Ding!
[Quest: Survive the Harem Drama. Failure to comply will result in 1000% more bugs. Good luck.]
I stared at the floating text like it had personally insulted my ancestors. "What the hell does that even mean?! What kind of 'harem drama' are we talking about Romantic misunderstandings Love triangles Forced engagements?!"
Haruto scratched his head still sitting half-buried in hay like an idiot. "I dunno Jin but it sounds bad."
And that's when my brain short-circuited.
Wait a goddamn second.
I turned to him slowly my entire existence vibrating with the realization. "Haruto."
"Uh yeah?"
I pointed a trembling finger at him. "How do you know my name?"
Haruto blinked. "Huh?"
I grabbed his shoulders shaking him like my life depended on it. "I NEVER TOLD YOU MY NAME DAMMIT! HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW IT?!"
Haruto's face twisted in confusion. "Oh. Uh…" He scratched his cheek. "Well when you grabbed me and we ran a name popped up over your head."
I let go of him. "...A name?"
"Yeah." He nodded. "A big glowing red one."
A really really bad feeling crept up my spine. "...What did it say?"
Haruto looked at me with genuine sympathy before answering. "It said... 'JIN MIYAMOTO - USELESS NPC.'"
I stared at him. My soul left my body.
"...WHAT."
Haruto flinched at the sheer amount of despair in my voice. "Uh I mean it's probably just a default title or something..." he tried, clearly trying not to laugh.
"DEFAULT TITLE?!" I grabbed my head pacing in the haystack like a lunatic. "This goddamn buggy piece of trash game world straight-up labeled me a useless NPC?! Not even 'Villager A' or 'Mysterious Outsider'—no, just 'Useless NPC'?!"
Haruto let out a small awkward chuckle. "W-well I mean... maybe you can change it later?"
I turned to the sky shaking my fist. "SCREW YOU SYSTEM! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY HUH?! FIRST YOU GIVE ME PENNIES FOR A QUEST NOW YOU'RE MOCKING ME TO MY FACE?! YOU'RE JUST A CODE, A BUNCH OF ONES AND ZEROS! WHY DO YOU HAVE A PERSONAL VENDETTA AGAINST ME?!"
Ding!
[Error. Complaining will not change your title. Please enjoy your stay.]
My eye twitched. "...Oh. Oh this is personal. You wanna fight me system? Square the hell up!"
Haruto sighed. "Jin maybe we should focus on surviving first."
I pointed at him dramatically. "Yeah yeah survive first rage later. But I swear to god Haruto this stupid game is out for blood. My blood. And my sanity."
Haruto frowned, tilting his head like a confused puppy. "Wait…what is game?"
I froze.
Oh no.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
I turned back to him, slowly, like I was trying not to trigger a landmine. "...What?"
Haruto's face was full of genuine confusion. "What game? You keep saying 'game world' and 'system' and 'bugs' but I don't—" He blinked. "Wait, Jin, are you okay? Did you hit your head?"
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
HE DOESN'T KNOW.
HE DOESN'T KNOW HE'S IN A DAMN GAME.
I almost laughed. Almost. But instead, I just sighed and rubbed my temples. "You've gotta be freaking kidding me…"
Haruto, still blissfully unaware of my suffering, just gave me this dumb hopeful look. "Anyway, Jin, I just wanted to say… thank you."
"Hah?" I narrowed my eyes. "For what? I didn't do anything."
Haruto smiled, looking off into the distance like some dramatic shoujo manga protagonist. "For being my first real friend."
I blinked. "...What."
"I mean it," he said, completely serious. "All my life, people only liked me for my looks… my status… my power. No one ever cared about the real me."
I squinted. "The 'real you'?"
He nodded dramatically. "Yes. But you—! You saved me, Jin. You helped me, not because I'm the Hero… not because I'm famous… but because—"
"—Because I was FORCED into it," I interrupted. "Let's not rewrite history here, Haruto. I had zero say in this."
But he wasn't listening.
"You saw me for who I am, Jin," Haruto continued, now looking like he was about to cry. "And for the first time… I felt free."
Oh, no.
Oh, hell no.
He's doing the BL protagonist pose.
I took a slow step back, raising my hands. "Alright, hold up, pause, timeout. What is this? Some kind of weird friendship confession? Let's not get crazy here."
Haruto wasn't listening. His cheeks were turning pink. "Jin… without even knowing, you saved me."
"Uh-huh. Yeah. Cool. Listen, I liked my floor better than this," I grumbled. "Honestly, I should've just stayed there."
But Haruto was too deep in his moment.
"From now on, Jin, let's stick together! You and me, best friends!" He beamed, eyes sparkling. "We'll fight through every challenge together, face every danger, survive every battle—!"
"No, no, no, see, that sounds like work," I interrupted. "And I don't do work."
