered in glowing blue runes.

It was humming.

Kain didn't hesitate. He grabbed it.

The moment his fingers closed around the metal—

A shockwave of magic surged through his body.

His vision blurred. His heartbeat synced with the pulsing runes. Heat spread up his arm as the artifact clamped onto his wrist with a metallic snap.

The air shifted.

Kain yanked at the gauntlet.

It did not budge.

"...Crap."

---

The golem's eyes locked onto him.

With an earth-shaking stomp, it charged.

Kain barely had time to process what was happening before a colossal stone fist came down like a meteor. He threw himself to the side, rolling just as the impact obliterated the ground beneath him.

The shockwave sent dust and debris flying.

Kain's instincts screamed.

And then—

Something shifted.

The gauntlet flared, its runes pulsing in sync with his heartbeat.

A new energy surged through his veins. His muscles responded faster, his movements felt sharper, his balance unnaturally precise.

He wasn't just running anymore.

He was moving like a shadow.

His footsteps blurred, his body barely visible.

The next strike came down—Kain twisted mid-air, narrowly escaping as the ground cracked apart beneath him.

He hit the ground running.

His body moved on instinct, like he had trained with this power for years.

"What the hell?!"

The golem roared, its massive frame shifting after him.

But Kain was already ahead of it.

His eyes locked onto the exit—and in a single blurred movement, he shot forward.

---

By the time Kain reached the outside, his breath still hadn't caught up.

He stopped. Blinked. Looked down at the gauntlet.

The power still hummed beneath his skin. The runes on the metal pulsed steadily, as if waiting for something.

He exhaled.

Then, cautiously, he looked back.

The golem—the unstoppable guardian of the ruins—was now kneeling.

A cold chill ran down Kain's spine.

"...That's probably fine," he muttered.

And then, from nowhere—

"Ohhh~? What do we have here? A little thief playing with my relic?"

Kain whipped around, heart pounding.

A golden tail flicked into view.

Then two. Then nine.

And from thin air, a beautiful woman emerged.

Her long, flowing pink hair shimmered in the dim light, cascading down her back in waves of silken mischief. Her golden eyes gleamed with playful amusement, her fox ears twitching as she grinned.

"I smell mischief~."

Kain froze.

And just like that—

His life as a simple thief was officially over.

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