One day, everything changed for him. The little things he used to enjoy, like his daily routines and comforts, suddenly felt uncertain. He woke up with tears on his cheeks from restless dreams about past love. He used to close his eyes, but the girl he loved kept running in his mind in the sleep. After wiping them away, he took a long, soothing shower, hoping the steam and water would wash away his sadness. He dressed in a crisp shirt and jeans, putting on a brave face even though his heart felt heavy.
The day at work dragged on, the buzzing lights overhead and the chatter of colleagues blending into a background hum. By the time he got home at 8:30 p.m., the city lights sparkled like distant stars, but they felt a bit lonely. After splashing cold water on his face and taking a deep breath, he picked up his phone. His heart sank as he scrolled through his contacts, searching for someone who might understand what he was going through. But each name brought back memories, reminding him of his loneliness.
A little voice in his mind nudged him to look at his photos, to confront the memories he'd tucked away. What had caused his heartache? How could he begin to heal? He wondered if his neighbour, a kind young woman with bright eyes and a shy smile, might feel something more for him. But would he let her in, or keep her at arm's length because of his past?
"He denied it," the voice observed softly.
The voice urged him gently, "Why not take a look?"
He hesitated, his heart racing. "No! I don't want to relive everything," he said, feeling frustrated and sad in the quiet of his apartment.
"Admit it-you feel alone. Who will listen to what you're feeling?" the voice gently countered.
"I really want to move on," he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.
"You've said that before," the voice reminded him. "And here you are, feeling lost again."
Feeling a bit defeated, he stood on the edge of looking at his photos, emotions swirling inside him. Suddenly, his phone rang. A spark of hope ignited within him-maybe someone was reaching out to pull him from his sadness.
"See! Someone cares! I'm not invisible!" he said, grasping the phone like a lifeline. It was his neighbour, and he could hear the warmth in her voice.
"Hello," he said, managing a shy smile.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked, her friendly tone lifting his spirits.
"Not just got home from work," he replied, feeling a bit lighter for a moment.
"Want to grab a coffee with me?" she suggested her invitation to be genuine and sweet.
He felt a tiny pang of disappointment; the thought of connecting felt a little overwhelming. "I'm really sorry, but I'm pretty tired today," he said, wishing he could take it back.
"You mentioned being tired before," she gently reminded him, the disappointment creeping into her voice.
A silence settled between them. "I've got to take a work call; I'll chat with you later," he said, ending a conversation that could have brightened his evening. Guilt washed over him as he hung up, feeling the distance grow between them.
The little voice returned, nudging him. "You did it again."
"What did I do?" he asked, his voice tinged with desperation.
"You're pulling away from those who care," it whispered.
"I'm not pulling away!" he insisted, though deep down, he sensed the truth was waiting to be acknowledged.
"Then why the excuse? Why shield yourself when she just wants to support you?"
"I talk to people every day, but none make me feel like she does," he said, fond memories of laughter and warmth flooding back, stirring his heart.
"How much longer until you genuinely find peace?" the voice probed, reminding him of his reality.
"I thought I moved on!" he insisted, but the conviction in his words felt shaky.
"Then why does she linger in your happy moments? Why do you think of her when you feel lonely? Why do you wish for her presence in the quiet moments?" the voice asked gently.
.
"I don't know the answers," he admitted, tears threatening to spill.
"Just ponder how long until you find your peace?" the voice encouraged.
"I truly don't know," he confessed, his voice breaking a little. "But I care for her. I always will. I'm not sure if I'll move forward or remain lost in her memory, but I do know one thing: I'll always hold her close to my heart."
"I will carry her with me to my grave," he said, tears in his eyes.
He lost to himself today again. He entered the gallery, gazed at her pictures, and shared details about his day.