If I say there are no conditions to loving me,
Truly love me, then pursue it;
What else is there to ponder, what else to fear?
Quickly take my hand.
Someone once said,
The farthest distance in the world is not
Between life and death,
But
I stand right in front of you,
Yet you do not know I love you.
I often say,
If humanity is bound by its own restraints from loving someone,
Then the end of the world has arrived;
No need to wait until the day the Earth is destroyed.
If I say there are no conditions to loving me,
If we miss this chance, will it make you sad?
If invoking conditions as excuses is just a bit weak?
At seven in the morning, Liang Jingru's sweet and gentle voice filled my small apartment. I stood in the bathroom, swaying my not-so-slender waist to the music, spitting out the white foam from my mouth. I pinched the extra love handle on my waist, resolving to do hot yoga tonight!
Life is too comfortable, and my body is starting to protest!
Having just finished breakfast, my phone rang right on cue. I slipped on my shoes while pressing the answer button, smiling as I said, "I'll be down in one minute!"
Downstairs, a silver Q7 dominantly occupied two parking spaces. I dashed over and got into the car. The man beside me leaned over and kissed my cheek, his mouth curling into a faint smile, "Morning, baby!"
I turned my head shyly and replied, "Good morning!"
He was very handsome, dressed in a high-end silver-gray suit that complemented his noble presence. The light purple shirt showcased his unique taste, and the golden cufflinks glimmered brightly in the morning light.
Thirty-two-year-old Feng Suchuan is a successful man who values quality of life and has been my boyfriend for two months.
When we were one intersection away from the company, I got out of the car and jogged into the office building, clocking in, turning on my computer, and checking emails as the day's work began.
My name is Xia Tian, and I am the manager of the contract department at a publicly-listed engineering management company based in Europe and America. I oversee two subordinates, Cheng Cheng and Xiao Yang, both vibrant and energetic young women who recently graduated from university.
Every morning at nine, we hold a regular meeting in our spacious and bright office, which can accommodate over twenty people, including managers from various departments.
After the boss briefly summarized last week's work, the department managers began to take their turns speaking. I sat in the back, aimlessly doodling in my notebook, when a deep, captivating voice filled the room. I looked up and smiled at Feng Suchuan, who was addressing the group, and I noticed him noticeably slow his pace. As I continued to draw with my head down, I realized that I had sketched a pig's head. This caught the attention of Song Ying, the head of the design department, who burst into laughter, drawing more colleagues over to take a look. Quickly, I tucked my notebook away and caught the boss's warning gaze. I stuck out my tongue and smiled, noting the amused expression on someone beside him.
Feng Suchuan and I work in the same company, specifically in the same department. Unfortunately, he is also my direct supervisor, the manager of the contract department.
Our relationship, of course, must remain private since dating between employees is not permitted in foreign enterprises, as stated in "Du Lala's Promotion Diary." However, I don't share the same lofty career aspirations as Du. If our relationship were discovered, I would not hesitate to resign. When I expressed this concern to Feng Suchuan, he calmly replied, "No worries, I can support you!"
This highlights the difference between reality and fiction; in a novel, Wang Wei might leave the company for Lala, but the very masculine Feng Suchuan would never consider such a thing.
"Wen Xicheng," she replied, her brow furrowing in confusion.
My heart raced as I felt a wave of emotions wash over me. How could it be that someone with the same name as my past could now be entering my life in such a way?
I quickly collected myself, attempting to feign indifference. "Oh, I just... didn't expect it." I forced a laugh, but inside I was a turbulent sea of memories and unresolved feelings.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Song Ying squinted at me, a hint of concern visible in her eyes.
"Yeah, just a little surprised, that's all." I tried to divert the conversation. "So, what's this new manager about? Do you know anything else?"
She shrugged, twirling her spoon absentmindedly. "Not much. Just that he's coming to take over next week. Apparently, he graduated from some prestigious university abroad."
I nodded, my mind racing. I couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that this might not just be coincidence. What if this was the same Wen Xicheng I once knew?
As we continued our lunch, the usual banter felt hollow. No longer focused on the idle gossip, my thoughts were consumed by the possibilities—what if our paths crossed again? Would he remember me? Would I still feel anything? The thought both frightened and excited me.
"I need to head back," I finally said, standing up abruptly.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Song Ying asked, her voice laced with concern.
"Yes, just a bit of work to catch up on," I replied, forcing a smile.
