Chaos had overtaken the city.
The sky, once clear and peaceful, darkened in a matter of seconds.
Gale-force winds tore through Mondstadt as a deafening roar shook the city's very foundations.
Cass, Aether, and Paimon ran after Jean, following the Knights of Favonius toward the central plaza.
The houses trembled with every flap of the creature's wings.
Stormterror had arrived.
Cass watched the scene with complete indifference.
"So this is the troublesome dragon…" he murmured, staring at the massive winged creature with an utter lack of emotion on his face.
Aether was on high alert, gripping his sword tightly.
Paimon, floating beside him, seemed on the verge of hysteria, circling frantically.
"Paimon thinks this is WAY WORSE than expected!"
Cass sighed.
"Oh really? What gave it away? The wind blasts tearing apart the buildings, or the giant dragon in the sky?"
Paimon shot him a glare.
"We don't need your sarcasm right now, Cass!"
As they argued, Stormterror roared again and unleashed a wind blast that shattered part of the city wall.
Cass shielded his eyes from the dust and muttered,
"Well… I guess this is a problem now."
Jean raised her voice, giving orders with the precision of a seasoned commander.
"Reinforce the northern wall! Evacuate the civilians! Archers, fire as soon as you have a clear shot!"
The Knights of Favonius rushed to carry out her commands.
Meanwhile, Aether was already on the move.
With an agile leap, the Traveler dodged an attack from Stormterror and landed atop a rooftop.
Cass watched him with a raised eyebrow.
"Huh. So this shorty does know how to fight."
Paimon crossed her arms.
"The Traveler is amazing!"
Cass shrugged.
"Yeah, yeah. What a great protagonist. Now tell me, what exactly am I supposed to do?"
Paimon blinked.
"F-Fight?"
Cass gave her the most expressionless stare possible.
"…Paimon, it's a damn dragon. It's up there, and last I checked, I don't have wings on my back."
Before Paimon could respond, Jean ran up to him and tossed him a spare spear.
"If you can fight, do it now!"
Cass caught the spear on reflex and looked at Jean incredulously.
"You too, Jean?"
"Stop complaining and do something useful!" the Grand Master shot back before running off toward the battlefield.
Cass glanced at the spear in his hand.
It was… mediocre.
Not the worst spear in the world, but definitely the kind sold in any RPG tutorial shop.
He closed his eyes and sighed.
"Alright… guess I'll give it a shot."
[Activating Skill: Spear Conversion – Gae Bolg]
The spear emitted a faint red glow, its structure shifting into an imitation of the original Gae Bolg.
Cass twirled it in his hand, testing its weight.
"…It'll break after a few uses, but I guess it'll do for now."
Aether, from the rooftop, blocked one of Stormterror's attacks with his sword before quickly retreating.
Cass observed the scene, his face blank.
"Great. Now how the hell do I attack a giant dragon?"
At that moment, Stormterror roared and flapped its wings with immense force.
The resulting wind blast sent Cass flying like a ragdoll.
"Shiiiiiiiit!"
He spun through the air several times…
…before crashing face-first into an apple stand in the plaza.
CRASH!
Apples flew everywhere.
A random vendor gawked at the scene, mouth agape.
Paimon quickly flew over to where Cass had landed, looking at him with a mix of worry and… amusement?
"Cass, less eating and more fighting!"
Cass, his face buried in a pile of apples, mumbled,
"Gimme five minutes… or a better spear…"
Meanwhile, Aether continued his battle against the dragon.
Paimon watched nervously.
"Paimon thinks the Traveler needs help!"
Cass, still on the ground, weakly raised a hand.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm on it… Just… let the world stop spinning first."
But then, something even worse happened.
A voice—one far too familiar—echoed across the battlefield.
"Oh my, my! How could you be having fun without me?!"
Cass, still lying on the ground, felt a chill run down his spine.
His expression turned to pure and absolute dread.
No.
It couldn't be.
Paimon, ever innocent, blinked.
"Isn't that…?"
Cass slowly lifted his head, his face twisting into sheer horror.
"No. No. No way. NOT HIM."
But yes.
Mondstadt's favorite bard had arrived on the battlefield.
Venti was here.
Cass suddenly felt like crying.
Why does this drunk have to show up at the worst moments? Somehow, he could bet his bad luck was due to this guy's presence.
Otherwise, what other reason could there be for someone as kind and good-hearted as him to suffer such terrible misfortune?
