Upon returning home, the couple had an unpleasant conversation.
"They're expecting us tomorrow."
"No way. I will not go. Why?"
"Because we owe them a lot. You owe them... the fact that you can be free, that you can continue to be with her." The woman threw towards the girl standing next to the young man. She was displeased with son's demeanour. "Nothing will happen to you if you grow away from her for a couple of hours."
The girl looked from one to the other in agitation. The last thing she wanted was a scandal around herself, so she gently took the guy's hand.
"Your mom's right. Their act deserves gratitude. There is nothing wrong with this visit, just a display of good manners. I can be alone, don't worry."
The lad calmed down, but remained dissatisfied. Saying abruptly "Alright. Just once." he walked heavily towards his father, who was waiting for him on business. A hand was placed on the girl's shoulder. Despite the fact that the touch was gentle, the blonde sorceress' face expressed only a dry recognition that she had done the right thing. The girl spent the rest of the day alone in her room. At dinner, everyone strove to behave as usual; the girl tried to laugh off comments about tomorrow, however, it turned out badly. Breakfast the next day took place quickly and without conversation, and soon the owners of the house left.
An hour passed, the second... the third and fourth... The hands on the clock continued to move, but the house remained quiet. The girl went down to the library, took an oil lamp and entered the tunnel.
She stood with her back stretched along the wide trunk of the huge tree and leaned her head against it, and tried to hold back tears. "It's your own fault. You didn't want to live. So watch as life passes you by."
"Eve?" came from the edge of the clearing. The girl quickly wiped away two teardrops. The young man came closer and rushed to kiss her hands, cheeks, eyes, forehead.
"No! Stop it! Stop it now! Don't you dare! Don't you dare consider yourself guilty! If that's what you think, then don't touch me! Don't touch! Leave me alone! I don't want to be guilty too! I don't want to!"
She violently struggled out of his arms, and when succeeded, she ran into the forest in tears. At first, the guy, taken aback, stood and watched her go. Then he understood everything and ran after her. Catching her, he hugged her tightly and, without loosening his grip, tried to breathe evenly, slowly and deeply. He tried to convey to her his firmness, calmness and confidence while she first struggled in hysterics, wanting to free herself, and then sobbed on his chest. "It's not your fault. It's not my fault. No one is to blame. Life doesn't consist of a single decision that you made once. It consists of many decisions made by many other people, among others. As soon as I can, I'll get you out of here. We're going to a place where no one knows us. Where you will be able to live."
"That visit was not the only one. It was followed by another, then they began to visit us. On those days, you used the device and left the house. You said that you moved into that very garden, that I described it in enough detail to imagine it. That you found the willows and enjoyed the 'safety' that reigned in them, rocking in a hammock woven with their branches. You didn't want to hear about how those meetings went. But not because you didn't trust my words. Conversely, as in the case with the past, you didn't want to know anything because you wanted to trust your heart.
At least that's how I understood it. Or how I wanted to think. In fact, I had no idea what was going on with you. You came back from there calm, behaved as if nothing unpleasant for you was happening. As if all this was related to my father's and mine affairs but not meetings with another girl. Only the choice of your hideout indicated that everything was not so simple for you. But you kept quiet about it. So, I do not know what was really behind the incident that happened at the end of the summer: jealousy, or hopelessness of the situation... or... nothing. After all, sometimes you don't really need anything for that: just the wind brought a fragrance with a light breeze; the shadows from the leaves ran over the figure; the gaze slid along the lines of the body; a reminiscence surfaced in the memory. That's all... But I was scared. Everything was too similar to the moment on the day when the cliff returned. And I was too afraid that you would leave. More than that we wouldn't be able to be close."
"No. Eve, no, stop it." The lad needed physical strength to pull her away from him, as well as another quality of strength to force himself to do it. "Have you forgotten?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. No, I haven't forgotten. Sorry." She turned away, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly to calm herself. "I just... don't know. It's just that it hasn't been back for a long time, and I thought maybe I don't need it anymore. But you're right, it's not worth the risk."
"Already at that moment I thought that it was worth it, and later I realised that it was that very moment. If I hadn't stopped you then... However, it turned out that I returned it with my refusal."
"Maybe we should find it." The girl felt tension behind her back. "I mean, maybe if we do, it will let me go."
"No. What if it takes you away instead?" Her shoulders slumped as her head dropped to her knee. "No."
"September began and she went to school, it was her last year. On this occasion, I decided to arrange a celebration for us. The 'season of mists and mellow fruitfulness' has come, and with it the harvest festivals. We went to one of these, to one of the villages further away. And we had a really good time. There was a carnival of folklore, matching music and dancing, a fair with handmade trinkets and local food, and an amusement park. We tried almost everything; you even persuaded me to learn some medieval dance."
