After a long shower, Sae trudged back into the locker room. He'd deliberately taken his time to avoid having to chat any more than he had to with his mediocre teammates. They were undoubtedly wallowing in their pathetic loss. He found the locker room empty except for Shidou. He should have known. Shidou grinned at him wickedly, his sharp canines flashing in the light, still buzzing from the high of his amazing goals. Sae ignored him as Shidou bounded into his space, clearly still not done loudly proclaiming his excitement over playing with him and the admittedly incredible goals he scored under Sae's careful guidance. Sae continued to ignore him and tune out the constant chatter until he felt something being shoved roughly into his hand. Looking down, he saw a majorly cracked iPhone in a hideously fluorescent pink case.
"I'd like your number eyelashes senior, as promised." The demon grinned at him, a hopeful sparkle in his eyes as he beamed at Sae.
Sae surveyed the chaotic ball of energy before him. He contemplated his decision and resigned himself to his fate. He was a man of his word after all. Sure, Shidou didn't get the hat trick as promised, but Shidou continued to intrigue him. He had delivered on the field, both with his soccer skills and his audacity to challenge Sae in ways most wouldn't dare. Listening to Sae when requested and pushing back. Fighting for Sae's number and calling out Sae's loss to Rin. It was interesting to see how it was all feeling. The demon had had no interest in Sae until the game, even though he was Itoshi Sae.
Sighing, he inputted his number and handed the phone back to Shidou. Shidou cradled the phone in his hands like a treasured artefact, surveying it in disbelief. His eyes were so wide that Sae snorted in amusement, unable to help himself.
"Why so shocked demon? You're the one who asked for it."
"Yeah", Shidou gaped hoarsely but instantly began to pick up steam, a grin stretching out on his face at lightning speed. "But still, it's almost too good to be true ya know. Oh my god, Itoshi Sae, this is so exciting!"
Sae rolled his eyes, "Tssk, don't abuse the privilege."
"Aye, Aye, Sir! I won't!" Shidou flashed him a dazzling smile, giving him a cheeky salute.
Sae suppressed rolling his eyes for a second time, reaching down to pick up his bag and then became almost completely off balance. One second, he was reaching for his bag. The next, Sae was being thrown back into the locker. Caught by complete surprise as Shidou rushed into his space, pushing him hard, back into the lockers, and kissed him. No hesitation, no contemplation. It was like all that was Shidou, violent, unpredictable and enthusiastic.
Shidou immediately plunged his tongue into Sae's mouth, who made a startled noise at the intrusion. He felt like his brain was short-circuiting. His instincts worked for him as he threw his arms around Shidou's neck, bringing him closer, clutching onto him as he began to respond. Thinking of nothing but the tongue that was plunging into his mouth, of Shidou, who he could feel pressed up against him. And Sae kissed back, hard, following Shidou's movements, who responded with even more enthusiasm. There was no strategy, no thought, just sensation. A high-pitched whine reverberated around the empty locker room, which Shidou responded to, moaning loudly into Sae's mouth, gripping him possessively and griding his very hard cock against Sae. Sae could feel it against him, the heat. He could feel his own cock hardening, pushing against Shidou's thigh.
"Fuck you make the hottest noises, lashes", Shidou spoke softly into his neck before sucking down, causing Sae's breath to hitch. "Gets me so hard".
Sae felt as though his brain was doused with cotton wool, like all his thoughts were travelling around in slow motion. His thoughts began to return and speed up to their normal rate as self-consciousness crept in. 'Hottest noises?' him? His face began to burn as he realised that pathetic whine, that was him. He had made that noise. What the fuck was he doing. He pushed Shidou off him with all his strength.
Shidou was caught by surprise and gave a small yelp. He stumbled back into the bench but reacted quickly, almost immediately regaining his footing as he whipped around to face Sae, balanced and upright. Sae stood, back still against the lockers, panting harder than he had at any point during the previous match. He tried to stabilise his breathing. He stared at Shidou, bewildered.
"What? – Why?... Why'd you do that?" he gasped, his voice hoarse as he leaned against the lockers, chest heaving.
He watched Shidou, who was in a similar out-of-breath state, looking at him with those pink eyes. They were almost black with lust. Sae felt pinned to the spot by the intensity of them, the hunger in them.
Shidou's grin returned sharper than ever. "I just wanted to see if you'd let me."
Sae's breath hitched. He felt like he'd been slapped around the face. What Shidou left unsaid was perfectly clear. He had let him. What the fuck was he doing, kissing his fucking teammates. He'd completely fucking lost it and couldn't comprehend how he'd got there. Had there even been a day in recent memory that he'd done something without prior thought, without planning, it was a total loss of control, of everything he'd worked so hard for his entire life. He floundered on the spot, feeling Shidou's eyes watching him, lasering in on his every move, every expression, as he tried to pull himself together. He considered running, he considered punching Shidou, of screaming in his face, of pulling Shidou back in. He was boiling, uncertainty rising, all for the tension in the room to dissipate as suddenly as it appeared.
Shidou just smiled at him warmly, turning away to pick up his stuff and slinging his bag over his shoulder. He then came close, teasingly throwing an arm around him as Sae stood poker straight.
