Chapter 1: Otto Apocalypse Wakes Up in Hell, But It's Worse Than He Expected
Otto Apocalypse expected many things after his death.
Maybe a trip to the afterlife, where Kallen would be waiting with open arms, either to hug him or stab him (both were equally likely). Maybe eternal damnation for all the war crimes, human experiments, and reality-altering nonsense he'd pulled over the centuries, not to mention his way of gaslighting those he considered friends and enemies.
What he did not expect was waking up in a luxurious golden palace, lying on an absurdly soft bed, while the sound of humming echoed in the background right next to a window.
He blinked.
Then he blinked again.
Otto, who had already experienced too much bullshit in life, sighed.
The doors to his lavish room—solid gold, adorned with intricate engravings of a Goddessdessdess and not just any Goddessdessdess.
Goddessdessdess Kiana.
Flowing white hair, divine wings, and eyes shimmering with unfathomable power. A literal Goddessdessdess, capable of reshaping reality with a thought. And right now, she was looking at him with the kind of expression that one might use when staring at their favorite childhood teddy bear. (A/N: lord give me strength)
"Good morning, Otto!" Kiana beamed, hands clasped together as she skipped toward him.
Otto sighed again. "I'm already regretting being alive."
Kiana pouted. "Aww, don't be like that! You're finally here with me! Forever and ever!"
Otto paused his spine tingling and the back of the hair rising. Then slowly, and carefully, he asked the only appropriate question:
"Kiana. Have you perhaps… lost your mind?"
She giggled.
Otto didn't like that.
Chapter 2: Understanding the Madness
Otto sat stiffly on an ornate throne—correction, his throne, because Kiana had created one specifically for him. She lounged casually beside him, her expression dreamy as if she were a girl in love and not an all-powerful Goddessdess holding him captive in a fabricated reality.
He rubbed his temple. "Let's start from the beginning, shall we?"
Kiana tilted her head, as if indulging him in a harmless game. "Okay!"
"You're a Goddess now."
"Yup!"
"You could do literally anything."
"Of course~"
"And out of all possibilities, you chose to… abduct me?"
Kiana gasped, looking genuinely offended. "Otto, you say it like I kidnapped you! This is love! I saved you from disappearing into nothingness!"
Otto closed his eyes. Counted to five. Opened them. "Kiana."
"Yes~?"
"You're insane."
Kiana giggled. "Awww, you always say the sweetest things."
Otto took a slow, deep breath. He needed to understand the depth of her madness before he could outmaneuver it.
"Why me?" he finally asked.
Kiana's expression softened. She reached out, tracing a single finger along the armrest of his throne. "Because you're the only one who understands, Otto."
He didn't like how she said that.
"You spent centuries chasing one person—defying fate, rewriting reality, breaking everything in your way—just to see her again."
Otto remained silent.
Her glowing gaze locked onto his.
"I admire that."
Otto swallowed. He was starting to get the full picture now. She didn't just love him. She idolized him. Which is not supposed to happened since he was the one who cause her to lose her friends and family.
Otto knew that something must have happened after his departure from the world. Whatever it was it caused a massive change in her personality.
Otto was scared. He knew he had to escape, no matter how long it takes.
Chapter 3: The Escape Attempts Begin
Otto was not a man who accepted imprisonment—even if his jailer was a Goddessdess.
Over the following days (or what passed for "days" in this timeless realm), he tested his limits.
Direct Confrontation:"Kiana, you can't keep me here.""Silly Otto, of course I can~"Pleading to Reason:"Don't you have more important things to do? Like fixing the world?""Oh, don't worry. I already did that! You're my top priority now!"Tricking Her with Logic:"If you truly love me, you should respect my wishes.""Awww, Otto, you always try so hard. But no."Actual Escape Attempts:He tried crafting a Honkai-powered teleportation device. She let him finish it, then clapped excitedly when he activated it—only for the portal to open back into the same room.He tried stabbing himself, hoping she'd be forced to let him go. She sighed, snapped her fingers, and healed him instantly.He tried to convince her by reciprocating her feelings, thinking he could manipulate her into loosening her hold.
It backfired spectacularly.
Chapter 4: Desperation Sets In
Otto sat on the chapel floor, utterly defeated.
Kiana, meanwhile, was busy drawing little doodles of the two of them in her celestial notebook. Every single page was filled with "Otto x Kiana" scenarios.
"This is my hell," Otto muttered.
Kiana hummed. "Oh, Otto, don't be so dramatic~"
He groaned. "Why couldn't you obsess over someone else? What happened to Mei and Bronya—"
Kiana's mood immediately darkened. The entire realm trembled.
Otto tensed. He had made a mistake.
"Otto," she said sweetly, leaning close until her face was mere inches from his. "Do you think that was going to do you anything good?"
He swallowed. "…That's not what I meant."
Kiana giggled, her usual cheer returning. "Good!."
He was never getting out of this.
