Hyoudou Residence.
It wasn't too much longer than fifteen minutes before I arrived at Issei's house.
I walked to the door and knocked several times, then I waited.
It took only a minute before the door opened to reveal Issei's mother, smiling once she saw me.
"Ah! Good morning, Haruto-kun!"
I smiled as well. "Good morning, Ma!" I greeted. "Is Issei still here?"
Mrs. Hyoudou nodded. "Yes, he should still be asleep upstairs. I was about to go make sure he woke up for breakfast. You can wait in the living room if you want."
I grinned. "Leave it to me, Ma!" I gave a thumbs up to assure her.
Mrs. Hyoudou placed a hand on her cheek, smiling gratefully. "Oh no. I wouldn't want to trouble you like that."
"It's no trouble since I planned for me and Issei to walk to school together. I'll make sure he doesn't just go right back to sleep. Leave it to me, Ma!"
With no further argument, Mrs. Hyoudou stepped aside and I made my way inside of the house. It was a rather pleasant home, much more home-like than my house considering Mina-nee was usually gone all of the time. Actually, I guess you could kind of consider this place my second home since I sleep over often enough.
Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou are also pretty much my family in everything but blood. I've been friends with Issei since we were little kids. I hung around that pervert so often that I became something of a second son to Issei's parents who I call Ma and Pop.
It felt good to call someone that… considering the fact my parents died when I was little…
I didn't know the circumstances, but Mina-nee told me that they died in some sort of accident… I only remember the funeral… and crying a lot… that's how I spent most of my days until I met Issei and Iri…
I didn't have the heart to pry deeper into the matter… I never saw any point since my parents were still dead either way. There was no point in knowing the details.
But still, Ma, Pop, Mina-nee. Even Issei. They were my family, so I was happy.
I knocked on the door to Issei's room once I arrived upstairs. I banged my fist against the door.
"Yo! Oppai idiot! Time to get up!"
No response.
I knocked again. "Come on, Issei!"
Still no response.
I opened the door, walking inside to see my best guy friend fast asleep on his bed, drooling a little.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Issei, we're gonna be late for school! Get up!"
"... Hehe… so much… oppai…" He had such a stupid smile on his face, it was almost adorable. It would be such a shame to wake him up from whatever dream he's having.
I inhaled…Then—
"Issei! There's a whole track team of girls with no shirts or bras on outside! Their oppai are bouncing around like CRAZY!"
Hyoudou Issei, my best friend, shot up from his bed, awake and alert. His head darted left and right, as if searching for something.
"Oppai!? Where?!"
It took a few moments, but he seemed to finally become aware of his surroundings. He turned to me and glared.
"What the Hell, Haruto?!" He complained. "I was having the most awesome dream! Why'd you wake me up?!"
"Ma said it's time for breakfast."
But Issei didn't appear to hear me. He looked like he was on the verge of crying.
"Uwah! You ruin everything!"
I clicked my tongue. "Really now, I don't see why you're so obsessed with oppai. It's just a woman's chest."
Issei's jaw dropped as if I had said something heretical.
"'Just a woman's chest'?" He asked incredulously. "Oppai are LIFE! There are so many uses for them! They feed you when you are but a baby, they enhance the sex appeal of just about any woman, they are so soft and they can be substituted for pillows, and, from what I've learned from all of my erotic games, when you control a woman's breasts in sex, you—"
"Wait wait wait!" I interrupted, raising one hand to silence Issei. "How would you know ANY of those last few things? You've never even touched a girl's breast let alone had sex. You're no less a virgin than I am, as painful as it is to admit." I paused. "Besides, everyone knows that the ass is where it's at!" I grinned.
Issei did a dry spit-take.
"What did you just saaaay!?" Issei was steaming mad. "How could you possibly say that!?"
My grin became more of a smirk.
"Well, I figured it was fairly obvious. Everyone knows the ass is superior to the breasts. When man first walked on all-fours, the first thing he saw was the ass! Asses are the beginning of everything!"
"Bull!" Issei shouted. "T-To say that the ass is better than oppai is… it's just…WRONG!" Issei sounded like he was too disgusted to even speak right.
I stopped smirking, instead glaring at him. "Hey! Don't insult the ass, bro!"