As I walked away, I felt the weight of uncertainty hanging over me. The echoes of my past were stirring, threatening to resurface in ways I never expected.
"Our future manager, Wen Xicheng. What do you think? Do you know him?"
I took a few deep breaths, stood up, and replied, "I don't know him. How could I possibly know him?"
Having lost all composure, I fled in a panic.
Back at the office, I quickly searched through the personnel transfer email I had received that morning but hadn't yet opened.
To all departments:
Due to operational needs, the company has decided to appoint Wen Xicheng as the manager of the design department.
This appointment takes effect immediately.
This is to inform you!
A wave of emotions swept over me...
My heartbeat quickened, pounding like a drum wanting to escape from my chest.
Wen Xicheng is back, without notifying anyone—no, perhaps he has informed others, but three years ago I announced to everyone, "I don't want to hear any news about him from now on!"
I struggled to breathe, trying to regain my composure, but it felt utterly futile.
I desperately wished this was just a cruel joke from fate, that this Wen Xicheng was not the same man I once knew. But when the HR manager walked down the corridor with a handsome man who made all the female colleagues gasp, my fragile hopes were crushed.
Wen Xicheng, still the prince capable of captivating all women, had grown even slimmer, his tall figure more defined. His smooth, fair face wore that familiar gentle smile, now shaped by time, more refined and perfect; his deep black eyes shimmered with an alluring luster, and his thick, curled eyelashes quivered slightly.
His gaze swept over the crowd and settled directly on my face, revealing emotions so complex that it felt like a thousand unspoken words passed between us. I couldn't comprehend it, and after a brief moment of struggle, I lowered my eyelids.
As Wen Xicheng walked past me, he softly called out, "Xia Tian." His voice was low, barely audible to others. I kept my head down, offering no response, and the pencil in my hand nearly snapped.
He quickly shifted his gaze away.
After a brief introduction, he headed to Feng Suchuan's office. I took a few deep breaths and stood up to leave. Four years after our separation, seeing him again still left me breathless.
When I returned to the office, Wen Xicheng had already left, and Feng Suchuan had been called out by the boss. I sat in my chair, dazed, with only one thought in my mind: escape. After work, I didn't wait for Feng Suchuan and left the company alone. I bought a cup of milk tea and sat in the square, watching the crowd come and go, my mind blank.
I had never imagined I would forget Wen Xicheng, but I believed we would never meet again. When he got engaged to someone else, I sincerely prayed we would never cross paths again! My phone in my bag rang and fell silent after ringing back and forth dozens of times. The moonlight was enchanting, and I sank into deep memories, unable to extricate myself.
When I finally regained my senses, the square had grown desolate. I stood up, wrapping my weary body in the cool moonlight as I walked toward the roadside. When I reached the ground floor of my apartment building and prepared to pay the fare, the back door gently opened. I held my wallet, staring at that familiar yet strange face. All the past flooded over me like a tide, eventually settling into calmness. I stood there blankly as he paid for the ride, watched him help me out of the taxi, saw him close the car door, and watched him stand straight in front of me, gazing deeply into my eyes.
After a moment, he smiled and, just like countless times before, wrapped his arms around my neck, leaned down, and buried his face in the back of my neck, softly breathing out, "Xia Tian, I'm back." His warm breath brushed against my ear, his voice still as gentle and smooth as ever, but my heart felt ice-cold. I gently removed his arm and noticed a flash of pain in his eyes. Lowering my head, I softly replied, "Mm, long time no see."
"Wen Xicheng withdrew his hand and placed it in his pants pocket, his face still adorned with that gentle yet slightly cynical smile. He stepped forward, leaning his face close to mine, the corner of his mouth lifting in a soft arc as he blinked and asked, 'Did you miss me?'
I took a small step back. After two seconds of silent contemplation, I raised my head to meet his gaze and softly said, 'Wen Xicheng, I have a boyfriend now.'
Shock flooded the handsome man's face, his smile freezing in place. After a long moment, he turned his head and let out a soft sigh, scoffing, 'Who's so unlucky!' Yet his voice trembled noticeably.
The evening breeze wafted in, carrying a hint of earthy fragrance. The hair falling over his forehead remained as smooth as I remembered, but it couldn't stir any ripples in my heart. I focused on his taut jaw and, after a few minutes, sincerely extended my hand to him, saying, 'Wen Xicheng, welcome back!'
Wen Xicheng turned his head, a quiet sorrow flowing through his black eyes. He didn't extend his hand nor speak, choosing instead to lower his head and brush past me.
