A year ago, one question changed everything: "Are we friends?" In that moment, I felt like everything that had existed between us was erased, like everything simply ended. All that was left was silence. After that day, nothing was the same. But still, like every morning, I was on my way to school today. My steps were a bit heavier, a bit more thoughtful, echoing the aftermath of that moment.
I adjusted my hair, and kept walking. I wasn't excited about the lessons ahead; in fact, I wasn't really enjoying school anymore. Still, here I was. Maybe even today, I was starting to accept that nothing would change.
As I approached the door of the classroom, my eyes naturally drifted to the familiar figure in the corner. Ayumi, as always, sat alone by the window. I remembered her cold gaze, but once again, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. I recalled that moment from last year, the one question that had changed everything. "Are we friends?" After that question, nothing had been the same. And yet, every morning, I still came to this school. Maybe, even today, I was beginning to accept that some things might never change.
As I entered the classroom, I chose not to listen to the noise around me. Instead, I drowned in my thoughts. I was usually alone here, and that was fine. It wasn't anything new. Like this morning, my gaze was drawn to Ayumi. But, just like me, she seemed lost in her own world, uninterested in anyone else.
"Hey, we need to talk!" A voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts. It was Kenji's voice, coming from the back of the classroom.
Kenji, as usual, was trying to grab my attention. "What's up, Kenji?" I replied, keeping my tone casual.
"What are you doing? It's been a week, we haven't talked at all. That girl… again, eyes but no heart?" Kenji said, grinning. He always said things like that.
"Wait a second," I said, shaking my head. "I know I shouldn't focus on her. Really... but, sometimes it's hard."
Kenji smiled at me. "Yeah, it's hard, but something's gotta change," he said. "You've got so many chances, why waste them?"
These were the kinds of things Kenji always said to me. He was social, easygoing with girls, and never had trouble speaking his mind. Meanwhile, I was the one who always held back. But how meaningful were Kenji's words, really?
"You know, I'm just not good at this," I replied, a small smile forming inside me. "There's nothing to look at anyway."
Kenji teased me, "You haven't seen it, but what do you have to lose?" He grinned. "Just have some courage!"
---
Kenji's words were always the same. "Have some courage." Yeah, but even if I had the courage, I didn't know how to handle it. Talking to girls wasn't that simple. It was like my tongue got tied every time.
As my eyes drifted toward Ayumi again, I thought about that moment from last year. "Are we friends?" It was so simple, yet so complicated. Before she asked that question, everything had been normal. But after that question, everything changed.
Kenji's voice faded as I lost myself in thoughts. He was at the back of the class, talking to his friends, while I sat lost in my own head. Everyone else had their own issues, their own lives, but I... I was still stuck. I kept thinking about Ayumi's gaze. I hadn't spoken to her, hadn't touched her for days, and yet, there I was, stuck in my own thoughts.
"I have to do something, I have to do it," I mumbled to myself. Kenji's voice was a distant echo now. "What did you say?" He asked, as I lifted my head.
"I have to do something," I answered quickly.
Kenji looked at me over his glasses. "Yeah, but what are you going to do? Just thinking about it won't get you anywhere," he said. "You have to do something today."
My eyes instinctively went to Ayumi, and just as I looked at her, our gazes met. For a moment, time seemed to stop. Her eyes held something, a meaning, a sign… Maybe everything was changing. Maybe it wasn't that hard.
Kenji's voice echoed in my mind. "You have to do something today."
---
After school, I kept replaying Kenji's words in my head. Today, I had to do something. But what would I do? How would I talk to Ayumi? What could I say? My mind was full of a million questions.
As I walked out of the classroom, I saw Kenji appear by my side. "Are you going to do something today?" he asked.
I spotted Ayumi walking alone at the end of the corridor. My heart started to race. Kenji's words, "You have to do something," echoed in my ears.
I took a deep breath. "Yeah, today, I'm going to do something."