"Shut up! You are an enemy to oppai everywhere! You can take your asses and just go die!"
My eye twitched. "First off, that doesn't entirely make sense. Second, YOU go die. The ass is best!"
"No!" Issei argued, shaking his head. "Oppai are!"
"No, the ass is!"
"Oppai!"
"Ass!"
"Oppai!"
"Ass!"
"Oppai!"
"Ass!"
Issei and I glared at one another.
"It appears we've reached an impasse in this discussion." I noted aloud, a deceptively calm voice in my face.
"Indeed." Issei replied.
"Pity."
"Yes."
The next two words we both spoke turned the situation into an all-out war-zone.
""DIE, HERETIC!""
***
"This is a very delicious breakfast, Ma." I said politely as I sat at the dining room table along with Issei (who was now up and dressed in his school uniform), Mr. Hyoudou, and Mrs. Hyoudou.
"Thank you, Haruto-kun." Mrs. Hyoudou said, thanking me for my compliment. I noted an awkward silence in the air.
"Er…" Mr. Hyoudou said, his awkward tone matching the atmosphere. "So…should I ask about all of the bruises?"
He was, of course, referring to the multiple bruises that covered mine and Issei's faces, the result of the all-out brawl that usually followed our usual disagreement regarding asses and oppai.
I smiled, waving it off. "We…We fell."
"Yeah…" Issei sighed. Suffice to say, he lost the fight. If I had been serious, I would've stomped him to the point of embarrassment. But no. We just joke around sometimes… with our fists when we get pissed enough.
"I see…" Mr. Hyoudou noted. Mrs. Hyoudou nodded as well. They've been used to this type of thing from us since me and Issei were little kids.
"So…what plans did you have for today, Haruto?" Issei asked me while we continued eating our breakfast.
I shrugged. "Same stuff, different day, I guess. It's almost a little boring actually. I might eat lunch with Ruruko at school later…I-I mean "Nimura-san." Y-Yeah. That's what I meant to say."
Issei frowned. "That washboard?"
Normally, Issei wouldn't really make an insulting remark regarding oppai be they big or small, but he and Ruruko never really got along. Not since she kicked him right in his…well…his "Little Issei's" for reasons that are still unknown to me…Ha. It's still funny when I think about it. Issei's voice remained high-pitched and squeaky for the entire day. It was hilarious actually!
"Hey! Stop remembering her kicking me in my man parts!" Issei cried, wincing as he remembered the pain experienced that day. He always seemed to know when I was remembering it. Maybe the amused smile I had on my face kind of gave it away.
Issei looked like he was literally about to start crying. "She…She's so horrible…that washboard."
SMACK!
Mrs. Hyoudou hit Issei on the head with a wooden spoon.
"Now, Issei, don't insult Haruto-kun's girlfriend right in front of him. It's awfully rude."
I did a spit-take. I felt my face turn a deep shade of red. "G-G-Girlfriend?! I-I never said she was my girlfriend! S-She's just a girl…and a friend…but she's not my girlfriend!"
Mrs. Hyoudou wore an amused, cat-like smile as she giggled. "Ah! Of course!"
Pop let out a few chuckles under his breath.
I groaned.
Ruruko is NOT my-girlfriend-per se.
I mean, considering what I was doing, she could TECHNICALLY be called my girlfriend…
She's my first.
No. Not my 'first' in regards to that. I mean 'first' as in… my first harem girl.
Yep. I said it. I'm trying to build a harem of cute girls and/or busty Onee-samas. Ruruko is among my first planned conquests…
I know it makes me sound like an awful person when I say it aloud, but it's not how you think!
I'm not planning on being one of those harem king-style protagonists from some H-games who typically mostly use their girls for ecchi things. I'm going for the TRUE harem route, as in, pursuing a true romantic relationship with multiple girls and doing ecchi things every now and then. I fully intend on ensuring the happiness of every girl who becomes a part of my harem. Yes, I'm a pervert, but I prefer to think of myself as a ROMANTIC pervert.
Of course I had to play all embarrassed at the thought of Ruruko being my GIRLFRIEND in front of Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou and because I doubt they would approve of my plans.