I turned around, my eyes following his retreating figure. He walked away step by step, gradually disappearing from my view. I looked up, allowing the tears to flow inward, smiling at the brilliant starry sky. Dear boy, we have long missed each other!
○○ II [First Meeting with Wen Xicheng] ...
Wen Xicheng was my classmate in college, a year younger than I. I first truly got to know him during our freshman Mid-Autumn Festival dinner. At that time, everyone had just recently arrived at school, and the class leader organized the event to foster friendship among classmates.
There were twenty-four people in our class: eight girls and sixteen boys. We went out for a buffet, with boys and girls interspersed at a long table, the atmosphere lively and joyful.
When I heard someone calling my name, I was about to stand up to get more food. I looked up, confused, and asked, 'What's up?'"
The group secretary smiled at me and asked, "Xia Tian, who do you think is more handsome, our class leader or Wen Xicheng?" I glanced at class leader Zhang Jun and scanned the boys in the room, puzzled. "Who is Wen Xicheng? Can he stand up so I can see?"
Amid a burst of laughter, the boy across from me stood up and awkwardly yet gently said, "It's me." I looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of his collarbone peeking out from his slightly open shirt. The graceful lines made me blush slightly. "The class leader isn't as handsome as him." His Adam's apple moved, and my heart skipped a beat in response.
My first impression of Wen Xicheng was that he had beautiful collarbones!
From that day on, his name echoed in my ears. We had six people in our dormitory, ranked by age, and I was third among us. The discussions during our dormitory meetings mostly revolved around him—how handsome he was, how stylish, how wealthy his family was, how gentle he was with girls, and how charming his smile was. I rarely participated in these conversations; I was never interested in such fantasies.
In the latter half of my freshman year, a classmate named Jia Ningtao began to ardently pursue me. He was everywhere: in the study rooms, outside classrooms, and downstairs in the dormitory. I had clearly and subtly rejected him countless times, and ultimately, I had no choice but to arrange a conversation to negotiate.
One sunny spring day, we sat on the lawn in front of the school library, with a pile of beer between us, chatting while we drank. In the end, we reached a consensus: he would give up the idea of having me as his girlfriend, and I would no longer avoid him. We shook hands, mended our relationship, and began to call each other "brother!"
It was my first time referring to a boy as "brother," and it felt wonderful!
As freshman year came to a close, Wen Xicheng had already established himself as a prominent figure at the school due to his exceptional basketball skills. He was the first freshman in history to become the captain of the department's basketball team.
However, I heard more about his romantic escapades, as the girls around him changed frequently. When the sixth person in our dormitory told me she was dating Wen Xicheng, my impression of him shifted to that of a playboy!
In my sophomore year, thanks to Jia Ningtao, I gradually became acquainted with He Zifei, Jiang Yang, and others, including Wen Xicheng. He Zifei had a close relationship with Wen Xicheng since they were in the same class, so I found myself drawing closer to them. I always kept my distance from Wen Xicheng, harboring an innate aversion to boys with chaotic personal lives. Each time we hung out, he would bring along a different girl, his arm wrapped around her waist, treating her with utmost care.
Meanwhile, I would typically tease He Zifei and Jiang Yang playfully, engaging in drinking games, and occasionally our eyes would meet Wen Xicheng's across the room. He would look at me with curiosity in his eyes, and I would shake my head and smile, causing his charming brows to furrow slightly before he would look away. Sometimes, while gazing at his long, curly eyelashes, I would momentarily lose my focus, feeling that in that instant, as he glanced down, he seemed a bit lonely.
During my sophomore year, I developed a crush on a boy from another major named Xiao Zhe, who was also known as a handsome guy. However, unlike Wen Xicheng's noble and gentle demeanor, he possessed a somewhat cool and aloof charm. I had actually heard his name the previous year when he broke the school record in the 5000-meter run during the spring sports meeting, receiving considerable attention.
Yet, I truly fell for him during the fall sports meeting of my sophomore year. That day, I was sitting in the stands, cheering for the athletes.
When he ran past our class, several girls from the adjacent room called out his name. He slightly tilted his head, the sweat on his forehead sparkling in the sunlight.
As he tilted his head back lightly, beads of sweat cascaded down his face. He glanced at the stands and broke into a smile.
How should I describe that smile? It was bright and cheerful, yet tinged with a touch of shyness and bashfulness. As his lips curled up, my heart began to race.
