"You've got to be kidding me…"
Kaito stood in the vast emptiness of what could only be described as a cosmic void. Stars swirled above him, galaxies spiraled below, and in the center of it all, he stood there—completely naked.
"Couldn't they have given me clothes first?" Kaito muttered, using his hands to cover the essentials.
A soft ding echoed, followed by a floating blue hologram appearing in front of him.
[Welcome to the Reincarnation Department!]
Name: Kaito (Deceased)
Status: Newly Appointed Reincarnation God
Objective: Manage the reincarnation of heroes to the mortal realm.
Warning: DO NOT accidentally kill your heroes.
"…Huh?"
Before he could process any of that, a flash of light enveloped him, and suddenly, Kaito was no longer naked. He now wore flowing white robes—though they felt more like cheap cosplay than anything divine.
"Okay, okay… So, I'm dead and now a god?" he asked, scratching his head. "I didn't even finish watching that new anime season…"
Another ding.
[New Task Assigned!]
Three Chosen Heroes Await Reincarnation.
Mission: Safely reincarnate them into the fantasy world without killing them.
**Failure to comply will result in immediate demotion to 'Toilet Cleaning God'.
"Toilet Cleaning God?! That's even a job here?!"
Suddenly, three glowing orbs floated in front of him. As the light dimmed, three figures began to form.
First, there was a blonde knight with long flowing hair, her armor gleaming but suspiciously tight in certain areas. Her massive sword rested over her shoulder as she yawned.
"Sword Heroine: Alicia."
Next, a pink-haired mage appeared, her robes barely covering her curves. She spun a staff in her hand, which sparked ominously.
"Mage Heroine: Mira."
Finally, a petite healer with small angelic wings floated gently above the ground, her hands clasped shyly in front of her chest.
"Healer Heroine: Luna."
Kaito blinked. "I'm supposed to send them into a deadly fantasy world? They don't even look like they can survive a stiff breeze!"
Alicia yawned, stretching as her armor plates squeaked. The motion caused her chest plate to slip slightly, revealing a hint more than intended. "Oi, are you the so-called god? You don't look like much."
Kaito flinched, trying not to stare. "I—uh—yes! I'm Kaito. The Reincarnation God." He puffed out his chest, though the cheap robes didn't help his case.
Mira grinned, twirling her sparking staff dangerously close to his head. "So, you're the one in charge? You better not mess up our powers, or I'll turn you into a frog." A sudden magical burst shot from her staff, blasting a hole in the floor beneath Kaito.
He yelped, stumbling back. "Watch it! That almost hit me!"
Luna, the healer, floated closer, her large, innocent eyes looking up at him. "Umm… I'm sure you'll do great, Mister Kaito…" Her wings fluttered gently, causing her short skirt to ride up just a little—something Kaito desperately tried not to notice. She blushed, her fingers playing with a strand of hair.
[New Prompt: Choose Starting Abilities for the Heroes.]
"Alright, simple enough," Kaito said, rubbing his hands together. "Let's get you three powered up and into that world—safely."
He focused on Alicia first. "Sword Heroine… Let's give her enhanced strength and speed."
[Input Confirmed.]
Error Detected: Strength x1000, Speed x0.001.
Hero will be extremely strong but slower than a turtle. Confirm?
"No, no, no!" Kaito frantically hit the hologram. "How did I mess that up?!"
Alicia raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"
"Nothing! Everything's fine!" Kaito laughed nervously, moving on to Mira.
"Alright, Mage Heroine. Let's give you high mana and powerful spells—carefully this time."
[Input Confirmed.]
Warning: Mana Output xUnlimited.
Result: Mage may cause planet-wide destruction upon casting basic spells. Confirm?
"What the hell is wrong with this system?!" Kaito shouted.
Mira tilted her head, the spark at the tip of her staff growing larger. "You're making me nervous, god-boy."
Finally, Kaito looked at Luna. "Okay, Healer Heroine. Let's make sure you don't have any bugs. High healing ability and divine protection."
[Input Confirmed.]
Error: Healer's healing spells will now deal damage instead. Confirm?
Kaito paled. "Nope, nope, not confirming that. Fix it. FIX IT."
But before he could correct any of the mistakes, another ding echoed.
[Time Limit Reached. Heroes Reincarnating Now.]
"Wait—NO—!"
A bright light swallowed the three heroines, and they vanished.
Suddenly, the ground trembled beneath Kaito's feet. In the mortal realm, Mira had just sneezed, releasing an uncontrollable burst of magic that leveled an entire forest.
Kaito slumped to his knees, staring at the empty space. "I'm… so screwed."
Another hologram appeared.
[New Mission: Guide the Heroes from the Divine Realm.]
Objective: Ensure none of them die… because of your mistakes.
Hint: Good luck—you're going to need it.
Kaito sighed, looking at the endless void. "Why couldn't I just reincarnate as an OP hero myself? Or at least get hazard pay for this…"
Somewhere below, Alicia's sword accidentally split a mountain in half, Mira laughed maniacally as magic sparks danced around her, and Luna tried to heal a squirrel—only to accidentally make it explode.
"Yup," Kaito muttered. "I'm 100% going to get demoted to Toilet Cleaning God."