Su Mi placed the bucket she was holding down against the wall and gently blew on her swollen palms. This cursed weather—winter had barely begun, and it was already this cold.
Yesterday, the first snow of the season had fallen, and today the sky was clear with bright sunshine. The sun shone directly overhead, but there wasn't a hint of warmth. Even though it had been sunny all day, the snow still hadn't melted a bit from the tree branches. Instead, the cold wind grew stronger by the hour, slicing through the air like a sharp knife, making her bones ache with the chill.
Luckily, she had just put on the cotton clothes she had made yesterday, she thought, as she stomped her feet to warm them.
Looking up, she saw the sky was already growing dim. She needed to hurry and bring the water back. Her mistress was waiting for it inside.
As she bent down to pick up the bucket and took a step forward, she heard someone calling from behind.
"Su Sister, Su Sister..."
She turned around to find it was the young eunuch, Xiao Luzi, from the eastern courtyard of Cawei Palace. He was hurriedly running toward her.
"Sister, how come you're out fetching water today? With this weather and the icy road, let me take it," Xiao Luzi said, reaching out to grab the bucket from Su Mi.
"After yesterday's heavy snow, the well in the courtyard froze up. This morning, when I dropped the bucket into the well, it made such a loud noise that both I and Mistress Wei got startled," Su Mi explained. Seeing that he insisted on taking the bucket, she didn't refuse any longer.
"You must not know this, but when it snows, the wellmouth should be covered at night. You can use any lid, and best to cover it with a layer of straw. If you do that, it'll be fine in the morning when you uncover it."
As they walked forward, they continued to talk.
"Looking at the weather, it seems like we'll have to fetch water for a few days," Su Mi said, gently blowing on her numb hands, wondering when the weather might warm up.
"It's probably still too early," Xiao Luzi shook his head. "By the way, Su Sister, you're from the south, right? You've probably never experienced such cold before. It's just the Winter Solstice now, and it's bound to get even colder. Has Mistress Wei's illness gotten any better?"
He was referring to Su Mi's mistress, the talented woman, Wei Qing'er, in the eastern courtyard of Cawei Palace.
"No improvement yet. I still have to go get her medicine later," Su Mi replied, shaking her head. Wei Qing'er had entered the palace with her in the spring. Not long after arriving, she fell ill and had been weak and listless ever since, her menstrual cycle irregular.
"Why is it that all the work falls on you, Sister? Isn't there Hui'er, that girl? She's so lazy. She's always making you do all the work." Xiao Luzi said indignantly.
According to palace rules, a sixth-rank talent, like Wei Qing'er, would have two personal attendants in addition to the servants responsible for cleaning. Su Mi worked alongside Hui'er to attend to Mistress Wei.
"Hui'er's always been like this. You know that," Su Mi responded.
Xiao Luzi was also a young eunuch from the eastern courtyard of Cawei Palace. The eastern courtyard had no master living in it, only a vacant space, and it was just Xiao Luzi and a young maid who were responsible for daily cleaning and maintenance. Because they lived nearby, and having only entered the palace recently, the few of them had become familiar with each other. Xiao Luzi was known for his diligence and would often come over to help Su Mi with some chores.
Not long ago, Xiao Luzi's older brother outside had fallen gravely ill, and it seemed like he was on the verge of passing. The family was in a state of panic. They only had these two sons, and because they were so poor, they had sold the younger one into the palace to serve as a eunuch. Now, they were pinning all their hopes on the older brother to carry on the family name.
When Su Mi heard about this, she asked after the brother's condition, and after learning the details, she wrote out a prescription and secretly took a few doses of medicine from Wei Qing'er's supply. She gave it to Xiao Luzi, who had it sent back home for his brother to take. To everyone's surprise, the brother recovered in just a few days. From then on, Xiao Luzi treated Su Mi like a savior, frequently coming over to help her with tasks.
"I don't think it's just that she's lazy, but that she's trying to climb the ranks," Xiao Luzi said with a look of disdain, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. He lowered his voice and continued, "Sister, you won't believe what I saw the other day when I went to visit my master."
Su Mi raised an eyebrow, intrigued by his mysterious tone, and asked, "What did you see?"
"The white jade hairpin—the one Hui'er keeps calling a family heirloom and treats like treasure—it was in my master's cabinet."