"How about archery? Three targets out of five and you can already choose something. That hamster is so cute."
"I've never done that before. Let me just buy it for you."
"No, it's not interesting. I want you to win it for me."
"Then there is a risk of being left without a gift."
"It's not a big loss. I haven't stayed without a gift."
"Don't you want to try it yourself?"
"I'm afraid accuracy isn't my thing. At best, I can slash at something with a sword. And that's not for sure as well."
"Are you that dryad?"
A child's voice sounded so quiet and uncertain behind them that the girl did not immediately realise that the question was addressed to her. Turning around, she saw a familiar face. Her heart skipped a beat, but she made an effort and pretended she didn't recognise the boy.
"My pardon, who?"
"The nymph from the forest."
"What makes you think that?" she laughed carelessly.
"I don't know. By the sound of your voice, on the sensations in your presence. But you recognise me, I noticed, so it's definitely you."
The smile faded from her face and her eyes darted around the crowd in search of other familiar faces. The guy pulled her by the elbow and whispered in her ear.
"I can erase his memory, all we have to do is get away from the crowd."
"What are you saying! Absolutely not! He's a kid. Let me try to talk to him." The girl knelt down in front of the boy, as she had done in the forest. "Hi... Umm, listen, I didn't do anything to hurt you back then, did I?"
"Of course not! On the contrary, you saved me!"
"Good. But you do remember what other rumors there were about that place, right? Why did those guys bring you there and leave you?"
"They wanted to scare me because they thought there was a witch living there."
"That's right. Surely, many people still think so. And only you know that's not true. Unfortunately, people don't listen to others much. So if you don't want me to be hurt, promise me that you won't tell anyone about me."
"You asked me to make that promise last time, too. But I didn't fulfill it - I told my brother about you. Sorry."
"Yes, he came, asked me to sing to him." The girl started to smile, but...
"Why did you do this to him?"
"Did what?"
"That day, he returned home barely alive, covered in blood and immediately lost consciousness. Later, in a hospital, he said that it was as if an animal had attacked him. He went deep into the forest, chasing the nymph's voice. Then the voice stopped. He tried to find his way back, but got lost. He started calling for your help. And then he was attacked. First they tore the clothes, and then they got to the skin. He said that nymphs do this to those who invade their space, too brazenly disturbs their peace. He said it was his own fault, that he deserved it. But why did you treat him so cruelly?"
As she listened, fear spread through her body. Fear for herself, for the poet, for the child. "But... How is he now?"
"He's fine. The wounds were shallow. But he's very upset that you didn't like him. He writes very sad poetry. The adults say he's depressed."
"Oh, you scared me to death." The blood drained from her head. "His poems were not particularly funny before that too. I'm sorry about that, however, I'm sure he'll be fine. There will be a nymph who will say 'yes' to him. Tell me, is he sure it really wasn't a beast?"
"He is. The attacker was invisible."
"Listen. Forgive me please. It's true, I led him into a thicket, but I wasn't going to leave him there, at some point I simply lost sight of him. And I didn't attack him, I swear to you. There wasn't even a reason."
"I knew it wasn't you! I told him that my nymph would never do that! That there was another one!"
"Shhh... and I think I can guess who it could be, he got off easy."
"Come on, I'll show you the most interesting things at this fair! Oh! Why do I see you now?"
"That's a restless one. Do you see that stern young man? I'll tell you a secret. I fell in love with him. To be with him, I appealed to our goddess, asked her to make me human. I'm not a nymph anymore."
No one could have noticed, however, the guy turned away when pain distorted his features for a moment: "No, she's not mocking, she can't... she wouldn't."
"It's sad. I won't tell anyone about you, I promise. Even to my brother, so that he wouldn't get even more upset. But for me, you will always be the forest nymph with rainbow eyes."
"Thanks." Laughing, the girl covered her face, which was flushed with embarrassment.
"Let's go, now will be the most interesting!" The boy grabbed her hand and pulled her along so that she barely managed to get up from her knees without stepping on the hem of her dress, and in turn grabbed the young man's hand so as not to lose him in the fuss.
The child led them first to the center of the fair, where a performance was being played out in the open air on the circular stage, and then to its outskirts, where the rest of the people were already beginning to gather in anticipation of the culmination of the evening. It was late at night and it was getting very cold. The wizard did not risk taking out his wand; he gave the girl his jacket while he warmed himself against her. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he rested his chin on top of her head. So they stood and watched the fireworks.
When they got home, they went to her place - they always said goodbye in her living room.
"Oh, wait, don't turn on the light. Look how beautiful it is."
