Toothless had spent the last ten minutes muttering to himself at the top of the mast. At first he was so full of self-pity he had no time to worry about what was happening to his masters. "NOBODY loves T-T-Toothless," he said to himself.
But then the noises from the Roman ship got louder, and the boys did not reappear, and he started to get worried.
When he heard Hiccup's YELL for help the little dragon called off his strike.
He zoomed off his perch and flew to the ship, and even from the height he was flying, his sharp little eyes immediately spotted that way down below on the deck there was a large Roman centurion who was holding Fishlegs by the leg.
The centurion was about to execute Fishlegs with his sword.
Toothless folded his wings back and went into a dive, just as he might do if he were hunting mackerel or herring. His target was the centurion's head, and by the time he reached it, he was going so fast he was a little dragon blur. He tore into the helmet, sending 59 feathers from the plume flying in all directions, and bit and scratched as hard as he could.
The centurion let out a yell of surprise and rage. For a moment he was knocked off balance, but he recovered when he realized his attacker was only a very small dragon. Fishlegs swung desperately from side to side, trying to break free; but the centurion was made of tough stuff. He tightened his grip on Fishlegs's ankle and swung his sword around, trying to hit Toothless with it.
So Hiccup grabbed a passing Slitherfang and shoved it up the centurion's tunic. The centurion let out a bellow and dropped Fishlegs.
Wouldn't you?
A Slitherfang in the knickers is no laughing matter. The centurion hopped from foot to foot, clutching his bottom and squealing like a pig as he tried to catch hold of the nibbling, wriggling, scratching Slitherfang in his underwear.
"Let's get out of here!" howled Hiccup, hauling Fishlegs to his feet.
He also picked up a Roman helmet that was lying on the deck nearby. They were going to have some explaining to do to Gobber when they got back, and this might help.
60 [Image: A slither fang in the KNICKERS is NO LAUGHING MATTER.] 61 All around them there was chaos, with dragons attacking Romans and Romans attacking dragons and trying to put out the fires the dragons were making.
Hearts racing as fast as rabbits, panting and stumbling, Hiccup and Fishlegs ran as fast as they could to the spot where they had boarded the ship. The rope was still in place, The Hopeful Puffin would be waiting down below on the other side ... Fishlegs got to the edge first, and scrambled over. Hiccup was only a few steps away from him.... when a hand grabbed the back of his tunic, ripping out his pocket.
Hiccup's book, How to Speak Dragonese, fell onto the deck.
Hiccup stopped to reach down and pick it up ...
... and came face to face with the glitteringly triumphant eyes of the Thin Prefect through the iron visor of his helmet. Hiccup's heart turned to ice. The Prefect was holding on to the other end of the book.
"AHA!" spat the Thin Prefect.
They both pulled. "Let go!" hissed the Thin Prefect. "You can't win, you know. This is mine now ..." Hiccup could have let go but this was his book after 62 all and despite his terror, some deep, indignant rage made him hang on strongly until...
... something sharp and iron shot out from beneath the Thin Prefect's cloak and cut into the back of Hiccup's hand.
Hiccup screamed and jumped backward.
The book split in two, and before the Thin Prefect could pull himself together and catch hold of him again, Hiccup scrambled away and over the edge of the ship.
There wasn't even time to climb down the rope. Hiccup swung from it, and then let go, crashing onto the deck of The Hopeful Puffin some way below Fishlegs cut the rope that tied them to the ship, and their little boat was pulled away so swiftly by the current that she went into one of her spins.
"Where's Toothless?" asked Hiccup.
Toothless had been held up.
His foot was caught in the centurion's chin strap, and for a moment they were tied together -- and Toothless had quite a bumpy ride because the centurion was jumping up and down like an octopus 63 with chicken pox, as he tried to get rid of the Slither fang in his knickers.
Toothless finally snapped the chin strap with his hard little gums, and to Hiccup's relief, as The Hopeful Puffin twirled around for the fifth time -- looking for all the world as if she was dancing -- Toothless came screeching up to the edge of the ship toward them at the speed of a flying arrow.