I managed to avoid the subject for the rest of the meal which returned to more casual conversation.
"You boys better hurry up or you'll be late."
Both Issei and I nodded, quickly eating our food. Issei would constantly talk about someday proving himself superior to me by getting his own girlfriend. One with gigantic jugs unlike Ruruko whom Issei considered a "washboard." I don't know…Issei's a HUUUUUUGE perv. Just about every girl at school hates him for various reasons that usually have to do with his perversion. The girl who picked him would probably have to be either an exhibitionist or have very low standards. That is to say, unless there was a girl who got to know the real Issei.
Despite how much of a pervert he is, Issei is actually a pretty good guy. We've been bros since childhood. He's actually one of the first two friends I ever made. When-she-moved away, Issei was the one who helped cheer me up. Sure it was through perverted stories regarding oppai and my respect for him dropped IMMENSELY, but he cheered me up nonetheless.
Issei always had my back and I always had his. That's the way we rolled. If I had any less self-respect, I would even call myself a member of his little group of perverts… but, while a pervert, I would never sink so low.
Anyway, Issei and I quickly finished breakfast and said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou before we walked out the door to head to school.
"Yo! Issei!"
"Wait up!"
On our way to school, I saw a familiar baldy and a familiar pervy glasses character running to catch up with me and Issei.
These guys respectively were Matsuda and Motohama.
Issei greeted his two friends who, with him, made up the three members of the Perverted Trio.
I halfheartedly greeted these two. I didn't hate them but I didn't exactly feel comfortable around them either. They were just too weird. I'm as perverted as the next guy (OK, maybe more-so), but the lengths these guys go to… I mean, getting beaten up by the kendo team in an effort to see girls naked is probably not worth it. If you wanna see a girl naked, look it up on the internet or something.
Matsuda and Motohama stared at me with narrowed eyes.
"What's that damned bishounen doing here?"
"Have you gone over to the dark side of those handsome bastards who are determined to leave no girls left for us, Hyoudou?!"
Issei sweatdropped, raising his hands to calm them. "Ah, come on, guys. I know he's a bastard, but he's still my childhood bro. Cut him some slack."
"Oh geez thanks. I've never felt so wanted, Issei." I said this with a smile of course. I'm aware that these three idiots don't like handsome guys like me because—
"Haruto-senpai! Senpaaaaai!"
Ah. Speaking of a reason.
I looked down just as a familiar, petite figure appeared out of nowhere and was clinging to my arm.
I smiled at my kouhai who wore her brown hair in twin ponytails. She stared at me with those admiring green eyes of hers.
"Good morning, Ruruko."
This was my cute kouhai, Nimura Ruruko.
Ruruko blushed slightly, showing a rather happy yet shy expression. "G-Good morning, S-Senpai."
"How's my most adorable kouhai doing today?" I asked while adopting a more approachable expression.
Ruruko's blush deepened, but she frowned. "Um. Good, but…"
I frowned as well. "'But'?"
Ruruko released me for a moment before crossing her arms, seeming unhappy about something.
"I tried calling your house several times last night, but you didn't pick up." She seemed rather miffed about this.
Of course I had gotten those calls, but I couldn't just give in too easily. If I show TOO MUCH of my romantic side to her, then I would lock her in as my girlfriend and the harem route would be lost to me. I have to be romantic towards her, but I also have to make her give chase as well…
OK! Mina-nee got pissed and threw the house phone out the window! There, I said it! We haven't had a house phone for a few weeks now!
… But what I was talking about before wasn't a lie either.
So I told Ruruko the truth as to why I COULDN'T, causing her to get an understanding expression. She sighed.
Yeah. She believed me because she had met Mina-nee once before…Poor girl. She had seen the ugly side of my sister that day. And then Mina-nee traumatized Ruruko later that night by cooking… Ruruko can't even stand the sight of ramen now because she keeps flashing back to that horrible night.
"Ah! That's good. For a moment, I was worried you were avoiding me." Ruruko once again clung to my arms, nuzzling her face against me.
I could feel the burning gazes of the Perverted Trio on my back.
"Damn bishounen…"
"Die, bastard…"
"..." Issei just stared blankly. "...I don't really care what he does with that washboard honestly."