The window was uncurtained and the soft diffused light of the full moon penetrated through the glass. It created an impression of the presence in the same space of some other world, the world of water. It seemed that any minute now, in this visible air, the jellyfish would start their hypnotic dance. The girl entered the light and tried to touch it with her hands. Suddenly, it began to move: it wrapped her body in a spiral and, narrowing the rings, settled on her dress with silver dust. Laughing, she turned around and looked with delight at the young man with a wand in his hand. Then she turned back to the window to examine her reflection. Soon, the guy's reflection appeared behind her, staring at her transparent figure in fascination. Without taking his eyes off hers, he began to undo the buttons of her dress one by one. Unbuttoning the last one, located just above the coccyx, he put his hands under the fabric and slowly began to move them upward. The hands slid over her shoulders, gradually exposing them. She closed her eyes, sinking into bliss, but when the clothes were about to fall off, the girl caught them and pressed to her chest. At the same time, she turned her burning face to the young man and looked at him with a serious look.
"What are you going to do?"
"To love you." He answered with confidence in his voice and ran his fingertips down her spine. "You don't want that?" She strained every muscle she knew to keep her mind.
"You know that I want. And you know what it threatens. You decided yourself that it isn't worth the risk." He took a deep breath and exhaled angrily: he had driven them into a dead end himself.
"I've changed my mind."
"Why? Because right now you want to? And it doesn't matter that you might regret it later?"
"I already regret" her brow furrowed "stopping you back then," smoothed, "and now you're stopping me. What did I expect? But it can't go on like this forever."
"It can't." She echoed softly.
"You told the boy that you love me. You've never been so specific before. Was it a joke?"
"No, of course not. I wouldn't." The girl got the courage. "I'll find a way out, I promise. But I don't know it yet. And I'm not ready to lose you. Please understand this. Today was such a beautiful day, I don't want you to leave angry..." However, the young man's face had already brightened up for a few moments, and his eyes were full of love. Before she could finish the phrase, he hugged her, kissed her warmly on the forehead, and pressed her head to his chest.
***
The girl slammed the book shut and put it away with the others that densely filled the shelves of the cabinet. She found herself standing in the middle of a room, only vaguely reminding her of something. Opposite the bookcase was a sofa; between them was an armchair and a coffee table; by the window was another one, smaller and round, in tandem with a chair; a semi open door in the adjacent wall led to the bedroom. After looking around, the girl slowly headed towards the exit. She went out into the hallway, closed the door behind her, and leaned back against it, not letting go of the handle. A few seconds later, she raised her head and with surprise, even excitement, began to study the settings. The corridor had two directions. To one side, it led past the same closed doors and rested against a wall decorated with a painting. To another side, it led down a wooden staircase. She chose the second direction. After walking down several flights, she came out into a bright hall with lots of greenery in pots, arranged in such a way that, together with couches, chairs and tables, they formed cozy locations for privacy. One of its walls was almost entirely made up of windows and had a glass door leading to a garden. A young blond man, slender and tall, entered the house through it and addressed the girl as if he had known her for a long time and had seen her for the last time only this morning.
"Eve, where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere." He studied her face. "Are you alright? You look confused, like you recognise neither the house... nor... me. Where's the pendant?" The guy's chest began to rise frequently.
"What pendant?"
"My pendant that I made for you! Did you lose it?! But that's impossible - I put the spell on it. So you... you took it off? Why? Eve, why did you do that?!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked at her with indignation. "Where is it? Maybe it's not too late..."
"I don't know what you're talking about." The girl began to feel fear.
"You were wearing it this morning. When you went for a walk, too. I didn't see you come back." It was a conversation with oneself. "Where have you been?"
"I don't remember."
"Where have you been?!" he tightened his grip on his fingers.
"I don't know! I don't remember!" she could barely contain her trembling.
"Okay." The young man closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to get his voice under control. "Where did you come from in the hall? From the garden?" Silence. "From the upstairs?"
"From the upstairs..."
"From your room?"
"From a room..."
"Can you show it to me?" The girl led him up the stairs she had just come down. "Not on this floor?" She shook her head negatively and continued to rise. "This one? Are you sure?" She turned around and backed away from the stairs to the door, holding her hand behind her back until the handle went into it. Then she nodded affirmatively. He looked at her incredulously, but nevertheless opened the indicated door and they entered. "Do you recognise it?"
"No."
"You left it here?"
"I do not know. I don't remember. I remember nothing. Absolutely nothing." Her wide-open eyes darted around the room, moving from one object to another, to the guy, to the exit, and back in a circle. The guy was looking at her and there was anger and even disdain in his gaze.
"Isn't that what you wanted? When you took off the pendant, wasn't that what you wanted?! To forget! Forget what? Forget who? Me? Is that what you meant by 'way out'?!" Tears glistened in his eyes. "So go away! Go your own way, no one is holding you back! Never held! Go to your cliff!! Leave me alone!!"