"Thanks for the number lashes! I can't wait to be Facetime buddies," he said in a teasing lilt.
Sae pushed him off immediately but felt immense relief wash over him, like a comforting warmth as things turned back into familiar habits. This he could deal with. This he knew how to handle.
"We will not be Facetime buddies", Sae responded dully as they walked from the locker room together.
"But I can call and text you right, pleaseeeeeeeee," Shidou whined, trying to hang off Sae's arm again, who shook him off.
"Well, I wouldn't have given it to you if you weren't allowed to use it, but if you abuse this privilege, I will make you regret it. Are we clear, demon?" He spoke cooly and firmly, meaning every word.
"Sir, yes, sir!" Shidou chanted cheekily, giving him a salute.
"This is so fucking cool. Can I call you tomorrow, lashes? Can I ?!" He begged excitedly, almost vibrating on the spot like an excitable puppy.
Sae smirked at him. "Fine, my little demon, you can call me if you're so desperate to. But there's no guarantee I'll pick up. I have a tight schedule."
Shidou whooted, jumping up into the air. They walked outside the stadium. Sae nodded at his driver, waiting for him with an open door. He slid into the back of the waiting car as Shidou jumped around excitably on the spot.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow Sae-chan, light of my life, passer of dreams!"
Sae sighed, shaking his head again as the car pulled away. Finally, giving Sae time to come down and contemplate the whirlwind that today had been. He firmly tried to push the locker room incident from his mind. But as the drive continued, he found that every time he thought of the match, Shidou began to creep in, and then what had just happened in the locker room swam into view, making it difficult to ignore. Sae huffed angrily at himself. Fine. He'd let himself think about it just a little bit, and then he could move on.
It was just a little kiss; he rationalised to himself. It was barely anything. Shidou was weird like that, maybe it did mean nothing. It was just a weird after-game thing. Shidou was still excited about the match they'd played, and Sae had played a huge role in that. Yeah, that was it. It didn't mean anything. It didn't mean anything about Sae. He wasn't the one who'd kissed anyone, he just happened to be standing there, and then that horny demon had lunged at him. But why didn't he move? He could have. He was pushed back into the lockers, and there was a moment to push Shidou off. There were many moments, but he hadn't done that. He'd dragged Shidou closer. He cringed at himself, flushing as he remembered the needy whine he'd made. He hadn't known he was capable of such a noise. He'd never had a kiss like that, that made him feel something. His body had betrayed him. No. He wasn't even going to entertain it.
Past kisses were juvenile things, one with a girl in a game of truth or dare. Another at a party in Spain. He'd felt nothing, and after that, he'd been reluctant to let anyone in his space at all. He didn't like being touched by people, to be vulnerable near them. He'd seen teammates losing it over girls and all it did was distract them from soccer, no discipline, no control. He never wanted to be in a position like that. It had been easy to ignore girls. He'd been so focused on soccer. It was his whole life. It was win or lose, and he had to win. Ignoring girls was easy, especially as he'd never particularly had any interest in them.
He had one kiss once. With a boy in his training group in Spain. That too, had been unexpected, not something Sae had consciously initiated. The kiss had been soft and tentative. Sae had felt something. It had felt pleasant, right, more right than the brief brushing of lips together should have felt. That was until the horror and the overwhelming crushing feelings of reality had set in. And Sae, well, he still felt something, but these feelings were so much larger in magnitude than pleasant. Sae had swiftly run away from the boy, and was sick, repeatedly. Throwing up into the bushes as his panic and fear set in, tainting all good feelings surrounding the moment. Panic consumed him as he realised what it could mean.
This was not something that he'd envisioned for his future. Itoshi Sae was going to be the best midfielder in the world. Nothing was going to stop that. Nothing could hinder that. His entire life hinged on the building to be the best in the world. There were no professional gay soccer players. That was a fact. There was rampant homophobia inside the sport he played. That was a fact. Being gay was something that could be dangerous for his career. That was a fact. Professional football players did not kiss boys. That was a fact. Boys were not supposed to want to kiss boys. Therefore, this was something he could not be.
He was thankful when that boy moved clubs and eventually stopped playing soccer. He could breathe easier and almost convince himself it never happened. Tying off a loose end that could be put into a neat little box, not to be opened. Stored away, with all the other useless information that didn't help him get to his goal. And it had been surprisingly easy to not think about and not engage. He didn't want anyone to touch him anyway. He didn't need anyone in his life to distract him from his future prospects, let alone some nameless boyfriend. How could he mourn for something he'd never had? He had thought that box was closed and buried. But Shidou Ryusei had bounded into his space and wrenched that box from the ground with his bare hands, demanding Sae pay attention to it, pay attention to him.
Sae sighed as he finished up in his shower. His self-discipline was all over the place today, and he blamed the demon. He wasn't supposed to think of the locker room. Shidou was simply an annoying, one-time teammate, who had potential that was not appreciated by the four-eyed freak. He dried himself off, pulling on fresh clothes, ready to go out, tie up loose ends, and return the demon. Sae wondered whether Shidou Ryusei would let Sae neatly box him up and bury him back in the ground.