I suppose I could say it was love at first sight for me.
Having a crush is truly a painful experience. Every day in the cafeteria, I would carry a lunchbox and anxiously wander around the various counters, carefully searching for that familiar figure. Once I spotted him, I would quickly lower my head and retreat to a corner, only to instinctively start looking for him again. If he happened to glance over and our eyes met, I would immediately flush and dart out of the cafeteria.
Xiao Zhe loved to run around the playground at night, always surrounded by different girls. Occasionally, on nights without study sessions, I would sit in a dimly lit corner, watching him with a sense of longing. When he laughed with the girls around him, I would smile along, cherishing that moment. This feeling was actually quite wonderful.
In matters of the heart, I've always been timid. I think I'm the kind of person who would never confess my feelings to the boy I have a crush on.
I confided in He Zifei about my feelings for Xiao Zhe, but of course, He Zifei's big mouth spilled the beans to Wen Xicheng. During a dinner gathering, Wen Xicheng teasingly brought it up. Amid the surprise and laughter of everyone, I shot him a fierce glare, vowing never to speak to this uncouth boy again.
Eventually, he realized he had genuinely upset me and kept trying to win me over, but I completely ignored him.
When he approached me with a glass of wine, hoping to share a drink, I said, "If you want to drink with me, that's fine, but I'll have one glass while you have one bottle, and I won't stop until I choose to."
I figured he would definitely refuse, as it was clearly a losing proposition. In my eyes, he was just a handsome rogue with no depth.
He held the cup in his hand, quietly gazing at me for a moment before the corners of his mouth curved upward, revealing that signature captivating smile. He leaned down, exhaling warm breath next to my face, the fresh scent of mint mingling with the aroma of alcohol.
"Sure!"
I looked at him in surprise, while the others wore expressions of confusion mixed with excitement.
I drank with him—one glass for me, one bottle for him.
That day, I consumed eleven glasses, and he downed eleven bottles. When I finally called for a stop, he stepped outside to vomit and then went straight back to the dormitory.
After that incident, my opinion of Wen Xicheng shifted slightly. Although I found him quite annoying most of the time, at least he wasn't a coward; he was somewhat bold!
Gradually, my crush on Xiao Zhe became an open secret. I stopped eating at the usual cafeteria, and when I occasionally encountered Xiao Zhe, I would lower my head and hurriedly avoid him. I wasn't sure if he had already figured it out, but I could sense that the way he looked at me had changed.
Every time we crossed paths, he would pause slightly, then smile. That smile was a mix of teasing and warmth, carrying some meaning that I couldn't quite decipher at the time. Eventually, when Wen Xicheng looked at me with the same expression, I realized it was affection.
By the beginning of junior year, He Zifei and the others became obsessed with online gaming. Ninety percent of the boys in our major stayed up all night playing games during lectures...
Looking around, I saw people lying everywhere; it was quite the spectacle.
Wen Xicheng also played games but rarely stayed up all night. One evening after a gathering, while others headed to an internet café, I walked back to the school with him.
"Why don't you go play?" I asked.
"Staying up all night consumes too much energy; I wouldn't do anything that drains my life."
I looked at him and smiled. "I didn't expect you to care about health preservation."
He rubbed his brow and replied, "What health preservation? I've been suffering from nerve weakness lately and have serious insomnia. I can't even sleep normally, so I don't dare to stay up all night."
I was taken aback. "You have insomnia?"
"Yeah, it's been a problem for many years."
I paused for a moment and said, "Oh."
He turned his head, looked at me, frowned, and said nothing, appearing a bit unhappy.
I couldn't guess his thoughts, so I decided to remain silent. When we reached the dorm building, I bade him farewell and went upstairs. At the corner, I saw him standing there with his head down; the evening breeze gently lifted his dark hair, and his figure, wrapped in a white shirt, looked particularly thin.
The next day during the lecture, I stopped Wen Xicheng at the classroom door and handed him a small deep blue radio.
He looked at me in confusion. "What is this?"
"A radio. If you have insomnia again, listen to this. Generally, the program on FM 93.7 from six to ten in the evening is quite good—mostly music. After ten, you can listen to FM 120.8 for pop music, and from eleven to twelve-thirty, FM 97.8 has a talk segment that's very sharp and real. I really enjoy listening to it."