"Oh, thank Thor!" Hiccup exclaimed joyfully.
But one minute Toothless was flying through the air like a stormy petrel in a hurry; the next a net weighted with stones appeared out of nowhere, wrapped itself round the little dragon in midair and brought him back down onto the deck of the Roman ship as if struck by a spear.
"TOOOOOOOOTHLESS!" cried Hiccup.
Two figures appeared over the edge of the ship. One was the Thin Prefect holding half of the How to Speak Dragonese book. The other was a Roman soldier. In one hand he held a trident. In the other he held a net. ..
... and within that net, struggling and biting ,and turning wild somersaults in his desperation to be 'free, was ...
64 .. . Toothless.
The Hopeful Puffin made another crazy turn and Hiccup gazed at his captured dragon in despair until the Roman ship was swallowed up by the fog and Hiccup could see him no more.
65 How to speak Dragoness by Hiccup horrendous Haddock III 66 Pishyon please Thankee thank you Munch-munch eat Crappa Caek-caek poo Dobbli wobbli bottom No like it I don't like it Me like it I do like it Gobba spit Botty-crackers farts Hoosus house Gaff nest Chuck-it-up to be sick Yum-yum on di bum to bite someone on the bottom Yum-yum on di tum to bite someone on the stomach Yum-yum on di thumb to bite someone on the finger 67 Bath time When a dragon has spent the whole day in a mud wallow and they then want to curl up in your bed you have no option. YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM A BATH. Good luck.
Dragon: Me na wash di bum. Me na wash di face. Me na wash di claws. Me na splashy oo di splashy ATALL.
I do not want a bath.
You are going to have to be cunning and use PSYCHOLOGY You: Na bathtime ever never ever never. Me repeeti. Na bathtime EVER NEVER. On no account are you to get in the bath.
Dragon (whining): Me wanti splishy splashy You: Okey dokey just wun time.
All right just this once.
Hoody drunken di bath juice?
Who has drunk up the bath water?
[Image: Hiccup.] 68 Miaowla cat Dim-woof dog Squcaky-snack mouse Pestistings nanodragons Randifloss rabbits Stinkfish haddock Prickle-burger deer Serumlush delicious Doubly yuck-yuck disgusting Bum-support chair Sleepy-Slah bed Munchy-holder table Warmadi-tootsies fire Do di girly boo-hoo to burst into tears Do di wobbly screamers to have a tantrum Do di chuckli ha-has to laugh Frieundlee friend Piss-people enemy Do di screemi berserkers to lose your temper 69 Dinner time Dragon: Issa yuck-yuck.
This is disgusting.
Dragon: Me na likeit di stink fish. Issa yuck-yuck.
Issa poo-poo. Issa doubly doubly yuck-yuck.
I don't like haddock. It's revolting. It's gross. It's really revolting.
You: Okey dokey so questa yow eaty?
All right then, so what will you eat?
Dragon: Me, eaty di miaowla...
I want to eat the cat...
You: (you can raise your voice now) NA EATY DI BUM-SUPPORT, NA EATY DI SLEEPY-SLAB PLUS DOUBLY DOUBLY ISA EATY DI MIAOWLA!
Don't eat the chair, don't eat the bed and definitely don't eat the cat!
70 Do di hissi fittings to kiss squeezes to hug Do di scarlet strokings to scratch 'es alright reely to love Da wingless Land prisoners Skyless dirt grubbers No brainers humans Flicka-flame to set fire to Snotting-gum boogers 71 Talking to BIG DraGons Dragon: ooohserumplush yum-yuminditum eatings di iekle prickle-burger!
"Ooh, delicious, a scrummy little deer!
You: Me look a di scrummy may me ow-in-di-tummy.
"I may look delicious but I'm actually very poisonous."
And if that doesn't work...
You: Me gambla yow na flicka-flame di gaff da di pestistings.
"I bet you can't set fire to that nanodragon nest."
Dragon: Easipeasilemonsqueezi "U can do that no problem."
72 [Image: I hate snotlout, gobber is a girly.] 73