Who was Clementine?

What happened that day, even though I have accepted it, it's still surreal to think about. It still feels strange, like a dream that I got stuck in, a dream that wasn't mine, a dream that chose me. But as crazy as it was, somehow, it did happen, and that's what I need to focus on.

At first it felt like I was flying, travelling, going towards something. I was just flowing, being pulled somewhere, and then I opened my eyes, and that was that.

The first thing that I saw were multiple eyes looking down at me. Doctors. They were all wearing masks and I didn't know who they were, but I could see the shock in their eyes, which was followed by a deep silence. Weird. But then a doctor whispered to the others "She's awake." Their shock had now turned into confusion, as if witnessing an unexpected surprise. The doctor then asked me if I could hear him. I wanted to say "yes" but I felt too weak to do it, so I nodded. Some of the doctors turned their head to the right and one of them exclaimed "She's awake!". The other doctors were still looking at me as if I was some sort of novelty in this world, which was a little unsettling. In a blink of an eye, a different stream of faces gathered up around me: 2 women, 1 man and a girl about my age. They too made me think that there was something wrong, but their eyes were different. Their shock quickly turned into some kind of relief, and one of the women started crying and just hugged me, just like that. Who was this woman? I didn't know, and in that moment I didn't care, because I've never felt something like this before. It felt heavy on my chest but I didn't want it to stop and I don't know how, but I could feel the love, the kind of love I've always longed for, the kind of love I would have envied in my past life. When she pulled away she said "I knew you were going to make it, my strong little girl. Welcome back my sweet, sweet Clementine."

..."Clementine? Is that... me? Oh... I get what's happening here. I'm dreaming!" 

With that realization, I started looking around my room. 

 "This isn't a hospital room, this is a hotel room! Or perhaps a house? A mansion?! What a weird dream to have."

Despite this clear distortion of reality I woke up in, everything felt real: the stiffness in my body, the doctors, that hug, but something was not right. After all, nothing and nobody in this room felt familiar to me. I needed a moment alone, so I cleared my throat and attempted to speak:

-Please leave.

"Wait, what the hell? English?! —I thought to myself— why did I say that in English? wait, why does my voice sound different? Something is wrong. Something is not okay. I need to get up."

I hadn't noticed until that moment, that the people in the room were speaking English as well. Panic started to set in after I fully grasped the fact that I am in a strange room, surrounded by Americans who most likely kidnapped me somehow to conduct some experiments or some other illegal American stuff. Now I understood why they were shocked, I wasn't supposed to wake up! But now I was awake and I HAD TO LEAVE! But as I was struggling to get up, which was surprisingly difficult, the doctors rushed to my bed.

-Miss Clementine, you can't get out of the bed just yet. While you were in a coma, you received physiotherapy, which did give you an advantage. However it's important not to move too abruptly right now. A year without active movement, even with the help of professionals, is just not enough for someone in your position. It will take some time but in order to regain the ability to walk freely again, physical therapy is absolutely needed.

"Did he just say coma? And why does he keep saying Clementine?" Thinking to myself wasn't enough, I needed to talk to them, maybe they will at least set me free.

-Sir, please. Let me leave. I won't tell anybody about this, I don't even know why I'm here, I just woke up and I don't know anything! You can blindfold me and guide me out of this place and I promise you, nobody will hear anything from me!

There it was, that silence again. That confusion again. I could barely move so there was nothing I could do. I felt defeated and felt like crying, when the man I saw earlier came to me and held my face in his hands. His eyes were teary, but he was trying to keep it in, as if letting those tears fall would've destroyed the front he was trying so hard to put on. I hadn't noticed that before, but I could see it now. He may be fooling them, but he's not fooling me, but for the first time since I woke up, I could see something familiar. Deep, dark circles under his eyes, and not the ones you get after 1 bad night, it was clear to me that it has been a while since this man had any sleep at all. He was wearing expensive clean clothes, but he did not look like someone wealthy. He looked skinny, his face felt almost erased, but not from hunger, no, this man looked like he had given up on life and for the first time after a long while, there was hope in his eyes. 

-Why are you so sad? I asked instinctively.

And that's what did it. He couldn't keep it in anymore. He started crying. No, he was bawling. For the first time since whatever happened to him happened, he finally let it all out. His hands were still on my face and I still didn't know this man, but I didn't like seeing him like that, it hurt me, on a personal level. And so I put my hand on his and said "It's okay.", which made him cry even more, which frankly I didn't know it was possible. He hugged me and kept saying "I missed you so much."

I don't know why but that made me cry too. That's when I looked up and saw that the 2 women and the girl were crying too. That's when I snapped out of it and started screaming for that man to get away from me. What the hell just happened? Who are these people? It was so weird! But now I was afraid. I may have been in full panic mode by that point, so I maybe had one last chance and told them:

-Get. Out. Please.

They finally, all together, left the room. I could hear the doctors talking behind the door, but I couldn't focus on that at that moment. I needed to figure out what was happening. So I started to look around, but to no avail. I already knew that this place was unfamiliar. I've never even seen a room like this, let alone be in one! I couldn't do anything so I had no choice but to just give up. I couldn't move and I was surrounded by very odd people, in a place I didn't belong. I was laying in my bed, looking at the ceiling, when...

-*gasp*..I remember now. I tried to kill myself.

"Well I suppose it is what it is.", is what I said to myself, which it didn't click then, but that's quite an odd thing to say when you're woken up by a failed attempt. But then I saw my hands, nails painted a quince yellow with little white daisies. "What?" I never could afford to have my nails done and yellow is too happy a color for someone with my life. But hold on, the doctors said that I've been in a coma, so maybe someone found me and brought me here? But why America? And why on earth, or rather who, would take care of me in a year long coma, to such an extent? Something isn't adding up. But then... I looked lower, at my wrists, and there were no scars. I checked the other hand - untouched. I have never in my life been as confused as that day. I was puzzled and could not for the life of me figure out what was happening, until I turned my head, and on the nightstand, there was a small mirror. I suppose I had nothing else to do so I just grabbed it. 

I... don't think there is a word for what I was experiencing, because in that mirror, starring back at me, it wasn't the "me" I knew. It was someone else. Someone new. Someone perfect. And finally everything made sense, because in that mirror, without a doubt, who I was seeing, was Clementine.