I had a good sleep last night after the celebration. And now, it's the first morning of 2021. Why does it feel different? Something new? First thing in the morning, of course, I need some fresh air.
"Good morning!" I greeted my grandmother as she swept the dried leaves off the street.
"Good morning, Kean! Have you eaten breakfast? There's some leftovers in the fridge," she said.
"Alright then. Though I think Mom's already cooking something—I can smell it," I replied.
It feels nice waking up here in our neighborhood. I remember being a kid, waking up at 4 AM, hearing my grandmother washing the dishes and my late grandfather getting ready for farming. Those memories feel so nostalgic.
As I walked past my uncle's house, I wasn't surprised to see my cousin Jerald still fast asleep—he always stays up late. Meanwhile, my mom was busy preparing breakfast.
"Hey, Mommy. I'll be heading back tomorrow morning," I said.
"Alright, I'll miss you, Kean. Always take care and focus on your studies, okay?" she reminded me.
"I'll miss you all, Mommy. I wish I was living here instead," I admitted.
"Aww, don't worry. I wish I could provide for all your needs, but Mommy isn't capable of that... I'm so sorry, Kean. But I promise I'll always do my best to support you," she said, her voice filled with emotion.
"Don't worry, Mom. One day, I'll give you a life you never had. I promise," I reassured her.
She smiled. "You're so sweet. I just wish your sister was still here to see you succeed."
I hugged her tightly, feeling the weight of everything she had gone through. Losing my sister wasn't just my pain—it was hers too. And no matter what, I'd always worry about her.
We sat down and ate breakfast together, cherishing the moment.
After finishing our meal, I told my mom I'd wash the dishes so she could rest. As I stood by the sink, scrubbing each plate, my mind wandered to her.
Is she really okay? It's been two years since my sister passed, but I know that pain never truly fades. She has my stepfather now, and despite their financial struggles, they seem happy. Still, deep down, I know Mommy mourns every single day.
I just want her to know—she's not alone. I'm still here. Her only remaining one. And no matter what, she can always rely on me.
"Hey, Mom, see you later. I'm heading out. Love you," I said, grabbing my things.
"Be careful always, Kean. Love you!" she replied.
I grabbed a chair and sat outside, taking in the fresh air. Just as I was about to relax, I noticed Mark standing by their gate, his phone raised.
"Hey, I see you, you know," I said, squinting at him.
"Morning, man. Look at you today," Mark replied, grinning as he showed me a picture he had just taken.
"Man, that's the face of someone deep in thought," I said, shaking my head.
"You look like you were drunk last night," he teased.
"Alright, what's up? Got any plans for today?" I asked.
"Yeah, come with me later to the barbershop. And man, fix your hairstyle too—I'll even pay for it," Mark said.
"No thanks, man. Haha. My aunt always decides my hairstyles, but I like it this way," I chuckled.
"Alright, then. Where's Shan? Message him and tell him to come down," Mark said.
"Man, he's still knocked out. I miss our sleepovers, though. You know how Shan is—always waking up late," I said.
"True. You wanna sleep over in my room tonight instead?" Mark offered.
"Maybe next time, man. Gotta pack my things tonight," I said.
"You're heading home tomorrow already? Man, that sucks. Hope you come back soon," Mark said with a sigh.
"I will, man. I always wish I lived here too," I said, feeling a pang of nostalgia.
Back when I was going through heartbreak, no one really knew what had happened between me and my ex-girlfriend except Shan. But I told him to keep it a secret. Even now, there's still a small part of me that breaks a little inside. I don't know how my friends would react if I told them the whole story.
Eunice had become close with my friends too—we had all shared so many memories together. She wasn't just part of my life; she had been part of our entire circle. And then, out of nowhere, Mark asked a question.
"Hey man, how are you and Eunice?" he asked casually.
"Oh... uh, yeah... we're fine. Yeah," I said, stuttering slightly.
Mark raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. Instead, he smirked and changed the topic. "Well, I have a new chatmate... but that's still a secret for now." He showed me his phone, where the girl's picture was set as his wallpaper.
"Well, good luck with that," I said with a small grin. "I know you well, my younger friend. So... is this the sixth one? The fifth one didn't work out?"
Mark let out a small chuckle. "You know me... I was always meant to be left in the end," he said, half-joking, half-serious.
I patted his back. "Well, as long as Shan, the hood, and I are around, we'll be here no matter what heartbreaks or challenges come our way. That's a promise."
Mark nodded, a soft smile forming on his face. "I know you all got me, man. Thanks. We've been friends for four years—I know this won't end."