He grabbed my hands. "Jin, I'm so happy—"
"I'm so NOT happy," I grumbled, trying to pry my hands away.
But Haruto just smiled, completely ignoring me. "Don't worry, Jin! I'll protect you from now on!"
I wanted to scream.
This damn game.
This damn Hero.
This damn system mocking me with 'USELESS NPC' tags.
If I ever found the developers of this hellhole, I was throwing hands.
I glared at Haruto, who was standing there all proud of himself like he was about to do something heroic. He had his dramatic pose locked in place, like he was the main character of some cheesy fantasy game.
"You really think you can handle this?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "With your 'superhero' abilities? Man, you look like a fanservice trap boy out of a shoujo manga, all cute and clueless—no offense, but you're about as useful in combat as a wet rag in a sword fight."
Haruto blinked, clearly confused. "Huh? What's a 'fanservice trap boy'? And what do you mean 'wet rag'?"
I facepalmed. "Oh, right. You're so far gone you don't even get that you're a walking cliché. Just admit it, Haruto. You're the 'pretty boy' sidekick who's supposed to look all charming while everyone else actually does the fighting." I threw my hands up. "You can't swing a sword, your 'Thunder Sage' powers don't even work properly, and you look like you belong in a romance game, not a battle! How the hell are you supposed to help anyone?"
Haruto, completely oblivious to the sarcasm, just smiled with that same determined, innocent look he always had. "But I'm your friend, Jin! I'm here to support you!"
I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, sure. Support me with that 'I-can't-do-anything-right' vibe you've got going on. You're basically a walking fanservice event. I bet the game devs just want the players to gush over you, meanwhile, I'm stuck actually dealing with the mess that's coming our way."
Haruto didn't get it. Of course he didn't. He kept looking at me all hopeful, still convinced he could be of any use to me at all.
"Look," I continued, turning away. "You're the main character, alright? But you're not the 'hero'—you're just the pretty face in a flashy fantasy world that no one actually takes seriously. You can look cute and spout out all the 'power of friendship' crap you want, but it doesn't change the fact that you're a walking liability."
Haruto's face fell, but he didn't give up. "I'll prove you wrong, Jin. I'll show you that I'm more than just my looks. I'm more than the pretty boy who gets dragged around."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Haruto, sure. Just... try not to get yourself killed while you're at it, okay?"
He nodded eagerly, totally ignoring the fact that I had zero faith in him. I mean, what was I supposed to say? "Sure, Haruto, go on ahead, try to be useful"—when the guy could barely hold a sword without tripping over it?
I was so done.
"Alright, alright," I muttered. "Let's see how long your 'hero's journey' lasts when you can't even swing your damn sword straight."
Haruto gave a thumbs up, as if he was going to save the world or something. I sighed. Yeah, this was totally going to be a disaster.
Haruto froze when the girls spotted us. His usual obliviousness kicked in as he stepped forward, flashing that hero smile. "Hold on, guys," he said, trying to stop them. "I know this must look—"
Ding!
[Congratulations! You have been promoted from Useless NPC to JIN MIYAMOTO - Thieving Cat. 25 Gold Awarded.]
I stared at the notification in absolute disbelief. "'Thieving Cat'?!" I yelled. "Are you serious right now? What kind of ridiculous title is that?!" I shook my fists at the sky. "I've gone from 'useless NPC' to a damn cat thief?!"
The title made it clear—I wasn't just 'useless' anymore. No, apparently, now I was some shameless guy trying to steal someone else's lover. That's what the damn "Thieving Cat" meant. And they were all treating me like the villain in a romance drama I never signed up for.
I was seething. This system had gone from bad to worse. It was literally mocking me now. Giving me a title like that, turning me into some kind of side character who was apparently eyeing other people's partners.
Haruto, still oblivious to my rage, grinned at the girls—who, frankly, I didn't care about at this point. "Alright, I know you all probably think I'm just a pretty face, but I—"
His speech glitched.
Instead of his usual "We're best friends, let's take on the world together," Haruto suddenly declared, "We're more than that, like lovers."
I blinked. "Wha—?"
The response was instant, like a chorus of disapproval. I didn't even need to look; I could feel the collective disappointment radiating from them.
They didn't waste any time. Without hesitation, they lunged at me. A brutal stomp hit my chest, knocking the wind out of me. Then another. And another.
"OOF!" My ribs screamed in pain as I collapsed onto the ground, eyes starting to blur.
"Idiot," one of them muttered, and another gave a short snort. Honestly, at this point, it felt like they were all just background noise.
I groaned, trying to push myself off the ground, but every movement just made my body scream louder. "Why the hell am I stuck in this world?" I mumbled, more to myself than anyone. "This damn game... buying it was the biggest mistake of my otaku life."
As I lay there, barely conscious, I could just hear Haruto's voice echo in the distance. "Jin, we're still best friends, right?"
And then everything went dark.