And worst of all…
He was carrying his wine jug.
Cass gritted his teeth.
"If he dares to do something stupid…"
Paimon looked at Cass, then at Venti.
"Paimon thinks this is going to be interesting!"
Cass covered his face with his hands.
"Shit. You just cursed us."
*******
The wind roared over Mondstadt as Stormterror continued to destroy the city with its aerial attacks.
Aether was trying to dodge and counterattack whenever he could, but the dragon was too agile in the air.
Cass, still on the ground with an apple stuck to his face, was trying to get up with absolute lack of motivation.
"…This isn't fair."
Paimon floated beside him, looking worried.
"Paimon thinks you should move before Stormterror launches you again!"
Cass removed the apple from his face and slowly stood up.
Then, he tossed it aside. Paimon, with incredible speed, immediately caught it and ate it on the spot.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, edible fairy…"
"Paimon is NOT edible!"
At that moment, Venti gracefully landed on the rooftop of a house, wine jug in one hand and a smug smile that screamed "I'm the most annoying being in this world."
Cass felt the urge to throw something at his head.
"No."
Venti tilted his head in confusion.
"No what?"
Cass pointed to the sky.
"Don't do anything stupid."
Venti blinked innocently.
"Oh, Cass, do you really think I'd do something reckless in such a dangerous situation~?"
Cass covered his face with one hand. He hadn't even known him for a full day, yet he could already tell—this guy was a complete disaster in human form.
"Yes. Yes, you would."
Before he could continue, Aether was struck by a gust of wind from Stormterror and crashed to the ground nearby.
"Traveler!" Paimon cried.
Aether slowly sat up, breathing heavily.
Cass took in the situation and sighed.
"Alright. Break's over, time for the star to step onto the field."
He raised his spear again.
"Time to try again."
But before he could move, Venti raised a hand.
"Wait, wait, my friends. I think I can help here."
Cass felt a chill.
"No."
Venti ignored his objection and lifted his lyre with a confident smile.
"Stormterror, my old friend! Listen to my melody~!"
Cass paled.
"Don't sing to the dragon, you idiot!"
But it was already too late.
Venti began to play his lyre dramatically, as if he were performing a tragic opera.
The sound echoed throughout the city…
Stormterror, who had been mercilessly attacking everyone up to that moment, suddenly stopped.
The dragon hovered in the air as if listening to the music.
Cass narrowed his eyes.
"No way… Is it actually working?"
Aether cautiously stood up.
"It looks like it is."
Paimon blinked in awe.
"Paimon thinks Venti can really calm him down!"
Cass wasn't convinced.
"…Either that, or the dragon is just confused because he's never heard a serenade in the middle of an attack—let alone one that sounds like a Taylor Swift song."
Venti kept playing, his face full of theatrical emotion.
"Oh, Stormterror~ my friend~ remember who you are in your heart~."
Stormterror blinked slowly.
The chaotic winds seemed to calm down for a moment.
Cass started to think that maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't end in complete disaster.
Until Venti decided to go for the grand finale.
The bard raised his wine jug and, with a confident smile, shouted in a clear voice:
"For our old friendship, Dvalin! Let's drink together like in the old days!"
Absolute silence.
Cass felt his soul leave his body.
"No."
Stormterror roared in even greater fury than before. And then proceeded to destroy the nearest building…
The inn where they had been staying.
Cass watched the scene in horror.
"NOOOOOOO."
The dragon flapped its wings forcefully, sending a destructive gust of wind across the plaza.
Aether, Cass, and Paimon were blown away like ragdolls.
CRASH!
Cass landed in a cart full of cabbages, which exploded around him like a vegetable grenade.
Aether ended up inside a barrel of water.
Paimon got tangled in a hanging banner.
And Venti…
Venti, the one responsible for the catastrophe…
Landed perfectly on top of a wooden post, without a single scratch.
Cass, eyes full of cabbage, stood up trembling with rage.
His spear demanded justice.
"…I'm going to kill him."
Paimon, still hanging from the banner, screamed:
"What did you SAY to the dragon, Venti?!"
Venti scratched the back of his head with a nervous smile.
"Ehhh… seems like I brought up a memory he didn't like very much."
Aether, soaking wet with the barrel still on his head, shouted from his spot:
"WHY the hell would you try to invite a dragon to drink?!"
Cass shook off the cabbages and raised his spear in fury.
"I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. YOU."
