INA

I belched, squeezing the empty can of beer. A small smile tugged at my lips as I read the inscriptions on the can.

"Never gets old", I muttered.

The more I drank, the lighter and happier I felt. And the more I forgot. And God knows how badly I wanted to forget everything for one night.

I wasn't the type go out drinking at night. Firstly because of the terrible hang over, which would make it difficult for me to get out of bed and go to work. Secondly, I knew it was unsafe for a lone girl like me.

But I could not bring myself to care. I was tired. And each time I remembered her wide eyes full horror and tears directed at me, my heart ached.

Shaking my head to rid the picture, I cracked open another can.

The local drinking joint was not that full today, yet it was loud with chatters and laughter of drunk men and women, who probably came to rewind after a long day of work.

It was cold as well. But the beer provided some kind of warmth.

The lights suddenly turned off, followed by loud yelling of obscene words and curses. A fat, drunk man even slammed his fists on the table, earning the attention of the bar owner.

"You break my table, you pay for it!" He yelled from the counter, a deep frown on his wrinkled face.

Power outage was not an uncommon phenomenon. Yet, people never failed to react in the same surprised and frustrated way. Beethoven alley was the slums of the city. If not for the less than perfect roads, and unstable electricity, the living condition was not that bad. At least people like me could afford housing and feeding unlike most parts of the city where luxury was the order of the day.

I looked up at the starless sky. It would have been totally dark, if not for the bright, full moon, casting it's silvery light.

My lips pulled into a wide grin, as I admired the beauty of it. I would have taken a picture, if my phone had better camera quality and the battery wasn't running low.

At that moment, I had forgotten how broke and lost I was. How I was just living, without a particular direction.

My neck ached.

When I looked away from the sky, my eyes caught something. Or someone.

A young man was sitting on a bench at the corner, resting his head on the wall. Right next to where my scooter was parked.

I squinted my eyes, trying to get a good look at him. He seemed tall, with his long legs stretched out in front of him.

Why was he sitting by the corner, all by himself? Did he have no friends to join him?

My lips curled as I watched him. On a beautiful night like this, he was lonely like me.

And I was drunk. No, not yet. I still had a few more rounds to go before calling it a night.

I smiled again when an idea lit up my head. Scattered on my table were empty and full cans of beer. I opened the paper bag, stuffing it with both. It was bad to litter.

When I stood up, my vision darkened for a second, and I almost stumbled.

"No, I'm good", I said with an awkward giggle, even though no one asked.

I dragged my wobbly legs towards him, excited at the prospect of making a new friend. Mum said it was nice to make friends.

He didn't have any. Neither did I. See? We had a lot of things in common already.

The closer I moved, the more of him I noticed. He was wearing a brown knitted sleeved sweater over a white, collared shirt. The hem of his brown pants looked dirty, and so did his shoes. Like he had been walking on mud.

He had his eyes shut, a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

I stopped walking, admiring his sharp jaws and well defined facial features. He had a head full of dark hair, which was a little messy.

I could see the tension in his furrowed brows, pursed lips and veiny hands gripping the edge of the bench. He wasn't asleep. And I was probably intruding in a private moment.

He was handsome. My new friend was handsome. Girls would be so jealous of me.

I imagined the sour faces of my female co workers. I snorted, laughing at their ugly expressions.

He flinched, eyes opening.

I let out a giggle.

He eyed my petite form with an undecipherable expression.

"Can I sit?" I asked, fluttering my lashes at him. I hoped my cute doll expression that helped me get away with a lot of things would work on him.

His brows drew together, and he shifted to the edge. I took it as permission.

"Thank you", I chirped.

I sat on the bench, laying my bag beside me.

The young man, was clearly older than me. He was looking into space, like something was bothering him.

"Are you sad?" I asked, and he turned to me.

"That is fine. I'm sad and lonely too". I never admitted that to anyone. But for some reason, I said it without hesitation. It was probably the alcohol.

He stared at me for a moment, before looking away with a sigh.

My new friend was not in the mood to talk. But I was fine with it.

The both of us sat in silence as the minutes passed by, with me watching people laugh and joke. I couldn't hear what they were saying. But it was still entertaining to watch.

"Sitting here alone will not make you feel better you know? Why don't you buy something to drink?" I asked.

The young man looked at me before replying.

"I can't". His voice was deeper than I expected.

My lips curled. Not only was he lonely, he was so broke he could not afford to buy himself drinks. That was even worse.

Something pinched my heart lightly.

"That's okay. Luckily for you, I'm in a generous mood today". I flashed him a grin.

His thick brows drew together. I reached for my bag, fishing out a can of beer.

"Here", I stretched it towards him.

His eyes drifted to it, then back to me. The can felt oddly light.

"Ohhh. This one is empty". I laughed at myself.

I picked out another one before handing it to him. He looked at the can of beer with a blank expression before looking back at me.

"Are you even old enough to drink?"

The smile on my face fell, and I took back my beer. Offer expired.

Technically, I was still a minor, and therefore should not have been able to buy beer. However, the stall owner only cared about his money, and not who he was selling drinks to. I bet he would even sell to a five years old.

"Doesn't matter, I will be eighteen soon", I replied, cracking open the beer and drinking from the can.

He raised a brow at me like he did not believe me.

"I swear!" I placed my hand on my heart. I was not a liar.

And then he nodded, his lips twitching a little.