He stared at me in a daze, his eyes filled with complex emotions. He didn't speak, simply gazing at me until someone bumped into him, slowly bringing him back to reality. The corners of his mouth lifted in a comforting smile, with a faint touch of emotion in his eyes.
"Thank you," he said softly.
I waved my hand, smiled, and said nothing as I entered the classroom.
After that day, I noticed that Wen Xicheng was deliberately getting closer to me. During lectures, he no longer skipped class but arrived early to save a seat for me. The first time he waved at me, I was momentarily taken aback, then awkwardly walked over, asking in confusion, "What's gotten into you today?"
"Why are you sitting so far forward?" Wen Xicheng rested his arms on the table, tilted his head, looked at me gently, and smiled broadly, revealing two rows of neat, white teeth. He sidestepped my question and cheerfully declared, "Good morning!" I stared at his bright smile, swallowed nervously, and replied, "Good morning!"
A week later, this excessive enthusiasm faded into calm; without warning, he stopped smiling cheerfully at me, instead offering a faint smile as he passed by, no longer saving seats for me, and even skipping small classes. After pondering this change for a few days, I resolved not to dwell on it. Everyone has their reasons for their actions, and I didn't have much curiosity about Wen Xicheng.
He continued to change girlfriends, and half of the girls in our dorm had flirted with him. What I couldn't understand was that during our nightly discussions, they would talk casually about Wen Xicheng, sharing dating experiences and comparing the gifts he had given them. Their feelings for one another were something I couldn't comprehend or accept. To me, love is sacred; if I broke up with someone I loved, I would never have the courage to discuss it openly with everyone.
During the autumn sports meeting in our junior year, I didn't go to watch the 5000-meter run that Xiao Zhe was competing in because Wen Xicheng insisted I cheer for his pole vaulting. Truthfully, I didn't have the courage to watch even if I wasn't there to cheer for him.
When I arrived at the pole vaulting area with a few bottles of water, Wen Xicheng had already completed two rounds and was chatting and laughing with some girls. I pouted and sat on a nearby bleacher, my eyes unconsciously scanning the track for Xiao Zhe in the distance.
I guess I was so absorbed in watching that I didn't notice Wen Xicheng's arm resting on my shoulder until I felt his presence.
I paused for a moment, choosing not to speak, knowing that Hu Zifei and the others would probably react similarly. I considered them all friends and felt I should treat them equally.
Wen Xicheng snatched the water bottle from my hand and took a few big gulps, wiping his mouth afterward and saying coolly, "You came here to cheer for me, so what are you looking at?"
I pushed his hand away, glanced at the group of girls nearby, and replied, "There are so many people here to cheer for you; why did you make me come? I don't understand pole vaulting."
He shot me a glare, sat down beside me, brushed the dust off his shoes, and remarked, "The pole is right there; just jump over it. If the pole doesn't fall, you pass. You have three chances; what's so hard to understand? If you don't want to be here, just say so; I won't force you!"
I shot him a glare in return, said nothing, and stayed put, turning my attention to watch other classmates attempt the pole vault.
Wen Xicheng fell silent as well, holding the water bottle, his head down and seemingly lost in thought, not even noticing when I called his name.
I nudged his arm, "It's your turn; why are you zoning out?"
He looked up, momentarily startled, then his eyes widened in confusion. After a couple of seconds, he regained his composure, his expression blank as he stood up, threw the water bottle onto the ground, and walked away steadily.
He began his warm-up, taking a long pole, stepping back a distance, steadying himself, moving his arms, and soon launching into his run and jump.
He cleared the bar effortlessly, executing a backflip with fluidity and precision. As he reached the peak of his jump, his body formed a striking arc, his short black hair tousling in the breeze, with the sunlight illuminating his face perfectly.
For the first time, I noticed how fair his skin was; his entire face was taut, the curve of his jaw sharp and defined, exuding an aura of strength that contrasted sharply with his usual laid-back demeanor.
As he landed, the surrounding classmates and teachers erupted in applause. I felt a mix of relief and apprehension. After all, the previous phone call was still fresh in my mind, and I couldn't help but recall the girl's voice.
The next day, I saw the number again. This time, I hesitated for a moment before picking up the phone and answering it.
"Hello?" My voice trembled slightly.
"Is this Xia Tian?" I recognized the voice; it was soft and familiar, though I couldn't quite place it.
"Yes, this is I..."
"It's me, Shao Zhe." My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name.
"Oh, hi, Shao Zhe!" I managed to say, attempting to keep my tone casual.