But before he could fulfill his threat, Stormterror let out one last roar and began to fly away from the city.
The dragon retreated, soaring at full speed toward the mountains.
Cass watched the scene, still seething.
"…Did he leave?"
Venti slowly backed away, hoping no one would notice.
Jean appeared beside them, breathing heavily.
"It seems so… but this isn't over."
Cass raised his hand like a student asking permission.
"Does that mean I can kill Venti now?"
Jean ignored him.
Aether climbed out of the barrel, drenched and emotionally shattered.
Paimon floated down from the banner and hovered toward them.
"Paimon thinks this could have gone worse!"
Cass closed his eyes.
"…I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
Jean looked at them seriously.
"We need to talk."
Cass groaned internally.
"Great. Because this day totally couldn't get any worse."
***********
After the disaster they had just gone through, Cass, Aether, and Paimon were escorted to the Knights of Favonius headquarters for an urgent meeting with Jean.
Cass still had cabbages in her hair.
Aether was still soaking wet.
Paimon seemed to be the only one happy to be there.
Venti, in a display of total audacity, kept smiling as if nothing had happened.
He was sitting in his chair, kicking his feet while humming a song.
Cass hadn't taken her eyes off him.
If looks could kill, Venti would already be six feet under in Mondstadt's cemetery.
Jean sighed and rubbed her temples.
"Alright… now that the disaster is over, I want answers."
She looked at Venti with a serious expression.
"You. Bard. Explain what just happened."
Venti scratched the back of his neck nonchalantly.
"Well~ Stormterror, or rather, Dvalin, wasn't always this aggressive. He used to protect Mondstadt. But… let's just say he had some communication issues."
Cass crossed her arms skeptically.
"'Communication issues'? No, buddy. A communication issue is when someone forgets to text you back. Not when a dragon tries to wipe out a city."
Venti clicked his tongue.
"Oh, come on, don't be so harsh."
Aether, arms crossed, joined in.
"And what does this have to do with you?"
Venti smiled proudly.
"I was the one who helped him in the past. Dvalin is an old friend of mine."
Absolute silence.
Cass stared at him blankly.
"…Then why the hell does he hate you so much now?"
Venti laughed nervously.
"Eh… well, there were some misunderstandings."
Cass closed her eyes for a second.
"Let me guess. Was it because you pulled a stupid prank on him?"
Venti remained silent.
Cass slowly opened her eyes.
"…Oh my god. That's exactly it, isn't it?"
"H-How was I supposed to know he was weak to electricity and ice?"
Cass couldn't help but sigh.
Did things here work based on Pokémon-type matchups or what?
Jean sighed.
"Let's put that aside for now. The important thing is that Stormterror is still a threat."
She looked at Cass and Aether seriously.
"I'm going to need your help to solve this problem."
Cass placed a dramatic hand on her chest.
"Oh, what a surprise. Something tells me I don't have a choice."
Jean ignored the comment—future corporate slaves shouldn't growl at their future boss like rabid dogs. She'd have to train him properly some other time.
"According to Venti, there's a way to calm Dvalin. But we need to find the Dragon's Tears."
Cass blinked.
"Excuse me, the what?"
Venti explained with a mysterious air as he tossed some glitter he had in his pocket.
"Dvalin has been suffering a lot, and his emotions have left physical traces in the world. His crystallized tears can help us purify him."
Cass remained silent for a few seconds.
"Uh-huh… So. Let me see if I got this straight."
He gestured with his hands.
"We have to go around looking for magical dragon tears… like we're on some kind of ingredient quest for tea?"
Paimon nodded cheerfully.
"Paimon thinks that sums it up well!"
Cass covered his face with both hands.
"…Why does this feel more and more like a generic RPG?"
Aether, being more practical, nodded seriously.
"Alright. Where do we find these tears?"
Jean looked at Kaeya.
"Kaeya, do you have any information on that?"
Kaeya smiled playfully. At some point, he had sat down next to Cass, his hand gently stroking her leg, sending shivers down her spine.
"Oh, of course. But… I might want something in return."
Cass shot him a flat look while removing his hand from her leg.
"Kaeya, if you try to flirt with me again, I swear I'm throwing you out the window."
Kaeya chuckled in amusement.
"Relax, relax. I was just joking~ Though it could be real if you want. You know, the nation of freedom and all." He said with a wink.
Venti placed a hand on his chest.
"Oh, Cass, you make me so jealous! To be this popular just days after arriving in Mondstadt… you must be a very lucky person."