Su Mi's heart skipped a beat as she immediately understood. Eunuchs with significant positions in the palace were often fabulously wealthy. For example, those who served in places like Qianqing Palace, although they lived dangerously close to the emperor, were highly coveted for their insider knowledge. What the emperor had been up to lately, what food he enjoyed, which colors the favored concubine Yun Fei preferred—such information was worth a fortune. Xiao Luzi's master, Wei Fulong, was a steward eunuch in charge of tea service at Qianqing Palace, and sometimes, he had access to valuable rumors.
"Has your master made a small fortune, then?" Su Mi teased.
"That old miser," Xiao Luzi spat bitterly. "He earns all that money and still tries to cut our rations. He's saving it all for his own coffin."
In the palace, any eunuch with a bit of status had disciples—some had only a few, others had hundreds. Officially, they were called 'disciples,' but the real purpose was to build their own power. Xiao Luzi, for instance, gave half of his monthly allowance to his master. Fortunately, he was charming and clever, and the tasks assigned to him weren't too bad. Though serving an esteemed master was far less glamorous than being assigned to a favored concubine, it was much easier than the grueling work in the kitchens or wardrobe.
"You'd better be careful, or your master might send you to the Cold Palace," Su Mi joked.
"If he dares, I'm not afraid." Xiao Luzi said defiantly, though he couldn't help but look around nervously.
"However, Su Sister," he added in a lower voice, "if you look at Hui'er—honestly, even if she did see the emperor, she'd be like a string of beans on a rope. But if it were you, there might actually be a chance."
"Stop talking nonsense," Su Mi shot him a glare.
"I'm telling the truth! You don't believe me? Honestly, if you dressed up, you'd be so much better than Hui'er, that little girl who's always slathering on makeup. If you really put some effort into it, I bet you'd be just as beautiful as Yun Fei, who's currently the emperor's favorite." Xiao Luzi spoke quickly, trying to convince her.
Su Mi's expression hardened, and in a low, stern voice, she said, "Stop. Such things should never be said by us servants. If someone else hears it, who knows what kind of trouble it could cause. Never mention this again."
Xiao Luzi quickly realized he'd said the wrong thing. He nervously glanced around, afraid to say more.
After a brief moment, they had reached the east gate of Caiwei Palace. Su Mi took the water bucket from Xiao Luzi's hands and sent him off, then stepped inside the courtyard.
The east wing of Caiwei Palace, where they lived, was a modest side courtyard. Despite its small size, it was complete in every way. There was the main hall, two heated chambers, and a few corner rooms for the servants, totaling seven or eight rooms. Originally, the place had been intended for two lower-ranked concubines. The current emperor had only been on the throne for three years, and the imperial harem wasn't full, so it was only occupied by Wei Qing'er, a lesser-ranked concubine. In fact, the entire Caiwei Palace housed just four masters, including the senior concubine Zheng Gui Pin and Wei Qing'er.
Su Mi, carrying the water bucket, was about to enter when she almost bumped into someone rushing out. She stepped back slightly, looking up to see Hui'er.
Hui'er wore a water-green palace gown, with two silk flowers adorning her side bun. Two jade ear pendants dangled from her ears, and her face was lightly powdered, which only highlighted her fair, delicate skin.
On closer inspection, the girl really was somewhat charming, with a natural, delicate beauty that could easily catch anyone's eye. No wonder she was so eager to climb higher in rank. Su Mi couldn't help but recall Xiao Luzi's earlier words and, with a quiet thought, found herself considering them.
Hui'er, who had been about to leave, was caught off guard when she saw Su Mi holding the water bucket. A flush crept onto her cheeks. She was about to say something, but when she saw the way Su Mi was examining her, her expression half-smiling, half-amused, a wave of irritation swept over her. Embarrassment quickly turned into frustration. She opened her mouth, saying, "Why is it that Sister is fetching water? Those lazy servants are truly hateful."
Fetching water was typically the responsibility of the rougher servants from each palace, but since Wei Qing'er had fallen ill, things had changed. At first, the servants had still done their duties faithfully, but after Wei Qing'er's condition persisted for months, they began to slack off, reluctant to lift a finger unless given multiple reminders. By now, after more than half a year of illness, no matter how often Su Mi and Hui'er ordered the servants, they would only delay or make excuses. Half a month ago, they'd ordered the servants to fetch water, but even by the end of the month, not a drop had been seen. So, Su Mi had no choice but to handle the task herself. As for Hui'er, being lazy and indifferent, she often left all the work to Su Mi.
"Are we supposed to wait for a servant to do our bidding?" Su Mi replied irritably, "Who told us we weren't born to be mistresses?"