"I got your number from... uh, it doesn't matter. I just wanted to see if you're free to meet up."
I was taken aback, feeling as if I might be dreaming. "Sure, I'd love to."
"Great! How about this Saturday?"
After confirming our plans, I hung up, flooded with excitement and disbelief. My heart raced, and I couldn't stop smiling.
It felt like the world opened up again; all the sadness and confusion faded away, at least for the moment.
As Saturday approached, I spent hours getting ready, replaying our conversation in my mind and trying to envision how it would go.
When the day finally arrived, I felt a mix of nervous excitement. I wore my favorite dress and styled my hair differently, hoping to impress him.
Finally, upon arriving at the meeting place, my heart raced once more. There he was, looking as handsome as ever, waiting for me with that familiar warm smile.
"Hi!" I waved, feeling a bit shy.
"Hey! You look great!" His compliment made me blush.
"Thanks! You too!" I was proud of myself for managing a smile despite the butterflies in my stomach.
We began walking in the nearby park, finding a quiet spot to sit and chat. He shared stories about his recent activities, and I felt myself relax. Talking to him felt effortless, just like it always had.
Time flew by; before I knew it, hours had passed, filled with laughter and little moments that made my heart feel light. As the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over everything, Shao Zhe turned to me. "I really enjoyed today. We should do this again."
"Absolutely!" I replied, hopeful about what this could mean for us. What began as a day shrouded in uncertainty transformed into the best day I had experienced in a long time. For the first time in what felt like forever, I believed that perhaps, just perhaps, love could bloom again.
Shao Zhe's number was deleted, but that string of digits was deeply engraved in my mind, and I knew it would take me a long time to forget it.
By early December, I encountered Shao Zhe again on campus, and a pretty girl was beside him. He affectionately rested his arm around her shoulder as he helped her put on a mask. I quickly turned onto another small path before he could see me.
The moment I saw him, I admit my heart still hurt, but I no longer held any hope. After walking a considerable distance, I turned back to look at them. The two figures seemed so harmonious; perhaps it was my imagination, but I felt as though Shao Zhe glanced in my direction. This time, I did not look away because I was far enough that I was sure he couldn't see me. He merely cast a glance before turning back to embrace the girl and continue walking. It was only after their silhouettes disappeared from my sight that I slowly turned to leave.
My vision gradually blurred, and I started to cry again. Clearly, nothing had even begun; nothing had happened.
Why did my heart feel so empty and painful?
That afternoon, I didn't attend self-study. Instead, I took a bus alone to the city center and strolled slowly along the busiest street. I was caught in the bustling crowd, occasionally bumped into by strangers. With the movement of my body, I felt like I wasn't so alone anymore.
Eventually, I walked into the KFC at the end of the street, ordered a combo meal, and sat down in the quietest corner. I opened my book and began working on my exercises.
When Wen Xicheng appeared in my line of sight, drenched in sweat, I felt slightly dizzy from the circuit diagram I had been studying. He leaned both hands on the table, panting heavily, staring at me as if he wanted to devour me.
I looked up at him, confused. "How did you end up here?"
He shot me a fierce glare, plopped down in the seat opposite me, and hoarsely said, "Go buy me a cup of cola; I'm dying of thirst."
I didn't respond. I closed my book and got up to buy a drink, ordering him a large cup of cola and getting a Nine-Treasure juice for myself.
He took a few sips of the drink before asking, "Why didn't you answer your phone?"
I was taken aback and pulled out my phone; there were twelve missed calls—some from him, some from He Zifei.
"I accidentally put it on silent and didn't hear it. Why were you looking for me?"
"Weren't you supposed to study this afternoon? Why did you come over here?"
"The environment is nice, there's music, and the air conditioning is comfortable."
Wen Xicheng gave me a disdainful look, then after a moment, he asked, "Did you see them?"
"Who?"
"Still pretending?!"
"I'm not! What exactly do you want to say?"
"You saw Xiao Zhe and his girlfriend, didn't you?"
I lowered my head, silently sipping my drink. After a few seconds, I saw him give a slight nod. "You all knew already, right?"
Wen Xicheng remained silent; his Adam's apple bobbed as he stayed quiet.
I smiled. "It's fine; knowing is knowing. I won't blame you; I understand now."
He looked up, his gaze deep and somber as he met my eyes, and said quietly, "I only found out last week. He hasn't been with this girl for long; at least it was after he called you. Don't be too sad."