Cass glared at him.
"You shut up before I shove this spear somewhere the sun doesn't shine."
Jean sighed, clearly losing patience.
"Kaeya. Focus."
Kaeya cleared his throat.
"Alright. I have reports that one of the crystallized tears is in a nearby Hilichurl camp."
Cass frowned.
"Great. More dancing Hilichurls."
Jean nodded.
"Then your mission is clear. Retrieve the Dragon's Tear."
Cass looked at Aether, exhausted.
"Ready for another adventure?"
Aether sighed.
"We don't have a choice, do we?"
Cass patted his back.
"…We could always run away from the city and find a cave to live in."
Paimon flew in front of them excitedly.
"Paimon thinks it'll be as easy as it is for Cass to go flying!"
Cass froze completely.
Aether closed his eyes.
Jean frowned.
Cass finally sighed and looked at Paimon with a deadpan expression.
"You know what, Paimon? Just for that… something horrible is going to happen."
Paimon crossed her arms.
"Paimon doesn't believe in those silly superstitions! You shouldn't be so negative, Cass."
Cass turned to Aether.
"Want to bet how long it takes for us to get into trouble?"
Aether thought for a second.
"…Ten minutes."
Cass nodded.
"I say five."
Jean shot them a warning look. For a moment, she barely restrained her urge to pull out two leather collars from her drawer and train them properly like the dogs they were.
But with sheer willpower, she held back. They were still adventurers, not yet Knights of Favonius. She couldn't train them just yet.
"Please, take this seriously."
Cass whispered to Aether.
"Translation: 'I'm going to work you like there's no tomorrow.'"
Jean glared at them.
"I'll be watching you… especially you." She said, staring at Cass.
For some reason, her instincts told her that a leather collar and a leash would suit him perfectly.
Cass tried to laugh, but deep down, he knew Jean wasn't joking.
And so, the team set off on their new mission, ready to find the Dragon's Tear…
*********
The team advanced through the hills of Mondstadt, heading toward the Hilichurl camp where, according to Kaeya, the Dragon's Tear was located.
Aether remained silent, keeping an eye on their surroundings.
Paimon floated cheerfully, oblivious to the seriousness of the situation.
And Venti…
Venti had tagged along on the mission.
Cass had no idea how they convinced him to let him come.
Maybe Jean promised to keep an eye on him to prevent further disasters.
Maybe Aether had an odd sense of compassion.
Or maybe Paimon was just excited to have another companion.
Whatever the reason, Cass was not happy with the decision.
"Why the hell is the drunk bard following us?"
Venti laughed lightly, wrapping an arm around Cass for balance.
"Oh, come on, Cass! Don't be so cold. I'm a valuable ally on this mission!"
Cass stared at him blankly.
"Do you have a weapon?"
"I have my lyre."
"That doesn't count."
"I can sing to boost morale."
Cass blinked slowly.
"If we ever need morale in a fight, it means something went wrong."
Venti smirked mischievously.
"Wow, I didn't know you could be so dominant, Cass~."
Cass rubbed his face in exhaustion. Something told him he'd be getting gray hairs soon.
Aether patted his shoulder sympathetically.
Cass let out a deep sigh.
"Come on, let's finish this quickly."
.....
The team arrived at the Hilichurl camp without any major issues.
The Hilichurls were gathered in the center, doing...
Cass narrowed his eyes.
Aether frowned as well.
"It can't be..."
Paimon flew around excitedly.
"Paimon thinks it's a festival!"
Cass closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Why the hell are they putting on a play?"
The Hilichurls had set up a small makeshift stage with wooden backdrops and rustic decorations.
One Hilichurl was dressed as a prince, another wore a long wig and a dress, and several more played the roles of guards and villagers.
A hanging sign, written in awful handwriting, read:
"Hilichurleo and Jean-lieta"
Cass felt a tic in his eye.
Aether grabbed his arm.
"Cass, don't do it."
"I'm going to burn this damn camp down."
"Don't do it."
"I'm going to wipe out their entire culture in a single day. This thing is an insult to the eyes, to good taste—it's like Emilia Pérez."
"Cass."
"I'm going to reduce every piece of theater this species tries to create to ashes. They're artistic terrorists."
Venti gave a small clap.
"Oh! I like their creativity. Maybe I could write them a song."
Cass slowly turned to look at him.
"Venti, do you want to end up as my makeshift punching bag?"