The door slammed in her face. She stood motionless in front of it for a while, stunned by his words. It was quiet behind it, so the guy was standing in front of it, also motionless. And then something crashed into the door and it shook. The girl also shuddered and, headlong, rushed down the stairs. Panic seized her. Back in the conservatory, she knelt down, wrapped her arms around her stomach and bent over. It was as if her mind was trapped in these two rooms and the corridor between them, where it was flouncing in vain attempts to free itself. She sat on the floor, swaying, and moaning periodically broke through her rapid breathing. In this state, she was found by a man and a woman with the same blond hair as the young man. When they saw the girl, they immediately hurried to her.
"Was this my son? Did he find you? Did he hurt you?" The girl looked up at the woman and could not recognise her.
"No. It's me. I hurt him. Badly. I didn't want... I don't know. I don't understand why. He said something about a pendant. That I took it off. But I don't understand. I don't remember anything, or anyone. Not you, not him... not myself."
The blonde-haired couple exchanged glances. The woman, having specified where the boy was now, went to the stairs. The man helped the girl to get up and took her to the garden, sitting her on a bench there. A glass flew out of the house, filling with water from nowhere as it went, and landed right in the man's hands. He handed it to the girl. She sat and stared at it without blinking.
"I'm sorry, I have to leave you. Just try not to think about anything."
The girl plucked up her courage and took a sip. Water was like water. She tried to remember something, but if memory were a house, she just wouldn't know where it was. Faced with this problem, she decided to get all the information she could from what she had seen and heard. The idea exhausted itself quickly. Then she closed her eyes and forced herself not to think about anything. Suddenly, there was a pop next to her. The girl opened her eyes and screamed. The glass of water fell to the ground. In front of her stood a very strange creature: small in stature, with puny arms and legs, a large head with pointed burdock ears, thin hair, bowl-shaped eyes and a long nose, dressed in something like a pillowcase. It cringed with indecision, but its gaze was very kind and sympathetic.
"Young mistress..." a thin, trembling voice piped up.
The girl shook her head uncomprehendingly. A very strange bird, the size of a pigeon, flew by. The creature watched the bird go, tears welling up in its eyes. It got near the girl and closed its long, thin fingers on her wrists. So they sat in silence while the red sun slowly sank into the forest. Finally, there was a slight rustle behind them - someone was approaching them carefully. An elderly woman looked no less confused and scared than the girl. It seemed that she still couldn't decide what she was seeing: a ghost, a miracle, or a monster. By the way the owners of the house behaved, the girl concluded that this woman was not a member of the family, so something was going to happen. And she wasn't sure she wanted that. She felt the creature's fingers begin to stroke her hands reassuringly.
"Miss..." the guest stammered, "Ev..." and once again.
"He... the boy," she couldn't remember his name, "called me Eve."
"The young master always called her that. Yes. He..."
"What are you doing here?" The blonde woman only noticed the maid now. "I've forbidden you to go near her. What have you already told her?"
"Nothing. I just..."
"Don't lie. You'll only make things worse for the girl by lying."
"She sat in silence, she's not lying. Only when she appeared did she call me 'young mistress'."
"Get out of here."
"No." The guest stopped them. "I want to talk to the elf. In private."
"I don't want to go. I don't want to leave him like this."
"But you don't even know who he is."
"It doesn't matter. I want to explain everything to him."
"But you don't even know who you are."
"It doesn't matter. We'll find a way to understand each other."
"Show mercy to both of you. Let's go."
"I locked myself in the room, I didn't want to see anyone. My parents contacted the headmistress and told her everything. They did everything right: you took off the pendant, so you didn't want to live like this anymore - leaving you in the house would mean holding you against your will." The man thought for a moment. "Mother did everything right, just very quickly... I don't know how she managed to get me away from prison. You were taken away. You were a blank slate, and they wrote your fate on it. I could have done it, because it was just memory that was erased. But I was too angry and too stupid to figure it out. I thought you wanted to get rid of me, that you found the cliff and threw the pendant into the sea."
"I would never do that." The woman leaned forward to the wide table separating them. "It was your heart. How could I? I returned it to the place it belonged to."
"I know. I found it. I kept coming back to that room to reflect, to remember our past. Including the time when it was your prison and we could see each other... twice a week. I recalled our conversations about the only safe topic, looking through the books in the cabinet, and I came across one with a poem that I read to you and which you liked the most. The pendant lay between its pages." He shook his head, once again reproaching himself for his stupidity.
"I was really looking for it - the cliff. You were against it, so I did it in secret from you. But I was sure it was the only way, that once I was there, I would understand what needs to be done. I finally found it. And then, there, I remembered everything: the school, us, everyone, how I died, why I did it, who I took with me," she turned her head slightly towards the portrait behind her, "and that I could have done differently. I wanted to forget that damn rock, but then I would have to forget everything, absolutely. And I decided to do it."