Hui'er's expression faltered slightly, as though Su Mi had read her thoughts. She quickly shifted the topic, saying, "Why does it have to be about being a mistress? If we could serve a good one, it would be the greatest blessing of all. If only our mistress could find favor, maybe we'd even have a chance to show ourselves, like Yun Fei. I even heard Yun Fei is short on people. Of course, I wouldn't dare dream of such things, being so clumsy and awkward, but you, Sister, you're so clever…"
"Do we have any right to discuss our mistress?" Su Mi interrupted her coldly, her tone dismissive. She was tired of the conversation and turned to put down the water bucket, heading inside.
Hui'er, stung by the sharp remark, felt a pang of annoyance but said nothing more. As she was about to leave, she suddenly remembered something and turned back to say, "Sister, just now, Sister Xiangluo from Zheng Gui Pin's side came by and said this month's allowance is ready. She asked you to go pick it up."
With that, Hui'er turned and walked out.
Su Mi entered the room, stoking the fire in the stove to heat the water. Once the water was warmed, she picked up the medicine bowl, lifted the curtain, and entered the inner chamber, heading toward the heated room.
Wei Qing'er was reclining against the bed, looking like a wilting flower at first glance. Her complexion was pale and ashen, and her once full, delicate cheeks had sunken, leaving her face gaunt. Her eyes were dull, void of the spark they once held.
"Has the mistress awakened?" Su Mi placed the medicine bowl on the bedside.
"Don't call me 'mistress' anymore. Just call me 'Qing'er,' like before," Wei Qing'er said, her voice still as clear and melodious as it had been before.
"Alright, Qing'er. It's time for you to take your medicine," Su Mi hesitated for a moment but then complied, gently helping her sit up.
"I fear my illness will never be cured. No matter how many medicines I take, it's like pouring water into the sand," Wei Qing'er sighed, shaking her head. "If I can leave this world a day earlier, at least that will be a blessing. Instead, I've caused you to suffer alongside me."
Su Mi froze, her heart sinking. She quickly understood that Wei Qing'er must have overheard Hui'er's words.
"Don't listen to that little troublemaker, Hui'er. It's just a case of poor adaptation to the climate. After this winter, you'll feel better," Su Mi said, trying to offer comfort.
But Wei Qing'er only shook her head, silent and withdrawn. Seeing her gray, lifeless expression, Su Mi's heart tightened. She placed the medicine bowl down and, with a more serious tone, said, "Qing'er, it's just a few words from a servant. Why let it weigh on your heart? If you could release some of that burden, you might feel better. Though we're lonely and isolated here in the palace, at least we have each other."
But seeing the look on Wei Qing'er's face, Su Mi knew her words had fallen on deaf ears. She had said this many times before, with no effect, and knew she had no power to solve her friend's pain. After all, she, too, had her own burdens—ones with no answers or comfort.
"Let's just get the medicine down first," Su Mi said, trying to keep things moving. She picked up the bowl again and helped Wei Qing'er drink it, then carefully tucked her back into bed, adjusting the covers.
As she watched Wei Qing'er's pale, gaunt face, Su Mi's thoughts wandered, and a wave of nostalgia hit her. She faintly remembered the first time she met this girl.
It was four years ago, when she was twelve. She had walked hand-in-hand with her adoptive father into the palace of Wei Guo. He was there to treat the empress, the beautiful but frail Róu Fei. As they walked down the long corridor, Su Mi marveled at the palace's beauty, all the while pouting and playfully asking her father if she could live there too.
Her father, both amused and exasperated, had gently pinched her small nose. Just then, a burst of laughter reached her ears. She turned to see a group of girls her age, playing a game of shuttlecock on a patch of fresh green grass. Among them, one girl stood out—dressed in red, her delicate face glistening with sweat as she laughed and counted. The sunlight of early spring filtered through the trees, making her seem even more vibrant.
Her father tugged her along, and as they moved forward, the branches of the trees soon obscured the scene. Su Mi felt a pang of longing, watching the girls. That shuttlecock was beautifully made—far more vibrant than the golden feathers of the pheasants her father caught.
When they reached Róu Fei's quarters, Su Mi met the empress, who was just as gentle and beautiful as the rumors had said. In that moment, she found herself comparing the empress to her own mother and stepmother. Her real mother, in Su Mi's eyes, was the most beautiful woman in the world, though she had never seen anyone quite like her. Her stepmother was also beautiful, but not quite as striking. Yet, compared to the delicate Róu Fei, her stepmother was still slightly more captivating.