Yep. He REALLY disliked Ruruko. Ruruko clearly returned the resentment due to the sharp glare she shot at Issei.
Ruruko's face turned a bright shade of red. "I-I'm not a washboard! I admit my breasts aren't large like Momo's, but I'm certainly not a washboard!"
I calmed the brown-haired girl by pulling my arm from between her arms and wrapped it around her and placed my hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, you should know by now that such a thing like breasts means nothing to me." I shot the three perverted idiots a sparkling thumbs up. "I'm an ass-man through and through!"
I took my hand away from Ruruko's shoulder and gave her butt a firm squeeze to prove my point, causing my beautiful harem girl to let out a squeak of surprise.
Surprised, Ruruko shoved me away, me chuckling, amused by her adorable reaction.
Ruruko stared at me with her face steaming red. She looked like she was trying to glare, but with all of her embarrassment, her expression ended up looking more confused and adorable.
"D-Don't do such things out of the blue like that!" She complained.
I grinned. "Sorry! I just wanted to show off your appeal to these guys. And it worked—" I pointed at Matsuda and Motohama who were on all-fours, crying. Even Issei had an angry and somewhat envious expression on his face.
Ruruko noted their expressions and seemed to be somewhat calmed and even amused.
She once again started clinging to my arm, blushing still. "Just… Just warn me next time you're going to do something like that…" Her previous annoyance changed into cute embarrassment and she even seemed slightly happy at my attraction to her.
"You suck, Namikaze!"
"Go die!"
Then a devious little idea worked its way to the core of my brain.
"You guys hate me, don't you?" I asked the two perverts with a smirk. "You're jealous because you can't get a girl?"
""HELL YEAH! YOU SUCK!"'
"Then how about I give you one more reason to be jealous of me…" Before Ruruko could react, I lifted her chin with my free hand and leaned forward.
She blushed deeply yet again at what I was clearly intending to do. "S-Senpai…"
I smiled. "Ruruko, I've already told you again and again…just call me Haruto…"
"... Haruto…" Ruruko parroted in a longing voice. She closed her eyes and leaned forward as well.
Our kiss was short and chaste, but I admit that the taste of Ruruko's lips left me with the feeling of wanting more.
Of course, being as careful as I was, I resisted temptation every time.
When I pulled away, Ruruko still had her eyes closed and an expression that clearly asked for more.
I smirked once more, turning to the Perverted Trio.
All three of them, including Issei, were on all-fours, crying and banging their fists against the ground.
"It's not fair…"
"Bishounen's suck…"
"... I hate you so much, Haruto…"
"Hahahaha." I gave a fake laugh at their suffering. One perk to being friends with perverted virgins is the amusement I get at being able to gloat about being able to do ecchi things right in front of them with a girl who was the first member of my harem.
After basking in the envy of my three friends(?), I realized the time.
"Come on, slackers! We gotta get to school before we're late."
"I-Idiot! T-The only reason we've paused for so long is b-because you're so perverted!" Ruruko complained.
Huh. I didn't think she'd complain about me kissing her. She's always usually so excited about my kisses.
"W-When we g-get to school, y-you owe me another k-kiss for almost making us late, y-you dummy!" Ruruko gave a slight smile at her demand.
… Oh…my…God. Her smile when she's being sneaky…SO CUUUUUUUUTE!
"I… I can't take this anymore…" Matsuda cried, rubbing his eyes.
"... I hate him so much…"
"Even though I don't care about that dumb washboard…" Issei said, crying less than his two perverted compatriots. "... Sometimes you really suck, Haruto…"
"Screw you, Hyoudou!" Ruruko said, defending me. "Haruto-senpai has a girl on his arm because, unlike you perverts, he knows how to treat a girl…at the very least, nobody's caught him peeping on the kendo team!"
And the argument went something like that for a long while after that…
Anyway, after that got settled with the Perverted Trio in tears, we set our course for school. Ruruko clung to my arm and glared at any girl we passed by who gave me a second glance.
Extreme jealousy. Good. Good. That's good to see…not because it's good for my harem plans, but because she looked SO ADORABLE when she was jealous! That's how Ruru-chan is!