"You were counting on me, left it there on purpose, believed that I would guess, would remember what you said about memory and the heart, and would guess. And I failed you. I realised it when you were already far away and..."
"I should have let you talk." The old witch's lips were trembling, she clutched the arm of the chair with one hand, and pressed the other to her chest as if she was trying not to let it burst.
"No," the woman told her firmly, and turned away again. "Because I was wrong once again." It was the first time she touched him, reaching across the table, she put her hand on his and squeezed, asking him not to blame himself. "As you can see, it got to me in another world. It has always been with me, not only in joy, but also in sorrow. Because it is not a part of memory, but a part of the heart. You couldn't do anything about it because it wasn't your job."
(The next night she dreamed of chess. The king-headmaster stood in his initial position surrounded by figures of his - white - colour and alternately whispered something to them. There was the queen-boy, a bishop-head, a rook-school, a knight-werewolf and half of the pawns. The figures stirred. The bishop moved forward. Next, under his guard, went the queen. One of the white pawns started off from the other side. A few more moves and the queen checked the black king. But for some reason, the bishop took a step back and the open queen was taken. The white king, to avoid being hit, made castling with the rook. The pawn, which no one paid attention to, step by step got far ahead into the area of black pieces and stood there alone, not covered by anyone. She was that pawn.
("Well, well, well... Who do we have here? In the end, you came to me, of your own volition. I admit, this is unexpected. I can recall your resistance five years ago. And now you are joining in the celebration of my victory."
He was there, in the vast stone house with turrets behind the high wrought-iron gate at the end of the alley flanked by a hedge. Her father. From some point on, meeting him became her obsession. Like a moth drawn by fire, she couldn't resist this temptation. When did it start? She was wondering how he would look, what she would feel, what he would feel. Would he seek to kill her again or to be her father? Would he even recognise her as his daughter? Would he want to see her on his side? Would she want that? Needless to say, the girl was scared to death. But there were many of his servants, and they were like chained dogs; she shouldn't have shown her panic. And she had already shown one of them that she is not one of the timid ones out there on the street: "I know what I do with someone like you. Once I have killed one, can handle you too." The eyes of the awful half-beast-half-man could not stand her unblinking and impassive gaze. But her father was a completely different matter. The girl had a pretty solid reason not to be killed, innate immunity, the bottleneck was in having sufficient time for explanations. She tried to keep breathing normally, making the inhale and exhale equal to pacify the heartbeat. And he was a genuine snake: careful in movements, tense, ready to straighten his rings at any time for attack. So she stood in front of him, as if under hypnosis, unable to take her eyes off his. He looked at her with a sneer in his eyes, like at a stupid fan craving to grab the attention of her idol, no matter what it cost her.
"I've heard some interesting facts about you. For instance, that you can do magic without a wand. Not many wizards have this gift. Bring me her wand! You don't need it anyway, do you?" He put it in his palm, spreading his long thin fingers like a fan, brought it to the two narrow slits on his face that replaced his nose, and began to inhale the air around, as though tasting an expensive wine... "What is that?!" spoiled one.
"Her wand, my Lord... Leastwise, that's the only thing she had with her."
"But it's just a piece of polished wood. What's the core?"
"It has no core, it's just a stick, nothing more. As you remarked before, I don't need a wand to do magic." What will win, curiosity or prudence? The girl did count on him not to test her by himself. The sneer vanished from his face.
"Prove it. You! Strike at her!"
Well, manners. No respect for the opponent, as if it were not a duel but a skirmish. The wizard didn't even hesitate to start his onslaught with potent spells. The combat wasn't one of her best, she only had time to put up blocks but managed to make an accurate shot a couple of times. Still, it was hard to do it without a wand that works as an aim and she found that incantations with a broader area of defeat were more useful in such circumstances. Impatience, like mercury in the thermometer under an ill man's arm, was gradually filling all the space reserved for it - the end was close.
"Enough!" She missed the last shot intentionally. Painful, but bearable. The same pain affected her father's face as well. He gave her a cautious look, which also conveyed a question.
"You must have heard something else about me."
"Oh, that absurdity about you being my daughter... How's that supposed to happen? Tell us, we're all intrigued."
The witch who stood closest to him, beautiful yet terrifying, was ready to tear the girl apart with her bare hands for such an insult to her sovereign. Before she could catch her breath from the previous ordeal, it was time for the next, vital one.