As Su Mi was lost in these comparisons, a delicate face appeared from behind Róu Fei—one with large, shining eyes. It was the red-dressed girl she had seen earlier, the one who was laughing on the grass. Later, Su Mi would learn that this girl was Róu Fei's daughter, Yíqīng Empress's daughter, Wei Qing'er.
Róu Fei's chronic illness, an affliction she had suffered from for years, would often flare up, making treatment difficult. To ensure better care, she had arranged for Su Mi and her adoptive father to temporarily stay in the palace's medical quarters.
It didn't take long before Su Mi and Wei Qing'er became close. Despite being the imperial daughter, Wei Qing'er was kind, cheerful, and unpretentious. She wasn't the spoiled, arrogant type one might expect from a royal, and the palace wasn't burdened with rigid rules. The two girls played together often, their bond growing strong. By the time Róu Fei recovered, Su Mi had become a true friend to Wei Qing'er. When it was time for her to leave, they were both reluctant to part.
Seeing this, Róu Fei suggested Su Mi stay on, especially since Wei Qing'er had just turned twelve and, according to palace customs, it was time for her to find a companion. Thus, Su Mi remained, accompanying the lively, round-faced girl through the halls of the palace.
Years later, the mighty army of Dàqí laid siege to Wei Guo, a small southern kingdom. In a single night, the kingdom fell, and its royal family, including Wei Qing'er, was captured as war prizes. The surviving noblewomen, imperial daughters, and consorts were taken to the capital of Dàqí.
In the blink of an eye, these women's worlds were turned upside down. They had no time to make any decisions—nor were they given the chance. They were either assigned as rewards to victorious soldiers or sent to the emperor's harem. All they could do was wait, helpless, for fate to decide their cruel or somewhat gentler fate.
Wei Qing'er, along with a few of the most beautiful girls from the fallen kingdom, was selected to enter the harem. Su Mi, as Wei Qing'er's personal maid, was also brought into the palace.
They entered the grand palace of Dàqí in April of this year, but barely after their arrival, Wei Qing'er fell ill. Su Mi understood well that the weight of the devastation—from being an imperial princess, sheltered and unaware of the world's cruelty, to the collapse of her nation and the brutal loss of her family—had shattered her. What broke her completely, however, was the death of her mother, Róu Fei, who had succumbed to illness and hardship while being transported to the capital. With that, Wei Qing'er lost the last person she had to rely on, the final thread of hope that might have kept her going.
Su Mi often thought that, if not for this illness, perhaps Wei Qing'er would not have survived this far.
In the deeply entangled web of power and intrigue that was the palace, the women like Wei Qing'er, who had lost everything—family, home, and country—were the most vulnerable, with no support or protection. Of the other women who had entered the palace alongside her, several had met tragic fates. Yí'ān Empress, a year older than Wei Qing'er, had drowned in a freak accident in July. Yìyù Empress, after a miscarriage, had died soon after. Another princess had spoken out of turn and angered the Empress, only to be sent to the cold palace, where she died not long afterward. The remaining women lived their days in constant fear, walking on eggshells, terrified of making any mistake that might provoke the emperor or the palace's powerful figures.
For them, the emperor's favor was not so much a blessing as a death sentence, a sword hanging above their heads, ready to strike at any moment.
If life for the mistresses was precarious, it was far worse for the servants like Su Mi, who had been brought to the palace as little more than accessories. At least she knew of one such tragic case—the maid Chui'er, who had once played with them in the Wei palace, was killed after being unintentionally favored by the emperor. She was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, and for a small misstep, she was struck down without mercy.
Su Mi absently stirred the ashes in the hearth with a hook. Having learned medicine from her adoptive father since she was young, she could recognize the signs of Wei Qing'er's illness. She could tell that it would likely be the winter that would claim her life. Perhaps it was for the best, she thought, a bitter thought creeping into her mind. Once Wei Qing'er was gone, she would have one less person to worry about. No… she corrected herself, there would be nothing left to hold onto in this world.
A self-deprecating laugh escaped her lips, tinged with bitterness. "Su Mi, isn't this what you've been waiting for all along?"
She discarded the fire hook and, with a sigh, went to the cupboard to retrieve a towel and soap beans. Filling a basin with hot water, she carried it into the inner room. There was little else she could do for now, except to make Wei Qing'er's remaining days as comfortable as possible.