—["(Covers mouth, tearing up) Suddenly, I feel bad for No. 32… My food doesn't even taste good anymore."]
—["(Laughing and crying) This script is pure genius. I can't breathe!"]
—["(Hides face) No. 32's photographer is too much—he deliberately made him go out and see for himself, hahaha!"]
—["We need to measure the psychological damage No. 32 just suffered!"]
—["No. 32's mental state has officially collapsed."]
—["(Covers mouth, crying) If I were No. 32, I'd lose my mind too. I'm eating chili peppers while he's feasting on lobster tails… Life is unfair!"]
—["…"]
Meanwhile…
Cao Shengming sat in confusion.
For some reason, his popularity had suddenly skyrocketed.
He pondered.
Could it be… that he was so handsome that fans were falling for him just by watching him sit there doing nothing?
Without thinking, he turned to his photographer. "Do you think I'm handsome?"
The photographer blinked. "Where do you get the confidence to ask that?"
Cao Shengming waved dismissively. "Forget it. Your taste might be questionable. Let's change the topic. Since we'll be stuck together for a year, let's at least introduce ourselves. What's your name?"
"My surname is Zhang."
"Zhang what?"
"Zhang San Li Si."
Cao Shengming: "???"
Live Studio: "???"
The photographer, who had just introduced himself as Zhang San Li Si, showed no sign of hesitation. Instead, he grinned. "What about you, bro? What's your name?"
"My surname is Cao."
"Cao what?"
"Cao Nima."
Zhang San Li Si: "???"
Live Studio: "..."
The Chat Explodes…
—["(Laughing and crying) I looked at Bai Jiaxing and fell into deep contemplation!"]
—["66666~~~"]
—["I can't stop laughing. These names have to be fake. This is too much!"]
—["(Covers mouth, crying) Am I watching a reality show or an outdoor comedy special?!"]
—["(Rolling on the floor) Their conversation just gave me an existential crisis."]
—["Photographer: 'Bro, this is just an introduction… why does it feel like we're hurling insults?' (lol)"]
Cao Shengming went silent.
Zhang San Li Si also went silent.
After a long moment, he looked at Cao Shengming with a complicated expression. "Bro… you're joking, right?"
Cao Shengming stayed expressionless. "Weren't you joking first? Who in the world is actually named Zhang San Li Si!?"
Zhang San Li Si huffed. "My dad's surname is Zhang, and his given name is San. My mom's surname is Li, and her given name is Si. So I'm Zhang San Li Si. What's wrong with that!?"
Cao Shengming's jaw dropped. "Holy sh*t, when you put it like that… your name actually sounds kind of legit."
For a moment, he was in awe. "Damn, the cultural depth in your family is something else. I respect it. If I ever get the chance, I'll visit your parents to personally express my admiration."
Zhang San Li Si squinted. "So… your name really is Cao Nimad?"
"What?! Of course not!" Cao Shengming waved him off. "My last name is Cao, but my full name is Cao Shengming."
The photographer nodded thoughtfully. "Your name actually sounds kinda sophisticated."
"I think so too."
"Still not as sophisticated as mine, though."
"Oh, you son of a—"
The Live Chat Loses It…
—["(Covers mouth, crying) How did these two comedic prodigies end up together?"]
—["I swear, I'm about to die from laughing at these two!"]
—["Excuse me, if I die laughing because of them, can I sue?"]
—["(Facepalms) You'd have to ask the Grim Reaper about that… I don't think the legal system covers death by comedy."]
—["233333~~ My stomach hurts from laughing. These two are must-follow content!"]
Thirty Minutes Later…
Cao Shengming wiped his mouth, satisfied. He had demolished an entire plate of shrimp tails and two chicken legs.
Of course, he had also downed four cans of Coke.
Zhang San Li Si, who had been watching from across the table, stared at him in shock.
After a long silence, he muttered, "I don't get it. How do you eat so much? Three full bowls of rice? Four cans of Coke? And you're still not fat?"
Cao Shengming let out a loud burp and shot him a side glance. "You think just eating makes you gain weight? Ha! Do you have any idea how hard it is to put on weight? I used to drink two cups of milk tea a day, eat three slices of cake, and still lost three pounds over the course of a year."
Zhang San Li Si: "…"
"So yeah, don't expect me to get fat from eating a few shrimp tails."
Zhang San Li Si (forced smile): "I don't wanna live anymore."
Cao Shengming stood up, stretching. "You done eating? Let's go take a walk and digest."
The photographer refused to respond.
At that exact moment, thousands of viewers in the live chat also felt like smashing their screens.