"It's supposed to happen during your journey to the family of ancients in order to uncover the secrets of their magic and persuade them to join your side in the war, since it had been rather dragged on. They were adherents of blood status, similar to you, so it was safe to hope for the success of at least this part of the enterprise. And they were positive about everything, but had one condition. By that time, they had been marrying only each other for a century and eventually stopped giving offspring. They were desperate for the fresh blood of a strong pureblood wizard, which in their opinion you were. You agreed to a deal where you would get what you need when they would get what they need - a baby." The girl shook her head in frustration. "Tell me honestly, did you think they wouldn't notice the fraud? You can gain incredible power, invent any grand name for yourself, kill all the witnesses of your origin, but this will not change the truth - you will never cease to be who you were born. You probably didn't know how crucial the partner's blood purity was to them, as opposed to his might. As soon as I was born, they instantly realised that I was not the one they waited for, and when you came to demand the fulfilment of their part of the agreement, they refused you. You killed them all without a second thought. And me, along with them. That's what you thought. But you had no idea how much they had been let down by your deception, how much they hated you for it. So much that they collected all their magic and as a single whole enclosed it into me before your curse had time to attain its goal. I survived, and you... You killed so many that night... in addition, you decided to kill your own child..." She felt so bitter that he didn't even want to give her a chance. "You had spent your entire life in search of immortality, tried everything, but rejected the only way to obtain it available to man in this world... whoever oneself were. This is not easy to tolerate, I have to admit. However, your failure ironically turned into luck. And whether you want it or not, my existence ensures your immortality. We have a really strong bond because I'm not only a part of your soul, you get what I mean, do you, but also a part of your flesh and blood." He was surprised and no less vexed by her awareness. Some things were news to him, and he had every right to be sceptical due to the inability to verify them. Despite everything, he knew one thing for certain - the girl wasn't lying. "So, if I were you, in a hundred percent, I wouldn't start checking the veracity of my words with the death spell."
"You kindly let me test you?"
"I believe you would like to. I will even be disenchanted if you don't. But, I wouldn't do it in front of everyone." The main thing for the girl now was not to let her reflexes come to her defence. Her mentor couldn't have taught her that. Once in the chamber, she ventured to experience the effect of the second curse on herself - she did not last a second.
"Daring girl..."
Pain. She hadn't known much about it before. When each of your nerves begins to desperately send this signal of danger into your brain, the whole world narrows to one point, perceived only by two senses: touch and hearing. Scream. It was only hers in the beginning. But then, another voice was added. That one yelled in agony, denial, and rage. She started to feel his pain. Hers doubled returned to him. After a few endless moments, everything calmed down. Devastation, repose, weightlessness. Stillness.
"Take her out of here!!!"
The girl wanted to go on her own while she was able to stay conscious. She made an attempt to stand up, but the muscles disobeyed her. Suddenly, she felt a huge force putting her on her feet.
"Into the prison, my Lord?"
"No! Under a home arrest. Two in front of the door and two under the windows. Set up a barrier."
"But my Lord! What if she breaks it? Four is patently too few."
"She will not try to escape. She's come here for some purpose, so she is not going to leave us so quickly."
"Why are you here? Have you come to align with me?"
"No. I've come to kill you."
"Ambitiously. Why do you need it?"
"Eye for an eye. You tried to kill me, recall this?"
"And yet, you're alive. And I'm so happy to finally meet you. You did a great job today. I was glad to discover that my girl is such a powerful witch. Would you have become one, if it hadn't been for that night? Let's forget the past and unite for the future."
"I can't do that. I don't see the future as you see it..."
"Oh, let me guess! You see this world as full of love, diverse, and free from prejudice. It's so childish and boring. Such a world is nonsense, incapable of existence! It's the delirium of the old mad wizard! He was the one who poisoned you against me. He saw that we are alike, and didn't want me to get you. Therefore, he implanted this ridiculous idea of me striving to kill you in your head. How can you trust him? Did he ever trust you? But look where he is now. He is dead. And we have survived. Isn't that proof that he was wrong?"
