Alpha Lucian pants as he tries to regulate his breathing.
His body is still pressed against Aiden's, their heartbeats pounding in sync, their skin still hot from the moment they just shared.
His eyes can't leave Aiden's face. It's like his presence is the only thing keeping him grounded, keeping him sane while the crushing weight of duty, responsibility, and expectation suffocates him.
He leans down, capturing Aiden's lips once more, a desperate kiss, an unspoken plea. The lips he never gets enough of, the lips that feel like home.
His fingers trace Aiden's jaw as if memorizing every inch of him before he has to step away. He knows this moment can't last, but God, he wants it to.
Aiden trembles beneath him, his breath ragged, his body still thrumming with the aftermath of their shared passion.
His fingers press into Lucian's back, holding him close, as if he can anchor him here, stop time, stop everything.
Lucian stays still for a while, his forehead pressed against Aiden's, their breaths mingling.
For a fleeting second, Aiden lets himself believe-- believe that this man on top of him is his, that he always will be, and therefore, there's no need to worry about ever loosing him like he thought he would.
But the illusion shatters the moment Lucian moves.
Aiden's stomach clenches. He watches as Lucian shifts away, as if pulling a piece of himself away from Aiden's soul.
The warmth, the closeness, the safety, it vanishes.
Lucian presses one last kiss to his lips before rolling off the bed. The absence is instant, cold, unbearable.
Panic flares in Aiden's chest.
His hand shoots out, gripping Lucian's wrist before he can move further. His heart pounds as he searches Lucian's eyes, desperation creeping into his voice.
"Where are you going?" His voice wavers, betraying the storm raging inside him. "You promised me. Last time, you swore we'd spend the whole night together even if duty called. You said it."
His chest tightens painfully, the hurt growing sharper with every second of silence.
Lucian hesitates, his face torn with conflict. He turns back to Aiden, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Aiden..."
The way he says his name feels like an apology.
No. No, don't say it. Don't do this to me.
Lucian exhales, his shoulders heavy. "You know too well that I have to go."
Aiden's grip tightens, his nails digging into Lucian's skin, but Lucian doesn't pull away.
"It's already planned. The ceremony is starting in a few minutes."
Ceremony. The word sends a fresh wave of pain slicing through Aiden's chest.
Lucian's hands tighten around Aiden, his voice raw with desperation. "You know I can't ignore this. You know the consequences from the Moon Goddess if I defy her mating bond and reject to marry Catherina, you know the consequences especially for a leader like me.
I won't be suffering alone, Aiden. If I defy her, I'll be leading the whole pack into suffering, all of you." His voice trembles, but he forces himself to continue. "And what if the Moon Goddess decides it's because of you that I rejected the mate she gave me? What if she turns her anger toward you?" His fingers brush against Aiden's cheek, a silent plea in his touch. "I cannot take that, Aiden. I can't take if she lashes at you. And baby, you know that once this mating season passes, if I haven't claimed her, everything will go south."
Aiden lets out a bitter laugh, his eyes filled with heartbreak. "There. You said it." His voice cracks as he takes a shaky step back. "So maybe we should just go our separate ways because we can never be together." His lips tremble, his next words barely a whisper. "Maybe this should be the end of our journ..."
"No, no, please don't say that..." Lucian reaches for him, desperation thick in his voice. "Aiden, I promise you, I'll never abandon you. Even after marrying her. She's just there for duty. But you... you're here for my love, you are in my blood, in my heart, in my whole being. You will always mean everything to me."
Aiden laughs. A sharp, bitter sound.
"Oh, yeah?" His voice is laced with sarcasm and fury. His fists clench.
"This is what you've been telling me since you found out you were mated to someone else! You said you'd find a way to break the bond! You swore you'd marry me regardless of my gender, regardless of the pack's thoughts!
His voice cracks as the pain in his chest twists like a knife.
"You said it. But here you are-- walking away. Going to marry someone else. Swearing again how you will never abandon me!"
Lucian's jaw clenches.
"Aiden, it's not that simple to break the moon Goddess's bonding."
"Not that simple!?" Aiden's voice rises. His eyes burn, his chest heaves.
"Seven years! Seven good years! Why haven't you used that time to end the bond like you said? I've told you several times that I don't want to share you!"
His voice trembles. His fingers dig into the sheets, gripping them like a lifeline.
"Why can't you feel my pain? How can you claim to love me and not feel this pain?"
Lucian's hands cup Aiden's face, his thumbs wiping away the tears.
"Aiden,please stop talking like this." His voice is gentle, coaxing. "You know I love you. If only you understood the situation, maybe you'd see that I'm still trying. I just need time to find a way to be with you freely."
Aiden shakes his head, his eyes searching Lucian's. Desperate. Begging.
"You say there's no way to break the Moon Goddess's mating... then that means you plan to be with that woman forever. And even if you do marry her and still claim you'll be with me, do you really think the Moon Goddess is stupid? She will know you're still abandoning your mate to be with me. So where is the difference, Lucian?"
His chest heaves.
"Why the hell don't you stop making me wait? Stop making me hold on to something I will obviously never have!"
Lucian's grip tightens.
"I will never let you go, Aiden." His voice is fierce, raw. "You are everything to me. You've suffered with me through everything."
Aiden snaps.
"Then show me, Lucian! Show me that I really mean that much to you." His voice is a broken plea. "Your words are useless! Because you are still choosing her!"
The moment shatters when a hurried knock comes on the door. "Lucian, that's it, come on, you are really running out of time, everything is settled, you are the only one they are waiting for." Jackson- his beta calls from outside the door, his voice laced with urgency.
Lucian's body goes rigid.
Aiden feels the shift immediately, the change from his lover to his Alpha.
Lucian exhales, long and heavy. He knows he can't ignore this.
He turns back to Aiden. His hands tighten on his arms, his eyes begging.
"I'll be right back. Just give me a few minutes. I promise."
Aiden says nothing.
Lucian stands, pulling on his clothes with reluctant movements. His body screams to stay, but his mind knows he can't.
He opens the door and turns to Jackson.
"Stay here with him until I come back. Well, make sure he doesn't leave."
Jackson frowns. "What? I can't. I have to be with you at the ceremony..."
Lucian's gaze darkens. "Do I have to repeat myself?"
The authority in his voice is undeniable.
Jackson sighs but doesn't argue further.
Jackson is one of the people that Lucian interact with freely because they've known each other for so long.
But he also knows their jokes and arguments come to a pause in the moments like this, moments when Lucian is not Lucian anymore but the Alpha he is.
Lucian lingers at the door for a moment longer, his eyes still on Aiden.
He clenches his fists, then turns and strides out, toward duty. Toward the pack house-- the last place he wants to be.