All that crossed her mind at the moment was regrets... She shouldn't have let her friend talk her into dressing up, into drinking., into a place where she didn't belong.
"I was drunk. He knew I was drunk." Her fingers curled into fists as anger surged through her, only to be drawned by the overwhelming wave of shame.
"But I did not stop him..., did I?"
She squeezed her eyes shut, letting water cascade over her face. The memories were blur, but the soreness in her body was real. The cheque on the nightstand was real.
She stayed under the water until her skin was raw, until the bathroom was filled ith nothing but steam and silence. When she finally turned the water off, her limbs felt heavy, exhaustion settling into her bones.
Wrapping a towel around herself, she stepped out of the shower and avoided the mirror. She didn't want to see herself- not like this.
Not when she couldn't recognize the girl staring back.
Out of the bathroom, she now stood in front of her wardrobe, her fingers brushing over the fabric of her clothes. The fresh scent of soap clung onto her skin, but no matter how much she had scrubbed in the shower, she still felt dirty.
She grabbed a simple cotton dress, soft and loose fitting, slipping it over her head. The fabric draped over her body, a stark contrast to the suffocating dress from the night before.
It was Saturday. No classes, no obligations. Nothing to distract her from the storm raging in her mind.
She sank on to the edge of her bed, wrapping her arms around herself as she replayed the last twelve hours over and over again. The club. The drinks. The deep voice whispering in her ear. Thee flashes of a hotel room. The cheque.
Her stomach churned.
Just as the weight of it all threatened to suffocate her, her phone buzzed on the nightstand causing her to flinch.
For a second, she considered ignoring it. Letting it ring while pretending that she did not exist for a while, but then, she saw the name flashing on the screen - Maya.
Her best friend. The reason she had gone to that damn party in the first place. With a steadying breath, she picked it up and pressed it to her ear... No words came out of her mouth.
Maya's voice came through immediately, a mixture of concern and frustration. "Kelsey, where the hell have you been?!"
Kelsey swallowed, forcing a neutral tone. "What do you mean?"
"Don't 'what do you mean' to me! You left in the middle of the party without saying anything! I was looking for you everywhere. I called you like a million times, but you never answered!"
Kelsey closed her eyes, gripping the edge of the bed. She could hear the genuine worry in Maya's voice, but the last thing she wanted to do was to explain.
She forced out a laugh- light and dismissive. "Sorry, I wasn't feeling well. I must have dozed off when I got home.
A beat of silence. Then- "Dozed off?!" Maya sounded skeptical. "Kels, don't lie to me. You were fine one second, then gone the next. What happened? Did someone say something to you?"
Kelsey's grip on the phone tightened.
"No." She said quickly. Too quickly. "No, nothing happened. I just... I think I had too much to drink, and it hit me all at once. I didn't want to ruin the mood, so I left.
There was a short silence before Maya responded,
"Are you sure?" Her voice was softer now, laced with concern. " I just... I feel awful. I shouldn't have let you drink too much. You are not used to it. I should have watched out for you better."
Gult curled in Kelsey's chest, but she pushed it down.
"It is not your fault."
"But..,"
"Really." Kelsey cut in, forcing a smile into her voice. " I just need to rest. Don't worry about me, okay?"
Maya hesitated before sighing. " Fine, but I'm coming over later. You need greasy food and bad movies. No arguments."
Panic spiked in Kelsey's chest. She wasn't ready for company- for questions.
"I_ " she scrambled for an excuse. "Actually, my dad might need me to run some errands for him today. Rain chack?"
Maya groaned. "Ugh fine. But you're not getting out of it next time.
"Deal," Kelsey said, her voice steadier than she felt.
"Alright,just text me if you need anything, okay?"
"I will," Kelsy lied again.
As soon as the call ended, she let the phone slip from her fingers and fall onto the bed. Her chest felt tight. Her head pounded. The body soreness was a reminder that no matter how well she could lie to Maya, she could not lie to herself.
Something had happened. And she had no idea on how to fix it.
The day crawled by, each hour stretching endlessly as Kelsey lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't bring herself to do anything - not to watch TV, not to scroll through her phone, not to even open her laptop and distract herself with school work.
The weight of the morning, of what had happened pressed against her chest like an unbearable force, making even the simliest movement felt exhausting.
She kept replaying the moment she woke up in that hotel room, the ache in her body a cruel reminder of what she couldn't fully remember. And the cheque - half a million - mocked her. She had left it there, untouched, along with the letter she never dared to open.
Her stomach growled at some point in the afternoon, but she ignored it. Hunger didn't seem to matter.
The world outside her window slowly darkened, the sun melting into the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and purple. She remained motionless, lost in thought, until the sound of a car pulling into the driveway snapped her out of her haze.
Her father was home.