People... He gained his daughter's approval regarding the impossibility of such a world. Nonetheless, she harboured serious reservations that he wouldn't have received the same from the old sorcerer. But if he had asked her instead of presuming, she'd have answered that she didn't see any other future at all, precisely because of that. She saw both worlds and couldn't accept either one. In either of them, as long as they presuppose the presence of intelligent beings, there is a place for both suffering and happiness, and both worlds can be achieved only through losses. None of them eliminate fear. Fear of death, fear of life, fear of being different, and fear of being the same. Both are capable of giving birth to those who will consider themselves superior to others, and therefore, have the right to dispose of other's lives, for the evil or for the good of others, hidden or in plain sight of everyone. This will be the case in any of the worlds, because in fact, it is the same world. And this world is already full of love but not only, free but not from prejudice, and diverse. Otherwise, neither he nor the headmaster could arise in it, each with their own way of bringing pain to one and joy to another, nor their war. And rivalry, in one form or another, is the only way for its existence. Rivalry is a natural conflict, a natural consequence of blood and cultural identity. Some are still struggling to live, while most are struggling for how to live. It is hypocritical to label this conflict as evil, since it's conditioned by the values we have declared ourselves. It cannot be outlived, no one can win it forever, because to win it means to remain alone. It cannot be avoided, but it can be artificially contained. It is hypocritical to label this system of counterbalances as goodness, since it implies violence against the values that it's designed to protect, and it balances with the products of pressures on the masses. And the conflict will take the form corresponding to the imbalance of the coefficients. We crave the consequences of which we're not ready to accept. At the same time, we're not ashamed to evaluate and condemn each other, while the only good that we can do in these conditions is to support and forgive. How to live in this world? Shut your eyes and run as hard as you can, hoping not to touch anyone? If he had asked her, she would've said that she would destroy all their little worlds. That she would gather all the yearnings to kill, to humiliate, in order to elevate oneself, from all the worlds into a poppy box. And she would fill it, tamping down, until the concentration of these intentions reached the most inconceivable limit, and then, she would bring a wand to it. It would've saved time and nerves, and led faster to where her father was leading. Why should the world be preserved for the sake of the good that exists in it, but not destroyed due to the evil that exists in it? Because there is more goodness? Her father's world was much smaller than the one he had relied on...
"Everyone is mortal in this world, his death doesn't prove anything. He is dead, but his world will exist as it always did because he wasn't the cornerstone of it. Whilst with your death, your world had fallen apart and will again. Isn't that proof that you are wrong?"
"... But you do understand that according to that scenario for killing me you have to kill yourself! If you desire my death so much then why are you still alive? What are you waiting for?"
Because there is more goodness. How did we calculate this? According to the death rate? So we are driven by the instinct of self-preservation. Her presence was not supposed to be in any of their worlds.
"... It's not the easiest thing to do. Don't you think?"
"You doubt! Then you've made a mistake coming here. It would be easier for you to die fighting, not being imprisoned. Unless... you came here to be rescued. Unless, you don't want to be expendable. Indeed, you didn't prevent my servants' raid, didn't stop them from killing your adorable headmaster, and now you came to me... I never needed your death. All this is slander... You should just step aside and you will be secure. It's so easy to do...")
That chess game, something was wrong in it, something did not add up. The girl sat down and reconsidered what she saw. "Chess... Two kings... My father and... That's it! Headmaster! He couldn't be a king. If that were the case, the game would have been over, since he is dead. The boy, in turn, couldn't be a queen, since he is alive yet. It's the other way around. The boy should be the king! The goal of the game is to defeat one king and protect another, and this is also some nonsense, as we know that... Stop... And I... I have reached the end of the chessboard, crossed the line, and now I can become any of the lost pieces. I think I'll become a queen, I will go wherever I want and how I want. But still, could he see a way... Stop."
"Why am I not on his side? Why don't I even doubt the choice? Even though he might not have been the one who organised the massacre in the forest. Because it wasn't hatred that led me there, neither for my father, nor for the old wizard, nor for whoever it was. Seriously, I don't know how to hate, just like I don't know how to love. The boy does, not me. The malice that started to grow in me two and a half years ago is not mine, but my father's. He was reborn, began to gain strength, and his former feelings for the world resurfaced in him. Why are they like that? Is the world cruel? No, it's indifferent. Someone can see cruelty in that, but this is not so. Cruelty presupposes will, but there is no will in indifference. The world is neutral, mirrored, empty until we look into it. If we are dissatisfied with what we see, it is populated by enemies, if we are satisfied - by friends. 'I can't foresee who I'll become, but I'd like to be myself, whoever I am - I just can't do otherwise.' When I look into it, I don't see anything. Then, I explore the reflections of others, trying them on myself, one by one, but see that nothing fits. Every time I turn into a void again. Why? Don't know. I deemed I would when I learned about my family, met my father. Have I? I rarely reveal to someone what is on my mind. I always behave as normally as I can, communicate with others when it is supposed to, but never get attached to anyone. I just stay aside and observe. It happens that someone finds me themselves. Then, if I'm captured by their personalities, I don't push them away. It can be fun or sad with them, I like both. When they decide to leave, I don't keep them, since I know that I won't miss them. I think they feel it, that's why they leave. But as long as they are with me, I can't help worrying about them, feeling responsible for them, though not being too good at it. My father had no intention to find me, he was not interested in me until discovered that his life depended on me. But even now he only needs to lure me to his side, to make me look at the world as he looks at it. The headmaster was the same. The people who are interested in me, the real me, can be counted on the fingers of one hand. And only one seeks for me constantly, in spite of anything - the only one to whom I showed my emptiness. He once advised me to back off, but now he's become one of the reasons I won't do it. Don't understand why he hasn't run away, what does he see in it?... Well, it doesn't matter. The matter is that my father's world is not one of theirs. Even if some of them claim the contrary out loud, their emotions sell them out. My father strived to discredit the dead wizard in my eyes, but he already was. And we had told each other everything that was important before I came here. My father wanted to prove to me that essentially we are the same, therefore, we have the same path, but instead he has proved to me the essential difference between us. Every day I studied myself, learning to live with myself as I am, and not make someone else out of myself, forcing others to recognise this construct. My magic helps me in that. Thus once again, I've seen who I am not. Who I am right now are the reflections of the small number of people to whom I have allowed to linger in front of my mirror and fill its emptiness."