We traveled for a good ten minutes and somehow still managed to arrive at school a fair time before we had to be in classes by. How? I had no idea. I mean, we wasted probably something like fifteen minutes discussing me having more romantic contact with a woman in one day than the Perverted Trio have had in their entire lives put together.
Issei and the other two perverts went on ahead to class, leaving me and Ruruko at the gate.
"We're still on for lunch on the rooftop, right?" Ruruko asked, slowly moving away as she got ready to head to class.
I smiled softly, nodding. "Of course—" I closed my eyes, sighing as I began to hear the muttering of people around me, a majority of them being girls.
"Is that the [White Knight]? The Prince of Kuoh?"
"Yes! It's Namikaze-sama!"
"Ah, he's so hot today…"
"He's with some girl!"
"His girlfriend?"
"Noooo! It can't be! Our White Knight CAN'T BE off the market!"
"... Now the only chance we have is to become adulterers… it'll be totally worth it."
The usual chatter. It was kind of annoying really.
I know someone who is observing may be thinking "Why? Aren't these girls potential harem girls?"
Well, like I stated previously, I'm going for a TRUE harem route. I plan on only building a harem with girls I have a romantic interest in and only if they return said interest. I don't really feel anything for these girls. I want a true harem, not some mindless sex zombies.
While I was deep in my thoughts, I took notice of Ruruko bowing to someone.
I turned with half-lidded eyes to see a familiar, bespectacled girl with her black hair cut in a short bob cut and violet eyes. She wore the usual female student uniform of Kuoh Academy.
Shitori Sona. My senpai and the president of the Student Council.
"Ah! G-Good morning, President!" Ruruko stuttered slightly.
"And good morning to you, Ruruko. Good morning to you as well, Namikaze-kun."
I didn't really care much for formality, so I gave a simple peace sign. "Yo. G'morning, Shitori-senpai." I bowed my head slightly, but that was it.
Shitori-senpai didn't seem to mind. She even smiled slightly.
She was kind of cute when she smiled. Shitori Sona, the smartest girl at Kuoh Academy and the third most popular girl at Kuoh Academy. She was kind of a good person. Some people tend to avoid her because she's kind of strict, but I didn't really care. I knew she was a good person deep down.
Shitori-senpai would've been a possible candidate for my harem, but she didn't seem like she would be the type to be okay with that goal. I didn't think she was that open-minded.
"I hope you've both been keeping up with your studies." Senpai said.
Ruruko nodded rapidly. "Y-Yes, President!" For that subject, I could swear Ruruko actually looked a little afraid of Senpai.
I nodded, smiling slightly. "Somewhat. I have fairly good grades at any rate."
Senpai nodded. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some duties to attend to. I suggest you both head to your classes."
""Yes!""
Shitori-senpai then walked off, leaving me smiling slightly. I couldn't help my eyes looking down her back at her—
PINCH
Ruruko suddenly lashed out and grabbed my cheek in a powerful pinching grip, yanking on it.
I looked at her and saw THE most adorable look on her face, her cheeks pink and puffed up in a way that the only way to make her mood more apparent would be by placing a light-up sign over her head that said "Jealous".
"Ow! Ow! Okay, Om sowwy!" I cried as Ruruko continued pinching my face.
After my apology, I finally got my cheek back, rubbing it to soothe the aching.
Ruruko was so cute!
"I-If you're gonna select candidates for your harem, either make sure it's not someone I know or at least don't ogle them right in front of me!"
What? I never said that Ruruko was unaware of her status as a member of my harem. I even told her of my plans the moment she asked to be my girlfriend. She WENT ALONG WITH IT! That's how awesome Ruruko is!
For the rank of alpha, Ruruko is the current holder out of all of my potential harem member candidates.
She got jealous because she wanted to preserve her possession of said position.
"Well, it's not like we're romantically interested in one another." I defended myself. "You know the rules I set and the conditions you gave me when you agreed not to castrate me and even help me in my plans."
Ruruko narrowed her eyes before nodding grudgingly. "Fine."
"Are we still on for our usual rooftop lunch?" I asked.
Ruruko's expression softened as she nodded, smiling. "Of course." She leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "See you there." She then ran off in order to keep from being late for class.
Possessing a similar wish, I took off, too.