After hanging out with Mark for a few hours, he went home for lunch. Before leaving, he told me to meet up with him later in the afternoon—we'd be going to the barbershop, and probably the plaza too.
I was heading home to eat as well when I spotted Shan at their gate—shirtless, looking like he had just rolled out of bed. It was always hilarious seeing him like that.
"Eyy, what's up?" Shan greeted, rubbing his eyes.
"Nothing much, dude. I was with Mark, but he went home. He'll be back later," I said.
"Ohh, okay, okay. Let's jam out tonight," Shan said.
"Sure, dude. Gotta make the most of it—I'm heading home tomorrow. Guess I won't see you guys again for a few months," I said.
"Yeah… hey, do you have food at home? You always say your cousin finishes lunch before you even get a bite. Why don't you just eat here?" Shan offered.
"Thanks, man. You sure?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah, come on. And later, we'll hang out at the plaza with Mark."
This was just how we were—always looking out for each other. Shan knew how tough things could get for me sometimes when I was at my mom's. It's friends like him that make life a little easier.
---
After taking a nap for a few hours, I woke up to a message from Mark, telling me to come outside. I figured he was finally heading to the barbershop.
When I stepped out, I was surprised to see the whole crew there—Mark, Keem, Charles, Riel, and Zander.
"I called them out so they could see you one last time before you vanish tomorrow," Mark said with a smirk.
"I'm telling you, Kean, if you don't come back soon, I'll sneak into your house and drag you back here," Keem joked.
"Looks like I most likely won't see you then," I teased.
"That's the point, that's the point," Keem laughed.
"Oh hey, I thought you were getting a haircut," I said, turning to Mark.
"Relax, man. I'm just waiting for Shan—he's getting one too. Oh, there he is! Hey, Shan!" Mark called out as Shan approached.
"Alright, let's go," Shan said.
We all walked together to the barbershop. While Shan and Mark were getting their haircuts, the rest of us sat inside, chatting. Then, after a brief silence, I finally decided to bring up something I had been keeping to myself.
"Hey, guys… I guess I'm ready to say this now—Eunice broke up with me."
Shan stayed silent, pretending he didn't know anything.
"What?!" Mark blurted out in disbelief.
"Damn, dude. How long has it been?" Keem asked.
"It's been a week and counting," I admitted.
"Bro, I can't believe it. You two were together for three years, and she's been part of our group since then," Zander said, shaking his head.
"Yeah… Her reason was valid, though. She wanted to focus more on herself. At least it wasn't because of a third party. But it still hurts," I said.
"So that's why you were stuttering earlier," Mark realized. "That's okay, man. You got us."
"Just go find a dude and love him truly," Riel joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Haha, yeah. And that's why I've been so quiet lately," I said.
"Don't worry, man. I got ya," Shan finally spoke, giving me a reassuring nod.
I couldn't help but vent a little, but I didn't want to dwell on it too much. So I changed the subject, and we carried on. We headed to the plaza, just hanging out and enjoying the moment before the sun set. Being with them made me feel less alone. No matter what happened, I knew I had them to turn to.
Sadly, tomorrow I'd be heading home.
As the sky turned orange, Shan stretched and grinned. "The sun's setting. Let's go jam out at the hood."
We headed home as the sun set, but the night was far from over. Grabbing our instruments and speakers, we set up outside and started playing the songs we always jam to.
I strummed my guitar while Shan was glued to his phone, seemingly deep in conversation. The others were just sitting around, maybe listening, but mostly on their phones too. Then, out of nowhere, Shan spoke up.
"Kean, my friend's asking for your username," he said.
I frowned, confused. "Wha—who?"
"I told her you have a little crush on her," Shan said with a mischievous grin.
"WHAT?! Dude, I'm just trying to live in peace here!" I protested.
"Haha! Don't even try to deny it. I know you want a chatmate," Shan teased.
"Looks like Kean's lucky tonight, huh?" Keem chimed in.
"Good luck with that, man. I'll head home for dinner and be back later," Mark said as he got up.
I sighed, giving in. "Alright, fine. What's her name?"
"Her username is xian_kaye. Follow her," Shan said.
"Lityear, right? I think I downloaded it last night," I muttered.
Shan smirked. "Look at you—you downloaded it, and now you're pretending you don't care. Haha."
"Give me a break, man. It's not that I'm interested," I said, shaking my head.
"Whatever. Just follow her back," he said.
I pulled out my phone, opened the Lityear app, and there it was—a stunning profile notification. I hesitated for a moment before finally hitting "Follow Back."