My age was an inconvenience that would soon be over. I was tired of people telling me I needed a guardian, when I had been doing just fine on my own. And age is just a number. Life experience mattered more!

My eyes shifted to his dirty shoes.

"Why are your shoes so dirty?" Why was I being so nosy? I usually minded my business.

My company for the night licked his lips, staring into space.

"I'm lost", he said, a look of melancholy crossing his eyes.

My brows drew together. Did he miss his way? Or did that have a deeper meaning? If it did, I could not bring my fried brain to decipher it.

"Hmm", I nodded like I understood shit.

"Anyways, my name is Ina. What's yours?" I gave him a friendly smile.

"I'm not willing to share that", he replied flatly.

I pouted my lips. Why?

"But I told you mine", I whined.

"Didn't ask", he replied nonchalantly.

I narrowed my eyes at him, my interest in making friends dying. No wonder he didn't have friends.

"Grumpy owl", I murmured.

"What did you say?" His frowned a little.

"Nothing!" I chirped.

Did something crawl up his ass and die?

Mr. Cranky pants shifted further away from me, before crossing his arms and looking forward.

He didn't like my company. Neither did I. And that was completely fine.

But I did not want to get up and leave. One, because of my stupid pride. Two, because I didn't think I could without falling flat on my face.

Usually at this point, the ache in my chest would have died. But it was still there.

Why does it still hurt? I thought, beating my chest.

"Haven't you had enough?" I heard him ask, but I ignored him. I did not want his concern.

"You know it isn't safe to be out here drunk and alone, right?"

"I'm not drunk yet". I raised a finger.

When I turned to him, he was looking at me with a small frown.

"Approaching a strange man while inebriated and alone. Is that stupidity or bravery?" He asked dryly.

"Are you calling me dumb?" I frowned at him. How dare he?

"It was a question. And you're offended, because you answered it and didn't like it", he said, like he was some kind of know it all.

Yeah right. I was a dumb idiot. Look at me.

"I'm smart", I declared, and he tilted his head slightly.

"I was smart enough to graduate high school two years early. But here I am. And I don't even know what I'm doing". I thought I had it all planned. All it took was one night for my life to spiral into chaos. Or maybe it wasn't one night. I always noticed the signs but chose to ignore it.

Until the madness took over. And I was left with an illusion and pieces of her memories.

Something pricked at my eyes. Wetness ran down my cheeks.

"God I'm crying". I broke into a sob, my lips curling down.

I could not see the expression on his face from my tear blinded eyes. So I didn't know whether he was judging me or pitying me.

I leaned against the wall, my shoulders trembling as I cried. I wanted, no needed for her to hold me. Even if it was just for the little moments where it looked like she was back.

"I miss her so much. I miss her hugs. Her clear loving eyes. But now she can barely stand me. For how long does this have to continue? I'm so tired". I cried louder.

After a while, I sniffed and wiped my tears. Mr. Cranky pants was handing me a handkerchief.

"Here".

I took the handkerchief from him. Wiping my tears, I blew my nose into it.

"Thanks", I said, returning the soft handkerchief.

He looked at it with his nose slightly scrunched before he said, "You can keep it".

So I kept it, squeezed it into my palm.

"Do you feel better?" He asked.

I nodded. Though my head hurt a lot. And my stomach felt funny.

"I feel like a loser", I admitted quietly.

"I think you're just lost", he said.

"Like you?" I asked, looking up at his framed eyes.

"Maybe. And I don't think drinking solves your problem".

"I know that. I just wanted to feel better", I slurred.

"Not a smart method", he commented dryly.

"Hey! I'm smart! I graduated high school..."

"Two years early. We've established the fact that you're book smart", he completed.

"And street smart. I have been surviving on my own all these while, so yeah", I defended.

He didn't know me. And he was acting like he knew everything. It was annoying.

"How smart are you?" I asked, looking at him with a challenge.

He raised his brows at me.

"Come on, answer".

He looked away, shaking his head. He let out a chuckle, followed by a smile.

I gasped, and his smile fell.

"You have a dimple! Do that again!" I shifted closer to him.

He had such a beautiful smile. And I wanted to see it again. But his stoic expression looked unmovable.

"Come on, you looked so cute just now", I moved closer, and he had nowhere else to shift to.

He looked so much better when he smiled. But right now, he was almost frowning. Yet he looked handsome. In a nerdy kind of way. Curiosity nabbed at me.

I wanted to know how he looked without those glasses. I shifted close to him, reaching for his face.

"What are you doing?" He asked cautiously, pulling away.

Ignoring him, I reach for his glasses and took it off.

He expression hardened, as he glared at me. But I grinned back, not intimidated by him.

"You look just the same", I said, and his face relaxed.

"Can you see without them?" I asked.

"A little", he looked at his glasses in my hand, as though he wanted them. But he wasn't getting it.

I grabbed his face, pushing myself off my seat. I leaned so close, there was little space between our faces.

"Can you see me clearly?" I asked, looking at his eyes. I was curious about him, and the intoxication gave me courage and no sense of preservation.

His lips parted to speak, but no words came out. His face felt warm to touch, and I could see the reddish tint on his cheeks.

Mr. Cranky Pants had pretty eyes too. They were brown, but I swear I could see specks of gold in them. They dilated softly, as they looked into mine.

Since he was not pushing me away, I did not see a reason to pull away from him. I did not want to.

"You're so cute", I smiled dreamily. His throat bobbed.

"I could kiss you right now". My eyes shifted to his very kissable looking lips.