I continued to smile. "I'm not sad. You see, I've read so much today; it hasn't affected me at all."
Wen Xicheng looked at me nonchalantly and finally reached out to tousle my hair, scoffing, "If I'd known you were so heartless, I wouldn't have searched the world for you."
I stared at him in confusion. "What did you come to find me for?"
His eyelashes fluttered as he averted his gaze and awkwardly replied, "Nothing; He Zifei said he was worried you might be overthinking things and insisted that I look for you."
I chuckled, "You're the one who can't think straight! Am I that fragile?"
He muttered, looking down, "Who would have thought your inner self is so strong? I felt like my legs were breaking from running."
I paused and asked, "By the way, how did you know I was here?"
Wen Xicheng, biting on his straw, vaguely said, "When you're in a bad mood, you like to come here. Didn't you used to prefer the overpass? Why did you choose KFC today?"
I laughed at him. "Am I supposed to freeze on the overpass in this cold weather? There are about ten KFCs on these streets; you really are lucky to find me right away."
He looked up with a slightly twisted expression. "What luck? I found you place by place!"
I looked at him in surprise, but he awkwardly turned to gaze out the window, his expression stubborn yet endearing.
I smiled and patted his shoulder. "I didn't expect you to care about me so much; I'm really touched."
My words eased the tension on his face a bit. "When are we leaving? I'm starving."
"Let's just eat here; I'll treat you."
He glanced around in disgust, clearly displeased. "I won't eat this junk food! I want an actual meal; I want soup!"
I smiled, biting my lip, packed up my book, and stood up, pulling on his arm.
"Okay, okay, let's go eat and get some soup. That's good enough, right? Such a pampered young master!"
He didn't respond but lowered his gaze to my fingers clutching his sleeve for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
I looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head gently. "Let's go."
We went to a nice restaurant. Wen Xicheng barely ate but kept urging me to eat more. In the end, a large portion remained, and I scolded him for being wasteful. He just smiled lazily, offering no reply, appearing somewhat listless.
After the meal, we took a taxi back to campus. He dropped me off at the dorm entrance and left, looking quite tired, with his back slightly hunched. I felt a twinge of guilt, thinking I should treat him better in the future.
Back in the dorm, I received a call from He Zifei. We chatted for a long time. He didn't really comfort me about Xiao Zhe, only saying, "Just forget about him; he's going abroad after graduation." After hearing this, I felt a sense of relief; since parting was inevitable, avoiding the situation from the start was the best choice. The next day, when I encountered He Zifei outside the small classroom, he put his arm around my shoulder and patted me like an older brother in a gesture of comfort. I smiled, having neatly tucked my sadness away in my heart.
Not seeing Wen Xicheng, I asked, "Where's Wen Xicheng? Isn't he coming to his beloved Xiao Qiao's class?" Xiao Qiao was our English teacher, only two or three years older than us, beautiful with a gentle voice. She was the dream girl of almost all the boys in class. Because Wen Xicheng spoke American English so fluently, Xiao Qiao liked him very much. Often, after class, the few remaining minutes would turn into their time for interaction, where Wen Xicheng would frequently say things that made everyone's hearts race, sparking excitement among all the boys!
After we found a seat in the back, He Zifei said, "He said he wasn't feeling well."
"Where did you guys go yesterday that made him come back with a fever?"
"We didn't go anywhere; we just sat at KFC for a while and then went out to eat."
"He mentioned something about an overpass; he must be confused."
I was taken aback, feeling a strange sensation inside me—vague and elusive, something I couldn't quite grasp.
After class, He Zifei invited me to a small restaurant outside the school. He poured me a glass of beer and raised a toast. "Congratulations on finally letting go of your unrequited love." I jokingly criticized him for being insensitive, but I dutifully drank a glass and said slowly, "Even though I still feel sad when I think of Xiao Zhe, I believe one day I will forget him." He replied, "Sadness isn't scary; what's scary is not daring to face it. The fact that you're able to calmly say his name today means everything will eventually pass." I smiled and nodded in agreement.
After the meal, on the way back to school, he said, "Xia Tian, I'm planning to pursue Yan Zi." I looked at him in surprise; his eyes sparkled with determination. "Isn't she dating someone?" I asked.
"They broke up just last week. I've arranged to see her tomorrow to confess." I nodded vigorously, "Good luck!"
He smiled, carefree. "I need your help with something."
"What is it?"
"The soccer team has practice this afternoon; help me pick out a gift for her."
