The system remained silent, and I took it as an opportunity to continue my trek to the village. But apparently, fate had other plans. A slimy blob emerged from the underbrush, the epitome of a classic RPG enemy. It had to be a slime.
[ New Quest: Defeat the Slimy Intruder! ]
"Alright let's see what this rusty dagger can do" I whispered to myself, gripping the hilt tightly. The slime wobbled closer, its gelatinous body seemingly oblivious to the danger I posed. But as I raised the blade, the system's notification popped up again, mocking my attempt at heroism.
[ Slime detected. Recommendation: Use the environment. ]
I slice the dagger at the gummy blob, expecting it to split into smaller slimes. But instead, it morphs into a series of smaller blobs that start to dance around me, dodging my attacks like they're in some kind of sick, gelatinous ballet.
The slimes giggle, their high-pitched laughter grating on my nerves. "Seriously?" I shout, swiping the air again.
I look around, desperate for something, anything that could help. Then, I spot it: a nearby stream, sparkling under the light of the setting sun. "Oh, you want to play that game?" I say, grinning like a madman.
I sprint towards the slimes, and as I do, I feel a strange warmth in my chest. It's the system, I realize, trying to give me a hint. I leap into the air, and as I come down, I swing my rusty dagger in a wide arc, sending a spray of water at the slimes. They squeal as the droplets hit them, and their gelatinous forms start to solidify.
[Minor Level Up!]
[New Skill: Rapid Slashes acquired!]
[Your stats have slightly improved: Dexterity +1, Strength +1]
Your current level: 1.5 (Pathetic)
Your stats: Trashtier
Your skills: Rapid Slashes
Your title: "Still Fresh Meat"
Dexterity:1
Strentgh:1
Agility:1
Intelligence:20
Wisdom:15
Charisma:0
Luck:69 (Blessed by the universe)
"Wow so I guess this luck means I have plot armor...I wonder how many chapters I'll live for"
I couldn't believe my eyes as the stats popped up. Why hadn't I seen these numbers before? It had to be the system messing with me. A cheeky grin spread across my face. It was like I had been playing a game on easy mode without even knowing it, and now the universe had decided to throw me a bone and finally give me some real stats. The slimes had stopped their annoying giggling and were now stuck in place, their gooey forms solidified into something resembling a sad, defeated jello salad.
The village fire grew closer, the heat blistering my skin. The chaos was like something out of a disaster movie, but instead of the level 9000 hero and his busty harem running in to save the day, it was just me. No fancy armor, no legendary sword, just a rusty dagger and a half-eaten loaf of bread. The villagers were screaming for help, their fear thick in the air like the smoke billowing around me.
As I reached the outskirts, I saw a group of goblins cackling as they looted the burning homes. They were the source of the destruction, and they looked like they were having the time of their lives. I gritted my teeth. "Looks like I'm the hero today," I murmured to myself. "Great."
I glanced at the system panel, looking for a weapon. "Hey, can I get a sword or something?" I asked, half-serious. To my astonishment, a gleaming blade shot out of the sky and hurtled straight towards my face.
"Whoa, shit!" I ducked, the sword grazing my hair. It stuck into the ground with a thud, vibrating with power. My eyes went wide, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, you got me."
I reached for the sword, and as my hand closed around the hilt, it shimmered and transformed into something that looked like it belonged in a museum. The blade was a sleek, midnight black, and it practically hummed with energy. A crimson aura danced along the edge, hinting at its lethality
Eternal Dark Sword
Level:2
Average damage:10%
"Alright, let's do this," I murmured, charging towards the goblins.
"Wait," I called out to the system. "Can I get some armor, please? Something a little more hero-like than this shirt that's barely hanging on?"
[ Pushing your luck, aren't you? ]
"Okay asshole" I grumble, "I guess I'll have to make do."
The goblins, noticing me, paused in their pillaging to sneer. One of them spit a wad of something green at me that barely missed.
"Let's not keep this party going," I grumbled, and lunged at the nearest goblin. The blade of my new sword was like a hot knife through butter. I swung it with all my might, aiming for the creature's midsection. The impact was surprisingly satisfying, like cutting through a watermelon at a summer BBQ.
The goblin's eyes widened in shock as I split it down the middle. It let out a gurgling scream, and then... it exploded. Green goo splattered everywhere, covering me from head to toe. I stumbled back, blinking rapidly to clear the slime from my eyes.
[ Combo Bonus! ]
[ Your sword has leveled up! ]
Eternal Dark Sword
Level:3
Average damage:15%
I looked down at my now goo-covered sword with a mix of awe and disgust. "Well, that's... unexpected," I murmured.
The other goblins, momentarily stunned by the fate of their comrade, didn't realize their own impending doom. I took a deep breath and charged into the fray, sword flashing in the fading light. The smell of burning wood and roasting meat filled the air, making my stomach growl. I'd deal with the hunger later, first, I had to save this dumpster fire of a village.
A goblin charged at me, brandishing a rusty sword with the enthusiasm of a kid waving a stick at a piñata. I stepped aside with surprising grace and watched as it stumbled past, tripping over a loose cobblestone. Before it could recover, I swung my new Eternal Dark Sword with the finesse of a toddler with a toy lightsaber.
To my utter amazement, the blade connected with the goblin's neck with a sickening crunch. Its head went flying, landing with a thud in the mud. The body stood there for a second, then toppled over like a ragdoll. The system beeped in approval, awarding me with experience points and a notification that I'd leveled up again.
"Well, that was easy," I quipped, feeling a thrill of excitement. The villagers had stopped screaming and were now watching me with a mix of horror and hope. One of them, a young girl with soot-smudged cheeks, whispered, "Is... is he going to save us?"