Sixty-six lives. Countless memories. Fleeting guilt. Time flows like sand between fingers, leaving behind a trail of lives lived and lost. Human existence streams by without pause, a relentless river of birth, death, and rebirth.
I've lost count of when the profound questions of life began swirling in my mind. Perhaps it was when I sensed the weight of a beloved's departure, and my condolences felt hollow and devoid .My heart, worn from countless experiences, no longer feels worthy of weariness.
When you live only once, responsibility and the drive to live happily consume your thoughts. No child hopes for a life to be filled with discomfort and sadness. But when you live more than once, with memories intact from the past, desperation turns into a desire to experience the most in the next life.
In this earthly realm, where redemption is scarce and trust is rare, a second chance at life is a ripe fruit waiting to be plucked. Yet, here I am, living my 66th life. I've once been a happily married women , a funeral organizer, a beloved lover, and a forgotten conclusion of one's love. I've experienced life's riches and its pitifulness, begged for generosity as a beggar.
When one lives a life filled with thousands of thoughts and memories, numbness sets in. Normal human emotions become a pretense, harder to express and easier to manifest .My subconscious responses have become more accurate, more fitting for each situation that an alternate thought.
As I reflect on my past lives, they seem like distant memories, not factual dreams. So, in this life, as Ju Miyeon, I expect nothing more than another passing season, a fruitless existence. I've accepted that death is an inevitable part of life, and this loop of reliving days is an undesirable yet inescapable fate of my wicked soul and life.
Yet one tradition remains: I visit my past self's funeral, pick up the flowers left by my once-in-a-lifetime relatives and family. A famous quote from one of my past lives echoes in my mind:
"Once a dead person lies in a coffin, they receive more flowers of repentance than when alive, getting a single glance of gratefulness."
—Icymitsy_missy
"TRANSCENDING MEMORIES "