Otto Apocalypse faced honkai, people who wanted to overthrew his rule during his time as the overseer of schicksal, and shaped the world through sheer will.
But for the first time in his life, he was truly, utterly doomed.
Chapter 5: The Baby Obsession Begins
Otto had made peace with many things in his long, miserable life.
But Kiana suddenly deciding she wanted to have his child was not one of them.
"I've been thinking, Otto~" Kiana mused, floating lazily in the air beside him.
"That's never a good sign," Otto muttered under his breath.
Kiana either ignored him or pretended to ignore him, which was just as terrifying. "We love each other, right?"
"Absolutely not."
She giggled. "Oh, Otto, you're so shy~"
Otto sighed and massaged his temples. "Kiana, what exactly do you want now?"
Her face lit up with excitement. "A baby!"
Otto choked. "I—what?"
"A baby! A cute, little, adorable bundle of joy! With your intelligence and my power, they'd be perfect!"
He blinked. Then, blinked again. Surely, he misheard.
"You want to… reproduce?"
"Yes!"
"With me?"
"Obviously!"
Otto inhaled sharply. "Kiana."
"Yesss~?"
"Do you even know how reproduction works?"
Kiana pouted. "Of course I do! I'm a Goddess, Otto, not an idiot!"
Otto's soul left his body for a brief moment. This was the worst timeline. (A/N: You said it, not me."
Chapter 6: Otto's Immediate and Utter Panic
Otto had escaped death for 500 years. He had outwitted the honkai God. He has guided and protected humanity to the best of his ability.
And yet, not a single one of those skills could save him from this nightmare.
Kiana was already planning names.
She sat on his throne (because of course she stole it), happily scribbling down possibilities on a scroll made of cosmic energy.
"Hmm, if it's a girl, how about Kallen? Or Kalina? Or Kiana Jr.?"
Otto groaned. "Please, please tell me you're joking."
Kiana ignored him. "And if it's a boy—maybe Ottokas? Or Otto Jr.!" She gasped. "Wait, wait, what about Otto-Kiana Supreme? That sounds powerful!" (A/N: Good lord almighty someone stop me from my fantasies.)
Otto who was going through a mental breakdown was seriously considering jumping off this floating celestial island and hoping for the sweet release of death.
Kiana, meanwhile, had already started constructing a baby room.
Chapter 7: The First Escape Attempt (Baby Edition)
Otto needed a plan. Fast.
Option 1: Convince her that babies require… work.
Failed."Oh, don't worry, Otto! I'll do everything! You just have to love me back~"
Option 2: Claim infertility.
Failed."Silly Otto, I'm a Goddess! I can fix that!"
Option 3: Escape while she's distracted.
Attempting now:
Otto slowly, carefully backed away while Kiana was designing celestial baby cribs. He just needed to reach the edge of the floating island—
"Otto~"
His soul froze.
He turned, reluctantly, to see Kiana smiling innocently.
"Where are you going?"
"…For a walk."
Kiana's expression darkened just slightly. "You weren't trying to run away, were you?"
Otto put on his most convincing (and fake) smile. "Of course not! Why would I ever leave this… wonderful paradise?"
Kiana beamed. "Aww, Otto, you're so sweet! Now, come help me decide on baby clothes!"
Otto internally screamed.
Chapter 8: The Madness Deepens
Otto sat in what used to be his room but was now The Divine Nursery.
Kiana was already assembling baby bottles from cosmic particles.
He had lost control of everything which he considering he never had any control to being with.
"I'm thinking we should have at least three," Kiana mused. "Maybe four. No, wait! Five sounds like a good number, right?"
Otto almost had an aneurysm. "Five what?!"
Kiana blinked at him. "Babies, of course!"
Otto's soul ascended to another plane of absolute horror.
He needed a way out. Immediately.
Chapter 9: Otto's Last-Ditch Effort
Otto sat her down. Face-to-face.
"Kiana," he said seriously.
She tilted her head, curious. "Yes?"
"I am begging you," he said, voice even. "Please, please on Mei sempai life, do not do this."
Kiana pouted. "But whyyy? Don't you want cute little Ottos and Kianas running around?"
"Hell No."
She gasped. The Audacity.
Otto seized the moment. "Listen to me carefully. Children require balance, time, and effort. They can't be raised in a floating Goddess-realm."
Kiana frowned. "Oh… then I'll just create a real world for them!"
Otto's eye twitched. "Kiana, you can't just create an entire world for a baby."
"Sure I can~"
"…That's not the point."
Kiana huffed. "Otto, you're overthinking this! Just love me and let me make you happy!"
Otto took a deep, deep breath. He needed drastic measures.
So he lied.
"…I already have a child."
Kiana froze.
Her glowing eyes darkened with something dangerous.
Otto immediately regretted everything.
"…Oh?" Kiana's voice was dangerously sweet. "Who is she?"
Otto swallowed. "I—uh—"
Kiana's smile widened. "Where. Is. She?"
Otto knew, in that moment, that he had made a terrible mistake.
Part 1 finished.