Venti laughed awkwardly and raised his hands in surrender.
"Oh, Cass, you're so violent~."
Aether sighed.
"Alright. How do we get the tear back?"
Cass seriously considered the answer.
At the center of the stage, the Hilichurl "Jean-lieta" was holding a bright blue gem—the Dragon's Tear.
They were using it as the "symbolic heart" for the final scene.
Paimon sparkled with excitement.
"Paimon thinks we can just wait until the play is over and then take it!"
Cass laughed humorlessly.
"Yeah, sure, let's sit back and watch their version of Hilichurl-kespeare."
Aether turned to him.
"So what's your plan?"
Cass twirled his spear and grinned.
"I'm going to steal it in the middle of the performance."
Aether frowned.
"That sounds incredibly risky."
"Of course."
"And very irresponsible."
"Obviously."
"Then why are we doing it?"
Cass smiled calmly.
"Because after everything that happened today, I want to get drunk until I forget my own name."
Venti nodded as if he saw no issue with this. He even seemed excited as he began telling Cass about the different types of alcohol available in Mondstadt, their prices, qualities, and more.
********
Cass's plan didn't last long.
Just as he was sneaking toward the stage to grab the tear, a thunderous noise shook the sky.
The wind turned fierce.
The Hilichurls ran away in a panic.
Paimon screamed.
"What's happening?!"
Cass looked up.
In the sky, a massive shadow was descending at full speed.
Stormterror—Dvalin.
Aether cursed.
"I didn't expect him to show up this soon!"
Cass raised his spear. The dragon was flying low. He finally had a chance to get revenge for the humiliation it had dealt him earlier!
He held his spear in a combat stance, ready to throw everything he had at it… and it snapped.
Cass blinked.
"Oh, shit."
Looking around frantically, he searched for anything he could use to replace his spear.
His gaze finally landed on Venti.
Venti seemed to notice his expression.
"Cass... what are you thinking?"
Cass averted his eyes.
"...Nothing, nothing."
He couldn't let him suspect anything.
Venti slowly stepped back.
"Cass... your smile is scaring me."
Cass took a step toward him, his grin so wicked that even Kazuma himself would call him depraved.
"Come here for a second."
Venti covered his chest with his arms and blushed.
"Oh no! Has Cass awakened certain hidden feelings for me?"
Cass froze.
"What?"
Venti averted his gaze, his face even redder.
"Oh, I see… it's one of those situations, isn't it? Do you wish to claim me as payment for my debts? Use me as your personal possession? Am I to be the innocent young man trapped in such a cruel fate?"
Cass blinked in absolute confusion.
What the hell was this guy saying?
Aether facepalmed.
Paimon remained silent, equally confused.
Venti kept rambling.
"Perhaps this is fate! I, a young and beautiful bard, reduced to being the partner of a guy who looks like a shady loan shark, subjected to his endless libido every day..."
Cass grabbed him by the arm and lifted him up like a weapon.
"Shut up already, will you?!"
Venti screamed.
"W-What?! Cass, I haven't even prepared my heart yet!" Venti blushed even more. "A-And I don't have any experience with other men."
Before he could protest further, Cass hurled him with all his strength toward Dvalin.
"Gae-Venti!"
Aether watched the scene in pure astonishment.
"Oh my god."
Venti flew straight toward the dragon.
"Wow, look at Venti go!" Paimon seemed genuinely excited by the sight.
Stormterror caught him mid-air with its claws. Its eyes gleamed, and its tail swayed side to side.
For a brief moment, Aether had the illusion that, at least in the dragon's eyes, Venti was nothing more than a frisbee thrown to a dog.
Cass dusted off his hands.
"Alright. Problem solved."
Aether stared at him, speechless.
"Cass."
"Yeah?"
"You just let Dvalin take Venti."
"Yep."
"Don't you think we should rescue him?"
Cass crossed his arms and looked up at the sky.
"…"
"Cass."
"…He sacrificed himself for the team. He will always be remembered as a hero in Mondstadt."
"Cass."
Cass let out a long, heavy sigh.
"God. I hate my life."
Paimon clapped her tiny hands excitedly.
"That means we have a new mission! Rescuing Venti!"
Cass closed his eyes in frustration.
"Perfect. More problems."
Aether patted his back again.
"Cheer up, buddy. This is just the beginning."
At that moment, Cass truly wondered—
Where the hell is the alcohol when you need it?