"You don't have a future, just like me, don't you see it? Don't you see why the family saved my life that night? They were obsessed with blood status due to the prophecy received by their ancestor thousands of years ago. It said that if they did not preserve its purity, their genus would be exterminated. How they dreaded this. They even went into the woods so that 'infidels' wouldn't get to them. But you made it. You became their fate. You became the cause of their apostasy, and you also carried out the sentence prescribed for it. However, by entering into the agreement with them, you have become part of the family, which means that the prophecy has not been fulfilled. They kept me alive for only one purpose - so that I would come for you, and we would go to them together. As you can see, I'm as obsessed with death as you are with immortality. You all did a good job at it: you - when you were killing me, and they - when they were delivering me from it... You all make the same mistake. You don't see that the only way to oppose fate is not trying to escape from it. But it's too late. I'm going to die and take you with me."
"Do you think if I hadn't assaulted you then, you would be able to threaten me now?" Her father hissed like a snake infuriated by being stung itself. "If it weren't for me, would you be capable of at least a thousandth of what you are capable of now? No!! You think you were born simply a half-blood? No. When you were born, there wasn't a drop of magic in you. Not a drop! You're not a sorceress... you're nobody. Everything you have was given to you after your birth. By me and your mother. Without us, you're nothing." With a wild laugh, he left.
"Is it true?!...This may explain why no wand chose me. What if my joke has a grain of truth? What if I really only live to kill him? To die with him. Maybe that's all I want. Have ever wanted. And there is nothing else. '...the lightness of a balloon hanging in the sky... held on the ground by a heavy stone...' Maybe only that cliff is... Without doing anything to break through this mental barrier, my father thought that was where I was hiding something from him - it's natural to leave a clue in your hideout. But I wasn't hiding anything there. There, everything was open as in the palm of a hand, he just wasn't able to see it. And me?")
"I should've learned to live with it. To live, not to be obsessed with it. It gave me the strength to strive for something, but being fascinated by it, I began to strive only for it, and reality no longer interested me. It was a guide to me, but became a goal. The same thing is happening now." She stopped. "And I wouldn't have understood it if you hadn't brought me back. Because being with you made me want reality. I've never regretted that you did it. You gave me the opportunity to be happy, with you, with someone else. I think I've lost that connection again. And now I know the origin of the problem. So now I can choose again... Go back and try to move on... The main thing is to remember your core, remember that it is a choice but not a battle... Go back and try to move on..." she felt the ring on the man's finger, "I'm glad you've managed." She hesitated to ask if it was that very girl. She didn't know if she wanted to know. He smiled and nodded his head.
"I hated myself for what I said to you. It didn't matter that your memory was erased; I was afraid that it would remain in your heart, and I hated myself for it. But one day, when I thought about you for the thousandth time, I realised that my fears were in vain. After all, I knew you well enough to be sure that my hysterics weren't capable of swaying it. Nothing is capable. You've always felt the reasons, and you've never been provoked. On an ordinary day, I would have come to you, and you would have taken my hand, explained everything, smiled, and everything would be fine again; we wouldn't go back to that moment anymore, just like we didn't go back to many of them. When I realised this, I finally calmed down and let go... myself."
It was time to say goodbye.
"Thanks for coming, for going through all this with me once again. You brought me back again. Thank you." She smiled at him with a pure smile that had no regrets or doubts. He hugged her as he had never hugged her before: still tightly and warmly, but for the first time with a calm and confident heart. "Farewell, teacher. Now I will not forget... and I'll try my best... And thank you," she turned to the old witch, "for using the last resort."
"You are a brave, strong, kind and intelligent woman. That's what you should always remember." She went to the headmaster's desk and took out a golden object on a long chain, resembling a combination of an hourglass and an ancient calendar disk. "This is a prototype. Give it to the owl that brought you the letter."
"Tell your friend that he has nothing to apologise for. But if he still thinks differently, then I forgive him. Also tell him that he was wrong about that other person. In my case."