"Isn't it more sincere to choose the gift yourself?"
"I believe your sincerity matches mine."
"..."
Back in the dorm, I thought for a moment and then called Wen Xicheng.
"Hello? Xia Tian." He sounded as if he had just woken up, his voice hoarse.
"I heard from Zifei that you have a fever. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. When are you going out?"
"What?"
"Zifei said for you to help him buy a gift. When are you planning to leave?"
"I'll go in a bit."
"I'll go with you; I'll be downstairs in ten minutes. Bye."
After he hung up, I stood there for a few seconds before starting to get ready.
When I went downstairs, I spotted Wen Xicheng in the distance, dressed in a thick white down jacket. A large black scarf nearly obscured half of his face. His hands were tucked into his pockets, and as he walked, he kicked at the curb. His soft black hair danced with his movements, glimmering in the afternoon sunlight. Although his outfit appeared somewhat bulky, it did not diminish his tall, 1.85-meter frame or his handsome features, which drew attention wherever he went. After all, he was Wen Xicheng, the prince in the hearts of nearly all the girls.
Perhaps growing a bit impatient, he looked up and, upon seeing me, instantly broke into a radiant smile. His beautiful black eyes sparkled with clarity and purity, resembling those of an angel, while his long lashes fluttered slightly, casting a delicate shadow underneath his gaze. I distinctly felt my heart skip a beat. Though I was reluctant to admit it, I had to acknowledge that Wen Xicheng was indeed the most handsome boy I had ever seen—at twenty-one, he could still be called a boy. In fact, I had always considered Wen Xicheng to be an eternally youthful child, one who always made my heart ache!
After leaving the school gate, Wen Xicheng naturally reached out his arm to hail a cab. I tugged at his sleeve and said, "Don't be so extravagant. It'll be fun to take the bus on such a nice day." He stared at my fingers for a few moments, then smiled and nodded, turning to grip my wrist and leading me toward the bus stop. A faint smile graced Wen Xicheng's face, and perhaps it was just my imagination, but I thought I could see a hint of pink on his ears. His fingers were pale and slender, and I could feel the strength of his grip. Although we usually joked around and had a good time together, being held like this made me feel somewhat uneasy. Just as I was hesitating whether to pull my hand away, Wen Xicheng had already released my wrist.
He stepped over to check the bus stop sign, and I absentmindedly touched the spot he had gripped before slipping my hand into my pocket.
It wasn't rush hour, nor was it the weekend, so there weren't many people around. We found two seats in the back row, with Wen Xicheng sitting by the window. As soon as he settled in, he turned his head to look outside. His profile was exquisitely beautiful—I found myself staring. A few low coughs jolted me back to reality, and I hurriedly looked away. He turned back, furrowed his brow, and bent forward with his hand over his mouth as he began to cough fitfully. A hint of worry surged within me, and I gently patted his back while asking, "Are you really coming down with something?"
Wen Xicheng waved his hand dismissively. Then, after a moment, he straightened up, a sheen of sweat appearing on his forehead. "I'm fine, it comes in waves. The air in the air-conditioned bus isn't great; once we get off, I'll be okay." "Flu is quite serious this season. I really shouldn't have dragged you out; let's swing by the campus clinic when we head back."
He looked at me, his gaze flickering. After a moment, he turned his face away, saying, "Summer… you're this nice to them too?"
"I don't understand. Who?"
"Zifei, Jiangyang, and the others."
I chuckled softly, "Of course; they're all good buddies."
"But you're the least nice to me," he said, still gazing out the window, a hint of loneliness on his face.
"Why do you say that?"
"When you were a freshman, you gave each of them a radio, but not me."
I was taken aback and bit my lip lightly, murmuring, "Weren't you busy with your girlfriend back then? I thought you didn't need it."
Wen Xicheng completely turned his face back to the window, presenting me with the back of his head wrapped in a scarf. I watched him for a moment and then quietly said, "I'm sorry."
He didn't say a word until we got off the bus.
As we walked, I thought he might take a taxi back, but suddenly he turned and smiled at me, free of sadness or loneliness. It was that bright, cheerful smile again, and then he draped his arm over my shoulder. "What gift are you planning to get Zifei's future girlfriend?"
There was no trace of discomfort between us, as if the earlier awkwardness had never occurred.
At that moment, I didn't think much of it; I merely felt relieved. But later, every time he quickly concealed his emotions and donned that smile, my heart ached.