"You do the first move," Shan said, nudging me.
"What? Damn, why is this all happening?" I groaned.
"Just do it," Shan insisted.
I sighed. "Alright then… here goes nothing."
I opened the chat and typed:
Kean: I'm Shan.
A reply came almost instantly.
Kaye: Oh? Really?
Kean: Yeah :>
Kaye: Alright. My name is Kaye. Hello, Kean ^^
Kean: I swear— if Shan said something about me having a crush on you, I apologize. He's just kidding ;-;
Kaye: Haha. You're cute. Don't worry, I know he's kiddin'~
Kaye: Anyway, you were the one who showed up in Shan's camera, right?
Kean: Uhh… yep. Why?
Kaye: Oh, nothing ^^ You looked— kinda cute though.
I stared at the screen for a second, processing her words. Before I could react, Charles spoke up.
"Looks like somebody's getting busy over here, huh?" he teased.
"Leave him alone, haha," Shan chuckled.
"Hey, can I borrow your guitar, Kean? Oh, never mind, I'll take it myself."
I shook my head. "Hey, Shan, when did you even meet this person?"
"Last October. I was bored, found that app, and figured I'd find someone to talk to," Shan said casually.
"Yeah, but you said you don't talk that much. How do you guys even get along?" I asked.
Shan shrugged. "Maybe you two will get along too." Then he stood up. "Anyway, let's eat."
"Alright, I'll just tell her first," I said, glancing back at my phone.
It was getting late. One by one, my friends started heading home, and it felt like the party was ending all over again. I wanted to hold onto these last moments, to stay just a little longer. They had healed me tonight, made me laugh, and reminded me that sadness is just a feeling trapped inside—one that fades when you're surrounded by the right people.
"Hey man, see you next time," Mark said, giving me a fist bump.
"We're always here, dude. Enjoy chatting with her tonight. Feels like this is your first New Year with us," Shan teased.
"See you when I sneak in, Kean," Hakeem smirked.
"Hey, work out sometimes. You're getting thin," Charles added.
"He's right. Take care, brother," Zander said.
"I'm heading home now," Riel called out, waving.
"See y'all, my greatest brothers," I said, giving each of them a playful smack as I turned to leave.
The night was over. It was time to go home. Tomorrow, I'd be heading back to my dad's place.
As I lay down on the couch, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my conversation with Kaye. Her last message read, Eat well. I smiled, feeling sleep creep in. Just as I was about to doze off, my phone slipped from my hands and crashed into my face—accidentally hitting the like button.
Kaye saw the like.
Kaye: Oh, hey.
Kean: Uhhh ;-; Hey, what's up? Cozy night, right?
Kaye: Did you really just reply with a like? XD
Kean: Haha, I was about to reply, but my phone slipped and crashed into my face.
Kaye: That's funny. So, how's your vacation so far?
Kean: Looks like Shan told you everything, huh? :>>
Kaye: Not really, he just mentioned you're on vacation and heading home tomorrow.
Kean: Yeah, that's true. Lonely days coming…
Kaye: Aww, you'll be fine.
Kean: Well, how was your New Year?
Kaye: It was okay. Just watched fireworks with my grandmother and aunt. I wish my mom was still here, though.
Kean: Oh… may I ask why?
Kaye: She works abroad. She's a nurse. She was still here when we celebrated Christmas.
Kean: Oh, I see. Hey, where are you from?
Kaye: I'm from The Summer Capital of the Philippines.
Kean: Baguio City. I miss that place. Went there two years ago for a staycation.
Kaye: Oh? May I ask where?
Kean: The BCC Hotel.
Kaye: Damn, you guys must be rich. That's an exclusive hotel.
Kean: Haha, not really. We just have relatives there too. I miss my cousins.
Kaye: Ohh, cool! So do you guys visit often?
Kean: We used to, every year. But since the outbreak, it feels like I won't be going back anytime soon.
Kaye: Aww, you'll see. I think the protocols have been downgraded now.
Kean: Yeah, hopefully. Anyway, nice meeting you, Kaye! I'm kinda sleepy, so… talk tomorrow?
Kaye: Sure thing :>> I mean, Shan is always inactive, so I'd be happy to get to know you. Goodnight, Kean!
Kean: Haha, okay. Goodnight, Kaye.
As I put my phone down, a strange thought hit me. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be interesting?
Wait… am I really moved on?
Maybe I am. But I don't want to expect too much. I just met her today. I'll just go with the flow and not overthink what happens next.
For now, I'll just close my eyes, rest, and look forward to another tomorrow—another chapter of my story.